Status: Completed, after eleven months and four days. XD
Baby Just Say Yes
Letting Go
"Where are we going, Mommy?" Jaimee asked Rayleigh as she pulled on a hoodie. It promised to be a fairly chilly night by Southern California weather's standards, and she wasn't planning on being at the house anytime soon.
"It's just Mommy that's going this time, guys," Brian told them, picking them both up in his arms and kissing the tops of their heads. "You guys are going to come with the guys and me to Norm's for dinner."
"Yay! Norm's!" Jaimee said happily. She loved eating there; though she didn't know what it was she actually ate. Her daddy always ordered for her because she wasn't sure what she wanted. Cayden whined a little bit, but he went along with it.
"Why don't you two go upstairs and get ready?" Rayleigh asked them, smiling warmly at them. They listened, and thudded up the stairs towards their respective rooms.
"Be careful," Brian murmured to Rayleigh, wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled and nodded.
"I will be, Brian," She told him.
"And take as long as you need. I don't care if you're there until midnight; it's something you need to do for yourself."
"Thank you for the support, Brian," She said sincerely as she pecked his lips lightly. "It means a lot to me. I love you."
"I love you to, babe." He replied, kissing her lips lightly before walking away and up the stairs to help their kids get ready. With that, Rayleigh walked out of the house towards her car, a new Mazurati and drove in complete silence. Her destination wasn't far off; just a few miles complicated by city traffic because of the rush hour. But she got there in record time, running a few red lights and cutting off more than a few people who were sure to be ticked off at her.
She finally parked her car in a parking lot right outside of a grassy meadow with gravestones lined up in rows, some sections fenced off because they were designated for certain families.
Rayleigh walked in silence through the rows of headstones until she reached one in particular.
Here lies Richard Coslov
Beloved husband.
Born on August 16th, 1952
Died: June 24th, 2007
"You've been dead for two years now, Father" She said to the grave, not kneeling down to it, but rather looking at it head on. "And for the last two years, I've felt nothing but unease; like everything was left unfinished. I've put off coming here for a long time. I didn't want to see you; didn't want to remember you. And I guess in a way that makes me sad. You were supposed to be the kind of father who loved his daughter, not the kind of father you were. You asked me before you died if I wondered 'why'. I lied when I told you that I gave up; I really did want to know. Hell, father; I still want to know .I don't regret watching you die; it gave me a certain amount of relief. But that doesn't take away from the pain that will always be a part of my life because I can't have what my children have had all their lives--a loving father. I never had that from you, Father. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. But I try not to dwell on that, because I'd rather not. But neither of us were ever the type of person to beat around the bush, so I'm going to get out what I've wanted to say for a couple of months now. I forgive you, Father. I'm not forgiving you because I've gotten over it; I'm forgiving you because I know that's the first step to getting over it. Maybe someday I can think of you as I saw you when I was seven; like a king in his castle, who protected his queen and princess. But that won't be for a long time. I want to forgive you, Father, because I'm finally letting myself let go. I have to leave now; my family needs me. I probably won't come to see you again, but I'm sure you won't mind. I wouldn't care if you did mind. Goodbye, father; this time, it's for good."
And with that final goodbye and a sense of clarity, Rayleigh walked away from her father's grave with the wind blowing her hair as she walked to the car.
"It's just Mommy that's going this time, guys," Brian told them, picking them both up in his arms and kissing the tops of their heads. "You guys are going to come with the guys and me to Norm's for dinner."
"Yay! Norm's!" Jaimee said happily. She loved eating there; though she didn't know what it was she actually ate. Her daddy always ordered for her because she wasn't sure what she wanted. Cayden whined a little bit, but he went along with it.
"Why don't you two go upstairs and get ready?" Rayleigh asked them, smiling warmly at them. They listened, and thudded up the stairs towards their respective rooms.
"Be careful," Brian murmured to Rayleigh, wrapping his arms around her waist. She smiled and nodded.
"I will be, Brian," She told him.
"And take as long as you need. I don't care if you're there until midnight; it's something you need to do for yourself."
"Thank you for the support, Brian," She said sincerely as she pecked his lips lightly. "It means a lot to me. I love you."
"I love you to, babe." He replied, kissing her lips lightly before walking away and up the stairs to help their kids get ready. With that, Rayleigh walked out of the house towards her car, a new Mazurati and drove in complete silence. Her destination wasn't far off; just a few miles complicated by city traffic because of the rush hour. But she got there in record time, running a few red lights and cutting off more than a few people who were sure to be ticked off at her.
She finally parked her car in a parking lot right outside of a grassy meadow with gravestones lined up in rows, some sections fenced off because they were designated for certain families.
Rayleigh walked in silence through the rows of headstones until she reached one in particular.
Here lies Richard Coslov
Beloved husband.
Born on August 16th, 1952
Died: June 24th, 2007
"You've been dead for two years now, Father" She said to the grave, not kneeling down to it, but rather looking at it head on. "And for the last two years, I've felt nothing but unease; like everything was left unfinished. I've put off coming here for a long time. I didn't want to see you; didn't want to remember you. And I guess in a way that makes me sad. You were supposed to be the kind of father who loved his daughter, not the kind of father you were. You asked me before you died if I wondered 'why'. I lied when I told you that I gave up; I really did want to know. Hell, father; I still want to know .I don't regret watching you die; it gave me a certain amount of relief. But that doesn't take away from the pain that will always be a part of my life because I can't have what my children have had all their lives--a loving father. I never had that from you, Father. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. But I try not to dwell on that, because I'd rather not. But neither of us were ever the type of person to beat around the bush, so I'm going to get out what I've wanted to say for a couple of months now. I forgive you, Father. I'm not forgiving you because I've gotten over it; I'm forgiving you because I know that's the first step to getting over it. Maybe someday I can think of you as I saw you when I was seven; like a king in his castle, who protected his queen and princess. But that won't be for a long time. I want to forgive you, Father, because I'm finally letting myself let go. I have to leave now; my family needs me. I probably won't come to see you again, but I'm sure you won't mind. I wouldn't care if you did mind. Goodbye, father; this time, it's for good."
And with that final goodbye and a sense of clarity, Rayleigh walked away from her father's grave with the wind blowing her hair as she walked to the car.
♠ ♠ ♠
I know it's been a couple of months; I lost inspiration for the story. :(And then I started thinking, and a sequel won't work with this story. It's already been completely told. However, I will probably start another, alternate Rayleigh/Brian story in the near future; maybe from a different time period or something. I'm not sure, it's just an idea. But let me know what you think.