In Joy and Sorrow

September:

'Rian!' Jeff said running up to me in the lobby of the London hotel we were all staying at. 'We need to be at the premire in two hours, and I can't find Bam, Novak, and Steve-O.'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'They were last seen in the lobby bar. Please find them.' He said running off after Knoxville.

'You've got to be fucking kidding me.' I mumbled going into the lobby to question the other guys if Bam, Novak, and Steve-O had mentioned running off anywhere. After turning up empty handed, I dialed each of their phones, which none of them answered. Had a maid break into their rooms which were all empty. And then ran out and asked the doorman if he knew anything.

'I'm looking for three guys.' I said. 'Uh, one has a beard and dark hair. Probably had a hat on and sunglasses. The other kinda looks like him and was probably dressed similar, and the thrid guy kinda looks like a clown.'

'Oh yes, those three.' He said nodding. 'They had drinks in hand?'

'Probably.' I said.

'Yes, three men got in a car not too long ago with cameras following them.' He said. 'They took a left.'

'Cameras?' I questioned before thanking the man and running off down the street and calling Jeff.

'Were they supposed to film something?' I asked Jeff when he answered.

'No. They were supposed to be here with everyone else.' Jeff said.

'Okay. I think I see them. Bye.' I hung up my phone and turned to see Steve-O walking up the street.

'Where's Bam?' I asked.

'I left him at the guys house.'

'What guy's house?' I asked.

'The guy that fucked with his Lambo.' Steve-O said stumbling by me and heading for the hotel.

I groaned audibly and tried to call Bam and Novak again.

'Fuck!' I screamed when neither of them answered. I was just about to give up when I heard Bam's laughter from down the street. 'Bam!' I said turning the corner and finding him finally.

He and Novak were covered head to toe in white paint and two cameras were following them.

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, promise you won't get mad?' Bam asked.

'I promise...' I said rolling my eyes.

'Look at this.' He said pulling out his phone and showing me a grainy video of the purple Lambo doing burnouts. 'This is the reason my entire Gumball trip was ruined.'

'What the fuck?' I said. 'Who did that?'

'The asshole who's car I just wrecked.' He said smirking.

'You wrecked his car?'

'He wrecked mine!'

'Well, why didn't you tell me? I would have helped you.' I said smiling.

'You're not mad?' He asked laughing.

'No! He deserved what he got!' I said.

He grabbed the camera and showed me the footage of him, Novak, and Steve-O throwing paint and smashing the windows out making me laugh.

'Alright, come on.' I said.

'Where we going?'

'To get that paint off your face so we can go to the premeire.' I said.

'Shit! I forgot!' Bam said laughing as I dragged him into the lobby bathroom.

'This is the men's room!' Bam said laughing.

'I don't care.' I said grabbing a piece of paper towel and wetting it. 'Come here.'

He stepped closer and I wiped the paint from the side of his face.

'We good?' He asked.

'No wait.' I said digging into my purse and grabbing my make up bag. I pulled out my eyeliner and said, 'Look up.'

He did as he was told and I outlined his eyes with black making them look like blue diamonds sitting in coal.

'There.' I said putting the cap on my eyeliner and placing it in my makeup bag and then back in my purse. 'Now we're good.'

'No.' He said looking me right in the eyes. He leaned forward and kissed me. 'Now we're good.'

Bam smirked at me while I stood there shocked that he had just kissed me. I did the first thing I could think of. I grabbed my bag, smacked him, and stormed out of the bathroom to find the guys standing and waiting for us.

'Rian, you just came out of the men's room...' Ehren said.

'Is there something you're not telling us?' Pontius asked smirking.

'I was helping Bam get paint off, idiot.' I said rolling my eyes and walking out before Bam came out of the bathroom.

I avoided Bam at the premiere. The movie was amazing. I couldn't believe how good it was.

As we all piled into the limo, I found myself sitting right next to Mr. Margera.

'Are you mad at me?' He asked as the music and conversation rose up around us.

'Don't talk to me.' I said.

'Rian...'

'Bam. I don't want to talk to you.' I said not looking at him.

As soon as we got back to the hotel I went right up to my room and locked myself in. After a bubble bath and a movie, I couldn't sleep and I wanted ice cream. So I grabbed my purse and made my way to the gift shop. I was in the middle of picking a flavor when I took out my phone and realized I had two new text messages. One was from Bam asking if I was mad, the other Drea asking if I was having fun.

I hit reply and typed out a message to Drea.

I was having fun until Bam went and kissed me. You know he doesn't realize how much I love him and can't get over him. Fuck him Drea. I can't stand him. He's a complete and total asshole. Drew was right. I should have never have even glanced at him. I don't know. I'll call you tomorrow.

I grabbed a flavor of ice cream and went to the register picking out a few candy bars and placing them on the counter. I walked out to the elevator and decided to reread the message I had just sent Drea. When I realized I had sent it to Bam on accident. Fear ran through my entire body as I prayed he was still sleeping and hadn't gotten that. Maybe I could sneak in his room in the morning and delete it. Or maybe Dunn was still up.

I got to our floor and made my way towards Bam, Dunn, and Novak's room. I knocked lightly on the door. I waited a bit and realized I was an idoit and began walking back to my room.

'So you can't stand me, huh?'

His voice sounded hurt. I shut my eyes and slowly turned to face him, only opening them when I was facing him.

'That wasn't supposed to get to you...' I muttered.

'What'd you buy?' He asked.

'Ice cream.' I said still not looking in his eyes. I heard his door shut and soon I saw his feet a little ways away from mine.

'So, you wanna explain the text?' He asked.

'It was for Drea.' I said.

'Oh. Well, I'm so glad you feel that way about me after you agreed we could be friends.'

'You know what, Bam? Friends don't kiss friends.' I said. 'That's why I hate you. You're a total man whore. And you had me wrapped around your little finger. But I don't want to be there anymore. You're married Bam. I'm not going to continue being known to the world as a homewrecker.'

'You're not a home wrecker.' Bam said laughing.

'Bam, as much as you don't think so, the rest of the world does because I fucked you the whole time you were engaged to Jenn. And I'm not going to be known as the girl who ruined your marriage to Missy.'

Bam didn't say anything. He stood there staring at me.

'Bam I've been head over heels in love with you since the day you pushed into me in that elevator at MTV Studios. And All these years, I've never known for once if you truly love me back. As much as I wanted to believe it, you'd fuck me over again. So until the day comes that you show me how much you really love me Bam and you prove it, then yes, I do hate you.'

'You honestly don't think I love you Rian?' He asked.

'No Bam. I don't.' I said. 'Not when you ignore me and break up with me and give me false hope constantly.'

Bam had me pinned to the wall in three strides. My arms flew around his neck. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waste and carried me towards his room. He banged his fist against it.

'Open the fucking door!' He screamed making my giggle into his neck.

'What?' Dunn asked sticking his head out, Novak close behind him.

'Out!' Bam said.

'What for Bam?' Novak asked.

'I need a place to fuck.' Bam said walking into the room and placing me down before pushing them out the door and slamming it.

'Where are we going to sleep?' Dunn asked.

'The hallway!' Bam said.

'Give them this.' I said going into my bag and getting the key to my room.

Bam sighed, took it from me, opened the door and threw it at them before slamming the door and coming back over to me.

'You wanted me to show you that I love you, right?' He asked smirking and placing his hands under my shirt.

The next morning I woke up to my phone ringing.

'Hello?' I said rolling over. Bam grabbed my waist making sure I didn't get too far away from him.

'Hey, honey.' Rob said.

'Rob...' I said groaning.

'How's London?' He asked. Bam was now kissing my neck.

'Really, really good.' I said holding back a moan.

'I love you.' Bam whispered in my ear somehow finding a way to pull me closer to him.

'That's great hon.' I hated it when he called me hon, but I refused to let him call me babe or baby like Bam did.

'Yeah.' I said thinking I had to do it now before I strung him along longer. 'I think we should break up.'

The smile on Bam's face stretched from ear to ear.

'What? Why? Things are so good.' Rob said.

'No they're not.' I said. 'I'm in love with my ex.'

Rob hung up the phone and never called again after that.

'Little harsh, don't you think Ri?' Bam asked laughing.

'He'll get over it.' I said kissing him and playing with his hand in mine. 'Where's your wedding ring?' I noticed it was gone.

'Why?'

'Did you lose it?'

'No. I took it off.' He said. 'I don't want to think of her when I'm with you. I haven't worn it around you since the day I got married.'

'Really?' I asked.

'I've always been in love with you Rian.' He said kissing me hard on the lips.