When My Light Flickered And Died

My Guardian Angel, He’d said. My Lucky star, my one and only. And he’d held me so close that night. Whispering those three phrases over and over again.
It was a cold afternoon. Practically freezing below -2 degrees. Even dressed in billions of layers- thermals, woollen jumpers, topped with mittens, scarf and beanie, I was still shivering. I guess that was partly what drove me into his arms. And it was magical… not just his arms, or.. or even his physical Being, but it was magical how mother nature decided to snow as well, creating the most perfect atmosphere of our first moment together.

There were just no words to describe the complete wonder, and awe I felt as I stood at his front door viewing the entire town caked in snow.
He’d left his jumper at school because he was always doing stupid things like that; it was a wonder in itself that he never came down with pneumonia, or even a cold for the matter. So I, being the kind friend I was had accompanied him home- but only to make sure he didn’t freeze to death. Even if... Um… I was actually the one who resembled a marshmallow, whereas he barely shivered at all. He was so careless, always shrugging his shoulders and brushing matters off as if they didn’t matter. That’s what I loved about him. He was free from the stress the exams. It just never crossed his mind that nothing was perfect- well if it did, he didn’t show it-.
“Just look on the bright side” he’d say, “There’s always tomorrow”
Yeah… That was pretty much Ryan for you, my Ryan.

It wasn’t until we literally reached his doorstep, when he realised that his house keys were also left in his locker, along with his jacket and beanie. This was how we ended up huddled in front of his door. Typical of him. To be so ‘forgetful.’
But he had held me so close, and slowly, tenderly kissed me, as if I was the most fragile thing in the world. My Guardian Angel, He’d said. My Lucky star, my one and only…
And that was how we became “Brooke and Ryan”
***

I wasn’t… skipping, and jumping fences on the way home, I mean I had known that he’d liked me for ages. The way he just smiled and looked at me, it gave everything away. But he wasn’t embarrassed or anything, he just kept on smiling. Which was fine by me. He had an absolutely gorgeous smile.
“Brooke!” A voice called, scattering my thoughts. I turned around, startled,
“Ohhhh Hey Alex!” I called back, relieved that it was someone I knew, or rather, my best friend.
“Why are you home so late anyway?” He asked, amused “you been sneaking into ‘that guy’s’ room again?”
“…Not… exactly” I blushed. ‘That guy’ obviously referred to Ryan. Alex never liked him, but I had hoped that he would compromise, for my sake. He was, my best friend after all.
Seeing the scarlet tinge which had crept its way to my cheeks, he laughed.
“Wow!!” he cried out loud, still laughing. “He actually asked you out this time, didn’t he??”

Slowly, I nodded, feeling a grin begin to force itself across my face. And suddenly, I was running and jumping with him. Screaming and ducking as he aimed snowball after snowball at me. I was overjoyed! I couldn’t care less about what kind of a childish scene we were making; this was his way of congratulating me!!
Not that I minded of course, as Alex really did have a REALLY BAD AIM!
Eventually though, we calmed down enough to say goodbye and depart our separate ways.
“Hey Brooke, I just gotta offer my congratulations about you two.” He panted, out of breath from our extremely pathetic snowball fight, and victory dance.
“Jeeze!” I laughed, “You’d think Ryan and I were getting married or something!” I paused, thinking of how to outwit him.
“o0o0o0o0o, only your boyfriend, huh?” He challenged, “So tell me, why are you home so late again?”
Unable to think of an answer, I blushed again.
“The king wins again!!” he declared, marching back to his house.
“Whatever!!” I called after him, as I retreated into my own. As I ascended up the stairs, all I could hear was Alex’s ridiculous evil laughter dying away. I laughed quietly to myself before closing the bedroom door. I hadn’t felt this happy in ages!

My happiness was short lived.
My family was rather strict, about everything. Chores, school work, life. Both my parents work extremely hard to you know… To do what they do I guess? I have younger twin brothers who constantly fight for my attention. It’s almost as if I’m their nanny! But hey, what can you do? At least I know how to raise children when I get some of my own.
As soon as I closed the door, it was bombarded by Nick and Mike. Nicholas was the older one, but Michael was the one who always bossed Nick around. Poor Nick. Secretly, I liked him just a teeny bit more…
It seems as if I never get a moment of peace at home, which is why I, unlike the rest of the teenage population actually enjoy school. It’s actually less demanding- for me anyway.
But that night, I didn’t whine as much, I was silent and thinking happy thoughts as I completed the set tasks. Because I knew that I had something much more important to look forward to, tomorrow.

***

I was literally the centre of gossip the next day at school. Everyone was talking about it, how cute we were, how perfectly matched we seemed… I’m not kidding man, every single pair of eyes were on me and Ryan as we walked to class together. It was kind of creepy to be honest, I mean, have you ever had one of those times when you walk on stage and everyone’s just staring at you? And you feel like you’ve done something wrong but you haven’t? Like maybe you’ve forgotten a prop? Or even worse, your lines? Well, it was like that, except this wasn’t stage. This was real life.

So as you can imagine, I was immensely relieved when we finally ran into Alex, and his girlfriend Claire. I mean, if anyone could make me feel better, it would be these two.
“So...” I whispered, shivering in my school coat, in an attempt to keep warm, “How’s it going?”
“Pretty good,” Grinned Alex. Claire just shuffled around, aimlessly. She really was a shy person.
I leaned closer and whispered again, so that no one except them would hear. “When are you two off the low pro?”
“Well, you sure get to the point, don’t you?” Alex said, in a mock serious tone.
“Yeah… well… when are you?” I pressed on.
“As a matter of fact, we’re telling everyone today.” He altered his tone again, so that he resembled a snob.
“Awesome!” I laughed, and promptly gave them both a hug. I’m ashamed to say that it was only then when I realised that Ryan, who happened to be looking at the notices before, had disappeared.
“Um… Where’s Ryan?” Alex asked, now portraying a parental tone,
“He’s probably just gone to his locker to get his coat or something?” Claire filled in, wanting to please. “I mean poor guy, he’s probably freezing to death!”
“Well let’s head that way first then,” Alex declared. “And we can drag him along, on the way.”

So we marched forward. Left right, left right, left right, Halt.
No, Alex didn’t control that halt. We stopped because… well… I stopped because I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. To my shock and horror, Ryan was leaning in and about to kiss Melia, also known as the ‘school slut’
Well that’s what it looked like anyway. I felt sorry for her to be honest, who’d want a reputation like that?
And then suddenly…

...ACHOOOOOO!!

For a small guy, Alex really did have quite a loud… um… fake sneeze. It scared me half to death, and judging by the sudden alert expression on Claire’s face, I’m guessing it was a surprise to her as well. But none the less, it served its purpose; Ryan looked at us straight away.
“…Um…” He stammered, in a way which seemed almost guilty… “We were just…”
But before he could explain any further, Alex promptly cut him off.
“Better get your books ready, Class is starting in five.” He hinted.

The reaction was amazing as Melia took this chance to quietly scuttle off and the colour began to rush back into Ryan’s face. He then nervously gave me a quick peck on the cheek before rushing off himself.
“First block, PE!” Alex nudged me, breaking into my thoughts.
“I have science, so I better go,” Claire’s small sweet voice was barely audible as the bell went and the rush to first class began.
Alex enveloped her in a hug and sneaked a kiss, full on the lips, before letting her go.
I managed a small smile to myself, they were so cute together!

So yeah... Let me tell you about my form class. They were a bunch of wimps really. But still nice people- don’t get me wrong on that. As a class we were loyal and stuck with each other like a herd of sheep. But in PE, well let’s just say it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which ones were the more ‘Active’ ones.
Although it was freezing, I was still eager to get changed and go for a run, and I knew Alex felt the same as well, so it wasn’t really a surprise when I found him waiting by the fountain, with water, stopwatch and all.
“This,” he said, holing up the drink bottle, “is for you to drink and calm down with, if you suddenly get mad at me.”
He paused, as I tilted my head slightly, wonder what the hell he was up to.
“This,” He continued, holding up the stopwatch this time, “Is for us to use so it actually looks like we’re doing some kind of work.”
He paused again, as if to check that I was ready, and then, “Let’s go” He said, and started jogging before I had a chance to argue.
Not that there was anything to argue about really, running was my thing. And I know you probably think that it’s insane, but it’s not really that bad once you get used to it.

“I’m guessing there’s something you want to talk about?” I caught up to him, and asked, without really needing to.
“You know, Brooke, we’ve been best friends since way back,
and he flung out his right arm, as if to indicate just how long we’d been friends for.
“Ever since you sat by my side, when I was the new kid, I knew our friendship was going to be something special.” I smiled again, treasuring the memory. Honestly? I actually didn’t have any friends until Alex came along. It was no wonder we got on so well.
“And you weren’t just being nice either,” He continued, “I knew you were being a real friend when you stood up for me among all that bullying.”
Which was true, Alex was teased a lot in primary and secondary school, what choice did I have but to stick by him? I remember even bringing super glue to school one day, just to prove how serious I was!
“So just keep that in mind okay?” He paused, so I could answer.
“Okay.” I mumbled, “Go ahead.”

“I just don’t think Ryan is the right guy for you.” He blurted out.
I nodded, I’d known this was coming, I mean Alex had hated his guts ever since they’d met. It was stupid to have hoped that they would get along.
“… and I mean, Brooke! Come on! You deserve so much better than any guy who desires to be with HER!...”
But I was barely listening to what he was saying, because in my heart, I knew that we had all mistaken Ryan. He wasn’t about to kiss her, He was probably just trying to open his locker, and she was in his way. I could have kicked myself for not standing up for him.
“…Hello??” Alex’s voice broke into my thoughts yet again. “Brooke, are you listening to me?”
“Uhhh?” I squeaked back, “yeah… sure… whatever.”
“Promise me you’ll do it today?” he begged.
“Um…” I stammered, “Sure!” I replied,
Do what?

The rest of the day went by like a blur, but lunch… Boy, was that awkward. Alex kept glaring at Ryan, and Ryan? Well he just sort of squirmed under his gaze for about the whole hour. But hey, what could I do? Best friend vs. boyfriend? Give me a break!
As we were walking home, Alex brought up the topic again.
“When are you seeing him next?” He asked
“Um…” I began, stalling for time, “at 6 I guess, He’s taking me to the movies.” I glanced quickly at Alex, to see what he thought.
“Break it off then, okay?”
Then, seeing the alarm on my face, he got down on his knees and begged.
“Brooke! You promised! You said you would today and you should!! You deserve someone way better!”

I swear, I don’t know what came over me, one minute I was quiet and thinking about what I was gonna wear for tonight, and the next, I was screaming and slapping him. Like really.
“NO!” I shouted, angry at him for even suggesting it. “I’m NOT going to do it! We’ve only been out for like a day!!”
“Well a day of hurt is enough don’t you think?” He flung back.
“Hurt?” I cried, “What hurt? I’m not hurt! Why would I be? He hasn’t done anything wrong!”
“Oh, my God” Alex moaned, “Don’t tell me you weren’t the slightest bit ticked off about Melia- “
“Well, I wasn’t!” I cut in.
“Don’t even bother lying to me, Brooke, you know I can read you like a book!”
We’d reached the point where we separated now, his house on the left, mine on the right.
“Just please,” He continued, softly. “Please just break up with him, for your own good.”

“Please just break up with him, for your own good.”

And that’s when I started walking away.
“Tomorrow?” He asked, hopefully, “Next week? Brooke? BROOKE?! BROOKE !!!??!?”

But I wasn’t listening. I had to block that out you see, I wasn’t going to let one slice of jealousy ruin my special date.