Let The Barriers Go
Explain, Please
After replaying every minute of this afternoon in my head, I began to wonder how Ryan would act if he were to find out. I suppose I could explain the whole story to him. It wasn't exactly, one hundred percent, my fault. As all these thoughts ran through my head, Adrien's face popped up. I had Ryan now, and I was happy, but there was never a moment, where I didn't miss Adrien. Adrien and I, we were made for each other, everybody in school knew it, those were the days, when I wasn't as bitchy. People would smile at us in the hallways when they saw I holding hands, embracing each other, and we would just shrug it off and continue radiating love to each other. He was my rock, my anchor, he was everything to me. "Was" that is.
Adrien and Alex, well, they were twins. They didn't know it though, not until a few weeks before..well..he..
Anyway, Adrien and Alex, didn't have the best relationship. They were both beautiful creatures created by the hands of God himself, they were twins after all, however, the one thing that separated them from themselves, were there personalities. Adrien was the sweet, caring, sensitive one and Alex was the..not so sweet, caring, sensitive one. They had always thought they were cousins, turns out their mother wasn't in the right state of mind at the time, to take care of two children, so she decided she would become a surrogate for her sister. They brought them up as cousins and the boys always believed this, until both women saw the rivalry that had appeared within both of the boys, they were so competitive about everything, so they decided it was time to tell them. They were 16, and I had only just started liking Alex, (yes, I said Alex) Alex was the rebellious, sexy boy that everyone could only dream about, and I was the slutty whore, who thought nothing of herself or anyone else. I thought with my sexual instincts and not my intellectual ones.
After discovering that they were twins, the competitiveness and rivalry between both boys only rose to an unprecedented level. It got to the point where I became a possession or trophe to Alex. He would brag about me, to Adrien, while I was their, he would kiss me, but only if it was infront of Adrien. Alex took it further then he should of, beyond the point I could handle.
I decided I would end it, I couldn't stand being nothing but a prize to him, he didn't love me, like he once did. After I broke it off, Alex became more bitter and horrible than I thought was possible. I explained my reasons, and he just blew me off, he said that I was ungrateful and I didn't deserve to have someone as good as him! Disgusted and hurt, I stormed out of the house. As I was walking down the street I wasn't watching where I was going, and I smacked into Adrien, head first collision. He jumped up instantly and held out his hand to help me, he could see the tears, but I guess he just assumed it wasn't from the accident, he asked if I wanted to talk about it, and insisted that he at least walk me home considering it was getting dark.
That night, I told Adrien everything about me, I could tell him things I had never even thought to tell Alex. I told Adrien all the things that I couldn't tell Shelly! I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt with him. It was so unbelievable. We didn't speak again for a week, until a Alex spread a rumor about me being some, dirty, scene, slut or something, don't really care now, but at the time, it hurt alot, I was so vulnerable.Ugh. Adrien, again was the one that found me under the bleaches and I leapt into his arms, pouring my heart out to him. I felt so safe in his arms, the way I felt with Ryan now. He comforted and held me, tighter than anyone ever had. It was then, I knew that Adrien was the one I had always wanted, Alex was the mistake. But we all learn from our mistakes.
I was head over heels for Adrien, he was the boy of my dreams. It was Alex and Adrien's sweet 16 and that's where Adrien asked me out, at the party, he said I was the best present he could ever have asked for. Alex was absolutely mortified when everyone found out that I was going out with his brother. He would try to split us up, but never did it work. It was amazing, Adrien only ever loved me for who I was, he wouldn't try to show off or flash me around like I was something special the way Alex did. It was so amazing.
But, another 8 months later, Alex threw another party. That night, I drank a bit too much, Adrien said he wouldn't be arriving til later, so I was okay with that. I walked up to Adriens room, and sat on his bed, off my head, smashed and all. I remembered all the fun times we had had, Alex wasn't the best boyfriend, but he sure was a lot of fun to be around. A few minutes later, Adrien came storming up to his room in a huff, startling me. I jumped off his bed, and he just looked at me shocked. He asked me what I was doing up here, and we spoke for a few minutes. He said he was angry because someone he didn't really want to invite had just turned up, I just ignored him and he continued on to say how much he missed me and how much it hurt when I said yes to going out with Adrien. Soon he made a move, and I tried to resist, but I was drunk and had no idea what was going on, all I remember is not being able to stop giggling, and I can't forget the moment Adrien walked in on us. My T-Shirt was off, and I was wrapped around Alex, Alex had nothing on, but looked glowingly triumphant. Without a word he walked out of the room, out of the house and out of my life.
The next monday, at school. That was when it happened.
I've already explained what happened, I don't want to have to again.
I couldn't think about what would make him jump, and what he was doing at school so early! And, I just, I didn't know.
After a month, I had to return to school. When I got to my locker, I found a beautiful envelope with lillies lightly engraved around the outside. My favourite flowers. Tears began to fall from my eyes, I knew only one person could have left this. I opened it, and there was the poem.
Baby Sammeh : )
The way I feel, its so hard to say, I don't know where to start.
Maybe I'll say and comment on the moment you stole my heart.
It was that one fateful day, we met in tears, The pain enough to sever for years.
The moment we clashed, I knew what to do, The person I would only ever love, was you.
I thought about you every minute and every hour of every day,
Hoping that we'd meet again, And that Id know what to say.
Too good to be true, under the bleaches, There you were, your beautiful features.
Speechless and sad, I was at a loss, So I wrapped you in my arms didn't care what the cost.
I swore to myself, that very day, That you would never be hurt, in that very same way.
I swore I would protect you, to never let you cry, I swore Id never leave you,
I'd never say goodbye.
And uptil now I've kept that true, for 8 whole months, I've only ever loved you.
But I want to make this all for real, So baby Sam, let me tell you, here's the deal.
Without you, life isn't life.
I never knew love, when I never knew you.
When there is no you, there is no me.
An end to our relationship, is an end to my life.
So please say Yes, be my wife?
I fell to the floor and broke down, it all made perfect sense now. It all made perfect sense. He was proposing to me, he was proposing. And he had caught me with his BROTHER! As I hit the floor, the poem and envelope in my hand, a small, gold ring fell out on to the cold, hard granite surface. I picked it up still in tears, studying it, engraved on the inside of the gold band was "I love you forever & always Sammeh." I raced home and never came back, not until this year. And even now, the pain and memories are still as daunting as ever.
I can't let another relationship be ruined by Alex..I can't.
I will not lose the only other person, I have ever loved.
Adrien and Alex, well, they were twins. They didn't know it though, not until a few weeks before..well..he..
Anyway, Adrien and Alex, didn't have the best relationship. They were both beautiful creatures created by the hands of God himself, they were twins after all, however, the one thing that separated them from themselves, were there personalities. Adrien was the sweet, caring, sensitive one and Alex was the..not so sweet, caring, sensitive one. They had always thought they were cousins, turns out their mother wasn't in the right state of mind at the time, to take care of two children, so she decided she would become a surrogate for her sister. They brought them up as cousins and the boys always believed this, until both women saw the rivalry that had appeared within both of the boys, they were so competitive about everything, so they decided it was time to tell them. They were 16, and I had only just started liking Alex, (yes, I said Alex) Alex was the rebellious, sexy boy that everyone could only dream about, and I was the slutty whore, who thought nothing of herself or anyone else. I thought with my sexual instincts and not my intellectual ones.
After discovering that they were twins, the competitiveness and rivalry between both boys only rose to an unprecedented level. It got to the point where I became a possession or trophe to Alex. He would brag about me, to Adrien, while I was their, he would kiss me, but only if it was infront of Adrien. Alex took it further then he should of, beyond the point I could handle.
I decided I would end it, I couldn't stand being nothing but a prize to him, he didn't love me, like he once did. After I broke it off, Alex became more bitter and horrible than I thought was possible. I explained my reasons, and he just blew me off, he said that I was ungrateful and I didn't deserve to have someone as good as him! Disgusted and hurt, I stormed out of the house. As I was walking down the street I wasn't watching where I was going, and I smacked into Adrien, head first collision. He jumped up instantly and held out his hand to help me, he could see the tears, but I guess he just assumed it wasn't from the accident, he asked if I wanted to talk about it, and insisted that he at least walk me home considering it was getting dark.
That night, I told Adrien everything about me, I could tell him things I had never even thought to tell Alex. I told Adrien all the things that I couldn't tell Shelly! I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt with him. It was so unbelievable. We didn't speak again for a week, until a Alex spread a rumor about me being some, dirty, scene, slut or something, don't really care now, but at the time, it hurt alot, I was so vulnerable.Ugh. Adrien, again was the one that found me under the bleaches and I leapt into his arms, pouring my heart out to him. I felt so safe in his arms, the way I felt with Ryan now. He comforted and held me, tighter than anyone ever had. It was then, I knew that Adrien was the one I had always wanted, Alex was the mistake. But we all learn from our mistakes.
I was head over heels for Adrien, he was the boy of my dreams. It was Alex and Adrien's sweet 16 and that's where Adrien asked me out, at the party, he said I was the best present he could ever have asked for. Alex was absolutely mortified when everyone found out that I was going out with his brother. He would try to split us up, but never did it work. It was amazing, Adrien only ever loved me for who I was, he wouldn't try to show off or flash me around like I was something special the way Alex did. It was so amazing.
But, another 8 months later, Alex threw another party. That night, I drank a bit too much, Adrien said he wouldn't be arriving til later, so I was okay with that. I walked up to Adriens room, and sat on his bed, off my head, smashed and all. I remembered all the fun times we had had, Alex wasn't the best boyfriend, but he sure was a lot of fun to be around. A few minutes later, Adrien came storming up to his room in a huff, startling me. I jumped off his bed, and he just looked at me shocked. He asked me what I was doing up here, and we spoke for a few minutes. He said he was angry because someone he didn't really want to invite had just turned up, I just ignored him and he continued on to say how much he missed me and how much it hurt when I said yes to going out with Adrien. Soon he made a move, and I tried to resist, but I was drunk and had no idea what was going on, all I remember is not being able to stop giggling, and I can't forget the moment Adrien walked in on us. My T-Shirt was off, and I was wrapped around Alex, Alex had nothing on, but looked glowingly triumphant. Without a word he walked out of the room, out of the house and out of my life.
The next monday, at school. That was when it happened.
I've already explained what happened, I don't want to have to again.
I couldn't think about what would make him jump, and what he was doing at school so early! And, I just, I didn't know.
After a month, I had to return to school. When I got to my locker, I found a beautiful envelope with lillies lightly engraved around the outside. My favourite flowers. Tears began to fall from my eyes, I knew only one person could have left this. I opened it, and there was the poem.
Baby Sammeh : )
The way I feel, its so hard to say, I don't know where to start.
Maybe I'll say and comment on the moment you stole my heart.
It was that one fateful day, we met in tears, The pain enough to sever for years.
The moment we clashed, I knew what to do, The person I would only ever love, was you.
I thought about you every minute and every hour of every day,
Hoping that we'd meet again, And that Id know what to say.
Too good to be true, under the bleaches, There you were, your beautiful features.
Speechless and sad, I was at a loss, So I wrapped you in my arms didn't care what the cost.
I swore to myself, that very day, That you would never be hurt, in that very same way.
I swore I would protect you, to never let you cry, I swore Id never leave you,
I'd never say goodbye.
And uptil now I've kept that true, for 8 whole months, I've only ever loved you.
But I want to make this all for real, So baby Sam, let me tell you, here's the deal.
Without you, life isn't life.
I never knew love, when I never knew you.
When there is no you, there is no me.
An end to our relationship, is an end to my life.
So please say Yes, be my wife?
I fell to the floor and broke down, it all made perfect sense now. It all made perfect sense. He was proposing to me, he was proposing. And he had caught me with his BROTHER! As I hit the floor, the poem and envelope in my hand, a small, gold ring fell out on to the cold, hard granite surface. I picked it up still in tears, studying it, engraved on the inside of the gold band was "I love you forever & always Sammeh." I raced home and never came back, not until this year. And even now, the pain and memories are still as daunting as ever.
I can't let another relationship be ruined by Alex..I can't.
I will not lose the only other person, I have ever loved.