Let's Hear It for America's Pastime

[title credits go to A Little Less “Sixteen Candles”, A Little More Pete-Wants-To-Get-Laid by Fall Out Boy.]

Ugh. Sooo many girls.

It was like Christmas dinner, where there are always multiple pies, thousands of homemade cookies and so much chocolate Willy Wonka would be jealous.

Seriously. It was weird for me.

The first girl to come up to me was a petite girl with platinum blonde hair and four inch plastic nails. Not to mention the dress that wasn’t a dress that exposed so much of her body, I wasn’t sure if I was stuck in some bad porno.

Ick.

Don’t get me wrong, she was what some would call hot. But really, in less than twenty minutes she’d managed to get herself drunk. And not just any kind of drunk… the hammered kind of drunk.

I think her name was Becky.

Well, anyway, she wobbled from her place on an oversized couch over to me, standing awkwardly in the middle of the brightly colored room.

“Heeeeeyy, cutie!” she said. Or rather… tried to say. Her voice was so high pitched, I’m surprised dogs weren’t howling in the background. She giggled and put a hand on my chest (which was a little bit disturbing) and brought her face close to mine.

“Excuse me…” I told her, trying to be polite. I shoved her lanky arms away from me and decided she was out.

That’s when I spotted her. Kristine. She was seated with another girl (well duh… I was the only guy here besides Mr. Prissy and some bulky looking camera guys) at a small table decorated with orange flowers and a pink vase in the center. Quicker than should have been nessecary, I made my way over to them.

The other girl was plain but pretty at the same time. Her hair was tied in a loose mess of chocolate brown hair, and her face was cute and childish. I was almost positive her name was Alicia. As soon as she spotted me, she smoothed out the front of her classic black dress nervously.

“Oh hey, Patrick. Kris and I were just talking about your new album,” she said, scotching her chair over as I pulled one of my own up to the table. I smiled at her, grateful for a chance to talk to some sober people.

“You guys like it?” I asked, looking back at Kristine and noting the way she folded her hands on the table. She smirked.

“Of course. It’s pretty hard not to like it. The music is excellent. It sort of reminds me of your old stuff mixed with the new. Like nostalgia,” she commented, twiddling her thumbs a little.

Wow. I’d never really thought about our CD like that before. It brought an immediate smile to my lips. Alicia was the next to speak.

“Yeah. And not to mention those killer vocals,” she said, playfully hitting my arm. I grinned at her too.

“Why thank you, ladies. I appreciate the feedback,” I told them, standing up. “I’m sorry to leave so soon, but there are so many girls here, I fear I might not get to them all in time!”

The two laughed and waved their goodbyes.

I looked back at the rest of the room, completely taken aback by the utter chaos that was happening. A group of slutty-looking girls that Pete would have been all over were over by the bar, giggling and tossing their hair every five seconds. On the other end of the room, sitting on a long, brown couch, there was a group of girls who looked like they were star althetes back in high school. They took turns showing off their skills, a few doing pushups and others attempting gymnastic moves in the small opening between the couch and the expensive looking glass table.

Then there was the pool outside. Hell, I was afraid of stepping foot out there. At least ten girls were running around in soaked, probably ruined dresses, shoving each other into the water and for some, getting in each others faces ghetto-style. It was frightening to watch.

Oh boy.

Just as I was about to make my way over to the athletic girls (whom were the only ones besides Kristine and Alicia who looked even remotely sane), loud voices came from the entryway I had entered not moments ago.

“Let go of me! I said I was sorry! OH COME ON! THE TRAFFIC SUCKS IN CALIFORNIA! DON’T BLAME ME!” a girls voice yelled, clearly furious with whomever was holding her.

A crew guy entered the room with a girl in tow. He had his arms locked securely around her forearms and looked extremely pissed. I held back a fit of laughter.

That was when it hit me. She was the last girl. The twenty fifth girl. I looked all around me, counting with my finger all of the girls.

Twenty two, twenty three, twenty four…

Wow. I can’t believe I missed that.

Girl number twenty five was slung into the mass of staring girls looking half embarresed and half about-to-pee-my-pants nervous. I had sympathy.

I walked over to her, determined to make her feel more welcome. She was gorgeous. She wore a dark forest green dress that stopped at her knees and a pair of extremely weathered converse. Her eyes were a silvery-blue and her features were classic. Her golden hair was back in a barrett, a few long waves cascading over her shoulder.

Wow.

She was looking down at her feet when I approached.

“You must be girl number twenty five. I’m Patrick,” I introduced, sticking my hand out. She jumped a little in surprise, but quickly relaxed and smiled at me. Her hand shook a little as she reached for mine.

“I’m Aja. It’s nice to finally be meeting you,” she said, sounding breathless and more than a little star struck. “Sorry I’m so late. My flight from Michigan was delayed tour times and when I got here, taxi’s decided they were going to give me the could shoulder,” she explained, not letting go of my hand. Not that I minded. It felt quite nice, actually.

“Well, Aja, that’s perfectly fine. I was just looking for someone to talk to when you made your grand enterence,” she blushed at this. “How about we go sit over there?” I nodded my head towards an empty table, decorated exactly like Kristine and Alicia’s.

Aja let go of my hand and nodded quietly.

As we walked to the table, the only thought on my mind was the way Aja slightly shuffled her feet as she walked and how she was just a little shorter than me, which was a first.

I was half tempted to ask the producer if I could just narrow the pickings down to three.