Let The Barriers Go

Who's making that noise?
That stupid beeping noise. Can someone shutup please! I thought to myself. And these stupid wires on my fingers and on my chest. WTF?
I slowly opened my eyes, which was suprisingly really hard to do and then I pulled myself up, using the...railings?

I was in a hospital bed, the curtains were drawn, that stupid monitor thing was the beeping noise. The room was quite plain, light blue, and simple. There were a few charts hanging up around me though, and all these buttons, with little pictures on them that light up, if you pushed them. Cute.

I stared at my stomach.
I was in pain. But it wasn't like a hunger pain. It was more like a bleeding, sort of aching pain. I lifted the blanket up and was not in the least bit suprised, to see three cleaned up stab wounds in my gut.

FUCK! Am I a loser or what? Stupid idiot, I can't even kill myself.

Like I said, I was over it all, I couldn't take it anymore, I wouldn't take it anymore..and this was my only option.
Unfortunately, the fact that I'm still here, telling you about the incident suggests that I didn't do it right.

Wait. I hear voices. Karol's voice was filling my head. Great! I forgot to think about what would happen if this didn't work. I'll probably get this big speech about it, and then have to go to a Counsellor, or Psychologist, or .. Shrink. I shuddered at the thought. I would have to explain myself to this stranger.

Aunt Karol entered the room and her blood-shot eyes instantly met mine. She squealed, and then was over by my side in seconds with her arm around me. She was crying, tears pouring out of her eyes. It was all quite overwhelming. This was something I hadn't anticipated, to say the least.

And hear come the words,
"Sammy, I am so sorry."
Woah! Those words hit me like a sack of potatoes. She was saying sorry?! This wasn't her fault. I began to open my mouth to correct her, but she put her fingers to my lips to stop me. "I should have seen how upset you were. Your mother called me and told me about your little phone call. I shouldn't have given her your number. I am so sorry. Please, won't you ever forgive me, Sammy. My precious little angel."
Ohkay, this was getting a bit weird, did she just call me her "precious, little angel?"
she continued, "Sammy, I need you to know, that I love you, like I would love my own daughter. You may not be mine, but I have always thought of you as if you were. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to do...this" she said pointing to my stomach, "again, never ever ever. Please, I want you to trust me. If there is something wrong, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about it. Or at least talk to somebody. I'm not going to make you talk to a shrink," I noticed her shudder as she said it, "because, I've been there, and I hated every minute of it. I just want you to feel like you belong here, because your not leaving me, not yet. I love you, Sammy. I always have loved you and I always will love you, darling."

I sat there, in this hospital bed, feeling ever so guilty. But feeling...loved. Maybe there is hope for me after all.

"Sammy, I'll be back in 5 minutes, I just need to call Ryan and-" Did she just say Ryan?! UGH! I knew he would have something to do with this. In my subconscious, of course. "tell him that your okay, he was so worried when he found you in the kitchen. I don't know how he saved you, but he did. And I am so glad. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you. I owe him so much. I must go thank him"

They were the last words I heard from her as she started towards the door and headed off down the corridor. She continued mumbling to herself though. If only I could understand what she was saying! Damn!

Oh well.
Crayon, Rayon, Ryan.
The Prince of Darkness.
The Epicly Evil Son of the Beauty.
The Perfectly Handsome Prince.
The Saviour.