Bella's Heart

Blinking back tears, Bella, carefully put a rose on her mother’s grave. She slowly put her hand down on the cold, wooden surface, and the tears came.
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Bella whispered as her older sister, Emma, gently took her arm and started to pull her back.
Bella blamed herself for her mother’s death. And the death of her unborn sibling. It was her fault that her mom went on that drive. Bella had lost her temper again, and her mother couldn’t handle it. They got the call from the hospital five hours later saying that her mother was in a coma and most likely would not make it out alive. Bella had began to blame herself at that moment.
Bringing herself back to the present time, Bella squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her older brother, Darcy, wrap his arm around her shoulder and squeeze. Darcy and Bella were exactly a year apart, and they were best friends. Bella knew all of Darcy’s secrets and Darcy knew all of Bella’s.
“It’s not your fault, Bells.” Darcy whispered in Bella’s ear, “Stop blaming yourself. Mom went on drives all the time.”
Bella didn’t open her eyes. She felt her younger sister, Lizzy, wrap her arms around Bella’s legs.
“Bella?” Debbie said, “Bella? Are you Okay? I miss Mommy too. It’s okay Bells.”
Finally, Bella opened her eyes and looked around. She saw her dad holding her 9 month old brother, Edward. Her dad, Ben, had a look of pure sorrow in his face. He had not only just lost his wife, but also a daughter or son.
As she looked around some more, she saw people from her church, Our Lady of Peace, and her homeschool group. She saw her best friend since she was four, Melissa, make a heart shape with her hands and mouth I Love You to Bella.
Bella smiled warily back at Melissa. Bella then gave her attention the pastor of OLOP, As she fondly called Our Lady of Peace, Father Robert Montgomery, who Bella called Father Bobby, who was giving the eulogy. As he spoke about her mother, Kristin, Bella felt like it was her mother herself telling her and her siblings of her childhood. Kristin had been a parishioner of OLOP since she was baptized, so Father Bobby knew her very well. Father Bobby was actually her cousin and godfather, He was feeling as much sadness of the loss of Bella’s mother as much as everyone else there was. Looking to her left, Bella saw her aunt, Helena, who was three years older than she, just nineteen years old. Kristin was Helena’s older sister and godmother. Their mother, Sophie, had died giving birth to Helena, so Kristin had pretty much raised her and her other younger siblings, Laura, Giselle, William and Stephan.
Looking around some more, she saw a girl, who looked about the same age as herself, holding a baby. Who is she and why is she at my mother’s funeral? Bella thought.
Bella felt an elbow go into her rib and saw her younger sister, Anne glaring at her. Although Anne was three years younger than Bella, in her mind she was three years older. Anne felt like she was more sensible and that it was her job to look after Bella and all her other siblings. Bella knew that as soon as they got home, Anne would be taking up the part of the mother and doing the laundry or some other sort of motherly duty. Since Bella was the oldest daughter, and Helena the oldest in the house, this bothered her.
Once again, she felt a sharp jab in her side. Looking again, she saw it was still Anne.
“Why aren’t you paying attention?” Anne hissed, “It’s your mother’s funeral! You have to pay attention!”
Bella sighed and stared straight ahead at Fr. Bobby. Although she loved Fr. Bobby like a grandfather, he had a tendency to drone on and on. Now he was talking about true love and how Kristin had found it with Ben. Hoping that Anne wouldn’t see her, Bella quickly looked at her father and saw a tear run down his cheek.
“Kristin loved Ben. I knew it the moment I first saw them together.” Fr. Bobby was saying, “As I married them, I knew I was in the presence of true love.”
Bella’s heart melted. She was a hopeless romantic and always dreamed of being as in love with someone as her mother was with her father.
Next to her, Anne snorted and rolled her eyes. Anne was sensible and didn’t believe in true love. She thought it was dumb.
Helena pinched Anne’s arm and gave her a look that practically shouted, Could you be any more obnoxious?!?!
Turning her attention to Fr. Bobby again, she realized that he was now saying a final prayer before they would be dismissed.
Quickly Bella made the sign of the cross while Anne and Helena both did it reverently. Before she could finish, mobs of people started to gather around her.
“Oh, you poor dear!” Said Mrs. Peterson from church, “losing your mother so young! If you ever need me give me a call!” Mrs. Peterson shoved a piece of paper into Bella’s hand then walked away before Bella could open her mouth.
As more and more people hugged her and offered their sympathy, the more real it seemed. She would never see her mother again. Never again would Kristin come in late at night because she knew something was wrong. Never again would Kristin tell her stories about her childhood. Never again would her mother run to her father, squealing like a little girl, when her father came home from work and kiss him. And it was all her fault. If Bella only could’ve kept her temper better, Kristin would still be alive. It was all her fault that her whole family would be in pain for so long and miss her for so long. It was all her fault.

All her fault.