Navigate Me

"What?" Mike, Jaime, and Vic asked all at the same time, looking from me to my twin with confused expressions. Tony walked out of the bunk compartment, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He looked from me to Ash and shrugged, apparently finding it perfectly normal for us to be on the bus.

Me and Ash looked back at the boys, "Whuuuuuut?" We asked back, pretending to be completley clueless. They all cocked their heads to the side and I rolled my eyes. "Don’t hurt yourself trying to make sense of this, boys. Anywho," I sang, "Let's go shopping. Yes?" I proposed.

"Yes!" Jaime exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. I smiled widely at him and Ash gave him a small hug. I looked at her, we still were wearing minimal clothing and it was cold outside. I looked at Vic with an eyebrow raised and he returned the look, making his face look completely whacky, making me bust up laughing.

"Vic, I think you should give my sister a pair of your jeans since we have like, no clothes on the bus and all. I'd ask for some but I think they would look like stupid caprees on me." I paused and pet his head, "You short motherfucker, you."

Vic glared at me playfully, "What is with you ordering me to get your sister clothing? Gosh." He huffed. He then stood on his tip toes, "Shut the fuck up, Tals, you're not that tall!" I slapped his arm in protest to the horrid nick name he had adopted and Ash cackled.

"Shut up, Ashburg!"

Ash glared at me and I shrugged. Even. Tony's head perked up, and he started laughing. "Ahaha, Ashburg? Nice!" Everyone looked at him with wide eyes, having forgotten his presence there. "What? I found it funny. It reminds me of Christmas. Like, 'bah humbug!'" Everyone looked at Tony with confused and worried expressions. "Like, 'bah Ashburg!' I can see it, she's like the new and improved Scrouge!" The room went silent and Jaime scratched his head as I tilted mine to the side. Tony flailed his arms, "Oh! Fuck you guys!"

Mike did his pedo-laugh and looked at me and my sister, who were currently cuddling into Jaime. My head was resting comfortably on his chest. God, he was great. "Well, I'm going to go watch a movie. Have fun shopping." Mike started walking away and coughed 'homo' under his breath, regarding Jaime. I threw whatever was in Vic's hoodie pocket at Mike. Turned out to be Vic's phone. Oops.

Vic looked at me, his mouth open, "What the fuck!" He and Mike exclaimed at the same time, as Vic's phone hit Mike in the gut. Thankfully, Mike caught it. He looked at Vic, "The hell, Vic! Who throughs a phone?"

Vic looked at Mike, his hands up, "It wasn’t me!" He pointed to me, narrowing his eyes. Mike rolled his eyes.

"What? It wasn’t me! Who punches in the bicep, honestly?" I cackled, in a British accent, and then looked at the Fuentes brothers, who were looking at me like I was on drugs. "Whuuuuuut?" My twin laughed, getting my Sean Smith quote. I shrugged at the Pierce The Veils, then patted Jaime's chest, "So, buddy. Let's go shopping."

My sister nodded as Jaime agreed. I smiled up at him as he turned to Vic and ordered, "Vic, go get them clothes!"

Vic groaned, but started walking towards the bunk section of the bus. He mumbled as he walked, knitting his large eyebrows together in frustration, "What am I? You're slave? Why do you gotta pick on the short one all the time?" I looked at him as he walked away, he looked like a little old man.

He came back into where we all were and handed my sister a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, then gave me a pair of very long jeans and Vic's woman-cut Jaws t-shirt. I held the jeans out in front of me- they were six inches too long. I looked at Vic and he smirked. Mike looked back at me and let out his pedo-laugh. "Nice," I rolled my eyes, "I like you in my pants, girrrrrrrrl." He paused and watched me skillfully put them on without showing any of my goods (Yeah, those six years at sleep away summer camp payed off) and he smirked at me again, "But, I have to be honest, you would look even better with me in between."

"Mike, you are a pathetic dog." I rolled my eyes, "So, stop stealing lines from Ludachris and stop looking at me, I feel like you are violating me with your eyes." I shot back, hiding myself behind Jaime who laughed.

"Well, I'd rather violate you with my hands."

I gave him a questionable look and then started laughing, looking at my twin from around Jaime, "I told you he was going to be a pedophile! He wants to physically violate me!"

Ash cackled and looked at Mike, "Mikey, seriously, stop while you're ahead." She shrugged, "Plus, you're never going to get any of this-" She motioned to herself and then me, "Unless..."

Mike's head popped up.

I finished the sentence for my twin, knowing and loving her evil plan, "Unless you come shopping with us." I gave Mike my evil laugh, which made Vic, Tony, and Jaime to laugh. Mike got off his ass and stood in front of us in his little underwear, holding up a finger telling us to wait, and went to go get dressed. He was back within a minute and the four of us- myself, Ash, Jaime, and Mike- were off to go shopping.

~ ~ ~

At the same time, Ash and I sauntered out of our single dressing room, so we could show Jaime and Mike what we had tried on. We allowed them to pick out an outfit for us each and I had to say, I felt completley ridiculous in the one Jaime picked out for me. It was an awkwardly cut, high-necked neon green shirt that was too short for me and showed half my stomach paired with pants that sagged off of me. I looked at my twin and pointed at her, laughing, "Good lord! You look like a hooker!"

She glared at me, in her candy red heels, mini skirt, and skimpy tank top and shoved me with her hip, "Well, at least I don’t look like a freak!" She looked down at herself and rolled her eyes at Mike, who licked his lips, "You'll have you're turn to look like a whore soon, anyway twinny. But seriously, Jaime you have a horrid fashion sense." Jaime scoffed at Ash.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Hey, it could have been worse. It could have been horrible three-quarter length pants, a holiday sweater, and one of those little caps with a propellar on the top." I started laughing along with Ash and Mike. Jaime looked at the floor and pouted, mumbling something about how he liked propellars. I tried to conceal my laughter, "Awh, Hymes, it's okay. I still love you."

"Sweet!" He exclaimed.

My sister and I went back into the dressing room. I shimmied off the horrible clothes Jaime picked out and attempted to figure out a way to cover myself with the pieces of fabric Mike had chosen for me. The boy was ruthless. He was so classy, picking out two inches of fabric that were apparently shorts and a v-cut vest ensemble. I shouted over the door, "Mike! You forgot to give me a shirt, fucker!"

I heard him laugh and imagined him throwing his head back, "I know."

Ash scoffed from next to me and I looked at her, holding up the brightest striped neon pink and yellow v-neck I had ever seen. She shook her head in disgust and shouted, "Oh nuh-uh, Hymes. I am not wearing this. I ain't gonna look like a highlighter." I heard Mike laugh and Jaime mumbled an apology. Ash stuck her head out the door, "I still love you too, though!"

Mike mumbled something that I couldn’t understand and Jaime agreed with him, shouting, "Hey, Ash, come out in what Mike chose for you. Two sexy twins, for the win!"

I looked at my twin, raising an eyebrow, "Did he just say 'for the win'? Forreal? Like, really? Oh lord." I laughed, putting a hand to my over-exposed chest. Ash nodded and laughed. Poor Jaime. Ash and I walked out together, both dressed in minimal clothing.

Mike looked at both of us longingly. "Hey Talia," he drawled, nodding his head back and peering down his nose at me. I raised my eyebrows in response, "I like your shirt. Or lack there of!" He cackled. I rolled my eyes. I mean, Mike has seen me in no clothes, so it really didn’t matter. Jaime looked at Ash and then at me, his eyes lingering slightly too long.

"Watch your eyes, Preciado. You're girlfriend hates us as it is." Ash warned, shaking a finger. I laughed. I loved girls who hated me and my twin for no apparent reason. I shimmied and did a little twirl, holding my arm out in a displaying manner, and Ash did the same. I heard Mike groan.

"Good God, Mike. Keep it under control." Ash said, shooting a look at Mike and then trailing her gaze down to his lap. Mike did his stupid laugh but didn’t deny anything Ash had said about his apparent boner. Ash and I walked back into the dressing room, changing back into the clothes we borrowed from the Fuenti and then dragged the boys across the mall and into Victoria's Secret.

I looked at Mike, before entering the store, "Okay Mike, now, I have to ask you to keep your small penis down and locked in your pants at all times while in here, okay? Thanks."

Jaime laughed, smiling widely, "You sound like a flight attendant!"

"If only!" Mike exclaimed, causing the three of us to give him weird looks.

Ash rolled her eyes, "Mike, I don’t know what kind of airplane, mile-high-club fantasy you're having, but seriously, didn’t you listen to my sister? Keep it in your pants. Preferably not in the up right position." I high fived my twin and had the boys sit down in plush chairs by the dressing rooms as me and Ash made our way to find things to tease Mike with. We were so damn cruel.