Green Day, Why Are You In My Room?

I had been thinking of doing this for a while.

Ever since Matt had come back. Ever since I realised that I wasn't safer here with Tre than with anyone else.

I sat by the computer in Tre's living room, hoping desperately he wouldn't wake up. It was five in the morning...and still pitch black outside.

I quickly finished up and sighed. It was done. No turning back now. Unless I wanted to waste all that money I spent.

My heart pounded as I heard Tre's voice behind me.

"What are you doing?" Tre groaned, rubbing his tired face. His hair was tousled and his eyes half closed.

"Uh - nothing," I said quickly. I sounded - and felt - so guilty.

I got up after shutting the computer down. "I think I'll go back to bed," I said, a little too loudly. I yawned, hoping it sounded genuine. I was such an idiot.

Tre nodded and stood there while I headed upstairs. I got into bed and hoped for sleep to come. My mind swirled with the things I had just done...what it would do to Tre...

Tre's POV

I couldn't help it. I was really curious.

I waited until I heard Tash's door close. I sat down at the computer and started it up again.

I went and looked under history in the internet browser. My heart seemed to stop when I saw what she had been doing.

Under the list headed 'Today' was only one website name.

Qantas airlines.

She was leaving...leaving me...leaving her new life here -

I felt like breaking down in tears. I shut down the computer in shock before going to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. I sat down at the polished table, holding my hands around the steaming coffee mug. I ignored the increasing pain. Everything felt distant.

Everything we had had together must have vanished in her mind.

She didn't love me enough to stay.

But maybe she wanted me to come?

I closed my eyes and silently groaned. It was a raging battle going inside my head.

I had never been so in love before. Not with any previous wife, girlfriend - I had said those exact words to Tash only a few nights ago.

And they must have meant nothing. Those exact words must have just gone through one ear and out the other....

I stood up and went outside into the cool night air. Yeah, I would take a walk. Clear my head. Light a cigarette for the first time in a while.

Anything to make me feel better. Anything to take the loneliness creeping in, anything to make me forget of every romantic gesture I had used with her...anything to make me realise she didn't love me as much as I loved her.

Anything.