In Joy and Sorrow

May:

'Thank fucking God!' I said walking into the hotel. Chris laughed at me as we all piled into the elevator.

'Okay, so the Gumball guys should be here tomorrow morning.' Jeff said looking down at his phone. 'And then we have a lot of work to do.'

The next day I walked down to the lobby to find a mob outside.

'Rian!' I heard Dunn say.

'Dunn!' I said running over and hugging him.

'How was India?' He asked.

'Rian loved it.' Chris said laughing.

'Fuck you, Chris. It was horrible. Where's Bam? I need to talk to him?' I asked heading outside with Dunn on my heels.

'I think he's in Hawk's car.' Dunn said trailing off.

I neared car in front of the purple Lamborghini and saw Bam in the backseat with some girl drapped around his neck and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

'Who the fuck is that?' I asked Dunn.

'Missy Rothstein.' Dunn said in shock. 'What the fuck is she doing here?'

'Who is she?' I asked.

'She's been in love with Bam since middle school. He used to cheat on Jenn with her when he wasn't cheating on her with you.'

'Nice.' I said. I decided I wanted to say hi to Tony, Mike, and Rooftop who were all in the car as well.

'Mike!' I said walking over to his open window and giving him a hug.

'Hey Rian.' He said. 'How are you.'

'I'm really good.' I said smiling and hugging Rooftop and then Tony. After chatting with them for a bit, my phone started going off and I looked down to see Jeff was calling. 'I'm being paged back to work. It was good to see all of you.' I said.

I walked inside to find Jeff asking for me to call Paramount and make sure we had the studio ready for filming the openings tomorrow.

That night, I decided to go down to the lobby bar with Steve-O and Dunn where sure enough Bam and Missy were.

'Let's sit with them.' I said smiling and walking over to their spot at the bar. 'Hi.' I said as Bam looked with wide eyes. 'I'm Rian, Bam's ex.' I said leaning over Bam to shake Missy's hand and making sure I put emphasis on the ex.

'Hi, I'm Bam's girlfriend, Missy.' She said.

'Girlfriend.' I said raising my eyebrows. 'I hope he makes you very happy.'

I ordered a Cosmo and ignored Bam the rest of the night.

As usual, I threw myself into my work. Bam had obviously forgotten about me, so I was definatly forgetting him.

I was onset everyday and being as professional as possible. Of course, anywhere Bam went, Missy went too. One day, I was working at the office trying to type things up for Jeff and help Wolfy get something ready. Bam had left Missy there while he went to film the opening scene with the bulls.

'Can I help?' Missy asked.

'I'm a little busy.' I said trying to get them done so I could head out to the set.

'Please?' She asked. Jeff had just walked in with the guys when I snapped.

'Missy, this is my job, not yours. You've already taken one thing from me.' I grabbed my Birkin and headed for the hotel.

'You won't have to worry about Missy on set,' Jeff said to me the next morning. 'I asked all the guys to keep guests off set from now on.'

I smiled my thanks.

I called April and my sister and asked if they could get my stuff out of Bam's so I wouldn't have to worry about it when I got back. They both agreed and brought it all up to Drea's where I was going to be living when I got back.

There was a knock on my door after I hung up and I made my way over to find Ville Valo.

'Ville!' I screamed throwing my arms around his neck and giving him a big hug.

'Hello, Love.'

'What are you doing here?' I asked.

'Honestly? Hiding from that awful hag, Missy.' Ville said smiling. 'And a little birdie told me I could find refuge here.'

I started laughing and let him into my room. 'I meant what are you doing in L.A.?'

'Recording our new album. It's called Dark Light. Bam invited us over and when I saw he was with Missy, I had to find you.'

'You don't know what I've been through...' I said sitting on the bed next to him.

'Well, tell me about it, Love.'

I broke into the story starting with the Vicodin and ending with the current situation.

'He's an asshole anyway.' Ville said. 'But I understand you love him.'

I nodded.

'Well, on the bright side,' He said checking his phone. 'There's a party in Johnny's suite and Kat's just arrived.'

'Kat's here?' I asked.

'Yeah. Bam wants a new tattoo.' Ville said holding the door open for me as we walked up to Johnny's room. Kat had me in a hug as soon as I was through the door.

'Kat!' I said hugging her.

'How are you?' She asked.

'I'm really good.' I said.

'Who is that?' She asked nodding in Missy's direction.

'Long story.' I said making her nod.

Soon L.A. was over and Missy was heading back to West Chester. We boarded the plane early to fly to New Orleans and as soon as we got there, we headed straight to a bar.

'Ri, you have to drink.' Bam said sliding into the large booth next to me.

'Excuse me?' I said looking at him. He hadn't said a word to me since the fight in Bull Shoals.

'You're drinking tonight with us.' He said again ordering me a drink when the waitress came.

'What if I don't want to drink?'

'Too bad.' He said.

I rolled my eyes but drank when the drinks came. We all ended up getting wasted. I had fun, but once we got to the hotel, I went straight to bed while a few others stayed up.

Jeff and I were up and on location bright and early while most of the guys lagged behind with hangovers. The red Explorer soon pulled up with Bam, Steve-O, and Dunn in the back. Bam almost fell out and looked at Trip and said, 'Trip, I forgot to go to bed last night.'

'What do you mean?' Trip asked laughing.

'Well, it's the drinking capital of the world, and I forgot to go to bed.' Bam slurred.

'Little does he know the hell he's going though today.' Trip whispered in my ear once Bam had stumbled away.

It was true. Most of the footage planned was tourturing Bam. Right off the bat they dressed him up in overalls and some how managed to get him to take a bite of horse shit which made him throw up. Then he had to do the obsticle course. I was amazed when he won it. Then he ate a fly. The worst part of his day had to have been when they put the snake in the horse trailor and made him cry. But I laughed my ass off when Johnny caught him falling in the hole that someone had dug by the vans.

We had the next few days off, so I decided to pamper myself. I took a long bubble bath and curled up with a good book. Until a knock came on my door.

I sighed heavily and got up opening the door to find Bam.

'Hi.' He said.

'Hi.' I said.

'Can I come in? So we can talk?' He asked.

'I guess...' I said letting him in and shutting the door behind me.

'What are you reading?' He asked. 'Devil Wears Prada? Haven't you read that a million times?' He smirked at me.

'It's one of my favorites.' I said sitting down on my bed.

'What's it even about?' He asked.

'Bam,' I asked. 'Did you come here to talk about books?'

'No.' He said sighing and sitting next to me. 'I came here to tell you the truth. I hooked up with Missy while you were in India.'

'Really?' I asked in mock surprise. 'I had no idea asshole!'

'I'm trying to be serious.' He said.

'Bam, tell me something that you haven't flaunted for the last three weeks.' I said.

'Look, Ri. I really think we should break up for good. I mean we're better off as friends. Don't you agree?'

I didn't look at him. I couldn't. Every inch of my body was screaming for me to say, 'No! I love you! I want to be with you Bam! Not your friend!' But the words that tummbled out were, 'Sure. I agree. I mean who were we kidding, dating...'

'So you understand?' He said standing up happily.

'Yeah. I understand completely.' I said.

'Good! Oh Ri! You are going to love Missy. She loves shopping, like you. And you have a lot of the same taste. I've knon her since middle school.' He explained quickly.

'You're made for each other then.' I said smiling.

'Yeah. I gotta go call her. Thanks for understanding. You're my best friend Ri.' He gave me a big hug and then ran out of the room.

'Best friends.' I said forcing a smile on my face and letting the tears roll down my cheeks.

I figured friends with Bam would be better than life without Bam. But I would soon find out I couldn't do either.