Let The Barriers Go

After skipping out on dinner, due to the visitors, or visitor, I was up in my room, contemplating on whether or not I should call Shelly and tell her about my new neighbour.

Just then my phone began ringing..

"Situations, are irrelevant now,
she loves the way that I tease,
I love the way that she breathes."

"Hello?"
I asked, after a quick peek at the number, which was private. Hmm.
"Hello, is this..Samantha Brenick?"
The unfamiliar female voice asked.
"Yes," I replied suspiciously, "May I ask who I'm speaking with?"
And then I was able to hear quiet sobs. The voice was breaking down.
"Hello? Are you okay?" I asked, a tad bit of concern leaving my voice.
"Yes, I'm so very sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you like this, but I just couldn't help myself. Once I got in contact with Karol, and she gave me your number, I just couldn't help it."

And that's when it hit me,
I was talking to my mother.

"Umm..Mom?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes.
"Yes baby, it's Mommy, It's me."
And just as the tears were about to come streaming down like a flood, something came over me, I don't know what it was, but I wish it hadn't come over me.
Anger filled me, I could feel it slowly rising,
it was uncontainable, I couldn't stop it from coming out, it was 11 years of anger finally escaping the box in which I held it..my soul, my heart.
"Wait! No way! My mother?" I shouted sarcastically,
"I wasn't sure that I had one, cause from what I know, mother's don't leave their children when their six years old, with their sister's. Mother's look after their children, mother's don't leave. I don't know if that's me being sterotypical, but I'm pretty sure that's what a mother does.
And wait, let me just quickly recap..
Who left me when I was six, to live with my aunty?
Yep that would be my "mother."
Who didn't look after me as a child and left?
Yep that would be..uhh..YOU, my "mother."
Who was there for me when I went through puberty?
Who was their for me when I had arguments with my best friend?
I don't think it was you, I do believe it was Aunty, who is the closest thing I will ever have as a --"

And then she cut me off, her voice sounding very tired, and worn.

"Samantha, stop right there! Please, I'm begging you. I need you to understand why I did what I did..If you'll just listen to me, please." She pleaded.
At this point I was far too worked up.
"Understand!? Listen!?" I asked rhetorically, "I don't recall you ever trying to understand how I felt when you left, I don't recall you listening to me when I begged you not to leave me. I suppose this is the part where you say that you only did what you did, because you thought it was the best thing for me. That you would have been a horrible mother, and you couldn't have looked after me? I mean, why couldn't you have thought about that before you fucked my pig of a dad? Huh? Answer me that. I mean, did you even care? Obviously, not. I'm really not into these happy endings or whatever, so I really couldn't care less about what you have to say..Oh my god, am I starting to sound like you or what."
I laughed out loud, with no hint of sympathy in my voice, and before she could get in a word, I snapped the phone shut and threw it at the wall. I really wasn't in the mood for her excuses.

Oh my god.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just hung up on my mother..MY MOTHER!

Now you know why I said I regret saying all that nasty stuff.