Chasing Dreams

Taj and I are thirteen at Whangamata for a holiday, we don’t move to Hawaii until his dad leaves him. It’s a beautiful Saturday evening and the sun is ready to set, it’s been flat all day, so Taj decided to follow the horizon, I tagged along. He is out ahead of me.
‘Taj’ I call, but he keeps paddling, ‘Taj, wait up’ I call again.
‘Come on, Granny’ he calls back and keeps moving. He’s male and stronger, like I can keep up with him, sometimes I just want to smack him round the head – he can be such a bastard sometimes, even at this age. He stops paddling and sits up, I finally join him.
‘Took your time’ he says, I just throw him a look and wonder what’s going through his head, and it’s not long before I found out, ‘We should paddle forever’ he says. I study his face and he’s got his cocky “I’m too big for the world” smile plastered across his face, he also thinks that the world is just his backyard.
‘Taj, you know I can’t do that’ I reply, thinking of Dodge. He just looks down at his board, and then looks at me with his gorgeous bright blue eyes, a few strands if his hair fall over his eyes. His hair goes down just past his ears, its brown, but he’s bleached it blonde.
‘You know I love you right’ he says, I look away from his gaze.
‘Yeah,’ I sigh ‘Yeah I know’ I say. Then I lie on my board and start to paddle in.
‘Where you going?’ he asks.
‘Shore’ I reply with a big grin ‘You can keep up’
‘But your faster’ he says and follows me, trying to catch up. And he’s right, I am faster but he’s still stronger.

I suddenly awake, I sit up, puffing, and look around my room with blood-shot eyes with a mad as hang-over. The early morning sun greets me through my open curtains, I look at the clock beside my bed, 5:30, it reads, ugh, I drop back to my pillows hen kick off my blankets and roll out of the comfort of my bed. After pulling my togs and grabbing my board I head down to the beach. My house is right on the sand, so I just need to step out the back door and I’m at the beach, Banzai Pipeline is my backyard and even after living here for only a few years I’ve seen Pipe on good days, on bad days and on a complete death rampage, it’s great though, being this close to Pipe I mean, because I can just sit in my room or on the back deck and watch pipe crash down.

I stood on the beach hoping watch pipe crash down under the morning sun, but was I disappointed. Its mid-winter and all the joys of living in Hawaii is that most of the time the weather is just the same as summer and Pipe is bigger and badder than in the summertime.

Pipeline has a huge spray, it’s a wicked sight to watch, totally amazing, Taj and I would come out here at night when the sun was sitting and sit on the beach and just watch the sets roll in and mesmerised by the sight but now I look at it with a different view, as my best friends grave. Pipe has scared the shit out of me, but now it scares me even more.
I come back to reality and take in the sights in front of me. Flat. Of course it’s flat just on the morning when I could have used rush I got from surfing this best the most, it’s completely and utterly flat, about the only time Pipe is ever safe, I groan and head for the sandbar.
If Taj can be killed on one of the deadliest waves in the world, what’s to say that I won't have the same watery end? But I’ve been lucky with Pipe, haven’t had a brush with death here, yet I have everywhere else, but not there. Taj was the one who never had a brush with death anywhere, until this beast brought him down and send him to an early, but watery grave.
I stand; looking at the sand bar, it’s completely flat too! Oh my god, what’s wrong with this place. It’s nothing worth surfing this morning and only a couple of drop-kick, try-hards who think they’re the shit sitting out in deep water with short boards and waves that even people on a long board would have a hard time surfing.

When I reach home I creep into to find Dodge is still sleeping. I tip-toe into my room; grab a singlet and some money and head for the town, by the time I get there it’s around 6:30 and my stomach growling to be fed, I find a café that opens early and order an iced coffee. Sitting at a table outside and I decide I need to get my life into some sort of an order and figure out where I’m headed. I’m twenty-one and living with my cousin in some house I could never afford on my own, I make surfboards for a living, which doesn’t bring in great amounts of money, but I’ve been saving since before I moved here, plus money I’d been receiving after my parents died. I remember Taj going on one day about how we should surf the planet and travel to the well known places and hope to discover something new and name it ourselves.

It’s the start of summer, 2003. Pipe is going off, Taj and I sit on the beach and watch Pipeline. We’ve been surfing since 6:30 and its now 11:45. We’re nineteen and we both work in a shop making surf boards, so we can save money.
"You know what we should do Chase" Taj says
"What?" I ask
"Take a surf trip around the world" he smiles, “We’ve both been saving money and we know how to find plenty of decent breaks” I nod in agreement.
We head back up to the house and begin listing off every surf spot and it’s location that we can think of and it’s a huge list.

I walk home, enjoying the fresh ocean breeze. It doesn't get better than this for me some days, if only I had my best friend beside me to share it with, even though we'd done this a million times before, I don't think it'll ever get old and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

I walk in the back door, sneak into my room and kick my jandals off, catching a glimpses of the list in the corner of my eyes, I sigh with a heavy heart and walk to the kitchen to find Dodge sitting at the table with his head on it and a coffee in his hand. I pull a chair out from the table not expecting it to make as much noise as it does and sit down, Dodge jumps as though he's had the shit scared out of him, I laugh and rest an elbow on the table, my chin resting in that palm and the other arm flat across the wooden surface.
"Shit Chase. You scared me" he said still a bit shaking then sipping this coffee.
"I can tell" I continue laughing and wonder what Taj would have said if he’d been here, then remembered Dodge and I probably wouldn’t be sitting here if Taj was still alive.
"Dream of him again?" Dodge asks. I nod in reply.
"What of this time?"
"We were in Whangamata. Taj wanted to paddle forever." a sad smile creeps across my face as I reminisce on that memory of him and avoid crying, which I still haven’t done.
"So what are you going to do now?" Dodge asks with a sigh.
"I don't know, maybe I'll finally do what Taj and I always wanted too” I reply and look out the kitchen window, Pipe is still as flat as a pancake.
“Surf the world” Dodge say’s.
I nod and turn back to face him “I think he'd be happy for me if I did that. Even though we had planned to do it together," I sigh heavily.
"Where to first then?"
"Home, I think. I am missing Raglan so." I told him and watched his eyes grow sad. Dodge sighs and looks out the window, I knew he was missing home too and as much as he didn't want me to leave him here alone he knew I had to do this that I needed to do it and that it was probably the only way I was ever going to get some sort of closure.

The next day I was on a plane home, New Zealand. I hadn't lived there since I was sixteen. Five years ago and so much has happened since then. I still call it my home though, it will always be home to me. As usual, I fell into a dream on the plane.

"Lauran? Lauran, what's wrong?" Taj asks.
"Nothing" I reply as he sits in the sand beside me.
"Come on Chase, I know you better than that. What's up?" He asks again with a cheeky smile, he knew he’d get it out of me one way or another, he always did.
We are eighteen and I have just been dumped and Taj is right, as usual, we know each other far too well and we have known each other too long to keep secrets.
"He dumped you didn't he?" He asks.
"Don't go there Taj, please don't" I beg him.
"That bastard!" He sneered, "I told you Lauran, I told you he was an arse." He was real pissed, I’ve seen him in just about every type of mood but never this fucked off before.
"I know!" I snap, and turn to glare at him "I know. I don't need the 'I told you so' speech; I've heard it a thousand times"
"Maybe you'll listen this time" Taj mutters bitterly then sighs.
"If there is a next time" I reply and look up to the darkening coastal sky.
"There will be," He says putting his arm around me, "Let's get a drink"

We walk down to the local bar, where I hope it drink away my memories of my ex. I know it'll be twice as bad tomorrow, but at least I can spend the night having fun with my best mate. We order drink after drink and then finally decide to leave when the bar is about to close. I'm way more drunk than Taj, but he's not far behind. We walk home drunkenly singing and dancing in the street.

We make it home safely. Even when we're drunk I know Taj won't let anything happen to me. Stumbling through the door we hope not to wake Dodge and head out the back to sit on the beach listening to the waves and watching the moonlight. Taj moves closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and using my shoulder as a pillow.

"I love you Lauran" He says. Neither of us are sober, so it doesn't mean much plus he's always had his bitches and he say’s it all the time.
"I know Taj" I reply and place my arms around him pulling him closer for the warmth. For all the times I've wanted to beat the crap out of him, I don't feel the need anymore, it’s moments like this that remind me why he’s my best friend and why he means so much to me. It’s just too bad that the feeling never lasts. I wake in the next morning on the couch; Taj is still snoozing on the floor. I have the worst hang over.