A Whole New World
(Not) Trouble
“MOOSE!” Padge, Sarah, and Arby bellowed out into the night.
They had been searching for about half an hour for him, hoping that he didn’t get attacked. “Moose! Where the bloody fuck are you?!” Padge screamed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay! Please come back! You’re my best friend!”
They heard something from behind them, the sound of a twig breaking. They whipped around and saw a small dinosaur.
“Aw, it’s a Triceratops!” Arby said. “Just a baby, by the looks of it.”
Seconds later Moose came from behind the dinosaur, and it jumped on his legs, begging for attention. “Don’t worry about it, Padge. I’m sorry, too.”
“Um, Moose?” Sarah started. “Why is that dinosaur acting like that towards you?”
He smiled. “He’s my new pet! Found his parents dead about a hundred feet from where he found me, poor little bloke. I named him Pablo.”
Sarah and Arby stared at him with looks of wonder while Padge started cracking up. “Pablo!? You fucking would!”
Moose bent down and picked up Pablo like a dog. “Who’s a good dino? Who’s a good dino? I think it’s you.”
The animal licked his face. “Want to pet him, Padge?”
“Fuck yeah!” he exclaimed, and started to rub the dinosaur on the head.
“Moose… you can’t keep that thing…” Sarah said.
He scoffed. “I’m a grown man, I can do whatever I want. If I want to keep a dinosaur as a pet and name it Pablo, I will.”
She shrugged. “Do you know how big that thing will get? That’s all I’m saying. It’s not like a puppy, that’ll only grow to four or five feet. Triceratops get to be about thirty feet long and nine feet high.”
“Oh… shit…” Moose stuttered. “Well, I’ll figure something out. He’s too cute to leave now. And look, he really likes me.”
She rolled her eyes as Moose put Pablo back in the ground and tried to get him to roll over.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
“Kelly, wake up,” Jay whispered, shaking her arm. “We have company.”
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
“Dr. Malcolm…” Deirdre whispered when they pulled apart.
“It’s Ian,” he insisted.
She shook her head. “I… don’t know why I just did that…”
“My guess is that you’re tired of the same old thing,” Ian said. “Simple as that.”
“But… what about Padge?” She started. “What about-“
“You can’t control your gut instincts,” he interrupted. “Please, we have an attraction, you can’t just deny it.”
She looked at him and bit her lip. “This is wrong… but right.”
“Exactly,” he whispered.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
There was two men at the bottom of the tree. They weren’t with them originally, but they were dressed like they too were on an expedition of some sort.
Kelly woke from her sleep as Matt was yelling down to them, “Why the fuck do you want us down there?”
The man that seemed to have been in charge replied, “Because, we believe you to be an interference to our work. How do we know you’re not spying on us? Just listen to your accents, you could be from a foreign corporation, here to commit scientific espionage.”
“Fuck you!” Jay exclaimed. “We’re in a Metal band from Wales and we landed here on accident. Now shut the fuck up and go away!”
The other man, who seemed quite old and a bit too large to be trekking with dinosaurs, pulled out a gun. “Do what Dodgeson says and nobody gets hurt.”
“Just like a bad cliché,” Matt hissed. “What the fuck do you want from us?”
“Well frankly,” Dodgeson started, “We want to make sure that you don’t go blabbing about our research here. So come down from that tree and follow us or we’ll shoot.”
“How do we know we can trust you?” Jay asked. “How do we know that you won’t throw us to the raptors the second we get down there?”
They chuckled before Dodgeson continued, “You have bigger worries than raptors. You see, if you don’t come down from there, you’ll definitely die. If you do, you have a chance of survival.”
Matt shook his head angrily before turning over and starting down the tree. Kelly was next, followed by Jay.
“That’s better,” Dodgeson said. “Now, if you’ll follow us to our encampment, please?”
They didn’t move, so his assistant pushed Kelly forward with the base of his rifle.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” Jay and Matt said at the same time, and hesitantly started walking.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBMFVBMFVBFMVBFMV
Moose was walking ahead with Arby and Pablo, leaving Padge and Sarah trailing behind.
“So, Dr. Harding… are you and Dr. Malcolm…” Padge started.
She laughed. “Together? Used to be. It just never seems to work out between us.”
“Why’s that?” he asked.
She sighed. “Well, I guess we’re just too different. We’re both adventurous, but he’s afraid of the potential danger that comes with the adventure. Me on the other hand… the danger is what I live for. What about you and Deirdre?”
“Me and Deirdre have been together for… ever, really.” He said. “To tell the truth though, it’s getting a little old. I guess we’re afraid to break up with each other because we have so much time invested in our relationship but… fuck. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me.”
“I doubt it’s just you,” Sarah scoffed. “Have you seen the way Deirdre and Ian have been with each other?”
He chuckled. “And I thought I could ignore it. Apparently not. Oh well. Bullet For My Valentine has been busier now than we’ve ever been, I can’t afford time to try and save our relationship. Maybe I should just give up on love until our record company fucks us over or something.”
Sarah smirked. “Or, maybe you could look somewhere else. Somewhere unusual. Somewhere you’d never expect to find it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean…”
She flashed a mischievous grin and skipped ahead to catch up with the others.
They had been searching for about half an hour for him, hoping that he didn’t get attacked. “Moose! Where the bloody fuck are you?!” Padge screamed. “Look, I’m sorry, okay! Please come back! You’re my best friend!”
They heard something from behind them, the sound of a twig breaking. They whipped around and saw a small dinosaur.
“Aw, it’s a Triceratops!” Arby said. “Just a baby, by the looks of it.”
Seconds later Moose came from behind the dinosaur, and it jumped on his legs, begging for attention. “Don’t worry about it, Padge. I’m sorry, too.”
“Um, Moose?” Sarah started. “Why is that dinosaur acting like that towards you?”
He smiled. “He’s my new pet! Found his parents dead about a hundred feet from where he found me, poor little bloke. I named him Pablo.”
Sarah and Arby stared at him with looks of wonder while Padge started cracking up. “Pablo!? You fucking would!”
Moose bent down and picked up Pablo like a dog. “Who’s a good dino? Who’s a good dino? I think it’s you.”
The animal licked his face. “Want to pet him, Padge?”
“Fuck yeah!” he exclaimed, and started to rub the dinosaur on the head.
“Moose… you can’t keep that thing…” Sarah said.
He scoffed. “I’m a grown man, I can do whatever I want. If I want to keep a dinosaur as a pet and name it Pablo, I will.”
She shrugged. “Do you know how big that thing will get? That’s all I’m saying. It’s not like a puppy, that’ll only grow to four or five feet. Triceratops get to be about thirty feet long and nine feet high.”
“Oh… shit…” Moose stuttered. “Well, I’ll figure something out. He’s too cute to leave now. And look, he really likes me.”
She rolled her eyes as Moose put Pablo back in the ground and tried to get him to roll over.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
“Kelly, wake up,” Jay whispered, shaking her arm. “We have company.”
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
“Dr. Malcolm…” Deirdre whispered when they pulled apart.
“It’s Ian,” he insisted.
She shook her head. “I… don’t know why I just did that…”
“My guess is that you’re tired of the same old thing,” Ian said. “Simple as that.”
“But… what about Padge?” She started. “What about-“
“You can’t control your gut instincts,” he interrupted. “Please, we have an attraction, you can’t just deny it.”
She looked at him and bit her lip. “This is wrong… but right.”
“Exactly,” he whispered.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVMBFMV
There was two men at the bottom of the tree. They weren’t with them originally, but they were dressed like they too were on an expedition of some sort.
Kelly woke from her sleep as Matt was yelling down to them, “Why the fuck do you want us down there?”
The man that seemed to have been in charge replied, “Because, we believe you to be an interference to our work. How do we know you’re not spying on us? Just listen to your accents, you could be from a foreign corporation, here to commit scientific espionage.”
“Fuck you!” Jay exclaimed. “We’re in a Metal band from Wales and we landed here on accident. Now shut the fuck up and go away!”
The other man, who seemed quite old and a bit too large to be trekking with dinosaurs, pulled out a gun. “Do what Dodgeson says and nobody gets hurt.”
“Just like a bad cliché,” Matt hissed. “What the fuck do you want from us?”
“Well frankly,” Dodgeson started, “We want to make sure that you don’t go blabbing about our research here. So come down from that tree and follow us or we’ll shoot.”
“How do we know we can trust you?” Jay asked. “How do we know that you won’t throw us to the raptors the second we get down there?”
They chuckled before Dodgeson continued, “You have bigger worries than raptors. You see, if you don’t come down from there, you’ll definitely die. If you do, you have a chance of survival.”
Matt shook his head angrily before turning over and starting down the tree. Kelly was next, followed by Jay.
“That’s better,” Dodgeson said. “Now, if you’ll follow us to our encampment, please?”
They didn’t move, so his assistant pushed Kelly forward with the base of his rifle.
“Don’t fucking touch her,” Jay and Matt said at the same time, and hesitantly started walking.
BFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBFMVBMFVBMFVBMFVBFMVBFMV
Moose was walking ahead with Arby and Pablo, leaving Padge and Sarah trailing behind.
“So, Dr. Harding… are you and Dr. Malcolm…” Padge started.
She laughed. “Together? Used to be. It just never seems to work out between us.”
“Why’s that?” he asked.
She sighed. “Well, I guess we’re just too different. We’re both adventurous, but he’s afraid of the potential danger that comes with the adventure. Me on the other hand… the danger is what I live for. What about you and Deirdre?”
“Me and Deirdre have been together for… ever, really.” He said. “To tell the truth though, it’s getting a little old. I guess we’re afraid to break up with each other because we have so much time invested in our relationship but… fuck. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me.”
“I doubt it’s just you,” Sarah scoffed. “Have you seen the way Deirdre and Ian have been with each other?”
He chuckled. “And I thought I could ignore it. Apparently not. Oh well. Bullet For My Valentine has been busier now than we’ve ever been, I can’t afford time to try and save our relationship. Maybe I should just give up on love until our record company fucks us over or something.”
Sarah smirked. “Or, maybe you could look somewhere else. Somewhere unusual. Somewhere you’d never expect to find it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You mean…”
She flashed a mischievous grin and skipped ahead to catch up with the others.