In Fate's Hands

“Charlotte! Where the hell are you?!” I yelled as soon as the glass door swung shut behind me.

“Yes?” She looked up from where she was sitting. I walked strait over to her and glared down at her.

“You are the most annoying, pain-in-the-ass, cannot keep your mouth shut, ruins everything, sister with a talent for making me feel like a pile of shit!” I growled.

“Elise what are you talking about?”

“I’ve been dating Robert almost a month now, and I have not felt bad about not telling him the truth about me until last night. When you opened your big fat mouth!”

“Oh so letting him think you are something you aren’t is better than having him know the truth? You don’t believe in love, you don’t think it is worth the heartbreak. So why does it matter!?”

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“There is only one reason for not wanting to hurt him. You are falling in love with him!”

“I like him. That doesn’t mean that I’m falling in love with him. Let it go.”

“Romance isn’t a bad thing.”

“How about you just do me a favor and stay out of my life okay Charlotte?”

“Whatever you want, Elise.”

“Okay you two, enough. We have a client coming.” Emily said as she jumped in between us. I glanced towards the door where the lady was about to walk in.

“Later” I snarled at Charlotte before sitting down at the large conference table.

“Good morning” The lady cheerfully said as she walked in.

“Good morning.” My mom, Emily, and Charlotte echoed her. I waved, not wanting to display my anger towards Charlotte in front of the client. Emily let her over to the conference table before disappearing to go get the invitations to make sure they were what she wanted.

“So have you picked everything out yet Charlotte?” The lady asked.

“Not yet, I’m getting there though.”

“Well I’m glad to hear that.”

“What do you think of these?” Emily asked.
“They are beautiful.”

“We followed your order exactly.” After that as the conversation deepened I became absorbed in my thoughts and wasn’t paying that much attention to them at all. My mind was elsewhere, thinking about something completely different from what they were.

“Elise!” I heard my mom’s voice say.

“What?” I asked as I snapped myself out of it. I noticed the client had left while I was deep in thought.

“Your cell phone is ringing!” I looked at the caller-id.

“Oh. Thanks mom.” I flipped it open. “Hey.”

“Hey. Since it’s almost lunch time and all, I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat with me?” Rob’s voice asked.

“Yeah, I’d love to.” We agreed on where to meet and what time. I knew I’d have to leave in the next few minutes to get there in time.

“So are you going to tell him?” Charlotte asked,

“No I am not going to tell him Charlotte. I already told you that.”

“Well you really should.”

“It is not your life is it?! Now butt the hell out or else I will make you butt the hell out!” Before she could say anything else I stormed out and got into my car. I started the engine and drove off.

Apparently I was acting differently around Rob because he brought it up at lunch.

“Elise is there something wrong?” He asked finally.

“Uh no. Why do you ask?” I responded.

“Well you are acting, different today. You haven’t been the same since you talked to Charlotte last night. Did I do something wrong?” He got such a cute puzzled expression as he asked if he had done something wrong that I had to smile.

“You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. It’s just something that I’m dealing with. Don’t worry about it.”

“You said that I shouldn’t worry about it, but you know I am not going to listen.”
“Yeah I know. I really wish you would though. It’s complicated.”

“I’m a good listener.”

“I know you are, it’s just, hard to explain.”

“Elise I don’t care what the bloody hell it is, you can tell me. It’s obviously bothering you.” He really looked like he meant it 100%. But he couldn’t have even guessed at what it really was.

“I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I’m just tired.”

“Okay, I’ll let it go then.”

“Thank you.”

“So I was thinking. Next month I sort of have this press thing in L.A. and I was wondering if you’d come with me.”

“You are asking me to go to L.A. with you?”

“Yes I am.”

“Oh wow. I didn’t see that coming.”

“I didn’t think you would.”

“Um sure. I’d love to.” He smiled and it nearly made my heart stop right then and there. By the time I got back to work Charlotte was out picking up things for an upcoming wedding, so it was just my mom and Emily.

I talked to them about what I should do as far as the whole do I tell Rob or do I continue to keep it a secret thing. They didn’t really help much since neither of them really knew what to say. It hadn’t made them feel guilty for keeping it to themselves.

“I told your dad.” My mom reminded me.

“Yeah but you two had been dating for a few months, and it’s not like dad is completely normal either mom.”

“You have a good point.”

“I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I were you, so don’t look at me.” Emily had responded before emerging herself back into the plans in front of her.

“Thanks for the help you two.” I sarcastically said.

Finally I found myself sitting in my quiet living room thinking to myself. I weighed the pros and cons. The cons won. But it was making me feel horrible to keep it a secret. Maybe what seemed like the safer choice wasn’t the better choice.

Best case scenario- I tell Rob and he doesn’t care. It doesn’t scare him. He doesn’t think I’m a freak. He decides I’m still the same person that he has been dating for a month. That I’m just slightly different than he is.

Worst case scenario- I tell Rob and he cares and walks away right then. He thinks I’m a freak or worse. He hates my guts. And I never see him again.

I wanted to act like a coward and keep this a secret. I wanted to give this a shot, to see if we could actually stay dating for more than a few months. I wanted to forget about all of it. I wanted everything to be normal. I wanted him to think I am normal.

But that isn’t want I needed, what he needed, or even what I did. Instead I reached for the phone and dialed his number. “Hello?” He answered.

“Rob can you come over? I need to talk to you about something important.”

“Yeah I’ll be over as soon as I can. Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“Okay I’ll be right over.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.” After that I just waited. I waited to deliver the news that would either tear us apart, or let us actually continue to date with out secrets. And waiting was all I could do for now.