Sequel: Please Don't Let it Go ›
Status: Finished.
In Joy and Sorrow
2007 - February
February:
'Do I look okay?' I asked coming out of my room to show off my outfit to Drea, Drew, and Lexi.
'Where'd you get that?' Drew said jumping up to look at my dress.
'eluxury.com.' I said. 'How do I look?'
'So good.' Drew said. Drea and Lexi nodded.
I went to the full length mirror and ran my hands over my cement colored Tracy Reese strapless peplum dress.
'Okay, I gotta go.' I said running over to the closet and grabbing my black Marc by Marc Jacobs poplin trench coat and slipping my feet into Dior patent leather, t-strap, peeptoe platforms. I threw my phone, eyeliner, lipgloss, and mascara into my violet Marc by Marc Jacobs classic q wristlet and headed out to my car.
I drove as fast as I could to Philadelphia and arrived early. I walked into the hotel and towards the sign that said Margera/Rothstein.
'Could I have your name please?' The man by the sign said.
'Rian Lightman.' I said. He looked down at his clipboard and checked it off letting me through.
'Rian!' April said running over and hugging me. 'You look so pretty.'
'Thank Ape. So do you.' I said smiling.
'Bam wanted me to tell you to go see him in his room when you got here.' She whispered in my ear.
'What number?'
'413.' She said. I nodded and headed for the elevators and up to his room. I knocked on the door and Dunn opened.
'Hello.' He said smiling and pulling me in for a hug.
'Hey.' I said. 'Where's Bam?'
'In here. Come in.' He let me in and shut the door behind him.
'Novak!' I said seeing him in a wheelchair. 'What the fuck happened to you?'
'I broke both my legs, Babe.' He said smirking. I leaned down and gave him a hug.
'How?'
'Bam's new ramp.'
'It was my fault.' Bam said coming out of the bathroom. 'I made him. You look really pretty, Ri.'
'Thanks.' I said walking over and giving him a big hug.
'Look what I got last night.' He said lifting his shirt to show me his nipple.
'Sigillum Diaboli?' I asked reading the new ink on his chest. 'You know what that means right?'
'It's my favorite HIM song, that's what it means.' Bam said. 'You like it? Kat did it.'
'I like it a lot. It's a pretty font.' I said smiling. 'You nervous?'
'No.' He said laughing. 'I had a shot of Jim Beam with Chad and Jess.'
'Nice.' I said laughing. A camera crew came in through the door.
'I gotta film.' He said.
'Okay. I'm gonna go downstairs.' I said. 'Give me a hug.' I wrapped my arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I made my way downstairs after that and into the ceremony room. I took my seat next to Kelly and Ava.
'How are you?' Kelly asked.
'I'm so good. How are you?' I asked looking down into her arms and seeing her and Jess's new baby. 'Who's this?'
'Scarlett.' She said smiling.
'Kelly, she's so cute!' I said.
'Thanks.' She said smiling.
Bam soon came out and stood near the alter with his purple jacket and matching purple highlgihts. I giggled a little bit as the ceremony started and the bridal party began walking down the asile. Bam stood with a smirk on his face, looking out at the crowd.
Soon, Missy was walking down the asile. I couldn't look after that. The tears started falling as soon as I knew they were standing there together.
I sat through it and once it was over ran straight to the bathroom to quit my crying and fix my makeup.
At the reception I sat at a table with the Jackass guys during dinner. We talked and laughed adn they brought up my spirits. Jeff filled me in on how the editing was coming and I couldn't believe how quickly they were getting the movie put together.
I hung out with Ava after that. She was absolutly adorable. She was telling me all about Scarlett and how much she loved to dance which she made me do with her.
'Ava...' Bam said running over to us and spinning her around. 'Mind if I steal Rian from you?'
'Auntie Rian.' Ava corrected him.
'Right. Auntie Rian. Can I dance with her?' He asked.
'Uh huh.' Ava said running towards Kelly and April.
'You're going to dance?' I asked laughing as he came closer to me and put his hands on my hips.
'No, I want to stand here in the middle of the dance floor.' Bam said making me laugh as I put my hands around his neck.
'Are you even going to dance with Missy?' I asked.
'No.' He said. The song that started up made me want to run from him in that instant. I knew what he was doing. He was telling me he still loved me.
We're drifting apart
But I want you to know
Wherever you are I belong
Love's singing our song
But we fail to sing along
Wherever you go I will follow
'Bam...' I said shaking my head.
'What? I can't chose a HIM song for us to dance to?' He asked smirking.
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
'You look really pretty tonight, Thumper.' He mumbled in my ear.
'Yeah and you look quite dashing youself.' I said smirking.
You try to be strong
But you're always so alone
Whatever I do I do it wrong
Death sings our song
And we eagerly sing along
Whatever you do I adore
I adore
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Oh no
'Don't let go of life
Let go of love
Let go of all we have...' I sang along with the song making him smirk and pull me closer.
'So don't let go of trust
Let go of lust
Let go of all we share
All we share...' Bam mumbled more than sang against my neck making me giggle.
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Hey my Darling
Please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Oh no
As the song came to an end, Bam grabbed my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then he turned and left leaving me. I felt something in my hand and looked down to find a tiny piece of paper. I opened it to find Bam's messy scroll on the inside.
Conference room across from the lobby bar in five.
Alone time with Bam sounded very apealing so I headed towards the lobby, not caring if someone saw me. I saw the lobby bar, and headed for the conference room that was across from the lobby bar.
I put my hand on the knob and as soon as I did the door flew open and a very familar body had mine pressed against the door. Bam's lips were on mine before I could say a word. The kiss was feverent yet passionate and minutes later I pulled away gasping for breath.
'Bam...' I moaned as he trailed kisses up and down my neck.
'Shut up.' He said kissing me on the lips again.
'Bam...' I said trying to clear my head so I could tell him what I was thinking. 'Stop. We can't.'
'Why?' He asked. His blue eyes were dark with lust as he stared into mine.
'You just got married.' I said.
'I love you though.' He said.
'Funny way of showing it.' I said.
'Look, I know I fucked up, bad. But, I do love you Rian.' He said.
'Then why did you marry Missy?' I asked.
'Because, I had to. We wouldn't have worked.' He said. 'Look, Rian, you're a gorgeous woman. But you and I want completely different things out of life. You have a career and you want kids and a family. I just want to skate and get drunk. I'm too immature for you Rian.'
Tears pricked my eyes and the only thought that ran through my head was how wrong he was. But I let him keep talking.
'Ri, you're going to meet a man who's going to sweep you off of your feet. He'll treat you a million times better than I ever could. You'll be happy together, get married, have kids, and grow old together. It'll be just like you always wanted. And see? You don't even need me in the picture.' He said.
I nodded my head even though in my head I was screaming no.
'I should start heading home...' I said akwardly.
'Why?' He asked.
'I need to get home for Valo.' I said.
He nodded his head.
'Goodbye kiss?' He asked.
I leaned in and gave him a mind shattering kiss before looking him in the eyes one last time and walking back into the ballroom where I grabbed my clutch and coat and then to the parking garage where I got in my car and cried my eyes out the whole way home.
'Do I look okay?' I asked coming out of my room to show off my outfit to Drea, Drew, and Lexi.
'Where'd you get that?' Drew said jumping up to look at my dress.
'eluxury.com.' I said. 'How do I look?'
'So good.' Drew said. Drea and Lexi nodded.
I went to the full length mirror and ran my hands over my cement colored Tracy Reese strapless peplum dress.
'Okay, I gotta go.' I said running over to the closet and grabbing my black Marc by Marc Jacobs poplin trench coat and slipping my feet into Dior patent leather, t-strap, peeptoe platforms. I threw my phone, eyeliner, lipgloss, and mascara into my violet Marc by Marc Jacobs classic q wristlet and headed out to my car.
I drove as fast as I could to Philadelphia and arrived early. I walked into the hotel and towards the sign that said Margera/Rothstein.
'Could I have your name please?' The man by the sign said.
'Rian Lightman.' I said. He looked down at his clipboard and checked it off letting me through.
'Rian!' April said running over and hugging me. 'You look so pretty.'
'Thank Ape. So do you.' I said smiling.
'Bam wanted me to tell you to go see him in his room when you got here.' She whispered in my ear.
'What number?'
'413.' She said. I nodded and headed for the elevators and up to his room. I knocked on the door and Dunn opened.
'Hello.' He said smiling and pulling me in for a hug.
'Hey.' I said. 'Where's Bam?'
'In here. Come in.' He let me in and shut the door behind him.
'Novak!' I said seeing him in a wheelchair. 'What the fuck happened to you?'
'I broke both my legs, Babe.' He said smirking. I leaned down and gave him a hug.
'How?'
'Bam's new ramp.'
'It was my fault.' Bam said coming out of the bathroom. 'I made him. You look really pretty, Ri.'
'Thanks.' I said walking over and giving him a big hug.
'Look what I got last night.' He said lifting his shirt to show me his nipple.
'Sigillum Diaboli?' I asked reading the new ink on his chest. 'You know what that means right?'
'It's my favorite HIM song, that's what it means.' Bam said. 'You like it? Kat did it.'
'I like it a lot. It's a pretty font.' I said smiling. 'You nervous?'
'No.' He said laughing. 'I had a shot of Jim Beam with Chad and Jess.'
'Nice.' I said laughing. A camera crew came in through the door.
'I gotta film.' He said.
'Okay. I'm gonna go downstairs.' I said. 'Give me a hug.' I wrapped my arms around him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
I made my way downstairs after that and into the ceremony room. I took my seat next to Kelly and Ava.
'How are you?' Kelly asked.
'I'm so good. How are you?' I asked looking down into her arms and seeing her and Jess's new baby. 'Who's this?'
'Scarlett.' She said smiling.
'Kelly, she's so cute!' I said.
'Thanks.' She said smiling.
Bam soon came out and stood near the alter with his purple jacket and matching purple highlgihts. I giggled a little bit as the ceremony started and the bridal party began walking down the asile. Bam stood with a smirk on his face, looking out at the crowd.
Soon, Missy was walking down the asile. I couldn't look after that. The tears started falling as soon as I knew they were standing there together.
I sat through it and once it was over ran straight to the bathroom to quit my crying and fix my makeup.
At the reception I sat at a table with the Jackass guys during dinner. We talked and laughed adn they brought up my spirits. Jeff filled me in on how the editing was coming and I couldn't believe how quickly they were getting the movie put together.
I hung out with Ava after that. She was absolutly adorable. She was telling me all about Scarlett and how much she loved to dance which she made me do with her.
'Ava...' Bam said running over to us and spinning her around. 'Mind if I steal Rian from you?'
'Auntie Rian.' Ava corrected him.
'Right. Auntie Rian. Can I dance with her?' He asked.
'Uh huh.' Ava said running towards Kelly and April.
'You're going to dance?' I asked laughing as he came closer to me and put his hands on my hips.
'No, I want to stand here in the middle of the dance floor.' Bam said making me laugh as I put my hands around his neck.
'Are you even going to dance with Missy?' I asked.
'No.' He said. The song that started up made me want to run from him in that instant. I knew what he was doing. He was telling me he still loved me.
We're drifting apart
But I want you to know
Wherever you are I belong
Love's singing our song
But we fail to sing along
Wherever you go I will follow
'Bam...' I said shaking my head.
'What? I can't chose a HIM song for us to dance to?' He asked smirking.
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
'You look really pretty tonight, Thumper.' He mumbled in my ear.
'Yeah and you look quite dashing youself.' I said smirking.
You try to be strong
But you're always so alone
Whatever I do I do it wrong
Death sings our song
And we eagerly sing along
Whatever you do I adore
I adore
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Oh no
'Don't let go of life
Let go of love
Let go of all we have...' I sang along with the song making him smirk and pull me closer.
'So don't let go of trust
Let go of lust
Let go of all we share
All we share...' Bam mumbled more than sang against my neck making me giggle.
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
So please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Hey my Darling
Please don’t let it
Please don’t let it go
Cause if you won’t let it I won’t let it go
Oh no
As the song came to an end, Bam grabbed my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then he turned and left leaving me. I felt something in my hand and looked down to find a tiny piece of paper. I opened it to find Bam's messy scroll on the inside.
Conference room across from the lobby bar in five.
Alone time with Bam sounded very apealing so I headed towards the lobby, not caring if someone saw me. I saw the lobby bar, and headed for the conference room that was across from the lobby bar.
I put my hand on the knob and as soon as I did the door flew open and a very familar body had mine pressed against the door. Bam's lips were on mine before I could say a word. The kiss was feverent yet passionate and minutes later I pulled away gasping for breath.
'Bam...' I moaned as he trailed kisses up and down my neck.
'Shut up.' He said kissing me on the lips again.
'Bam...' I said trying to clear my head so I could tell him what I was thinking. 'Stop. We can't.'
'Why?' He asked. His blue eyes were dark with lust as he stared into mine.
'You just got married.' I said.
'I love you though.' He said.
'Funny way of showing it.' I said.
'Look, I know I fucked up, bad. But, I do love you Rian.' He said.
'Then why did you marry Missy?' I asked.
'Because, I had to. We wouldn't have worked.' He said. 'Look, Rian, you're a gorgeous woman. But you and I want completely different things out of life. You have a career and you want kids and a family. I just want to skate and get drunk. I'm too immature for you Rian.'
Tears pricked my eyes and the only thought that ran through my head was how wrong he was. But I let him keep talking.
'Ri, you're going to meet a man who's going to sweep you off of your feet. He'll treat you a million times better than I ever could. You'll be happy together, get married, have kids, and grow old together. It'll be just like you always wanted. And see? You don't even need me in the picture.' He said.
I nodded my head even though in my head I was screaming no.
'I should start heading home...' I said akwardly.
'Why?' He asked.
'I need to get home for Valo.' I said.
He nodded his head.
'Goodbye kiss?' He asked.
I leaned in and gave him a mind shattering kiss before looking him in the eyes one last time and walking back into the ballroom where I grabbed my clutch and coat and then to the parking garage where I got in my car and cried my eyes out the whole way home.