I Never Meant to Hurt You

I was observing the golden colored envelope in front of me with my name on it and perfectly closed. I didn’t want to believe what I had just received and I didn’t know if I should open it, deep down I knew what it was and that it was coming but I didn’t want to see it, I knew I would be heart broken again by the same man, the only man that made me suffer during my teenager years and could still reach me like no other, my father.

“Paty!” Jo yelled.

I didn’t respond, I kept staring at the envelop thinking if I should open it or not.

“Paty!” Jo yelled again.

“Jo if you want more ice cream there’s still some on the freezer.” I said back sitting on the bed shaking.

Jo had been having serious pregnant woman desires, last night we ate about 5 bowls of Hagen Daz ice cream together and for the past weeks she’s been eating like crazy which is normal for who’s having twins.

“PATY!” She yelled in almost panic.

I sighed and put the envelop on the night stand, I went towards the living room where I found Jo grabbing onto the kitchen counter.

“Jo?!” I asked.

“My water just broke!!” She yelled in panic.

“AH! THE TWINS ARE COMING!” I yelled panicking myself sense the guys were giving some interviews to local TV and radio stations and we were all by ourselves.

I ran to the room and I grabbed the keys of the rented car and I helped Jo going down the stairs.

“Paty!” She yelled as she sat down and I ran back to the tour bus where I brought her bag with everything she needed.

I entered the car and started it right away going towards the nearest hospital as Jo yelled in pain.

“Breath Jo! Remember the classes!!” I yelled tapping my fingers impatiently on the wheel as the line of cars became bigger.

Jo had gone to some pre-birth classes where she learned how to breath but when she panicked she forgot how to be rational and she just started crying with pain. The line wouldn’t start and Jo seemed to start going worse and I had to do something.

“Let us pass! Pregnant on the WAY!” I yelled out of the window as everyone stared at me, some of them the paparazzi that had been following us from the tour bus.

People finally cleared some of the way and I speed off. I stopped at the entrance of the hospital and a couple of nurses came to help us.

“Hello Mrs. Leto calm down we are taking you to the doctor.” One of them said as Jo yelled again.

“Paty! Paty!” She yelled grabbing my hand squeezing it hardly but it didn’t hurt we were both bursting in excitement.

“Call Shannon!” She yelled as the nurses broke us apart to put her inside the room where a team of doctors was waiting.

“Shannon!” I yelled on the phone pacing around, watching Jo lay down through the window that let me see the doctors preparing her to give birth.

“Paty? What’s wrong? Where are you?” He asked calmly.

“Shannon you better come to the hospital man.” I said already crying but smiling.

“Why? Paty, what hospital?!” He asked.

“The neared to the tour bus, I don’t even know its name. Man you’re boys are going to be born!” I said sobbing lightly.

“WHAT?!” He said and then I heard turn to the guys and they all started celebrating.

“SHANNON! NOW!” I yelled as I saw Jo yell again.

“Oh okay!” He yelled hanging up.

I went to the window and I hope Jo was able to see me and I made her thumbs up and I placed my hand on the glass smiling at her as tears went down my eyes. 15 minutes later Shannon appeared on my side with a nurse in front of him, he was sweating, he was nervous and obviously he was new at this parent thing. I turned immediately to him and he almost knocked me to the floor as he bumped into my shoulder.

“Oh sorry. OH FUCK! JO!!” He yelled punching the glass lightly enough to get Jo’s attention.

“Calm down dude.” I said placing my hand in his shoulder.

Jo smiled up at him while one of the nurses came out.

“Mr. Leto?” She asked.

“Yes?” Shannon asked trembling.

“Do you want to assist?” She asked sweetly.

Shannon kept quiet.

“Dude! Go! It’s your sons!!” I said hugging him as he smiled nervously while trying to breathe.

He went behind the nurse and minutes later he entered the room and stood on Jo’s side grabbing her hand. Meanwhile Jared arrived.

“Hi love.” He said placing his arm around my waist as I had my hands wrapped on each other and in front of my chest.

“Hi Jay.” I said pecking his cheek and he pushed me more against him.

We had lived with Jo most of her pregnant decisive months and it had been so great! We were all nervous on our way. My breathing started to accelerate as I saw Jo wine and starting to push.

“Jared!” I said as I grabbed his hand in mine Jared smiling he didn’t seem to be nervous.

Suddenly I saw the doctor carry a small body in his hand and hand it to a nurse, then another body. I wasn’t hearing anything which scared me but suddenly I heard two babies crying loudly.

I cried as Jared hugged me and I looked at Shannon who was also crying and kissing Jo.

~~That night~~

I knocked on Jo’s room and I opened the door to see the sweetest image, Shannon was holding one baby and Jo the other.

“Hi!” I yelled happily entering clapping like insane.

I covered Jo’s face with kisses while laughing and then pecked the small baby’s face. Then I hugged Shannon and I also packed the other baby’s face.

“So mommy and daddy what are the names?” I asked.

“We were thinking of Christopher and Jacob.” Shannon said smiling tenderly with his eyes only on his son.

“Christopher like his daddy.” I smiled.

Suddenly Jared and Tomo entered the room with two giant branches of flowers and some gifts for the twins.

“Guys!” Shannon said.

He glanced at me and smiled placing Christopher on my arms, leaving me smiling as his eyes slowly opened to reveal a beautiful green color. I felt like melting at this sweetness. I looked at the guys and they were all hugging.

“You’re the daddy!” Tomo said caressing Jacob’s face and then coming towards Christopher.

“That’s so sweet.” Jo said as she looked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“The way you are holding your nephew.” She giggled.

“You rock mommy.” I said laughing back as Jared kept celebrating with Shannon.

“We have to go out tonight!” Tomo said.

“What?!” I said with wide eyes.

“Come on Paty we have to celebrate.” Shannon said smiling innocently.

I glanced at Jo and she smiled at Shannon.

“Alright but be good okay?” She said.

“I promise.” Shannon said kissing passionately.

“Don’t worry I’ll stay here with them.” I said placing Christopher on his small bed.

“See you later love.” Jared said kissing me sweetly and then all of them disappearing.

“I’m so happy.” Jo said when I placed Jacob on his bed and covered him, both of them sleeping.

“I’m happy too they are so cute!” I said sitting beside her.

“For a moment I saw Jared crying too on the labor.” Jo chuckled.

“I know, I felt it too but I was crying a river myself.” I giggled.

“You are a real good friend.” Jo said holding my hand.

“Always here you know it hun.” I said squeezing her hand lightly.

“Do you need anything?” I asked.

“Can you call my parents?” Jo asked.

“Sure, I just have to go to the tour bus but I’ll be back in no time.” I said letting go of her hand and exiting her room.

“Hello? Christine?” I asked.

“Hello sweetie, how are you?” Jo’s mom asked with her sweet voice.

“I’m awesome! You better sit down and call Tony!” I said referring to her father happiness in my voice.

I entered the cab and said the address when both Jo’s parents where on the phone.

“Ready? You are already grandparents!!” I said happily as the taxi driver smiled.

“What?” Jo’s mom yelled.

“We are going right now!” I heard her father in the background.

“Listen you can come but Jo and I are thinking of going to Lisbon for a week so you can spend some time with the boys.” I said.

“Oh I see…” Jo’s mom said already crying.

“Alright sweetie but promise to call us okay?” She said.

“Of course don’t worry. And they are very healthy, their names are Christopher and Jacob and they both resemble to both Shannon and Jo.” I said.

“Oh did you hear her Tony?” Jo’s mom said.

“Sorry Christine but I have to go, I promise to call.” I smiled as I paid the taxi driver and stepped out closing the door gently behind my back.

I was still on the phone hearing them when I saw paparazzi camping out of the tour bus, some of them on the sidewalk taking pictures.

“Okay sweetie, goodbye.” She said and I hang up.

“Hello Paty.” One of them said.

“Hello.” I said quickening my pace.

“So how are the twins?” He asked as the others kept taking pictures.

“Very healthy thank you.” I smiled.

“Have a nice day.” He waved.

“You too boys.” I said as I entered the tour bus.

I took a quick shower, dressed something random, a pair of comfortable shoes, I made some sandwiches and took some bottles of water from the fridge and put them inside my bag. I took some a My Chemical Romance CD, an A7X CD and others that Jo liked when my eyes landed on the envelope.

I sat on the bed and I decided to open it, the sooner the better. I opened it carefully and I unfolded the single piece of golden apper with a black heart on the beginning.

‘Dear Patrícia Marques,
You are officially invited to our wedding which is being held on April fifth in Hotel Mirage in Algarve. The ceremony will happen at 12 o’clock in the afternoon at Sun Church
and the venue starts at 14 o’clock in the afternoon.
Your presence is an honor please join us,

Lucia and Henrique.’

I found myself sobbing and crying sadly, I wanted to rip that piece of trash so badly but I couldn’t. I had more important things to do, my father’s wedding couldn’t be a priority in my head, he just wanted to hurt me for never welcoming Lucy into his life.

I grabbed the envelop and put it in the bottom of the drawer of the night stand. I stood up just breathing trying to calm down and I grabbed the bag and I headed back to the hospital. When I arrived Jo was awake and drinking some water and she immediately noticed I was different.

“Paty?” She asked.

“Your parents wanted to come but I promise we would go to Lisbon soon.” I said tears going down my eyes.

Sadness took over me, each time I remembered Lucy it felt like a knife was stabbing me because I knew that thanks to her my dad forgot my mom for complete and that was something I could ever forgive him for. With Bia was different, she accepted Lucy at first but when I left our house to become an actress Bia decided to take a side and she took mine.

“What happened?” Jo asked as I gave up and sat beside her trying to be quiet so the twins could sleep in peace.

“My dad he…” I sobbed.

“What did he do hun?” Jo asked.

“He’s going to marry her… they were arrogant enough to send me an invitation.” I said resting my head in my hands when I felt a hand caress my head warmly.

I threw my arms around Jo’s body and I cried on her belly while she caressed my head, my crying non stopping. She was able to listen to me cry for hours in fact she did and she never stopped me, she knew I needed to cry because I had never overcome my mom’s death completely.

“What do I do?” I asked.

“You regain your strength and I think you should go and show them that you are okay with that and that you simply go for respect. You don’t need to congratulate them you just have to go fabulous and let everyone’s mouths hanging up. Then you enter with your head held very high because you deserve it and you assist everything with the most peaceful face and in the end you say 'You’re on your own now daddy.' ” Jo imagined smiling at me.

“You’re right they will think that I will try to ruin the wedding but in fact I won’t. I’ll go and be polite and civilized.” I said crossing my leg making Jo laugh.

“Thanks hun.” I smiled.

“You’re welcome.” Jo said her hand reaching out for my face.

“I still remember your mom…” Jo started.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes and she would be so proud of you.” Jo said both of us crying like two babies when the twins bursted crying.

I glanced at Jo and we both smiled at the sight of their eyes open to life and for what seemed like a second I felt my heart warm up.