The Sick Among the Pure
Fragile, Broken, Torn Into Pieces.
Today was our first show, second day in Russia, and my second day without any drugs in my system. I stayed up all night because I couldn't fall asleep and I was feeling a bit sick. My nose started running, my muscles cramped, and I felt nauseous. I started to panic but told myself I'm just not used to sleeping in different places. About 3 hours later I got up and ran to the bathroom instantly vomiting. It was 7 in the morning and I stayed up all night feeling like shit. I needed my cocaine to stop this, it always made everything better. Quietly I went over to my suitcase and started going through my pockets to see if a miracle would happen and I'd find some. "What the hell are you doing?" Ava mumbled from her bed but I just ignored her. "Max are you okay, you're shaking like crazy!" I heard her get up and I twitched when she touched me. "I don't feel good..." I said without breath quickly glancing at her. "Oh my God, you're sweating so much. You might have a fever. You should stay in bed Max" Ava said trying to pick me up. "Don't touch me" I freed myself from her grasp and walked to the bathroom to only vomit more. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yelled and threw the shampoo bottle that was next to me in the bathtub. "Ava can you pass me my suitcase?" I yelled out to her but there was no response. I quickly ran over to it and pulled it inside the bathroom. A second later I had to vomit again. Hot tears were running down my face but I quickly brushed them off and searched in my suitcase for the possibility of drugs.
Trent's Pov
It was 7 in the morning and I was just getting up for the day when I heard someone constantly knocking on my door. I opened the door and saw Ava with a scared expression and tears in her eyes, ready to explode. "What's going on? What happened?" I knew it had to do with Maxinne. Images of her overdosing quickly flashed my mind and I grabbed on to my face holding in my breath. "I don't know what's wrong, Max is really sick and she's throwing up and yelling!" Ava tried to explain as I ran over to their room. I walked in and their room was a mess, clothes were scattered everywhere. I heard crying and painful moaning in the bathroom and quickly walked over to see Max with her suitcase and her clothes all around her. She was shaking and sweating, her eyes were dilated and she looked so pale. "Get lot's of water and bring some light food, she's going through withdrawal!" I told Ava and she quickly ran off. I ran over to Max and pushed her suitcase out of the bathroom, kneeling next to her. "When was the last time you took drugs?" I asked her grabbing on to her face. "I took heroine about 3 hours before I left and coke in the cab..." she replied out of breath. "You're going through withdrawal, just be calm. You have to eat something you're too weak." I hugged her and she laid in my arms sobbing. There was something so beautiful about her as she laid down on the floor in her white blouse and white underwear, crying and in pain. She looked so fragile and broken, torn into pieces. I sat down and leaned against the wall, pulling her with me and making her lay down. Her weak hands gripped on to my body and at this point all I could do is hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay. I didn't even realize how bad she was with drugs up until now. She didn't tell anyone and no one asked, but from the looks of it she was almost as bad as I was a few years ago. "When is this going to end?" she asked, her voice cracking. "It can take a few days" I whispered and she curled her body on top of mine. Ava came in with a few bottles of water, bread and eggs. Ava looked just as scared as Maxinne was. "You're gonna have to eat a bit Max" I pulled her weak body up, she was so out of it. "I'm not hungry...I'm just going to throw it up, there's no point." she said quietly with no hope. "Ava can you tell the rest of your band that you won't be able to play? Tell my crew as well." I said and she looked upset but went and told them. "You gotta do this baby, be strong. The food will make you feel better, I promise." I said and kissed her forehead. She grabbed the bottle of water with her shaky hand and drank almost the entire thing. I lifted up the food and she picked at it slowly but still ate a bit. "I wanna play the show tonight..." She said after forcefully swallowing. "You're in too bad of a condition to play. You need the whole week off." I said and she broke down again. "I'm so sorry Trent! I didn't know this was going to happen..." I turned her around so she sat facing me. "Maxinne, you have no idea how happy I am that you're doing this. You're making changes that I've wanted to happen since day one!" I kissed her wet cheek and she lightly smiled. I picked her up and stood up taking her to her bed. After she was in the bed I brought her the water and sat down next to her, holding on to her hand saw she played with my fingers. Slowly she fell asleep without saying anything. I got up and walked over to my room, completely terrified of what I just witnessed. Memories instantly flashed of me going through the same shit. It's going to be the worst week of her life. No one was there for me when it happened, but I had to help her get through this. After all, she's doing it for me. And what about Violet? A part of me still loved Violet and I couldn't even think of how I'm going to explain all of this to her. I couldn't jump to conclusions though, maybe nothing will happen between Max and I, maybe it's just a phase? Who was I kidding though, I can't life to myself. I just needed time.
I walked out of my room and saw everyone waiting for me in the lobby, including Max's band. "You guys can't play tonight, she's too weak." I said and they all frowned. "Well, we were thinking...how about Ava sings for tonight? She said she knows all the lyrics.." Levii said with everyone staring at him. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked not believing what I just heard. Levii shrugged and looked pissed off. "She's your fucking band-mate, show her some respect for god's sake!" I said and stormed outside, the rest of my band following me. I turned around and found Brett walking behind everyone. "Brett, listen I need you to do me a favor..." Brett nodded, waiting for me to continue "...I need you to take care of Max while we're sound checking and playing the show. She's really weak and needs someone. Just give her food every once in a while and lots of water. And stop her from doing anything crazy, okay?" Brett nodded and took the card to her room. We all got in the bus and drove off. "I can't believe that little shit said that!" I started complaining to Rob. "Why are they so against her?" he asked and I shrugged. "Probably because they know the whole talent of the band is her." I sighed to see Jeordie staring out the window and turning around to face me. "What is wrong with her exactly? Just sick?" he asked and I shook my head. "Withdrawal. It was pretty nasty." I said and rubbed my face just hoping that Brett won't fuck up. "Were you okay dealing with it?" Josh asked curiously. "I had no choice but to deal with it. It did remind me of rehab though..." I said the last part lightly. After that it got quiet until we reached the venue. We set everything up and sound checked for several hours. In between breaks I texted Brett asking about Max's condition, he said she was sleeping most of the time and when she was up he'd make her eat by cracking some jokes and making her forget.
Max's Pov
I've been in bed all day just sleeping and eating and vomiting occasionally. I felt miserable and depressed, Brett's jokes weren't even helping. My body felt light and most of the time I tried to stop myself from thinking about drugs. I just thought about Trent. "Brett, can you pass me my cigarettes and lighter?" I asked with my raspy voice as I sat up picking up the ashtray. I offered one to Brett and he took one gladly. "Hey, thanks for hanging out with me" I said smiling lightly at him while breathing in the smoke that was relaxing me. "Anytime kiddo. Wanna watch some awesome Russian television?" he asked and I nodded. The whole time he made fun of everyone and if I wasn't in this state I'd be crying from his jokes. About an hour later there was a knock at the door and Brett went to open it. Trent came walking in giving us a smile and patting Brett on the shoulder. "How are you feeling?" he asked sitting next to me. "Numb and light." I explained yawning. "I'm switching rooms with Ava for tonight so you'll be in good hands" Trent smiled and turned over to Brett. "Hey Brett can you bring in my suitcase from the other room?" he asked and Brett responded with an annoyed "Yes boss!" and went to get it. A few short minutes later Brett came in exhausted with a huge suit case. Trent went over and helped him, placing it next to the other bed. He thanked Brett and when he left Trent got some water and laid down next to me. He played with my hair until he magically put me to sleep.
Trent's Pov
It was 7 in the morning and I was just getting up for the day when I heard someone constantly knocking on my door. I opened the door and saw Ava with a scared expression and tears in her eyes, ready to explode. "What's going on? What happened?" I knew it had to do with Maxinne. Images of her overdosing quickly flashed my mind and I grabbed on to my face holding in my breath. "I don't know what's wrong, Max is really sick and she's throwing up and yelling!" Ava tried to explain as I ran over to their room. I walked in and their room was a mess, clothes were scattered everywhere. I heard crying and painful moaning in the bathroom and quickly walked over to see Max with her suitcase and her clothes all around her. She was shaking and sweating, her eyes were dilated and she looked so pale. "Get lot's of water and bring some light food, she's going through withdrawal!" I told Ava and she quickly ran off. I ran over to Max and pushed her suitcase out of the bathroom, kneeling next to her. "When was the last time you took drugs?" I asked her grabbing on to her face. "I took heroine about 3 hours before I left and coke in the cab..." she replied out of breath. "You're going through withdrawal, just be calm. You have to eat something you're too weak." I hugged her and she laid in my arms sobbing. There was something so beautiful about her as she laid down on the floor in her white blouse and white underwear, crying and in pain. She looked so fragile and broken, torn into pieces. I sat down and leaned against the wall, pulling her with me and making her lay down. Her weak hands gripped on to my body and at this point all I could do is hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay. I didn't even realize how bad she was with drugs up until now. She didn't tell anyone and no one asked, but from the looks of it she was almost as bad as I was a few years ago. "When is this going to end?" she asked, her voice cracking. "It can take a few days" I whispered and she curled her body on top of mine. Ava came in with a few bottles of water, bread and eggs. Ava looked just as scared as Maxinne was. "You're gonna have to eat a bit Max" I pulled her weak body up, she was so out of it. "I'm not hungry...I'm just going to throw it up, there's no point." she said quietly with no hope. "Ava can you tell the rest of your band that you won't be able to play? Tell my crew as well." I said and she looked upset but went and told them. "You gotta do this baby, be strong. The food will make you feel better, I promise." I said and kissed her forehead. She grabbed the bottle of water with her shaky hand and drank almost the entire thing. I lifted up the food and she picked at it slowly but still ate a bit. "I wanna play the show tonight..." She said after forcefully swallowing. "You're in too bad of a condition to play. You need the whole week off." I said and she broke down again. "I'm so sorry Trent! I didn't know this was going to happen..." I turned her around so she sat facing me. "Maxinne, you have no idea how happy I am that you're doing this. You're making changes that I've wanted to happen since day one!" I kissed her wet cheek and she lightly smiled. I picked her up and stood up taking her to her bed. After she was in the bed I brought her the water and sat down next to her, holding on to her hand saw she played with my fingers. Slowly she fell asleep without saying anything. I got up and walked over to my room, completely terrified of what I just witnessed. Memories instantly flashed of me going through the same shit. It's going to be the worst week of her life. No one was there for me when it happened, but I had to help her get through this. After all, she's doing it for me. And what about Violet? A part of me still loved Violet and I couldn't even think of how I'm going to explain all of this to her. I couldn't jump to conclusions though, maybe nothing will happen between Max and I, maybe it's just a phase? Who was I kidding though, I can't life to myself. I just needed time.
I walked out of my room and saw everyone waiting for me in the lobby, including Max's band. "You guys can't play tonight, she's too weak." I said and they all frowned. "Well, we were thinking...how about Ava sings for tonight? She said she knows all the lyrics.." Levii said with everyone staring at him. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked not believing what I just heard. Levii shrugged and looked pissed off. "She's your fucking band-mate, show her some respect for god's sake!" I said and stormed outside, the rest of my band following me. I turned around and found Brett walking behind everyone. "Brett, listen I need you to do me a favor..." Brett nodded, waiting for me to continue "...I need you to take care of Max while we're sound checking and playing the show. She's really weak and needs someone. Just give her food every once in a while and lots of water. And stop her from doing anything crazy, okay?" Brett nodded and took the card to her room. We all got in the bus and drove off. "I can't believe that little shit said that!" I started complaining to Rob. "Why are they so against her?" he asked and I shrugged. "Probably because they know the whole talent of the band is her." I sighed to see Jeordie staring out the window and turning around to face me. "What is wrong with her exactly? Just sick?" he asked and I shook my head. "Withdrawal. It was pretty nasty." I said and rubbed my face just hoping that Brett won't fuck up. "Were you okay dealing with it?" Josh asked curiously. "I had no choice but to deal with it. It did remind me of rehab though..." I said the last part lightly. After that it got quiet until we reached the venue. We set everything up and sound checked for several hours. In between breaks I texted Brett asking about Max's condition, he said she was sleeping most of the time and when she was up he'd make her eat by cracking some jokes and making her forget.
Max's Pov
I've been in bed all day just sleeping and eating and vomiting occasionally. I felt miserable and depressed, Brett's jokes weren't even helping. My body felt light and most of the time I tried to stop myself from thinking about drugs. I just thought about Trent. "Brett, can you pass me my cigarettes and lighter?" I asked with my raspy voice as I sat up picking up the ashtray. I offered one to Brett and he took one gladly. "Hey, thanks for hanging out with me" I said smiling lightly at him while breathing in the smoke that was relaxing me. "Anytime kiddo. Wanna watch some awesome Russian television?" he asked and I nodded. The whole time he made fun of everyone and if I wasn't in this state I'd be crying from his jokes. About an hour later there was a knock at the door and Brett went to open it. Trent came walking in giving us a smile and patting Brett on the shoulder. "How are you feeling?" he asked sitting next to me. "Numb and light." I explained yawning. "I'm switching rooms with Ava for tonight so you'll be in good hands" Trent smiled and turned over to Brett. "Hey Brett can you bring in my suitcase from the other room?" he asked and Brett responded with an annoyed "Yes boss!" and went to get it. A few short minutes later Brett came in exhausted with a huge suit case. Trent went over and helped him, placing it next to the other bed. He thanked Brett and when he left Trent got some water and laid down next to me. He played with my hair until he magically put me to sleep.