Pocky Killed My Reputation In The Long Run But I Love It Anyways
Part Five and author's note
Tom told me that Savannah asked him out the previous week. Then she got hospitalized for the second or third time this year, but I can’t be sure because I haven’t known her that long. The first time I knew that she was hospitalized was when she cut herself... on purpose. She was- and still is- suicidal, and that’s one of the reasons I’m going into the mental practice when I get older. You’d think I’d be attending a psychologist instead of being one, but it’s what I want to do, especially after a few of my friends (and a couple of their friends) have or wanted to commit suicide. But moving on. The second time I knew that she was in the hospital was when she overdosed about three days before all of this happened. It didn’t do anything really bad to her, since it was Advil (when I told my dad about it, he told me, “It’s damn near impossible to kill yourself with Advil”), but she still ended up in the hospital somehow. Probably for the psych ward, but I’m not entirely sure.
I remember telling Savannah about the whole ordeal after it happened while she was in the hospital (she called me) and she said she really didn’t care. He was the one who actually asked her out in the first place. Mike had told me that when I told him too, but Shi was the first one I told. He actually said not to tell anyone, but after I told Mike (and Mike told me EVERYTHING), I began to tell all my friend. They gave me high fives and hugs because I seriously “scored” with the guy I liked- but then I told them about what he did to Savannah. They all have me more hugs, because I made out with a lying, cheating jerk.
I don’t like him so much anymore, mostly since his friends Alice (who I now think is a complete I-can’t-think-of-a word-bad-enough thankyouverymuch) said I was stalking him and that I apparently had some sort of... what was it now...? Oh yes. She said I was mentally unstable. I can’t say I blame her, though. I was hanging around, trying to get his attention a lot. I asked for a hug every chance I could get. I called him every day, still. That last one didn’t change much, but I couldn’t believe she’d say something like that. I wasn’t stalking anyone, and if it seemed like I was, maybe she should’ve taken into consideration that he gave me his number and his address (I’d never gone to his house) and that I had a right to call him. I’m not a pushover. I only forgive the people who don’t think they know everything, and Alice didn’t know much about what happened, even though she’s “best friends with Tom.” The only one who could give her my perspective was me, and she wouldn’t listen to what /i had to say. Once, she asked me what happened with him standing right there so she’d know I wasn’t lying (like I would- I don’t lie unless I have to) and I tried my best to get away, saying, “I really have to get to my next class, Alice. I don’t want to be late, especially since my classroom’s way over there.” I was pointing to the eighth-grade wing, and we were in the ninth-grade wing. I started to walk away, like Tom had done when I asked him out, and she took my shoulder like Sam had done when he tried to leave. Funny how things happen so similarly.
“No. You tell me what happened.”
“I told you, we made out. That’s about all there is to it,” Tom said. Alice gave him that look that said, “Who asked you?” She had asked me about what had happened between Tom and me, but I can’t blame him for speaking up. I have to say, that was about the nicest thing someone’s done to get me out of trouble. I don’t mean like big huge you’re-gonna-get-expelled trouble with the school, I mean big huge you’re-gonna-get-hurt-bad trouble with people. Alice wasn’t the type of person to be taken lightly, but I did. I just shrugged it off after I got her note. I read it, crumpled it up, threw it away, wrote another one back,and by the time I was done, I felt fine. I wasn’t mad anymore, I felt like I could take on the world- or at least shake off that nagging feeling telling me that something bad would happen if I tell her everything about my life. I mean something bad like getting hurt mentally or physically, nasty words about me through the school, rumours spread- you know how teenagers are. I didn’t take it personally. It was a new school, with new people and new things to do, and Alice wasn’t on my list of friends- but she’d probably make it as one of the people I just didn’t want to be around.
Now, Tom and I rarely talk to each other, and when we do, it’s usually just, “Good morning” (or hey, or whatever) but I mostly see him in the hall talking to Alice or his other friends. Today, I saw him and realised that he was still amazingly hot, but I’d given up on him. This story has a happy ending though- I’m dating my friend Arianna now. (Remember- I’m bisexual)
I still remember his eyes- so calm, collected while I was going nuts the day we were together.
I remember the kiss on my cheek, the one that led to chaos.
I will always remember- that day, I had my first real kiss from a guy.
But for sure, I will always remember that my cat was two feet taller than me for the first time three weeks ago as of today.
November 28, 2006, the day it happened.
December 18, 2006, the day I totaled the damage- ten indelible scars on each leg and three on my left wrist- far from the vein, yet.
December 19. 2006, the day I finally got over my obsession and gave up on Tom.
Author’s note-
Mike was my friend at one point- and he even dated Jessica (my best friend) for a while (they still are, apparently, and Jess is being all crabby-assed at me for some reason). Arianna and I are still dating, and it’s going well except that she hasn’t been online much so we haven’t talked in about a week or more. Shi is still, and always will be, one of my good friends and so is Savannah. Nobody mentioned in this story is fictional. The only thing that might not be true is some things said- But then, nobody remembers everything ever said to them. Only one of the people mentioned in this memory knows I’m writing this, and that’s Jessica. I’m not entirely sure she was mentioned in this either... I actually don’t think I ever did put her in. Sorry, Jessica!
And Tom’s not our drummer anymore. He had to drop out a week after we met, but he didn’t say why. Mike was our drummer after that, but obviously not anymore. We now need a bassist (which my friend Mari might take the position of) and of course, our drummer spot’s open now. We're not even doing Chicago Boulevard anymore- It's now a band with me and my friend Bekah called Hard-Boiled Hearts. Mari still might join.
Oh, now I remember- the only REALLY fictional part in this entire personal account was my name- it’s not really Ozi. You don’t get to know what it is, though, but if you want to know... tough tooties. Just call me Ozi anyways.
Over and out,
Ozi
P.S. When Tom was playing my guitar, he never did tune it back.
I remember telling Savannah about the whole ordeal after it happened while she was in the hospital (she called me) and she said she really didn’t care. He was the one who actually asked her out in the first place. Mike had told me that when I told him too, but Shi was the first one I told. He actually said not to tell anyone, but after I told Mike (and Mike told me EVERYTHING), I began to tell all my friend. They gave me high fives and hugs because I seriously “scored” with the guy I liked- but then I told them about what he did to Savannah. They all have me more hugs, because I made out with a lying, cheating jerk.
I don’t like him so much anymore, mostly since his friends Alice (who I now think is a complete I-can’t-think-of-a word-bad-enough thankyouverymuch) said I was stalking him and that I apparently had some sort of... what was it now...? Oh yes. She said I was mentally unstable. I can’t say I blame her, though. I was hanging around, trying to get his attention a lot. I asked for a hug every chance I could get. I called him every day, still. That last one didn’t change much, but I couldn’t believe she’d say something like that. I wasn’t stalking anyone, and if it seemed like I was, maybe she should’ve taken into consideration that he gave me his number and his address (I’d never gone to his house) and that I had a right to call him. I’m not a pushover. I only forgive the people who don’t think they know everything, and Alice didn’t know much about what happened, even though she’s “best friends with Tom.” The only one who could give her my perspective was me, and she wouldn’t listen to what /i had to say. Once, she asked me what happened with him standing right there so she’d know I wasn’t lying (like I would- I don’t lie unless I have to) and I tried my best to get away, saying, “I really have to get to my next class, Alice. I don’t want to be late, especially since my classroom’s way over there.” I was pointing to the eighth-grade wing, and we were in the ninth-grade wing. I started to walk away, like Tom had done when I asked him out, and she took my shoulder like Sam had done when he tried to leave. Funny how things happen so similarly.
“No. You tell me what happened.”
“I told you, we made out. That’s about all there is to it,” Tom said. Alice gave him that look that said, “Who asked you?” She had asked me about what had happened between Tom and me, but I can’t blame him for speaking up. I have to say, that was about the nicest thing someone’s done to get me out of trouble. I don’t mean like big huge you’re-gonna-get-expelled trouble with the school, I mean big huge you’re-gonna-get-hurt-bad trouble with people. Alice wasn’t the type of person to be taken lightly, but I did. I just shrugged it off after I got her note. I read it, crumpled it up, threw it away, wrote another one back,and by the time I was done, I felt fine. I wasn’t mad anymore, I felt like I could take on the world- or at least shake off that nagging feeling telling me that something bad would happen if I tell her everything about my life. I mean something bad like getting hurt mentally or physically, nasty words about me through the school, rumours spread- you know how teenagers are. I didn’t take it personally. It was a new school, with new people and new things to do, and Alice wasn’t on my list of friends- but she’d probably make it as one of the people I just didn’t want to be around.
Now, Tom and I rarely talk to each other, and when we do, it’s usually just, “Good morning” (or hey, or whatever) but I mostly see him in the hall talking to Alice or his other friends. Today, I saw him and realised that he was still amazingly hot, but I’d given up on him. This story has a happy ending though- I’m dating my friend Arianna now. (Remember- I’m bisexual)
I still remember his eyes- so calm, collected while I was going nuts the day we were together.
I remember the kiss on my cheek, the one that led to chaos.
I will always remember- that day, I had my first real kiss from a guy.
But for sure, I will always remember that my cat was two feet taller than me for the first time three weeks ago as of today.
November 28, 2006, the day it happened.
December 18, 2006, the day I totaled the damage- ten indelible scars on each leg and three on my left wrist- far from the vein, yet.
December 19. 2006, the day I finally got over my obsession and gave up on Tom.
Author’s note-
Mike was my friend at one point- and he even dated Jessica (my best friend) for a while (they still are, apparently, and Jess is being all crabby-assed at me for some reason). Arianna and I are still dating, and it’s going well except that she hasn’t been online much so we haven’t talked in about a week or more. Shi is still, and always will be, one of my good friends and so is Savannah. Nobody mentioned in this story is fictional. The only thing that might not be true is some things said- But then, nobody remembers everything ever said to them. Only one of the people mentioned in this memory knows I’m writing this, and that’s Jessica. I’m not entirely sure she was mentioned in this either... I actually don’t think I ever did put her in. Sorry, Jessica!
And Tom’s not our drummer anymore. He had to drop out a week after we met, but he didn’t say why. Mike was our drummer after that, but obviously not anymore. We now need a bassist (which my friend Mari might take the position of) and of course, our drummer spot’s open now. We're not even doing Chicago Boulevard anymore- It's now a band with me and my friend Bekah called Hard-Boiled Hearts. Mari still might join.
Oh, now I remember- the only REALLY fictional part in this entire personal account was my name- it’s not really Ozi. You don’t get to know what it is, though, but if you want to know... tough tooties. Just call me Ozi anyways.
Over and out,
Ozi
P.S. When Tom was playing my guitar, he never did tune it back.