It Was You From the Start

By the end of the page, I was dying inside. My heart was aching. I guessed it was a good thing that I found this. I would rather have, than leave it here for someone else to find and throw it away.

I put both books into my oversized Roxy bag, careful not to rip any other pages-though my mom's was bad enought already. As I put the books away I took out Toby's leash, called him over and strapped it to his colar. I led him downstairs and out the front door.

My dad was in the car, motor running. I thought I'd make him wait just a little longer. I put Toby's leash around my wrist and pulled my camera out of my bag. I turned it on and snapped a picture of the front of the house. In all its perfection, there was so many mistakes. The light yellow, two story house reminded me only of my mother which led to sadness. Part of me was actually glad to run away from it.

I thought of a time when me and my mom were sitting out on the white colored front deck on the Fourth of July watching as firewords went off at the park, almost five blocks away. We were eating popsicles. My's mom's purple, mine blue. That was how it always was.

Another tear slid down my face. I wiped away quicker than the last, because my dad was behind me. I didn't like crying and I didn't like anybody to see me cry. To all of my friends, I was the strongest one they knew. On my last day of school, all of them were crying. I hadn't shed a single tear.

I turned toward the car to see my dad watching me intently. He was probably trying to figure when I was finally going to break down onto my knees and cry my eyes out. I tried not to. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me, especially when I knew he didn't.