Let The Barriers Go
PREFACE
"Mommy!? Where are you?!" I screamed as I searched the house.
"I'm here sweetie. Don't be frightened." Mother called from her room rather distressed.
I slowly walked into mothers room, and was confused when I saw mother holding a picture of daddy crying.
"Mommy, where's Papa?" I asked curiously, jumping into mommy's arms, trying to comfort her.
"Papa's gone away, darling." she sobbed.
"When is he coming back?"
"I'm afraid your papa wont be back here Samantha. It's just you and me from now on, okay?"
"Yes momma." I replied.
"Where did he go?" I asked.
"Samantha, I don't know, all I know is that he is never coming back, you can never ever rely on anyone but yourself, darling. You must always remember that! Yourself! And nobody else! The world is full of mean and hateful people, people that don't care. And I don't ever want you to end up like me, here on this floor, do you understand me?" she asked in a firm voice.
"Yes mama." I replied, very very confused.
Though I had no idea what my mother was talking about, I got the message..don't ever mention papa again. So I never did. I was 6 years old. I was only just beginning to learn my ABC's, just learning to skip. Just learning what 10 + 10 was. And yet, I was also learning, that men and life are impossible. You can never get what you want. Depend on yourself and nobody else. Depend on yourself and nobody else ...
A few months later, I was moved to live with my Aunty. I suppose my mother couldn't bare to look at me anymore. She couldn't bare to deal with me. I reminded her to much of papa. I wish I looked different. I wish mama and papa loved me. I wish..I just wish..that we could be a happy family again.
Aunty was very nice though. She taught me to play piano, and she sang with me. She said I had a very nice voice, and was destined for great things. (Whatever that means) She looked after me, and got me whatever I wanted..But she still isn't, and wont ever be..my momma.
"I'm here sweetie. Don't be frightened." Mother called from her room rather distressed.
I slowly walked into mothers room, and was confused when I saw mother holding a picture of daddy crying.
"Mommy, where's Papa?" I asked curiously, jumping into mommy's arms, trying to comfort her.
"Papa's gone away, darling." she sobbed.
"When is he coming back?"
"I'm afraid your papa wont be back here Samantha. It's just you and me from now on, okay?"
"Yes momma." I replied.
"Where did he go?" I asked.
"Samantha, I don't know, all I know is that he is never coming back, you can never ever rely on anyone but yourself, darling. You must always remember that! Yourself! And nobody else! The world is full of mean and hateful people, people that don't care. And I don't ever want you to end up like me, here on this floor, do you understand me?" she asked in a firm voice.
"Yes mama." I replied, very very confused.
Though I had no idea what my mother was talking about, I got the message..don't ever mention papa again. So I never did. I was 6 years old. I was only just beginning to learn my ABC's, just learning to skip. Just learning what 10 + 10 was. And yet, I was also learning, that men and life are impossible. You can never get what you want. Depend on yourself and nobody else. Depend on yourself and nobody else ...
A few months later, I was moved to live with my Aunty. I suppose my mother couldn't bare to look at me anymore. She couldn't bare to deal with me. I reminded her to much of papa. I wish I looked different. I wish mama and papa loved me. I wish..I just wish..that we could be a happy family again.
Aunty was very nice though. She taught me to play piano, and she sang with me. She said I had a very nice voice, and was destined for great things. (Whatever that means) She looked after me, and got me whatever I wanted..But she still isn't, and wont ever be..my momma.
♠ ♠ ♠
So far .. Samantha is 6 years old, her dad has left her mother, and her mother has left her. She lives with her Aunty and misses her parents.