Soliloquy

I awoke quite late the next morning, and when I emerged from my room, found that there was quite a commotion in Deathcreeke. Footmen and maids hustled through the usually quiet foyer and Lily stood in the middle with a middle aged man who I'd never seen before. I went downstairs cautiously, wondering if this could have anything to do with Alphonse. But what could have been such a big deal that everyone was hurrying like their lives depended on it? Besides, maids were carrying linens and footmen were dusting around the hall. No, this could not have anything to do with Alphonse.

Lily smiled when she saw me coming down the grand staircase. "Faerie! I would like you to meet Mr. Dashforth. Mr. Dashforth, Miss Brighton comes from London. She is staying with us for awhile," she said and I went to Lily's side and made a curtsy.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Dashforth," I answered, still a bit unsure about why Mr. Dashforth was here in the first place. He smiled and bowed a little. I turned to Lily with a quizical expression. "What is all of this for?" I inquired.

Mr. Dashforth answered that question, explaining, "Each year, the Wainwright's host a masquerade ball, and each year there is a different theme. I help Mrs. Wainwright pick out the theme and I buy the decor and generally run the setting up of the party," he told me. I nodded. "This year, we're thinking of a celestial sort of theme. Moons, stars, blues and golds," he said to me with a smile on his face. I wondered if he figured I'd be interested in this sort of thing. I was, I supposed, and a masquerade ball did sound exciting, but I hoped Lily wouldn't try to wrangle me into helping her decide on what to get for decor.

"That sounds fascinating," I answered anyway and Mr. Dashforth smiled with pleasure. I looked to Lily. "When is the ball?" I asked.

Lily grinned. "It is next week, but the dressmaker will be coming to fit us this afternoon. I have picked out a few different designs, that I believe you will like," she told me. I must have looked surprised that the ball was next week - for that was such a short notice for a masquerade - because Lily laughed. "The masquerade is an annual affair and our guest list hardly changes. Most have had their costumes for quite awhile," she answered. This masquerade must be one of the biggest social events in the region. I was about to ask Lily who was invted when Mr. Dashforth caught her with another question and they started chatting animatedly about hanging glittery stars around the manor. I snuck away easily to the kitchen.

Charles was sitting, eating a croissant and drinking some tea. He smiled when he saw me and I was once again astounded by his handsome face. I wondered if Alphonse would look like this if he weren't shut up in his room all the time? But instead of voicing my question, I just curtsied politely. "Goodmorning," I said demurely.

"Goodmorning, Faerie," answered he. "Did you have fun last night with the Morgensterns?" he asked.

I faltered, quite unsure of how to answer this question. "Yes. They are quite an...interesting bunch," I finished diplomatically. Charles grinned and I sat down, grabbing a couple pieces of warm bread and slathering on some blackberry preserves onto them. I ate as ladylike as possible, but the scent of the bread had made me quite ravenous. I hadn't been in the right mind to eat very much last night.

"Did they tell you anything more about their secrets?" he asked and something inside me churned with anxiousness. Charles's voice was innocent enough, but it was as if he wanted to know what we'd talked about the night prior. I looked at his face and wondered if he knew...that I knew about Alphonse. His eyes did not betray his voice, but I still was hesitant.

I shrugged though, trying to look nonchalant. "Not particularly. They are quite secretive. Even if they had some dark terrible secret, I hardly think I'm the person they'd tell," I answered. It was almost the truth, as well. They were secretive, and there was some binding on them that made them not be able to talk about the secret. All I knew was that it rested on me to try and get Alphonse to want to live. Something told me this would not break the curse, but a new fire burned inside me now, a fire that made me want to keep Alphonse alive. Whatever I had to do, I would do it now. I knew I could not trust the Morgensterns, but I also knew I could not trust the Wainwrights - save for Alphonse. So I must trust myself.

Charles laughed. "Faerie, you give yourself too little credit. In fact, there has been much talk of yours and Prince's courtship," he answered.

At his words, I felt quite faint. "Courtship?" I wondered aloud.

"Yes...he is courting you, is he not?" asked Charles. I did not know how to respond, so I was silent. "Well, it would be a good match, you and Prince Morgenstern, that is for sure. I know quite a few girls in town who would be envious."

I still stayed silent, and Charles did not say much after that. Courtship? Hardly. A match? As in...an engagement? Just thinking about the words made my head spin. I had joked with Victoria about how Lily would probably love it if I married Prince, but had not actually considered it. Now it made me sick. It was not that Prince wasn't kind or amiable. He was the picture of a gentleman, but something about him felt off to me. My mother had always thought of herself as quite a good judge of character, and she was convinced that she had passed that judge of character onto me. Maybe that was the reason that I felt off about him, or maybe it was just because he intimidated me. Whatever the reason, I did not like the words courtship and engagement. They were restricting words.

As Charles got up, he looked at me kindly. "I did not mean to frighten you, Faerie. You are but sixteen, and still young. I am merely suggesting that Prince would be a good match - for anyone. But if you have someone else, or none at all, in your mind, then you'll simply need to excuse my wandering mouth." My eyes traveled to Charles, and he moved over to me. He was so very tall, and looking at him from my seated position made my neck hurt. He held out his hand and I took it. He pulled me up carefully. We were quite close, and even though he was many years my senior, I couldn't help but feel my pulse quicken when I looked at him. But it wasn't for the same reason it had been when I'd first seen the man...

Why was it when I looked into Charles's eyes, all I could see was Alphonse? It made me look at the floor and smile shyly. "Thank you, Charles, it is quite kind of you to think of me like that," I answered. I felt a hand under my chin and Charles pulled my face to look at him. He was smiling at me warmly, but there was something to his face that suddenly made me feel unsettled.

"You are a fascinating young woman, Faerie," he said quietly, and I could not fathom what he meant by that.

I gulped. "Th-thank you," I replied, looking to the dining hall door. It was closed...I had closed it stupidly, to block out the noises of the maids and footmen scurrying around. My eyes moved back to him, and we studied each other for a few moments. Charles leaned down to my face just a little bit more and looked at me, straight in the eyes. Finally, he let go and chuckled, turned away and walked through the door to the foyer. I stood in the dining hall, feeling quite stunned.

What had just happened?

There was a strange sensation at the pit of my stomach. It seemed like a sort of fear, like a fear and an acute feeling of missing someone. I knew what it was...I knew who I missed. The encounter with Charles made me want to run to Alphonse and have him comfort me. But Charles was his father. Alphonse loved his father. Charles was kind and generous. Why did what had just happened made me feel so nervous?

I left the dining hall quickly and saw that the maids and footmen had moved on to a different part of the house. It must take them the good part of this week to clean the entire house until it was spotless. And then they had to set up the decor for the masquerade, which sounded excessive. I found Lily saying goodbye to Mr. Dashforth, and in an effort to avoid conversation with the man, hung back until he had left. It was then that I made my way to Lily. I didn't know what she would do for me, but there was a quiet strength about her that I liked - even if she hadn't told me about her ailing son. She smiled when she saw me, but her eyes were tired. "I was just going to suggest you get ready to go out. We're going to have tea with some of the ladies, and come back here to have our gowns fitted," Lily told me.

"You know, I quite like having someone to tell me what my social engagements are. It's almost like having my mother back again," I said. Lily looked shocked, but pleased. "Except of course, she was not quite as conservative as you. She was never interested in the rules of propriety and I was constantly getting into trouble. I fear that I probably would have ended up causing a large scandal if I were still in London."

Lily smiled and we started up the grand staircase again. "I'm sure your mother would have done a fine job," she said, "she was such a kind woman. I met her once, when Charles and I came down to London. You were very small, so I quite doubt you'd remember it."

I was quiet for a moment. "I miss her," I found myself saying against my will. Lily and I caught eyes and I could tell that she felt the way I did. Not exactly, but she too, had to say goodbye to someone she loved. Maybe it was worse because she had no idea there was a way to stop it. Maybe...maybe there was no way to stop it, anyway. Lily didn't reply to my words, and instead just lead me to my room, where Jeanette was waiting to help me into a coat and muff. It was not particularly cold outside, but it was always chilly in carriages and I did not want to catch a cold. When I was all bundled up, I left the room quietly and waited for Lily downstairs. As silly as I knew this was, I did not want to see Charles again. At least, not for awhile.

The carriage ride to the town house of the Abbot family was long and silent. I could not tell Lily about what had passed between Charles and me. I could not tell anyone about that. The sun was peeking out by the time we arrived at the Abbot's house and I was glad to have some distraction. There was too much to think about.

It was the same as it had been when we'd visited the Landry's home for tea, except there were young gentlemen in the tea circle with the young ladies. The mothers sat in another circle, carefully watching that their young ducklings did not scandalize themselves in front of good society. I was greeted with kind expressions of happiness. Victoria and Olive came up to embrace me and give me a kiss on either cheek. I smiled. Here, here was normality. No curses, no secrets, no lies, just talking. Just the average society drama of young boys and young girls who could be a little too forward with each other.

I was seated next to a young man by the name of Isaac Ewanthorpe. He was a slightly attractive young man, with strong cheekbones and beautiful dark auburn hair. However, he had assymetrical eyes and a weak chin. He smiled, though, when we were introduced. "You are living at Deatchreeke Manor, are you not? With the Wainwrights?" asked he.

Taking a sip of my tea, I nodded. "I am, sir," I replied.

A grin came over Mr. Ewanthorpe's face. "And have you been privy to all of their terrifying secrets?" he asked me. I laughed.

"Oh, come now. They are just as respectable a family as you or I," I said to him. There was a skeptical look on Mr. Ewanthorpe's face as he took a small petit four from a silver platter and popped it in his mouth, chewing carefully. I wondered if he would say anything else to me...and then I wondered if he meant the Wainwright curse. What then, did he know about Alphonse? I took in a breath and looked back to Mr. Ewanthorpe, who had just finished eating. "I have heard about the curse...is that what you were referring to?" I asked, quite quietly.

Mr. Ewanthorpe looked intrigued. "Curse? No, I wasn't thinking of that. Why, what have you heard about a curse?" he questioned, sounding as if he were sniffing for gossip. Drat, I thought and took a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face, and attempted to charm my way out of that one.

I laughed. "Oh, tis nothing but a story I've heard from the lower maids. Something about a ghost that haunts the grounds. I haven't heard a ghost or anything of the sort however," I answered and Mr. Ewanthorpe looked sufficiently charmed, because he leaned in closer to me.

"Well, that might have something to do with the stories I've heard..." he said, in a way that he knew would make me want to hear more. I leaned in closer to him as well. I hoped we did not look too close, however. I would hate to know what any of the mama's might think. There was a gleam in his eye, though, that made me not care. "As you obviously know, Deathcreeke sits on quite a vast moor. They own much of the land around them, and have built almost nothing on that land. I've heard and read many accounts of men riding through the area, riding near Deathcreeke and seeing the moon turn absolutely blood red. And they always, always talk of the blood-curdling screams that they have heard..."

I was as still as a stone as Mr. Ewanthorpe pulled back. The night the moon turns red with the blood of the innocent... Prince had said that. That is when you will understand, he had told me. I looked at Mr. Ewanthorpe. "Is it on a particular night that they see the red moon? That they hear the screams?" I asked, quickly.

My companion looked puzzled for a moment. "I really have no idea. The stories I read were all in this journal I found down in the church archives. I'm not sure what it was doing there, but I came across it one day. I'm going to be a parishoner, you know," he said to me, probably hoping to catch my interest with his future profession. It did not work.

"Is there any way I could see this journal?" I asked.

Mr. Ewanthorpe was taken aback. "I hardly think it is the sort of thing that young ladies of your position should read. I shouldn't have even told you the story," he answered. I groaned inwardly. Time for my charms again. I smiled radiantly, which must have blinded him, for he leaned back.

"Really?" I simpered and leaned even closer to him. "Cause I was really hoping there was a chance we might meet again...you know, alone, and the journal was really the only way I believe my guardian's will allow me to see you. If I come to the church while you're working, and have a look at the archives, don't you think you'd be able to...escort me? So then we could...talk?" I asked, smiling demurely. To myself I was rolling my eyes. I would get the journal and make an excuse on why I'd have to leave. The next time I saw him, possibly at a social gathering, I would say a quick hello, apologize and move on. For now, however, this seemed like a seamless plan.

A sly grin came over Mr. Ewanthorpe's face, which made his assymetrical eyes squint beadily. And his chin really could not hold that sort of smile. He looked as if he was melting off himself. "Ah, well, I suppose I could see. You'll need to ask your guardian's permission, but I'm there in the morning, so if you come for an innocent visit, what could be the harm? And you can take the journal and bring it back to me." He grinned even larger, which really looked terrible. I stifled a giggle.

"What a ingenious plan, Mr. Ewanthorpe," I replied.

"Please, call me Isaac," he told me. Inwardly, I retched. Outwardly, I smiled.

"Isaac."

When I asked Lily if I could go to the church the next morning to visit the archives, she was puzzled. I explained that Mr. Ewanthorpe was going to escort me around, for he had been chatting about his work at the church and I'd found it fascinating. I could tell that made Lily happy. She wanted me to find a husband, and while Isaac Ewanthorpe was not exactly a perfect vision, she agreed to let me take the carriage and visit him. But after we'd settled on details and I was once again left to the confines of my mind, I found myself thinking more and more about that journal. I wondered what I'd find in there. Had everyone who had seen the red moon written in the journal? And if so, why had they? More questions, I knew. Even less answers. I doubted Alphonse would knew. He was so sheltered. He knew about the curse, but I doubted he knew anything else. His parents would have not wanted to scare him.

The dressmaker arrived shortly after Lily and I had returned home. She had brought a few assistants and many dresses for us to try on. There were beautiful dresses of pinks, purples, yellows, blues...every color of the imagination. My mother had said that a London season would be like this. Buying dress upon dress for party after party. My coming out ball would have been a grand affair, I knew. My mother had talked about it with fervent. She'd never had a season, she was just a poor Irishgirl. But she'd wanted my season to be glittering and perfect. We'd read the society papers together during the season and talked about the dresses and the ladies hair and imagined what mine would be like. As I tried on the dresses for the masquerade, I pretended I was with her.

My perfect dress was a silver and cold creation that made me feel like a princess. I asked Lily to mail my father the bill, but she laughed and said she would never do such a rude thing. I thought it was quite rude of my father, actually, to dump me on this poor family, and I also thought it quite rude of my father not to inform me that this family would have so many secrets. I never once thought that Lily would be rude. The mask I picked out matched the dress and made me look mysterious and seductive, two things I never would call myself otherwise.

But throughout the magic of the dresses, my mind could not completley stray away from the subject of the fears of the night of the red moon.