Let The Barriers Go

Seriously, it was about time they let me out. I'd been in there for what, like a week or two? How bad could it have been? Now I get to go home, and sleep in my own bed, and I don't have to worry about unwanted visitors.
Nothing. Just Aunt Karol and I.
I can relax and not have people move in and out of my room every hour, not have a stupid monitor beeping like crazy. I can resume my life as normal, when I was known as a bitch, when no one dare converse with me, no one dare look at me.

I sighed quietly while Aunt Karol carried my bags to the car. She was so obsessed with meeting my every need now. She's going to hover, just watch.

"So, Sammy what have you got planned for tonight?" she asked, breaking my nostalgic moment. I looked at her a bit confused, and quite disappointed.

"Aunt Karol, you know me better than that, I'm not going anywhere. I only just got out of hospital. Did you enjoy the alone time so much, that you don't want me home anymore?" I giggled and waited for her to process every word I said. And as soon as the words had gone through, and she had clued in, she spoke quickly.
"Oh no! Sam, no, I'm so sorry. No I didn't mean it like that, I just meant that.." she stopped for a second and hesitated before continuing. Hmm. "..that, well I don't know exactly what I was asking for, let's get going eh?"

I rolled my eyes and without another word, she pushed me in the car, ran around the other side, and drove off.
Hmm, she was acting, sort of, strange.
Meh.

It was a long, boring, drive home.
I seriously do not know what I find interesting about this place.
The sun, the beaches, the sluts.
Ew.
Why can't it be like, um, Forks.
I laughed quietly to myself.
Karol shot a curious look in my direction.
I quickly averted my eyes to outside the window.
We were almost home. I know because we just drove past the bustop I go to for school.

And then I gasped for air.
SCHOOL!
Not school, I have to go back there.
Things would be different now, I wouldn't be a bitch, I'd be the poor, beautiful girl that's crazy and tried to kill herself.
Now people wouldn't talk to me, because I was crazy, not cause I was a bitch.

Oh no.

As I walked in the door, I found it really hard to see, it was abnormally, really, really, dark.
Ouch, I hit the wall.
Grr. Has it been that long?

And then I screamed, louder than I ever have before.

The lights flicked on, a hundred voices at once screaming,

"SUPRISE"

NO!
No. No. No.
I refuse to believe it.
She wouldn't throw me a suprise party. No way. Karol wouldn't do this, this is something Shell would do.
I just know it.
I stormed through the house, music pumping, bodies everywhere, moving in..sexual motions.
Eeep.

I found who I was looking for.
There she was, in plain sight, on the couch, with, um, Aiden, maybe? Dean, also possible.
I didn't bother to find out who in the end. I tore her off the couch and screamed in her face.
"Why would you throw a party for me?! Especially after what's happened! You KNOW I don't-" she cut me off.
"Do you mind Sam? I'm in the middle of something," she paused to wink at Aiden, I was right. He just grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto him. Before I could rip her back to me, she continued, "and besides, I didn't throw it for you, 'sif I would."
And then she happily began kissing Aiden, ugh!
That's my queue to leave.

I growled in anger, and stormed upstairs. If I stay in my room, then no one can talk to me, and I'll be fine..or so I thought.

I walked into my room..and there he was, looking at my photographs, my treasured memories. He turned around to me in an instant, and smiled a dazzling, ugly, stupid, beautiful smile. Why was he tormenting me?!

"Suprise." He said calmly, as if the fact that he was in MY room, didn't bother him the slightest. I walked over to him and screamed in his face! He was the one that organised this! It was suddenly all clear, Karol wouldn't, Shell wouldn't, he would.
I'm really starting to get annoyed with this kid, I can't handle him anymore. I don't know how to deal with him, I was never taught!

"Who told you to organise a party for me?! No one! Me coming home to my house, is none of your business! What gives you the right..No, what makes you think I would want a party!? What is it in that stupid head of yours that makes you want to annoy the crap out of me, I'm really dying to know, do you get a kick out of seeing me like this?!" Rant over, and that was nothing, I could have done worse, I could have made him a worthless little foot note on my epic ass!

Instead of replying, he just stared at me, trying to hold back a laugh.
He then walked over to my CD collection took a quick look, totally ignoring me.

You know what!? I've had enough!
I walked over to him, drew back my arm, and thrust it forward at his unaware, patiently waiting, cheek. He stood there, this time, no laughter was he holding back. He looked, quite, sad. I instantly felt guilty, I had no reason to do what I did, I don't even know why I did it. He gazed into my eyes, trying to find the reason as to why I had just slapped him across the face.

I almost cried, his eyes were piercing, it was painful to look him back in the eye! I can't get away from anyone or anything, trouble just follows me! And then, I did cry! It was all too overwhelming. I think I tried to kill myself too soon.
First, the phone call, then this Ryan kid, then this party and now this Ryan kid in my ROOM, who i just slapped. I'd never hit anyone in my life.

I walked to the closed-door, and slid down on to the floor, with my head in my hands. I don't care if he's in here, this is my room, and he's not going to stop me from doing what I wanted. No one can stop me!

And then I felt him sit down next to me, and put both arms around me, he pulled me into a tight hug. He didn't say a word. He just held me. I cried so much, I couldn't stop myself. I had to let it all go. I hadn't cried in so long. I gripped onto his shirt, and I was never letting go. I sat there, eyes closed, wishing all the pain would go away.