I'd Kill Myself for You, I'd Kill You for Myself

Detective Ryan Parker found himself buried elbow deep in criminal records and case files. Loose sheets of evidence reports, manila envelopes and crime scene photos strewn across the dark stained mahogany desktop. An exhausted sigh befell his full lips, muscular forearms resting on the disheveled heap of information before his vacant ocean blue eyes. Months of thorough investigation and diligently assembled relationships uselessly castaway. With a disgruntled exhale, the detective mumbled a string of profanities as he sat back in his seat. A stiffening ache crept up the tender muscles of his spine. Being overtaken by a massive calamity, the entire case, he and his brother had sleeplessly dedicated countless hours to, had been blown. Somehow, the scumbags they were in route to demolish and put behind bars caught wind of the exploit. The entire operation had been blown within a matter of seconds. There was a leak in their airtight means of communication and it was his job to find out where the puncture was. The shrill ringing of a telephone interrupted the young man’s wandering thoughts.

“Detective Parker, speaking.” He held the receiver to his ear, strong hand gripping the device tightly, droning a monotone form of his rank and name as a greeting.

“So, are you coming home for dinner or am I ordering pizza?” The melodic voice questioned softly, the desperate underlying plea in the delicate female voice was enough to soften his tough demeanor instantly. Glancing at the wall mounted clock above the office door, he watched as the time struck eight pm. A heavy exhale escaped his nostrils in a defeated sigh, broad shoulders hunching as he lurched forward. Ryan closed his eyes; right hand holding the telephone firmly to his ear as the left pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I am... sorry.” The apology passed his lips in a faint whisper. There wasn’t a thing in the world he would rather be doing. Enjoying the evening cuddled up on the overstuffed black leather couch in the living room, their limbs tangled together as they watched a romantic comedy on their flat screen television. Instead, he was stuck in an uncomfortable office chair slumped over a mountain of dead ends. “I can’t.” I promise you Blake Marie Stevens that I’ll be in this bed right by your side you when you open those beautiful eyes of yours, he shook his head shamefully. He broke yet another promise to her. He wasn’t there when she woke up this morning and now, now he wouldn’t be there when she closed her beautiful crystalline eyes either. “I’m so sorry, baby.” The sympathy drowning the apology was unnervingly apparent. He hated disappointing her.

“It’s okay.” The inaudible sniffle hidden behind a forced cough barely escaped the beauty’s perfectly crafted nose.

“I love you.” Ryan whispered, foolishly thinking his love could fix everything. He could hope anyway, because that was all he really had; hope. “I love you so much.”

“I know you do, hon.” She replied quietly, voice wavering as she attempted to compose her emotions at least long enough to end the conversation. Then, then she would break down the wall she’d began to build around her heart. Trapping all of the disappointment, hurt and loneliness. She would allow her thoughts to wander and contemplate the meaning of life’s difficult decisions regarding impossible situations. Much like this one. “I love you too, Ry.”

“I’ll come home as soon as I can.” He stated, shoulder pressing the receiver against his ear as his strong hands began to shuffle the paperwork on his desk. In a frenzied attempt at recovering some sort of self-worth, Ryan gathered everything in a chaotic pile. He had to devise some sort of plan at recovering the night. “Alright.” Blake nodded, blonde fringe falling into her saddened emerald eyes on the other end. “I’ll see you later.”

“Can you make plans with one of the girls?” He suggested, hoping for some sort of companionship for his girlfriend. “Maybe Taylor can keep you company until I get home. Jared is looking at an all-nighter.”

“Really?” The young woman groaned in response. A part of her heart ached at the information given. Blake knew without a doubt the pain so many lonely nights can inflict. “I’ll go check up on her. Looks like a girls’ night in.”

“I have to go, babe.” Ryan mumbled absentmindedly, a series of loud voices earning his attention. Multiple uniforms whizzing by in a blur passed his office windows. “Something’s going on.”

“Go catch some bad guys, Superman.” A chuckle rumbled within Ryan’s muscular chest as a handsome grin graced his lips. A nickname she’d given him during his Academy days. “Be careful.”

“Always.” He replied, murmuring a soothing goodbye before hanging up.

Heavy footsteps echoed through the empty hall, Ryan’s steel-toed boots meeting the marble ground as he jogged toward the commotion. A series of loud male voices filled the station hallways. As he approached the police station lobby he noticed his baby brother, Jared. The young man’s long arms waving in the air madly. Fury clearly burning within his hazel blue eyes. Shaggy chestnut hair shaking from side to side as he jerked his head angrily. The younger Parker son’s six foot three inch muscular frame towered over another police officer; clearly the two were in a heated argument of sorts.

“You son of a bitch!” Jared’s deep voice boomed angrily. “You owe us this! We saved your pathetic ass more times than I can count. You have no right to pull the book out on this one.”

“Look, I’m sorry okay but I won’t do it.” A male voice replied in a frustrated tone through gritted teeth. “It’s nothing personal.”

“You’re a piece of shit, Berry.” Ah, Jason Berry, Ryan thought as he attempted to shove his way through the growing crowd of fellow curious police officers. He had to reach his brother before things escalated to the point of no return. “We stepped down, and let you take your worthless brother’s case. The least you could do is take yourself off this case and let us handle it.”

“Watch it, man.” Jason replied, dark chocolate eyes burning sharply. “I understand you’re mad but do you realize what kind of case this is? It can make or break a reputation and quite frankly, I don’t think you’re of… sound mind to take the appropriate actions.” The two men stood toe to toe, glaring at each other, an obvious mental battle underway.

“Jay, what’s going on?” Ryan furrowed his light eyebrows together, looking up at his brother curiously.

“They’re re-opening dad’s case.” Jared replied, expression softening the slightest as he glanced at his brother. “There’s a new witness. Someone set him up, Ryan.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” The younger sibling shook his head, strong fingers combing through his shaggy dark chestnut hair.

“Captain put Berry and Stevens on it.” He glowered, peering down at Jason’s smaller frame. “They have a chance to back down and forfeit the case to us, but they both have to agree. Aiden already did but Jason refuses to. He said it’s a conflict of interest. We have personal ties to the case.”

Ryan placed his strong hands on his hips, contemplating the only two options he saw in the situation. He could let it go or he could convince Jason Berry to step down and allow them to take over. He would go about it a lot more quietly than his brother had, of course. The tense silence held everyone’s suspense on edge. The detective held his strong hand in the air, motioning for his younger brother to back away from their colleague. “Let it go, Jay.” There was a sympathetic pleading buried in his demanding tone. Ryan knew no good would come of this. Ignoring the tightening within his chest, the elder Parker sibling beckoned his younger brother to his side. He hated himself for walking away from the opportunity but if he really wanted this, and he did, Ryan would have to form a plan on how to put the heat on Jason. There was no denying he would love nothing more than to grab Jason Berry by the collar and demand every shred of evidence be placed neatly on his mahogany desk by the count of five. Yet, in reality, there was no way of such an occurrence taking place without Jason shutting the idea out completely out of pure bitterness.

Jared huffed irritably, shaggy dark chestnut hair falling in his angered hazel blue eyes. A nagging annoyance overwhelmed his better judgment as he glared furiously at his older brother. This was it, their chance to find out the truth behind their father’s death and he was all too willing to let it slip through his fingertips. A fury of mixed emotions tore through the muscle within his chest like a chaotic tornado leaving nothing but barren foundation behind. Jared took his full bottom lip between his straight white teeth, hazel blue eyes darkening as he glanced distractedly at the crowd of curious onlookers. He caused a scene. He knew he had by the hushed whispers being shared between coworkers. It wasn’t the first time and it sure as hell wouldn’t be the last.

“Jay.” Ryan stated earning the younger man’s attention. “C’mon.”

“No.” Jared replied, voice hoarse from the resonant demur from moments ago. Suddenly the younger Parker’s entire demeanor digressed to that of a scolded child rebelling. Averting his gaze, Jared focused on the fresh wound upon his right hand knuckles. An intricate blood stain neatly imprinted on the medical gauze wrapped around his strong fingers. “You’re wrong about this Ryan.” Lifting his head, Jared watched his older brother with caution through his dark chestnut hair. Hazel blue orbs full of sadness. No one other than Ryan noticed the film of tears build within his baby brother’s eyes. Just like that, Ryan felt his own ocean blue eyes soften as he released a heavy sigh. “We have to do this.”

“Let me talk to you.” Ryan sighed, strong hand reaching out to his brother as he motioned for the younger man. “In my office.”

“I am sorry, Ryan.” Jason Berry stated halfheartedly. A part of him felt genuine guilt for refusing the siblings this closure yet his great dislike for the youngest Parker overruled the guilt. Ryan nodded in acknowledgement, balling his strong hands in fists. As his knuckles turned white from the great deal of pressure, he mumbled an incoherent profanity under his breath as he followed his younger kin to his office.

Jason Berry’s dark chocolate eyes shifted from side to side, watching as the crowd began to dissipate in different directions. Incoherent whispers of disappointment for the lack of physical violence. Digging within his uniform pants, Jason held down a number on the keypad of his cell phone. Speed dial was genius. Glancing around nervously, the officer held the cellphone to his ear waiting for a reply. By the third ring someone answered.

“Did you get it?” A deep raspy voice questioned expectantly.

“Yeah.” He replied digging within his pocket for the squad car keys as he approached the station exit. “I am on my way.”

“Did you have any trouble?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“What’s his name?”

“Jared Parker. It’s his son.” Jason replied hesitantly. “I can handle him, really.”

“I’ll have someone watch him. He won’t be a problem. Just do your job.”

“You won’t hurt him, will you?” Jason questioned nervously. Despite the mutual dislike between the two young men, Jason would never wish him harm. “He’s not a threat.”

“Don’t you worry about that.” The deep voice replied, a sadistic sort of satisfaction creeping into his tone. “We’ve got it covered.”

“Okay.” Jason replied, dark chocolate orbs instinctively glancing over his shoulder. As he glanced up at the police station sign, an immense guilt settled within his stomach as he contemplated the youngest Parker sibling’s fate. “I’ll be there in five, Randy.” With that, Jason hung up and released a heavy sigh. He couldn’t think of what would or would not happen. There was nothing he could do. Once Randy Panici had his venomous grey eyes set on someone, there was no turning back.