In Joy and Sorrow

June:

So, Bam had been arrested and I had dragged my ass out of bed to go and get him. I left for home before he had even woken up the next morning and grabbed a cup of coffee from Ape explaning quickly the story from the night before.

And then it was back to the way it was before. I was still working to completely ignore Bam. But as hard as I tried, I finally came to terms with the fact I would never be able to push him out of my life completely. He was always going to be there.

'Hello?' I asked grabbing my phone as it vibrated in front of me displaying a picture of Ryan Dunn and the name DUNN.

'Hey Ri Guy!' He said as chipper as ever. 'It's been what? Two months since I saw you? How the fuck are ya?'

'I'm fine Ryan. How are you?' I asked smiling.

'All right. So whatcha doin?' He asked.

'Homework.' I said sighing.

'Good.' He said. 'How is school?'

'Good. It's almost over. Dunn is there an actual point to this conversation or did you just call to make sure everything was all right?' I asked with a chuckle tucking a fallen piece of hair behind my ear.

He sighed heavily. 'Ri, there is something I have to tell you. I don't want to, but I have to before the tabloids have a feild day.'

'What's up?' I asked getting slightly nervous.

'Bam and Jenn are engaged.'

'What?' I asked. My stomach felt as though it had just fallen off a fifty foot building.

'He proposed last night at her birthday.' Dunn sighed again.

'Wow.' I said not really knowing what to say.

'You okay?' He asked.

'Yeah.' I said shrugging. 'I mean, it was gonna happen right. They are childhood sweethearts.'

'I guess.' Dunn said. 'I just thought you would have changed it. But he was a dumbass and fucked up with you.'

'Ryan, look at this way. If Bam and I are meant to be together, we'll end up together eventually.' I said trying to convince myself more than him.

'I guess so.' He said.

'I gotta go. But thanks for telling me. I'm glad it was you.' I said.

'Okay Ri. You ever need to talk, call me.'

'Thanks Dunny.' I said with a smile. 'Bye.'

'Bye.'

It hit me then, the man I was head over heels in love with was now officially getting married to a girl I absolutely hate. I finally would be able to get what I wanted.

Goodbye to even a simple friendship with Bam.

One week later I was beginning to feel better about the whole thing. It was all over celebrity news though.

The phone rang one day about two weeks after the engagement, at Chanel. I happened to be helping Britney Spears pick out pumps for an award show she had to go to.

If only Drew could see me now...

'I really like these.' She said pulling out a pair of black peep toes.

'I know those are so cute. I actually have a pair. They're really comfortable.' I said smiling at her.

'Do you have them in size 8?' She asked.

'Let me go look out back.' I smiled one last time before turning and making my way towards the counter.

'Ri!' Allie called as I walked by her. 'Phone line 1.'

'I'm busy. Celebrity client. Who is it?' I asked stepping into the back room.

I found the box of shoes I was looking for and opened to make sure both were in there. Then I shut it and made my way back towards the Pop Princess.

'It's Bam!' Allie shouted.

'Tell him I'll call him back.' I said. 'Here you go Britney.'

'Thanks!' She said smiling and taking a seat to try them on.

'Ri!' Allie called making me turn and glare. 'He says it's important.'

Sighing loudly I turned to Britney. 'Do you mind if I go take a quick phone call?'

'Not at all!' She said. 'I was just about to look around a bit more.'

'Thank you. I'll be back in like five minutes.' I turned and made my way back behind the counter and grabbed the phone. I hit the line one button.

'Hello, Chanel. This is Rian speaking. How can I help you?' I said.

'Ri, it's Bam. Cut the Chanel shit.' He said.

'Bam I'm at work.' I said rolling my eyes.

'No shit.'

'Look, we're really busy today. And I can't sit here on the phone.'

'Did you hear--?'

'Yeah...' I said cuting him off. 'Congragulations.'

'Thanks.' He said. 'Look, my movie, Haggard, is premiering Friday. So I was inviting you down to come see it.'

'I have to work.' I lied.

'How late?' He asked.

'9. I'm closing.' I said.

'What's your problem?' He asked. 'You act like you fucking hate me all the sudden.'

'Bam. How is this friendship going to work with her around?' I asked.

'Easy. She's not going to tell me what to do.' He said getting angry now. 'Is that what your problem is, I'm engaged?'

'Yes Bam!' I said feeling the tears spring to my eyes not caring anymore. 'She is my fucking problem! I can not fucking believe you even want to marry that slut! I hope she cheats on you more than she already does!'

I slammed the phone down, wiping the tears from under my eyes.

'If he calls back.' I said to Allie sniffling still. 'Tell him I'm fucking done.'

She nodded and I made my pathetic ass head back towards Britney.

'So, did you find everything?' I asked wiping my eyes and nose on a tissue.

'Oh, hey. Y'all alright?' She asked noticing I was crying.

'Not really.' I said.

'What's up?' She asked.

'You don't want hear my problems.' I said shaking my head.

'Hey helped me pick out cute shoes, girl. Let's hear 'em.'

'It's just my ex.' I said.

'Is an ass?' She asked.

I nodded. 'He's getting married.'

'And you still love him?' She asked.

I nodded trying to hold back the fresh tears.

'Hey now. You're a beautiful girl. You got great taste in clothes. And I'm sure you'll find a better guy than that jackass.' She smiled.

I smiled with her and laughed a bit at her choice of words.