Helena

Now I was alone here, and I actually kind of hated it..

I didn't wanted to be here, I wanted to disappear between the crowd, listen to their songs until they were finished and head back home.. Going to bed..
But there were two reasons why I wouldn't go back there..
One, Debby would be all over him.. and two, that Robby-guy could be back in again and kidnap me back to that scary alley again.. And well, take advantage of my body if I have to say it neatly..

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

They were playing this song now, I liked the song. But I hated the singer.
No matter what Mikey says, he still yelled at me, telling me "I'm just a fan" and "that I was nothing." Well screw him!
I considered about giving him a chance but how can I give someone a fair chance when the first thing I'll do when I meet them is puking all over them?

I mean, the first conversation I had with Gerard was random and fun, until Eva ruined it, the second was the one to remember..
And I thought he was nice.. Well now I know he isn't.
As for Frank I thought I insulted him when I met him! Helping him out with his amplifier.. If I knew what kind of jerk he was for real I would've kicked him real hard whenever I got the chance to do it.

Only Mikey, Ray and Bob seem nice to me.. What is it with those two people, Gerard and Frank, that they make my skin crawl?! That they make me feel sick when I'm around them?
As for Debby, I don't even think I want to be friends with her anymore! I mean, I'm paying the rent for the apartment, and Debby sends me money every month for her room and the necessary abilities.

What makes me feel so alone all in a sudden?
Mikey was wrong, it's not that I don't have many friends, I don't have any friends at all..


At the end of the world!
Or the last thing I see!
You are
Never coming home!
Never coming home!
Could I? Should I?!
And all the things that you never ever told me.
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.
Never coming home !
Never coming home!
Could I? Should I?!
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me.
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me..

Their songs seemed to mesmerize me of myself all the time.
Like a stupid coincidence, all their songs seemed to reflect me of myself. How stupid is that?
Sometimes I wished I could be normal, have a nice happy family and have dinners together.. But no, that future is not planned out for me.
I was destined to be alone. First my sister moves out of the house, then my dad dies, then my mother neglects me and leaves me all alone, then when I think I found a friend we're having a fight over a guy, (The worse fights are over guys..) and last but not least, I started to hate the band I loved so much.

What the hell is going on with me these days! I feel like I survived a war and I try to chase everyone away because, who might know?! A bomb will explode us all.. And that bomb would be myself exploding against everyone..
I am my own psychiatrist..

An hour later the guys walk in to the room, Frank first, well hooray..

"Hey! What do you think you're doing here?! Do you've got a pass?!" He snapped at me.
"Yes I have." I said not too enthusiastic.
"Yeah right and I'm Aretha Franklin!"
"You need to eat more pudding for that Frank, if you want the same blubbering arms she has." Said Gerard walking in with a snicker.
"What are you doing here?" Said Gerard as he saw me sitting on the couch.
"She's my special friend." Said Mikey walking in.
"Special Friend?!" Said Frank surprised. "Of you?"
"Why wouldn't she, she's pretty right?" Said Mikey while he eyed Frank extra exaggerated. "Gerard told me something.."

"N-No she is not." He said as he clearly didn't know what to say.
"Frankie loves Helena! Frankie loves Helena!" Mocked Gerard.
"Oh hell no!" Yelled Frank as he grabbed his bottle of vodka again and cocked the bottle backwards in his mouth, taking a large amount of vodka. "Shut up! I would rather die."
"Could be arranged." Said Mikey with a smile as he sat next to me on the couch. "So did you have fun?"

I laughed nervously I wasn't sure of what they were talking about..

"If sitting on the same spot for about an hour and watching TV is fun, then yes I had." I said.
"Were we that bad?" Laughed Ray as he walked in with Bob.
"No you kicked ass Ray." I said with a smile.
"I didn't?" Asked Mikey disappointed.
"Yeah you did too." I said with a laugh. "And Bob of course."
"I didn't?" Said Gerard.

But I decided long ago that ignoring would work out for the best at the moment.

"So where do you live?" Asked Mikey.
"153 Franklin Street. Why?" I said.
"Jesus that's close to our house!" Said Gerard.
But yet again I ignored him completely..
"Then where do you live Mikes?" I asked.
"69 Salter Place. We still live at our parents, though Gerard has his own apartment in the basement." Said Mikey with a grin. "It's six blocks away from yours!" Said Mikey. "That's funny. You live in the apartment building right?"
"Yeah." I said.
"Cool." He said.

Frank was drinking out of a vodka bottle and Gerard had joined him with a beer in the meantime. He apparently discovered that he was unwanted. Rob and Ray were talking animated about some stuff.
I glanced at Frank for a brief second, and his eyes met with mine.
His beautiful hazel eyes..

What am I thinking!! He's stupid and he sleeps around with everybody! He probably has aids or something!

"I saw you leering at him." Whispered Mikey in my ear next to me which caused me a fright.
"I didn't leer at anyone!" I hissed back at him.
"I already told you that you're a bad liar." He said with a grin.
I huffed and crossed my arms while Mikey grinned. The guys loaded their equipment in their van and then they all started drinking.
Including me..

We stayed talking for about an hour as Gerard, Frank and Ray got really wasted. Bob decided to be the Bob, (A.N. yes I know it's funny!) I had a few beers and so did Mikey, but we weren't drunk.

"So are you a virgin?" Said Mikey with his slurry voice. He had more beers than I had because I didn't want to lose control over myself in a room full of guys..

"You don't ask such questions at a lady!" I said laughing.
"Your not a lady you're my sister!" He said laughing along.
"Mikes I'm not your sister.."
"Yes you are!" He said laughing. "Gee! We've got a sister!"
Gerard turned towards us and put thumbs up.
"Yay!" He yelled. "Y-You h-hear that Fr-Frank?" He slurred.
"Shut up.." Mumbled Frank.

"Hey uhm Mikes, I'm going home." I said after a while of talking with him.
"Oh yeah sure, we'll take you there with the van." Said Mikey.
"Come on guys lets head home." Said Bob as he got up and dragged Ray out of the back door.
Mikey and me walked behind Gerard as Frank followed me outside.
We all got in this white van with a white trailer sprayed full with graffiti.
Bob was in the drivers seat, and the passengers seat was occupied with bags.

Mikey quickly got in the van followed by Gerard whom he was dragging with him. Then it was my turn to climb in the van since Ray stayed waiting with Frank. Since the second row seats were occupied with Mikey and Gerard I had to get to the back row.
I sat in the far corner at the window.
Then to my own surprise Frank came sitting next to me.

All hail to that god who loves me so much..

He was drunk, really, really, really drunk.. And he came sitting next to me. Yay.. Praise the lord hallelujah!
I moved farther to the window so I didn't had to sit next to him, but he still sat next to me..
Then Ray climbed in to the van and plopped himself next to Frank, making Frank move more closer towards me getting me squeezed between Frank and the car..

The drive home took a little longer then I expected since we had to drop Ray off first, we hoped he made it safe to his house.. Frank had fallen asleep and his head was leaning down on my shoulder.

I hated it, was it noticeable?

"You two look sooo cute!" Said Mikey while he grinned.
"Shut up Mikey." I growled. "I hate his guts."
"I'm just teasing your ass Lena." He said with a goofy smile before turning back.
"Where are we going next?" I asked to change the subject.
"Our house." Said Mikey. "We're dropping Gerard and Frank off and I'll drive you home with Bob."
"Okay." I said.

Then Frank moaned something and he snuck his arm around my waist gripping me tightly. I widened my eyes and stared at Frank's sleeping form.
I didn't said anything but I tried to escape from his grip, but the harder I tried, the stronger he pulled me closer.
It was no use.. Frank totally snuggled up against me..

Someone SAVE ME!

"Right we're here." Said Bob as he stopped the car at a dark street.
I suppose it was around three am..
"Gerard wake up." Said Mikey as he aggressively nudged Gerard.
Gerard got a fright but he cooperated with Mikey getting out of the car.
As soon as Gerard was out of the car and Bob guided him down to a small alleyway, Mikey walked up to me and Frank as he nudged him.
"Frank." He said poking him in the side. "Oh Jesus not again.."
"Not what again?" I said a little scared.
"He's sleeping, and when he's sleeping.. He doesn't wake up for anything.." Said Mikey with a sigh.

"But he's gripping my waist and pulling me close to him!" I yelled as I helplessly looked at Mikey searching for an answer for that statement.
"Do something!"
"You'll never break free from him. He's done it to me too and I'm a guy!" Said Mikey.
"Than what do we do?!" I said helplessly.
"I guess there are only two options." He said with a mischievous grin.
"Which is?!" I yelled frustrated.

"Either you sleep here in the van with him until he wakes up, or you'll have to drag him to your apartment,
it seems he's not letting you go.."