Save Me One Last Time

He did it. He popped the question. The question he had waited all his life to ask. The question Abby had waited all her life to hear. It almost felt like a dream to her. Was he really proposing to her? It seemed unreal. Jimmy, he was the one. She knew it then and she knew it now. There was no more denying it. And most of all he loved her just as much as she loved him. It was no longer unrequited. It was here, right in front of her.

And yet she couldn’t bring herself to say yes. This was all Abby had ever wanted. Jimmy, the one she had been dreaming off since she was a naive girl in high school. Jimmy was everything to her. He always had been and always would be.

But Jimmy was asking forever. That was the only thing Abby couldn’t give him. Was it fair to marry him, knowing she had cancer? Knowing her time was limited?

Jimmy couldn’t believe how easily the words came to him. He never had a problem expressing how he was feeling. He always was able to tell it just how it was. Until recently. Since Abby came back into his life, nothing was the same. He couldn’t even tell you his favorite color without over thinking it. He had the hardest time figuring out his feelings. They were so jumbled he couldn’t stand it. Only he was able to ask her. He didn’t have to think about it. For once in his life it just felt right.

Abby looked in his eyes. She could see the love he had for her. She knew it was real. She knew he wasn’t going anywhere. And at first she was happy. She found the man she had been looking for her whole life. But then a sadness grew over her. She wanted to be with Jimmy. But she couldn’t bare to lose him.

-Flashback-

“Jimmy I need to talk to you…”

Jimmy was talking to his friends. “What about?”

“I need to talk to you…”

“About you?”

“Yeah…”

“Talk to me” Jimmy said.

“I can’t.” They were in lunch. The table was crowded. And Abby knew everyone would either be listening. Or they would be calling Jimmy ever two seconds. This couldn’t be interrupted. She needed her answer, After about five minutes of them going back and forth between Abby saying she couldn’t talk to him there and Jimmy saying just talk to me, Jimmy suggested moving to another table.

“Okay. First you have to promise me no matter what I say it isn’t going to change anything between you and me!” Abby told him.

“I lay my heart out on the table.”

“Okay… Um…. Well… Okay. I’m going to tell you something that you already know so you can tell me the answer that I know you’re going to say.”

Jimmy looked at her in confusion. “Ok?”

“Ummm…. Well…. See its just that…” Abby couldn’t find the words. She had dreamed about telling him so many times. But never thought she was actually going to do it. “Ok, you know I have feelings for you.”

Jimmy nodded. He knew. First of all he was Jimmy. Jimmy knew everything. And second of all Jimmy was Abby’s best friend. He knew her better then she knew herself.

“I need you to tell me that you don’t like me…” Abby explained.

“It doesn’t matter…”

“Because you don’t like me!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Jimmy told her.

“Because you don’t like me!” Abby said again.

“It doesn’t matter.” Jimmy said again.

“Yes it does.”

“Why?” Jimmy asked. Jimmy was the type of guy that no matter how many times you told him you liked him, he would never let anything change between you. He was an amazing friend. And he would never let Abby feel awkward around him.

“Because I can’t deal with these what ifs? Its driving me insane. Everyone is telling me they think you do, and I know you don’t. But I can’t stopping wondering. I need you to tell me you don’t.”

“Ok, Abby listen…” Jimmy took her hands. “You are my best friend. And we are going to stay best friends, and that’s all that we are going to be…”

Abby was crushed. She told herself all along that she knew Jimmy didn’t like her. But once he admitted it, it hurt a lot worse then she thought. But on the other hand she felt relieved. No more wondering. “Now was that so hard?!”

“But it doesn’t matter. Because I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be right here for you!”

-Flashback Ends-

Abby remembered that day. She remembered the feeling of him rejecting her. The feeling she had that she was just never going to get to call Jimmy hers. And she was going to pass that up? Jimmy was all she ever wanted. And she wasn’t going to let anything come in between them.

“Yes! Jimmy, yes I will marry you!”

Jimmy and Abby stood up holding hands. Abby threw her arms around Jimmy’s neck. He picked her up and spun her around.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that…”