Soliloquy

Charles and Lily were not happy when I told them of my plan to return to London, and Lily begged to stay until I'd recieved word from my father that it was all right to come back. I was to write him and tell him that the financial problems of the Townshend's were fabricated by Rupert's insane mother. Did I believe this? Not really, no. I didn't particularly care, though. I could not be in a place where I was so desolatley alone. I would tell my father that I would not be in his way, Rupert would procure a special liscence - they were more expensive, but I wouldn't mind paying the extra - and be married the day I arrived in London. Father wouldn't have to deal with me. That would make him very happy, I supposed.

I knew I was being rash. I knew that if I gave myself a few days to think about it, I would change my mind. And that was why I couldn't give myself a few days. I could not be tempted to stay here with ghosts and demons. But because I knew I was being rash, and because I was tempted to give myself more time, it was harder and harder each moment to compose a letter to both my father and Rupert. I sat in the library in the late afternoon sun, trying to think of how I should accept Rupert's proposal, ask him to get a liscence, and make the necessary arrangements. And then my father. I was afraid to tell him I was coming back. And then maybe I just wouldn't. Maybe I'd just forget to send him a letter, and when I arrived on his doorstep as the new Mrs. Rupert Townshend, he'd be surprised.

But I wasn't of age yet. I would need his signature. Well, there went my beautiful and brilliant plan.

I was chewing on the end of the fountain pen, wondering just how to proceed, when in came Lily, with a note for me. She looked anxious, yet happy. I was puzzled when I took the note, and looked at Lily. "Who is this from?" I inquired.

"Ah, it is from Wren Morgenstern," Lily replied. I felt my insides squirm. "She likes you very much, I believe," added Lily. I stared at the note. Likes me very much, indeed, I thought, feeling nervous. If she knew I was escaping, running away from her, she'd have my head. Whatever it was she wanted...well I'd just feign a fever and implore that I was too weak to answer. "Well, go on then," Lily finally said, looking as if it were addressed to her, not me.

Giving the note a weary look, I opened the wax seal and quickly unfolded the paper. Wren was asking me to dine with her this very evening. "She uh, has invited me to dine with her tonight," I said to Lily. I figured that she would look unhappy, but instead, Lily surprised me by looking delighted.

"Why, that's lovely news!" she exclaimed.

My mouth fell open. "But how can it be? I will be at their house - unchaperoned!"

Lily took the note from me and read over the lines. "Ah, you did not catch the part where Wren wrote to say that Miss Victoria Landry and her mother are going to be there." My insides relaxed considerably. Victoria was going to be there. I wouldn't be alone. Maybe I could go, stick with Victoria, and we would not talk at all of...Alphonse. Even putting my thoughts to his name made my stomach hurt. I did not want to think about him, didn't want to think about the fact that if I really, truly wanted, I could go past Lily, could go into the North Wing, open the door and go to him...

Ah, silly, childish thoughts. What would I do once I was there? Alphonse hated me now. He did not have any use for me. Well, if I was to have one last night grand night here, it might as well be with the Morgensterns. Maybe I'd just leave tomorrow, arrive at Rupert's house unannounced. I'd just tell him I couldn't wait for the post and had to come see him that very instant. It would be a lie, of course, but even if something slipped to Wren tonight, which it wouldn't, but if it did, I would be long gone tomorrow before she would have any time to...curse me, or something on that idea. So I looked to Lily with a false smile. "Well, in that case, I will get myself into a nice dress and I will be ready. Does Wren mention any specific time?" I asked.

Reading over the note, Lily looked in full concentration. "Ah yes, six. My, that's only two hours from now! You must get ready quickly! I'll get Jeannette up from the kitchen. She's just helping cook out. She'll be right to you," explained Lily. She walked away quickly and I got up and followed her, but not before I took one last look at the two pieces of parchment that were sitting on the large desk in the library. It would not matter. If Rupert loved me the way he had professed those many weeks before, he would not mind my sudden appearance. And if my father loved me, even a little, he would want what made me happy. Or at least, what I pretended made me happy. As I walked to the grand staircase, my eyes fell on the North Wing. I could just dash in there quickly...see if Alphonse still hated me...

No. I would not do that. It was one thing to miss someone. It was another to hurt your pride only to get rejection. I could handle no more losses. I wanted only to be alone, now. And alone was what I made sure I would be.

Jeannette came up quickly and helped me dress into a beautiful cream colored dress that made my complexion look a few shades brighter. I did not want to look so sallow for the Morgensterns. As much as I hated it, I still wanted to impress them. I did not understand why, and I did not know why I should, but when I left my room just after five, I had made sure I looked my best. I held my head high as I got into the carriage alone, with only the aid of the footman. I sat in total silence as we drove through the dark, foggy roads of Huntsville and up the side road to reach Criewulf. I would have Victoria with me. She was beautiful and held no secrets, she was someone I could rely on for steadiness. I would not let my guard down or tell Wren a thing. Tomorrow morning, I would make my escape back to London. My heart beat quickly, in time to the galloping hoofs of the horses. I felt like I could run forever with the amount of energy that seemed packed into my body.

Criewulf looked even more imposing when we arrived. The windows were ablaze with light in such a way that it made it look as if the estate were on fire. I shivered as I was helped out of the carriage by one of the Morgenstern's footmen. As he led me inside, I leaned over to him. "Are Mrs. and Miss Landy arrived yet?" I inquired.

The footman leaned back. "I beg your pardon madame, they have not been invited this night."

"Oh," was all I could reply. I had been duped. So I stayed silent and I knew ashenface as we entered Criewulf and was greeted by Wren, who was smiling quite mischeviously. "You tricked me," I said to her when I had wrestled myself out of the footman's grasp.

Wren sighed boredly. "Yes, I did." She turned on me with a dark gaze. "But it was only because I knew you'd never come if I just invited you. And I knew Lily would never let you go. She's so worried about scandal and gossip and all that. She doesn't realize, however, that if we ruined you, she could just play the innocent victim, crying and crying."

"She is innocent," I answered.

A thoughtful look passed through Wren's eyes. "Yes, I suppose she is. A mother's love is eternal, isn't that right?" she asked I had no idea what she meant about that. A grin lept onto Wren's face after that and she took me by the elbow. Oh, if only she knew I was leaving as soon as possible! She would not appreciate that. We walked through the hall that was now becoming quite familiar to me and ended up at the parlor that the women had taken coffee in last night. How strange it was, when I realized that all that had happened only the night prior! It all seemed changed now, as if Wren was a different person entirely. The parlor was alight with soft, orange candles and I saw that the entire Morgenstern family sat in the parlor. Prince stood at the hearth, looking down upon me with warm eyes.

"Good evening," he said, the first to speak to me. The rest of the family mumbled their greetings, and I was guided over to a plush setee that I sank into, feeling as if there were hundreds of critical eyes upon me. "You must, ah," Prince started, "want to know why you're here. Why we asked you here on such short notice."

I nodded. "Indeed, I did suppose you could not just want to invite me to dine for my companionship," I replied. Looking at Prince, I saw the smile that he gave me was very sad. It struck me as odd that he should feel sadness. I thought he felt nothing.

"We have heard of your intention to leave Deathcreeke and Northumberland entirely," Prince told me. I felt myself go rigid with fear. Oh I knew it, they were going to curse me for trying to leave! Prince laughed. "Oh Faerie, you look so afraid! Do not worry, we won't harm you. We just wanted to try and persuade you to stay." Swallowing, I looked at them all. I wanted to speak, ask them what was going on, what they had to do wih Alphonse Wainwright, and why they wanted me to stay. But my mouth wouldn't work. Instead, all I could was gape. Prince smiled. "Ah, maybe we should speak on it after we've eaten?" he asked. I nodded, if only for something to do. Prince got up and rang a bell. In came a staunch looking footman. "Tell the cook we are ready to eat," said Prince. I noticed his voice changed when he spoke to the young servant. Almost...condescending, I noted. It made my skin crawl.

Wren turned to me. "We will try to explain all we can after we have eaten," she said in an unconventionally kind tone.

"Okay." My voice was small. She smiled and got up. The rest of the Morgensterns picked themselves up from where they were sitting or standing and made their way into the dining hall. I assumed I was supposed to follow, but I felt unsteady on my feet. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my waist.

"Steady now," said a dark, smooth voice. I looked to my right to see Sloane Morgenstern guiding me out of the parlor. "Wouldn't want you falling, now would we?" he asked carefully, his eyes hooded. His voice was soothing like a lullaby, and it made me want to sleep. Sloane guided my legs carefully. "That's it," he said even quieter, right into my ear. I could feel his breath on my lobe. And then I could feel his lip on my ear, and then on the skin right under my ear and then...

And then the door was pushed open. Prince stood there, tall and frightening. Sloane took a step back from me and I stumbled. Prince caught me by the elbow. And then he flashed Sloane a look I would never forget in all my life. It was so lethal, so dangerous, I was sure he was about to murder his relative. Sloane shrunk back and Prince did nothing, only walked me out of the parlor to the dining hall. I did not look back to see if Sloane was following us. The skin where his lips had been tingled and burned and I felt confused in a good way...like whatever had happened, I didn't mind it. Prince sat me down and made his way to the head of the table. Sloane finally wandered in, alone, like a little lost puppy. We did not look at each other. Instead, I focused on the food that had just been placed in front of me.

Suddenly, there was a voice next to me. "That is quite a lovely necklace, Miss Faerie. Wherever did you get it?" I turned to see Greer staring at my throat with an odd expression. I touched the place where the small ruby necklace that my father had given to me for my fourteenth birthday sat at the base of my neck. Then I looked to Greer, who was still staring at it. Her eyes were filled with an insatiable kind of lust. Her eyes frightened me so much that I almost offered to give it to her. But only almost.

"It was a present. From my father," I said instead. Greer looked at it for a few more moments before turning back to her food. I made a point of talking minimally for the rest of the meal, and the Morgensterns generally made conversation without me.

When dinner was over, we reconvened back in the parlor. I was feeling a lot less anxious now that I had food in my stomach and was ready to hear what Wren and the rest of the Morgensterns had to say. I would try to explain to Wren the best I could that Alphonse did not want to talk to me, that he hated me, and that I had the stupidity to ask him a question that would only bring unhappiness. I would not mention the question I had asked him, though. For some reason, I had the feeling that Wren hadn't meant to tell me about the "frozen wasteland." Something told me that that phrase had just slipped out. Greer and Wren sat next to me on the setee this time and I felt just a bit more relaxed. Sloane was on the other side of the room and it looked like he had nodded off. Greer had returned to normal and was not looking at me the way she had before. Ennis was staring at Prince with a hint of jealousy in his eyes. Lucy on a chair near the fire, the light accentuating her curves in what she knew was a favorable manor. Glen was standing in back of Prince, eating more of the desert. I let my eyes rest on the man in front of me.

"Wren told you that you must get Alphonse to start wanting to live. This is the most important thing to us, right now," said Prince.

I sighed. "It will not happen. Alphonse and I...had a row last night and now he hates me," I replied.

Wren looked angry and Prince looked upset. "That is...unfortunate. But Faerie, please. Look at us, we are just a simple family, and we all need your help," he implored. I looked around to them all. They were all strange and beautiful, terrible and mysterious.

"I will...try..." I said.

Prince's worried face broke out into a smile. "I promise you that Alphonse does not hate you. It is not in the nature of the third generation of Wainwright's to be violent. Indeed, they are the only ones to trust...because they have no hope left." I did not understand what this meant, and Prince smiled. "Ah yes, but of course. Wren must have told you. We can say not much on the nature of our connection to the Wainwrights. You may guess it, as it were, but we are bound by an outh that binds the dead," he explained.

"Yes, Wren told me that." I then looked to Wren, who had calmed down considerably when I told her I would try again. "Do you think, though, that you could answer me one question?" I inquired.

Wren looked at me quizically. "I suppose," she answered.

"When you spoke of a frozen wasteland last night," I started, knowing I should say nothing, but not being able to stop the words that were tumbling out of my mouth, "did you mean the land of Niflheim?" I asked. Wren looked surprised, as if she hadn't thought I would understand what she was talking about. She tried to speak, but Prince cut her off.

"The night that the moon turns red with the blood of the innocent," he told me quietly. "That is when you will understand." Those words gave me the chills, and I almost asked him what he meant until I realized he probabaly was telling me all he could. The clock struck ten pm. I had been here much longer than I expected. Prince smiled. "Yes and you are still growing, my dear, so you must get home to get a proper nights sleep. Just see if you can talk to Alphonse again. Try your best. We will keep in touch."

With that, I was whisked out of Criewulf by another competent footman and brought directly to the coach where I was covered in a warm blanket for the cold night. The moon shone brightly in the sky, but the fog hung close to the ground. The night the moon turns red with the blood of the innocent... I could not get those words from my mind. They haunted me the entire carriage ride and when I reentered Deathcreeke and as I walked up the grandstaircase and as I went to my room and undressed and looked at my tired and haggard face in the mirror and as I laid down to sleep and as I blew out my candle and as I lay, trying to fall into dreamland...That is when you will understand.

But suddenly, my door was opened quite quickly and I was met with candlelight. It took me a moment to realize that the person carrying the candle was Alphonse Wainwright. I stared at him in shock. He put down the candle on my bedside and kneeled down beside me, closing my door with his foot. "Do not leave Deathcreeke," he said, a desperate whisper. "Do not marry Rupert Townshend," he said. "Do not leave me."

That was all I needed. Alphonse put his thin arms around my neck and I returned the embrace. "I will stay," I whispered to him.

He pulled back. "You are my only happiness," he said to me, and I saw that his dark eyes were shining.

"And you are mine," I replied. There was silence, and Alphonse leaned into me. He kissed my cheek softly, but it was more intimate than what had happened between Sloane and I earlier. He smiled at me and took his candle and then he was gone from my room, leaving me in darkness once again, to wonder if that really had happened.

I could not suppress a smile and lay down on my bed. It was then that I realized I'd never taken off the necklace I'd put on last night. Reaching up to undo the clasp, I realized there was nothing on my neck. My ruby necklace was gone.