Indifferent

1.

Catherine is my sister. She’s a year older than I am. We look similar because we have similar DNA. This is because we have the same parents and have inherited some of the same genes. Catherine takes dance lessons on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. Her dance teacher is called Mrs Doherty. Mrs Doherty is middle-aged and slim and very flexible. When she is happy she smiles and the corners of her eyes become creased. Catherine says that this is because Mrs Doherty has smiled a lot in her life.

Last year Catherine had long hair and it was brown, like mine. My hair is curly but Catherine’s hair is straight. This year Catherine has short hair and it is still brown. For a while at the end of last year Catherine had no hair and she wore scarves on her head. Hair is not the only thing that changed about Catherine since last year.

My mum says that I shouldn’t talk about Catherine’s changes. She says that it makes Catherine upset. I do what my mum says but sometimes I don’t know if she is right or wrong because I rarely see Catherine frown and I rarely see Catherine cry. Alice says that when people frown they can be sad and they can also be sad when they cry. If they are crying it means that they are very sad. Catherine is almost always smiling and laughing.

I was six-years-old when I met Alice. She held her hand out to me. At first, I didn’t know what to do. She said to take her hand in mine and to shake it. Handshakes are a way of greeting like waving or hugging but more formal. Alice asked me if I would like to introduce myself. I told her that my name is Lucy Penelope Harris. I told her how old I was. I told her about my mum and my dad and Catherine. I told her about where my mum worked and I told her about my dad’s writing. I told Alice about Catherine’s dancing. She asked me if I had any hobbies or if there was anything I was interested in. I told her that I liked languages and literature and biostratigraphy.

Alice showed me different cards with different faces on them and asked me if I knew what they meant.

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I knew what that one meant. Happy. I knew that when someone smiled it meant that they were happy. Alice said that people smile when they experience something that they like, something that makes them happy.

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I knew what that one meant too. Sad. I knew that when someone frowned it meant that they were sad. Sometimes people frown when they are angry too. It is hard to tell which one is which, unless they are crying. Alice said that sometimes people cry when they are very, very happy and especially when they are grateful. This confused me.

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I didn’t know what this one meant.

Once I went with Catherine to the doctor because Mum was working. I wasn’t ill but Catherine was. Mum said it could be very serious and that Catherine was feeling sad about it. She told me to make sure that Catherine kept smiling.

I told Catherine jokes when we were in the waiting room. When I told her one joke she started to cry. I asked her if she didn’t like it but she said that it was a very good joke. I remembered what Alice said about people sometimes crying when they were very, very happy. I asked Catherine if she was crying because she was happy. She said no. She said she was crying because she was sad. I told her I didn’t understand and I asked her to explain but she just kept crying.

Sometimes when I don’t understand what someone is communicating I walk away. Alice says that I shouldn’t do this as it can make people upset or angry because they might think that I don’t care.

I didn’t walk away from Catherine.
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