Helena

This of course left me out confused.. I could not properly think straight when his hot breath was attacking my lips so eagerly.

He couldn't possible be damn serious about this..

"Look," I started speaking up and he backed away a little. Though he never refused to look away from me.
I sighed and tried to pick the words together I wanted to say early, I stared at my lap and eyed him again.
"Look I-"
"It's okay." He said interrupting me. "I shouldn't have asked."
He got up shaking his head a little and kicked a book away that had been lying there for a few days now..
"No Gerard, I mean.. You've been really an asshole keeping this from her."
"Yeah, I kno-what?" He said turning around like I just hit him in the face.
"You've been lying to her." I said. "That's not fair."
"But I thought.." He started. "You're taking her side now?!"
I stared at him as he tried to understand what I just had said.
"You almost slept with me." I said. "Without warning."
"Oh so now your mother Teresa?!" He snarled as he turned away. "Helena, I know I've been a jerk to her, but she's been even more of a slut to me!"
"I know." I said silently.

"I wish.. I wish we could just be friends. Just like you and my brother, or Frank for that matter. I understand why you're angry but, can't we just let it go?" He tried as he sat down next to me again.
"Yeah but.. I don't know." I honestly said eying him again.
A hard expression flashed over his face.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" He said harshly out of anger and confusion.
"Gerard, part of me is still angry with you because of what you did to her. Then again she hurt you as well by sleeping with one of your best friends.. So I guess you've already had your punishment for that.."
"And?" He said encouraging me to speak up further.
"And, I'm still angry for the fact that you.. used me.."

I know I'm cruel and probably a lot of other things. But I've been feeling this for a long time now, and it wouldn't off left my chest ever since..
He started kissing me first after all..

"What?!" He said angry. "Helena I never used you!"
I stared at him with a confused expression.
"Then how do you explain-" I started.
"What, our so called affair?" He said with a weird smirk on his face. "I didn't had sex with you nor did I made love to you.. I didn't use you.. Helena."

I thought about his words and they actually did made sense. He didn't use me for his personal fun because he stopped me..

"I-I guess not." I said a little embarrassed by all of this.
He smiled and cupped my face with his right hand. I stared up at him in his deep hazel eyes.
"I'm not like that." He said. "I know what I did was wrong, but I stopped doing it at the right time."
I stared at my lap and back up at his eyes again.
My stomach started to form knots again. Like someone was strangling it slowly.
"I-I know." I said. "B-But if you didn't use me.. then.. why did you do it?"
He lowered his hand and smiled softly.
"Haven't you put that piece in to the puzzle yet Lena?"
I blushed, but what I was thinking just couldn't be right..
"What do you mean?" I asked to be sure of it.
"I like you." He said with the same smile. And when he said it the knot in my stomach even got tighter.
"Y-You what??" I said in a low voice.
"I like you Helena." He repeated. "Isn't that obvious?"

I started to think and it suddenly made sense.. Could it really be possible that over all those fights he was trying to show me some.. affection?!
And I didn't even noticed it until now!
Even when this whole soap opera started off with me getting hurt at Al's..

If I cut off your arms and I cut off your legs would you still love me? Anyway.. …Why don't you love me anyway, why don't you love me anyway….

"I-I think I-I'll go now." I said a little taken aback.
"But.." He started.
But I backed away and ran up the staircase back to the living room.
My heart was racing like an idiot and I felt four pair of eyes on me when I entered the room.
I improvised a fake smile and walked nonchalantly towards them.

"Ehm… Heya guys!" I said with a voice unlike my own.
"Lena? Is everything okay? Did he do something?" Asked Mikey with his eyebrows knitted up and his eyes full of confusion behind his pair of glasses.
"Eh no! No, eh.. everything.. everything is fine.. Excuse me!" I said walking out of the door and heading home.

This was absolutely ridiculous! Gerard liking me? Where was I? An alternate dimension?

I was walking home, out of Salter Place back to my own apartment..
It has been a nice day and the night that surrounded me wasn't anything worse.
The only problem was, that I was walking home alone, as a girl, in the dark, in fucking New Jersey..
I was not being the smart kid now..

"Helena!" I heard someone yell behind me.
I turned around and Frank was running towards me. When he stopped before me he was panting heavily and sweat was emerging out of his pores on his forehead.
"Yeah?" I said as he was resting his hands on his knees to gain some breath. He stared up at me from that position as his mohawk was stuck to his forehead.
"Gerard.." He panted. "H-He told us."
"Wait what?!" I said shaking my head out of confusion.
"He told us." Breathed Frank as he stood up straight again.
"And what, did he exactly tell you?" I asked getting frightened by this all.
"That he told you that he likes you and that you ran off." Explained Frank.
"And you believe him?" I asked stunned.
"No of course not!" Said Frank as if it wasn't obvious.

I let out a breath of relieve. I guess I was just a little afraid that I lost my friend.
"The guy only wants to get in your pants!" Said Frank with a glare.
I nodded, none of this could actually be the truth anyway.
Why would he say such a thing if he didn't had any plans after? Gerard is a sneak..
"I'm not going to let you walk home this late." Said Frank.
"But I'm almost there! It's around the corner! Seriously Frank I wont break my legs." I replied as I frowned. "I'll be okay, I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
Frank looked like he was going to protest, but when I turned around I could only hear a faint: "Okay.."

When I arrived home, Sushi immediately came to greet me. Even though I had the most weird evening a girl can get, I was glad I wasn't completely alone in this hollow apartment.
Tomorrow was Wednesday, my day off. And that was something I really needed the most.

A good night sleep and not waking up before noon..

I walked over to my bedroom and threw off my clothes. I was going to get some sleep this all got me really tired..
I put on my negligee and threw on my slippers, even though the night seemed beautiful when I walked home it was starting to shower now. I could hear the fresh rain fall down the street like it were little tingling fragments of millions of bells. And far away the sound of thunder was crashing down the sky.
I brushed my hair and I was just about to get in my comfortable bed when my doorbell rang.

Who could that be at this time of hour? Even so, in the middle of the rain?

I answered the phone next to my door to hear whomever it was.
"Hello?"
"Hey.." I heard a faint voice say.
"Who is this?" I asked clearly.
"It's me." I heard the voice repeat. "Can you please open the door?"
I hesitated for a minute but I unlocked the front door with the button and a few minutes later I heard a soft knock on my door.
I carefully opened the door and my stomach directly cringed in to a tight knot again..
"Gerard?"