Navigate Me

Talia and I stormed off the bus and just kept walking, we even walked straight past Curtis who looked shocked and freaked out. I couldn't stop shaking or crying, neither could Talia. Fuck man. Mike can go and fuck anyone, but just because we actually do someone other than him, we're whores? Who the fuck does he think he is? The hypocritical sonovabitch! "FUCK!" I screamed obnoxiously loud and planted my feet then fell to the floor and spread out my legs. Talia followed my actions, without the scream. She wrapped her arm around me and I just cuddled into her side. She was my best friend, my sister and seriously the only reason I wasn't dead, or on the streets by now. She's kept me safe. If it wasn't for her, I probably would be a really stupid kid right now, well more so than I am. I picked up a rock and threw it at a random bus and missed. "I wish I could throw this at Mike's head. You at least got to punch him, fucking Precious and Jaime were holding me back." I muttered, swiping my eyes in a frustrated manner and staring at my twin.

"Yeah, but at least you didn't bust open your hand, I got him good and now my fist is hurting like a bitch." Talia hissed as she poked at her hand. "And you did slap him before Jaime grabbed you. So at least you got that it." Talia said with a light smile.

"Seriously though. I really just want to beat the shit out of him. I can't believe him, saying all that shit. He doesn't know what we've gone through, or what we've had to deal with. Fuck him. Our self esteem is fine! I can't believe he said that!" I started going off on a tangent.

"I never thought by coming on this tour would bring back all of this shit. I thought that leaving for months it would help us forget, not have some asshole bring it up without even trying. Ash, I don't think we're ever going to escape our past. Grandma really fucked us up but we have each other and that's all that matters. We don't need to tell anyone, we don't need their fucking pity. We can take care of ourselves. You've had your nose broken, I've had my wrist snapped. Constantly covered in bruises and broken with words. We're stronger now. We can make it, let's just ignore Mike. We don't need him and if he says anything else, well. He'll have a nice knee to the groin!" Talia finished the tangent and laid her head on mine.

"You guys have been through all that?" Jaime asked appearing in front of us with a dominate frown on his facial features. I looked away and shrugged, I never intended him to hear that.

"Yes. That's why we got so pissed back there." Talia stated for the both of us while I got up and turned around. Jaime came up and turned me around to face him and wiped the tears off of my cheeks.

"I'll never hurt you Ash, or you either Talia." Jaime muttered looking from me to my sister. "You know that. Mike is just a jealous bastard. Don't worry about him. He's really kicking himself now though. We all ran off after you guys to look for you. And yes, even Mike." Jaime said the last bit when Talia and I narrowed our eyes. I shimmied out of Jaime's grasp and took a step back, he looked slightly hurt and I flinched. I didn't want to hurt Jaime.

"Jaime... Mike is kind of right though, I am a homewrecker. You already have a girlfriend and what happened between us shouldn't have. You're a good guy... No, you're the best guy I have ever met and I shouldn't have gotten with you, I don't want to ruin your relationship and you don't need to like a girl like me. At all." Talia walked over and wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"Ashley, do not say that okay? Just, don't listen to what Mike said. I swear I'm going to kick his ass for making you think this way. Who the fuck does he think he is?" Talia started getting angry again and released me. Jaime looked between my sister and I, definitely hurt now.

"I'm sorry Jaime." I whispered, looking away again. Jaime walked around us and kept walking. I clenched my fists and held back the tears threatening to spill. Why the fuck did I let Mike get to me. Jaime was an amazing guy and now I hurt him. What if he didn't want to be with Ashley but with me? I just fucked up and sat back down on the concrete. Talia walked after Jaime and stopped him. She said something to him and he looked back towards me, nodded and then walked away. "I told him not to say anything to the rest of the guys about us, okay?" Talia asked, sitting next to me as I placed my head in her lap. "S' kay." I sniffled. Talia stroked my hair and I sat back up. "You like Jaime huh?" Talia asked, giving me her insightful all knowing twin look.

"Yeah. But I shouldn't, he's already somebody elses."

"You know he likes you too. Ash. Just calm down and go talk to him." Talia advised as I shook my head, she sighed knowing how stubborn I am because she's just as bad. "Let's just go to Bring Me's bus. You know they'll let us stay." Talia said pulling me up directing me towards where BMTH's bus is usually parked. We knocked and Curtis opened the door and let us in.

"You guys okay?" He asked. "Mike and Vic came by looking for you."

"We're fine, can we just hang out here for awhile?" I asked, ignoring the question. He nodded his head and we made our way back to the lounge, there Oli was cuddling with a very pretty girl. She perked up and waved enthusiastically. Talia and I waved back awkwardly. "Um, hello?" We said at the same time.

"Oli you're right, they are cute and do the freaky twin thing!" She laughed. I smiled and sat on one of the couches. "I'm Ash." "I'm Talia." We introduced ourselves as she gave us the peace sign. "I'm Kim."

"Kim and I met yesterday. She's proper amazing." Oli gushed with a glint in his eye. Talia and I looked at each other and smiled, that was cute. Kim cooed and placed a kiss on his cheek. We all hung out for awhile before Mike came and found us. Jaime was with him and both of us were looking anywhere but at each other while Talia was permanently glaring at Mike.

"Go. Away." She seethed through her teeth in a voice that even freaked me out.

"Look, I overreacted and I didn't know..." Mike started off before I freaked out.

"You didn't know what?!" I hissed, then looked at Jaime. "Did you tell him?!" I shrieked rounding on him.

"Ash... I swear I didn't tell him anything." Jaime's face was appalled, as though he couldn't believe I'd think he'd betray us. I shrunk back and glared at Mike.

"Don't apologize Michael because I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of everyone elses apology, I'm sick of everyone always fucking with Talia and I. I'm tired of everything. I'm leaving." I muttered the last part and walked away from all the stunned faces on the bus, Talia walked after me but I stopped her. "I just need to go walk around for a bit, okay?"

"Okay?" Talia questioned.

"Don't worry. I'm fine, you know how I get. I just need to take a walk." I gave Tals a tight hug and then pulled away. "I'll be back to sell merch." I said before leaving my twin staring after me. I needed to figure a few things out for myself.