Status: indefinite hiatus
Plug in Baby
Coffee and TV
The whole week passed by too slow for my liking, making me rather impatient as my anticipation for another Friday at Matt's finally arrived. It was silly that I was looking forward to seeing him again after Dom's words had a chance to sink in. I decided that Dom was the enemy, planting landmines in my mind that I had to carefully step around. I kept wondering how much, if anything, of what Dom told me last week was true. For some reason, I just didn't want to believe it because I something about the way Dom cleverly planted the idea in my head seemed a bit off. I just tried my best to push through these thoughts and get through my day without thinking about Matt's smile or Dom's words, horribly failing at every attempt.
I could feel the excitement of seeing Matt again boiling inside of me as I played with Matt's coat draped over my lap. Throughout the week, I found myself going back to that coat, though I had my own that fit me better. It was a nice gesture that Matt gave me his coat and every time I looked at it, I couldn't help but smile because it was a complete contradiction of what I first thought of him. I couldn't believe how different he was from our first encounter. It felt a little unreal to me. I was just waiting for the beast to rear its ugly head once again to reassure my thoughts of how there weren't really guys that wonderful in this world I lived in.
I sat in the passenger side of Symon's car, most likely going permanently deaf in both ears, trying to think of a way to make the insufferable noises cease. Symon was violently head banging to the loud, heavy metal guitars and double bass drums clashing together in loud noise. Instead of singing, the singer opted to screech and growl as if a demon had possessed him and was speaking for him like in 'The Exorcist' while Symon growled incoherently along. I pressed my palms flat against my ears, trying to block out the deafening music but with no avail.
Finally, feeling like I was going to claw out my ears and jump out of my skin to escape the satanic music, I reached over and turned it way down, letting out a sigh of relief when I could hear more silence than screaming. I leaned back in the chair, feeling more relaxed and smiled to myself for having stopped the reason I would lose my hearing.
Symon glanced at me like he had just seen an alien, which meant there was obvious astonishment in his beautiful face. He thought it was a horrible thing to lower his music under any circumstances so I had just committed an act of blasphemy in his whole religion of loud, metal music. I just wasn't as tolerant as some. I couldn't take it anymore.
"What in the bloody 'ell do yeh think yer doin' eh? Who said yeh could touch the volume on me radio?" Symon asked.
"I'm sorry but I've tolerated all I can. If I heard anymore incoherent screaming, I thought I might jump out of the window," I replied honestly.
"How's it incoherent?" he asked seriously.
"You can't hear a thing that man's saying! All you hear is 'rawr, hiss, rawr'!" I argued.
"I understood everything the bloke was sayin'," Symon shrugged.
"Well normal people like me couldn't understand shit," I sighed. "Seriously Symon, you know this music's not my kind of thing. Couldn't you play something I can at least be peaceful with and listen to this crap on the way home when I'm not in the car?" I asked honestly.
"But where's the fun in that?" he smiled.
"You're a jerk," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Aw sweet'eart! Don't get all aggro with meh 'bout this. I'm sorry," Symon said sincerely. "I was only foolin'."
"I'm not irritated. I'm sorry. I know you were just messing with me but seriously, there's only so much I can take before I snap and decide to murder you to make the music stop," I said as he looked at me in shock.
"Yeh wouldn't really murder meh, would yeh?" he asked.
"I was seriously thinking about it as an option," I laughed.
"Aw but then who would yeh hang out with at the pub?" he asked, slightly pouting.
"Owen and Lucy," I shrugged.
"But I'm the fun one!"
"Not if you're dead."
"Yeh wouldn't kill meh. Yeh love meh too much to do that."
"Don't test me Mr. Gage."
"Aw don't call meh that! I'm not me ol' man!" Symon said in disgust as I laughed.
"Fine, I will continue to call you Sy, the person who irritates my soul but whom I still love to pieces," I giggled.
"That's more like it," he grinned. "Go on with the ego boost."
"Oh, I'm done," I said.
His face fell slightly as his shoulders slumped, "Well that's no fun."
"Who said I was fun?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
"Yeh know, I really dunno. I guess I just decided it one day when we met," he shrugged. "I guess I was mistaken."
"I guess so," I shrugged, returning my gaze to the window.
We were in Matt's neighborhood now and close to his house. I felt myself smiling a bit at the thought of seeing him again, unable to stop it. I glanced over to Symon, seeing that he was too focused on looking straight ahead of him to notice my uncontrollable smile. I needed to stop feeling so anxious about seeing Matt again. It wasn't like anything was going to happen with him. I wouldn't let it. It just wasn't proper for me to have these feelings about someone who was my boss. I couldn't afford to lose this job because I couldn't control my feelings for him.
The more I thought about it, it didn't make sense why I liked Matt when I hardly knew him. The only things I knew about him for sure were that he is a musician and that he can't clean up after himself. Aside from that, I didn't know anything about him. The little time I spent around him was usually in awkward silence or little conversation. I couldn't deny a certain physical attraction for him but aside from that, I couldn't say I had a legitimate reason to have feelings deeper than that.
"Red door!" Symon said, finally spotting Matt's house.
"Dork," I laughed, shaking my head at him.
"What? I actually found the door meself and yer takin' a piss at meh?" he asked.
"Precisely," I smiled.
"Yer a mean bird, yeh are," he grumbled, pulling up next to the curb of Matt's house.
"But I still love you," I smiled, reaching over and giving him a hug.
"Oh yeah, that's what I like to hear," he said, wrapping his arms around me.
"Don't even think about feeling me up Symon," I laughed.
"Oh damn it! That was me plan this whole time! Yeh suck the fun outta everything, I swear!" Symon said, pulling away from me.
"Oh you'll live," I smiled.
"Go ta work already! Yeh'll be late at this rate if yeh sit 'ere yammerin' on," he said.
"Alright, I'll see you later tonight," I said.
He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before I got out of the car, making me smile at his gesture.
Symon was always someone who could make me smile no matter what the situation was. He's always been the person that made things fun when he felt like things needed more color in life. Out of all the boyfriends I've had, he was the most entertaining one but his propensity for fun led to our relationship to end. There were times where we both needed something other than fun and we knew that being together romantically, we would never get that. Our relationship was the easiest to end out of the others because it was a mutual decision whereas the others were ones that I ended. It was a wonder how Symon and I remained such good friends but I guess it had to do with we probably deserve each other in one form or another. I couldn't imagine life without Symon Gage, nor did I want to.
I walked up to Matt's house, hearing Symon's metal music blasting once again as he drove away, and felt my heart beat irregular. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the stupid giddy feeling that was starting to spread throughout my body, and started digging around in my purse for the keys. I found them in their usual spot, the bottom of the purse, and stuck his key into the lock, pausing for a moment and sucking in a deep breath before pushing the door open.
"It's only me!" I said loudly, walking into the house.
I didn't hear a response, though I figured I wouldn't anyway. Normally when I got here, I never did receive a response from him. I guess there was a part of me that wanted a response from him when I got here so I wouldn't run into him and embarrass myself. It seemed he rarely took notice of the times I arrived.
I placed Matt's coat back in the closet where it belonged before taking off my own coat. It actually wasn't so cold today so I had no need for a sweatshirt to keep me warm, which I was happy about. I was going through a phase where I didn't like wearing sweatshirts all the time. I was grateful for the sun for once. Change did everyone some good once in a while and I found that I needed a change.
I grabbed my iPod from my bag before setting it down on the ground. I put in my headphones and decided to get started for the day. I walked up the stairs to Matt's room, seeing his bedroom door was closed. I stared at the white wood, wondering if he was still sleeping. I stood there for a moment, wondering if I should knock or if I should just start cleaning the downstairs first. I didn't really want to disturb him if he was sleeping in there so I decided it was best to just walk back down the stairs and start cleaning.
Figuring that I had the opportunity to clean the piano room before anyone used it; I decided to start there so Matt would have a clean place to be in today. I grabbed the cleaning products from the laundry room and wandered down the hall to the room. Peeking inside, I saw that the room was empty and felt it safe to walk in there.
The room was in complete disarray with papers scattered everywhere and more takeout containers. There were dirty dishes all over the table and the fireplace needed to be swept out once again. Sighing, I started clearing the dishes from the room, deciding that I would get to those later, and swept out the fireplace. I worked diligently, making sure that every surface was free of dust and that the room didn't look like a trash heap before moving on to the kitchen.
I spent the first hour of my time cleaning the piano room and tackling the kitchen before I felt a presence behind me. Turning my head slightly, I glanced over my shoulder at Matt, who was slowly trudging toward the kitchen, yawning and scratching the back of his head. He was dressed in a pair of tight white pants and a white long sleeve button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up once again. His hair was styled perfectly once again to look like he rolled right out of bed, sticking up in different places.
I pulled out one of my ear buds and tucked it into the collar of my shirt so I would be able to hear him. I turned back to washing the dishes in the sink as he walked in through the doorway, trying to make it seem like I hadn't been watching him this whole time.
"Morning Matt," I said cheerily, scrubbing on plate ferociously with the sponge.
"Mornin'," he said, sounding less enthusiastic than normal.
He walked past me, heading straight for the coffeepot and opening the cabinet above it. He seemed to be searching for something that wasn't there because he closed it a moment later, slightly frowning at the door. He glanced over at me for a moment, smiling to himself, before he turned back towards the front room.
"I'm goin' out for coffee since I have none here," he told me.
"I put your coat back in the closet for you," I said, rinsing the plate I had been scrubbing.
"Thank you," he said, turning back around. "Do you want anything from the shop?"
"Oh, um," I said, caught off guard by his offer. "No, it's alright, thanks."
"You sure? It's my treat," he smiled.
"Well," I said, feeling unsure still about this offer. Thinking about it, a cup of coffee did sound rather nice so I nodded, "A cup of coffee?"
"Sure," he nodded. "Do you take it any specific way?"
"Just some sugar," I said, walking out of the kitchen. "Here, I'll give you some money for it," I told him, heading towards my purse.
"Nah, that's ok. I told you, it's my treat," he smiled, putting his hands up as a signal to stop.
"It's alright, you know. I don't mind paying for it myself," I said, not sure how to feel about his gesture.
"Just like I don't mind paying for it," he argued back, that damn smile still on his face.
I sighed in defeat, "Alright then. Thank you."
"No problem," he said, turning to the closet. He picked up his coat, the one that I returned to him, and slipped it on before heading to the front door. "I'll be back in about ten minutes or so."
"Ok," I nodded.
He walked out of the house, shutting the door quietly as he went and leaving me to stand there with a fluttering feeling in my heart. I bit my lower lip, trying to stop the uncontrollable smile from spreading across my face but it was useless. That smile was already on my face because my feelings were misplaced. I reminded myself that I was going to destroy the enemy known as Dom for planting this idea in my head. Before he traipsed into the kitchen for his daily dose of vitamin C, I was perfectly content with my wavering feelings for Matthew Bellamy. After that stupid, grinning fool gave his speech, I've been completely messed up. He was so going to pay for that.
I decided that since Matt was out of his bedroom, I should gather the laundry and start it so I could finish it before I left for the day. I wandered up the stairs to the bedroom, seeing that it really wasn't as dirty as it has been. There were no clothes on the floor and the bed was already made. I walked over to the comforter, picking up the blanket and giving it a sniff. It smelled of the laundry soap I used on Matt's clothing, which meant he already did his laundry.
I felt a little confused because he just seemed so incapable of looking after himself. Before I came along, he probably would've just worn dirty, smelly clothing wherever he went but now, he was washing his own clothes. I was beginning to wonder what got into him but I figured it was just a fluke. Next week, I would be back to washing his clothes.
I straightened up the room quickly, since it was only a few things were out of place and then wandered back into the kitchen where I was washing dishes. I got back to work immediately, swaying side to side as I scrubbed the dishes and softly singing along to the random songs that started to play through my headphones. Nodding along, I found myself finishing up in the kitchen quicker than I thought I would have.
I started cleaning the front room, straightening up the pillows on the plushy couch and then making piles of the magazines and papers scattered across the table. I was beginning to wonder what I would have left to clean after this, other than the bathrooms. Things weren't as messy this week as they had been, demonstrating that Matt was more than capable of cleaning up after himself. Was this his way of getting rid of me? Was he unhappy with the way I was doing things? There were too many questions running through my mind, making me think that I would have to find a new job soon in order to make rent on my flat. I needed to work five days a week to pay for living in Soho. It was too expensive to not work full-time.
My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder, making me jump a little. My eyes flew directly to Matt's blue ones as he held out a coffee mug to me, his eyebrows knit together in confusion as he studied my expression. His eyes seemed to show worry but I wasn't sure what to think about it. I set down the magazines I had been holding in my hands and took out my earphones, wrapping them around my neck.
"Thank you," I said quietly, taking the cup from him.
Matt took a seat next to me, stirring his coffee with a spoon and watching me with the same expression. I diverted my eyes away, looking into the dark brown liquid in my cup and worrying about finding another Friday job. I took a sip, feeling the coffee's warmth spread down my throat as I swallowed it, relishing in the taste.
"Azriel," Matt said, startling me out of my contentment with my beverage. I looked up at him questioningly. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I nodded in reassurance, adding a small smile.
"You sure? You look confused," he said.
"Well, I have a question," I said, tracing my fingers around the top of the cup in endless circles. Matt's body seemed to perk up at this admission, unconsciously leaning a little closer to me, demonstrating his interest in my question. "Are you planning on firing me or something?"
"What? No, of course not," he chuckled, as I breathed out in relief. "What would make you think such a thing?"
"Well, things aren't so messy as they have been so I thought maybe you started picking up after yourself. If you do that, then there's really no use in my being here, is there?" I laughed nervously, setting the cup on the table and wringing my hands together.
"I'm not firing you," he said reassuringly. "Though I didn't really want you to clean today so I picked up a bit to lighten your load," he admitted as I looked at him in shock.
"Why?" I asked incredulously.
"Honestly," he sighed, taking a sip of coffee before speaking again, "I just wanted to spend some time with you today."
"Again, why?" I asked in the same tone.
"I guess I just want to get to know you better is all or perhaps I'm just in need of some comfort to soothe my loneliness. I don't really know," he shrugged. "I'll still pay you for the full day. I just need to bide my time with someone new doin' something that's not music related. I just want a normal day."
I sat there for a moment, feeling perplexed about his proposal and the intentions behind it. It was making me wonder if he had some ulterior motives behind them or if he was just striving for a moment of solace where he didn't have to worry about the band or his music. I felt a little unsure but still intrigued by his offer. The part of me that was attracted to him was telling me to stay while another part of me was thinking that this was all some kind of trick. Thinking about it for a moment, I took another sip of coffee.
"Ok," I said quietly, setting the mug back on the table. I turned so that I was looking at him as a smile spread across that beautiful face of his. I ran a hand through my red curls before settling them in my lap comfortably. "Just so we're clear though, we're only going to hang out. I'm not going to sleep with you or anything."
"Of course not!" he laughed. "This isn't a ploy to get you into bed, I promise. I will behave like a gentleman."
I nodded, "I just wanted to make that clear."
"It's understood," he said, setting his mug down on the table.
"So, did you have a particular plan for what you wanted to do today or are we just gonna wing it?" I asked.
"Um, what would you do if you had a day off from work?" he asked, scratching the back of his head.
"I normally paint but that's usually because I have an assignment for school. I rarely get to paint out of pleasure these days with my schedule," I replied, leaning back against the couch. "I guess I would watch television. I never usually get the time to sit down and watch anything because I'm so tired all the time."
"Well, we could just do that then," he smiled, reaching for the remote. "Do you have anything in particular that you would like to watch?"
"I guess anything interesting. I'm not too picky," I shrugged.
He leaned back against the couch, turning on the flat screen and flipping through the millions of channels that he had because he had cable. I was skimming through the titles of shows, wondering which one we should watch when I saw that 'House' was on, a show that I had been meaning to watch but never could since I had school on Thursday nights when it was on.
"Do you mind if we watch 'House'? My flatmate, Lucy, told me that I needed to see this show," I said, biting my bottom lip nervously.
He gave me a slight nod, smiling a bit, "Sure."
He flipped on the show as we settled into the couch, watching the beginning scene where people were walking into a church where a young man started preaching about healing through the power of Jesus rather than through the advancement of science and medicine. I laughed a little at how ridiculous he sounded and then laughed even louder when he needed a doctor. Matt shot me a curious look and I just shook my head, smiling at the television.
We spent the next hour watching the episode, laughing at how utterly absurd the patient was and at all the things said by House. I found him to be rude, obnoxious, egotistical, relentless, and a complete smartass. As I watched further, I found myself warming up to him and by the end of the episode when the diagnosis is discovered; I wanted to hang out with him and his oncologist friend Wilson. I imagined drinking with the two of them at the bar, House speaking negatively, Wilson trying to look on the bright side of things, and me acting as the balance between House's negativity and Wilson's positive look on life. I had a feeling that if they were real, they would definitely be my kind of people to spend time with.
From time to time, I glanced over to Matt, who seemed as engrossed in the television as I was. There were times where we made eye contact, thinking we had been sly to slip a peek at one another and then getting caught. We would quickly look back to the television and say nothing about it. It made me wonder why Matt seemed to watch me so often. I wondered what was so fascinating about me that he felt the need to stare at me.
"I really like him," I said aloud, my eyes still focused on the television.
"Who? House?" Matt questioned, glancing at me.
"Yeah," I smiled, looking to Matt.
"Really? Why's that?" Matt asked, seemingly shocked.
"Well, though I find him to be a complete asshole most of the time, it's really obvious that it's just a ruse, a way to keep everyone else away from him. He only has his friend Wilson, who coincidentally, is House's conscious, which says a lot about him in general if they're both able to keep a friendship with their different views on things. I guess there's that born female instinct in me that's attracted to him because he's so obviously damaged and I want to fix it," I explained, talking with my hands.
"What is it with women and damaged men that gets their knickers in a twist?" Matt asked seriously as I laughed at his phrasing.
"Women want to fix things on an emotional level whereas men usually want to fix things externally. It's just different I guess," I shrugged. "But let's just make one thing clear, I don't want someone like him romantically. That would just be too much work and I'm too young for all that angst and pain. I would rather just be a friend and act as the median of the angel and devil," I said.
"So you wanna be their mate who acts as referee?" Matt asked quizzically.
"It's no different from what I do now for my flatmates so I don't see the harm," I shrugged. "I guess this would just be more of a challenge because House is more of a jerk than Symon is."
"You're really an interesting person, you know that?" Matt said seriously after a moment of silence.
"Why?" I laughed. "Because I could explain myself really well when it came to talking about a fictional character I enjoyed?"
"Because that entire explanation made logical sense," he said.
"Thanks," I said, narrowing my eyes at him questioningly. "I tend to make a lot of sense most of the time though I know I don't look it most of the time."
He laughed, shaking his head as we shifted our attention to the next episode of the medical comedy/drama. I found that I was slowly becoming attached to the show purely due to House's outrageously inappropriately hilarious comments to his staff and to the patients. There was something about Dr. Gregory House that was really starting to grow on me. I could tell that I would be watching this series whenever I got the chance.
We spent hours sitting on the couch, watching the show and unconsciously moving closer to one another on the couch. It wasn't long until I noticed that we were right next to each other, almost touching when I started to feel that stupid fluttering of my heart, urging me to move even closer to him. We had occasional conversation about the episode but nothing more than that was said. Around Matt, I didn't feel the need to carry on much of a conversation and neither did he. I felt really comfortable in the silence we shared a majority of the time since most of the time, I hated sitting with someone I barely knew in silence. It always made me question their thoughts.
I glanced at the clock on the wall near the television, seeing that it was nearing six in the evening and sighed loudly. Matt glanced at me questioning as I stared despondently into the empty coffee mug on the table. Our time was to come to an end and right now, I really didn't want it to. I wanted to stay and watch more of the antihero in the exaggerated medical drama with Matt, who had an effect on me that turned me into a young schoolgirl with a crush on the older, cooler guy. Though I hated the thought of that, I also enjoyed the feeling of liking someone. It had been too long since I had a crush on anyone.
"I should probably be heading home now. It's getting late," I said quietly.
"Oh," Matt said, glancing at the wall where the clock was and then back to me, a look of sadness in his eyes. "Right, well I guess so," he sighed.
"I had a lot of fun today though," I said reassuringly. "This is probably the first time I've ever gotten paid to sit on a couch and watch something I found highly amusing," I laughed.
"Well, you know what they say, 'there's a first time for everything', ya know?" he laughed along with me.
"I guess so," I nodded, tucking some of my hair behind my left ear. "Though next week, don't clean up the house. Let the professionals take care of the domestic work."
"If that is your wish," he dramatically sighed, shooting me a tiny smile.
"Seriously, I wish," I said. "I don't want to get paid for doing absolutely no work. Makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of your generosity," I told him.
"Trust me, you're the one being more than generous by spendin' time with me rather than doin' your job. You could've easily gone home and left me here all alone," he said.
"No I couldn't," I said, shaking my head. "You were paying me to do something and as it so happens, it was something I really liked to do so I guess it was a fair trade off if we both had a good time."
"I agree," he smiled.
We fell into an awkward silence, neither one of us knowing what to say. It seemed that whenever our conversations came to an end, it was always awkward. It made me wonder if he felt the same way I felt about ending our conversations. I didn't really want them to end. I wanted to spend more time with him but I had a feeling that Owen would start calling me soon to ask where I've been. I hated concerning Owen because he was overprotective of me the way an older brother was, which I appreciated most of the time. I decided to make it home before he called and decided to pick me up.
I stood from the couch, running a hand through my hair and then stepping around Matt to the closet, grabbing my coat. I could feel his presence close behind me as I slipped the coat on, grabbing my bag from the floor and digging around for my cell phone. Looking it over, I saw that I didn't have a missed call so I was safe for the time being. I looked up at Matt, who was standing at the door, ready to open it whenever I needed.
"Well, today was interesting," I said.
"It was. I'm glad we both slacked off today," he smiled.
"I am too," I said with a nod. "Well, next week then?"
"Definitely," he replied, opening the door for me.
"Bye Matt," I waved.
"Bye Azriel," he replied quietly as I walked through the threshold and down the steps.
I kept walking down the street, putting my headphones back on and listening to the atmospheric music by Angels and Airwaves. Tom DeLong's voice drifted in and out against the slow musical backdrop, making me slow my walk a bit as I trotted along. I probably looked silly to people passing by in their cars on their drive home from another day at the office but I remained oblivious, too wrapped up in the giddy feeling I had from spending an entire day with Matt where it seemed like we were friends of sorts.
'I think I like today. I think it's good. It's something I can't get my head around.'
Yes Tom, I think I'll have to agree with that statement. Today was a very good day indeed.
I could feel the excitement of seeing Matt again boiling inside of me as I played with Matt's coat draped over my lap. Throughout the week, I found myself going back to that coat, though I had my own that fit me better. It was a nice gesture that Matt gave me his coat and every time I looked at it, I couldn't help but smile because it was a complete contradiction of what I first thought of him. I couldn't believe how different he was from our first encounter. It felt a little unreal to me. I was just waiting for the beast to rear its ugly head once again to reassure my thoughts of how there weren't really guys that wonderful in this world I lived in.
I sat in the passenger side of Symon's car, most likely going permanently deaf in both ears, trying to think of a way to make the insufferable noises cease. Symon was violently head banging to the loud, heavy metal guitars and double bass drums clashing together in loud noise. Instead of singing, the singer opted to screech and growl as if a demon had possessed him and was speaking for him like in 'The Exorcist' while Symon growled incoherently along. I pressed my palms flat against my ears, trying to block out the deafening music but with no avail.
Finally, feeling like I was going to claw out my ears and jump out of my skin to escape the satanic music, I reached over and turned it way down, letting out a sigh of relief when I could hear more silence than screaming. I leaned back in the chair, feeling more relaxed and smiled to myself for having stopped the reason I would lose my hearing.
Symon glanced at me like he had just seen an alien, which meant there was obvious astonishment in his beautiful face. He thought it was a horrible thing to lower his music under any circumstances so I had just committed an act of blasphemy in his whole religion of loud, metal music. I just wasn't as tolerant as some. I couldn't take it anymore.
"What in the bloody 'ell do yeh think yer doin' eh? Who said yeh could touch the volume on me radio?" Symon asked.
"I'm sorry but I've tolerated all I can. If I heard anymore incoherent screaming, I thought I might jump out of the window," I replied honestly.
"How's it incoherent?" he asked seriously.
"You can't hear a thing that man's saying! All you hear is 'rawr, hiss, rawr'!" I argued.
"I understood everything the bloke was sayin'," Symon shrugged.
"Well normal people like me couldn't understand shit," I sighed. "Seriously Symon, you know this music's not my kind of thing. Couldn't you play something I can at least be peaceful with and listen to this crap on the way home when I'm not in the car?" I asked honestly.
"But where's the fun in that?" he smiled.
"You're a jerk," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Aw sweet'eart! Don't get all aggro with meh 'bout this. I'm sorry," Symon said sincerely. "I was only foolin'."
"I'm not irritated. I'm sorry. I know you were just messing with me but seriously, there's only so much I can take before I snap and decide to murder you to make the music stop," I said as he looked at me in shock.
"Yeh wouldn't really murder meh, would yeh?" he asked.
"I was seriously thinking about it as an option," I laughed.
"Aw but then who would yeh hang out with at the pub?" he asked, slightly pouting.
"Owen and Lucy," I shrugged.
"But I'm the fun one!"
"Not if you're dead."
"Yeh wouldn't kill meh. Yeh love meh too much to do that."
"Don't test me Mr. Gage."
"Aw don't call meh that! I'm not me ol' man!" Symon said in disgust as I laughed.
"Fine, I will continue to call you Sy, the person who irritates my soul but whom I still love to pieces," I giggled.
"That's more like it," he grinned. "Go on with the ego boost."
"Oh, I'm done," I said.
His face fell slightly as his shoulders slumped, "Well that's no fun."
"Who said I was fun?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
"Yeh know, I really dunno. I guess I just decided it one day when we met," he shrugged. "I guess I was mistaken."
"I guess so," I shrugged, returning my gaze to the window.
We were in Matt's neighborhood now and close to his house. I felt myself smiling a bit at the thought of seeing him again, unable to stop it. I glanced over to Symon, seeing that he was too focused on looking straight ahead of him to notice my uncontrollable smile. I needed to stop feeling so anxious about seeing Matt again. It wasn't like anything was going to happen with him. I wouldn't let it. It just wasn't proper for me to have these feelings about someone who was my boss. I couldn't afford to lose this job because I couldn't control my feelings for him.
The more I thought about it, it didn't make sense why I liked Matt when I hardly knew him. The only things I knew about him for sure were that he is a musician and that he can't clean up after himself. Aside from that, I didn't know anything about him. The little time I spent around him was usually in awkward silence or little conversation. I couldn't deny a certain physical attraction for him but aside from that, I couldn't say I had a legitimate reason to have feelings deeper than that.
"Red door!" Symon said, finally spotting Matt's house.
"Dork," I laughed, shaking my head at him.
"What? I actually found the door meself and yer takin' a piss at meh?" he asked.
"Precisely," I smiled.
"Yer a mean bird, yeh are," he grumbled, pulling up next to the curb of Matt's house.
"But I still love you," I smiled, reaching over and giving him a hug.
"Oh yeah, that's what I like to hear," he said, wrapping his arms around me.
"Don't even think about feeling me up Symon," I laughed.
"Oh damn it! That was me plan this whole time! Yeh suck the fun outta everything, I swear!" Symon said, pulling away from me.
"Oh you'll live," I smiled.
"Go ta work already! Yeh'll be late at this rate if yeh sit 'ere yammerin' on," he said.
"Alright, I'll see you later tonight," I said.
He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before I got out of the car, making me smile at his gesture.
Symon was always someone who could make me smile no matter what the situation was. He's always been the person that made things fun when he felt like things needed more color in life. Out of all the boyfriends I've had, he was the most entertaining one but his propensity for fun led to our relationship to end. There were times where we both needed something other than fun and we knew that being together romantically, we would never get that. Our relationship was the easiest to end out of the others because it was a mutual decision whereas the others were ones that I ended. It was a wonder how Symon and I remained such good friends but I guess it had to do with we probably deserve each other in one form or another. I couldn't imagine life without Symon Gage, nor did I want to.
I walked up to Matt's house, hearing Symon's metal music blasting once again as he drove away, and felt my heart beat irregular. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the stupid giddy feeling that was starting to spread throughout my body, and started digging around in my purse for the keys. I found them in their usual spot, the bottom of the purse, and stuck his key into the lock, pausing for a moment and sucking in a deep breath before pushing the door open.
"It's only me!" I said loudly, walking into the house.
I didn't hear a response, though I figured I wouldn't anyway. Normally when I got here, I never did receive a response from him. I guess there was a part of me that wanted a response from him when I got here so I wouldn't run into him and embarrass myself. It seemed he rarely took notice of the times I arrived.
I placed Matt's coat back in the closet where it belonged before taking off my own coat. It actually wasn't so cold today so I had no need for a sweatshirt to keep me warm, which I was happy about. I was going through a phase where I didn't like wearing sweatshirts all the time. I was grateful for the sun for once. Change did everyone some good once in a while and I found that I needed a change.
I grabbed my iPod from my bag before setting it down on the ground. I put in my headphones and decided to get started for the day. I walked up the stairs to Matt's room, seeing his bedroom door was closed. I stared at the white wood, wondering if he was still sleeping. I stood there for a moment, wondering if I should knock or if I should just start cleaning the downstairs first. I didn't really want to disturb him if he was sleeping in there so I decided it was best to just walk back down the stairs and start cleaning.
Figuring that I had the opportunity to clean the piano room before anyone used it; I decided to start there so Matt would have a clean place to be in today. I grabbed the cleaning products from the laundry room and wandered down the hall to the room. Peeking inside, I saw that the room was empty and felt it safe to walk in there.
The room was in complete disarray with papers scattered everywhere and more takeout containers. There were dirty dishes all over the table and the fireplace needed to be swept out once again. Sighing, I started clearing the dishes from the room, deciding that I would get to those later, and swept out the fireplace. I worked diligently, making sure that every surface was free of dust and that the room didn't look like a trash heap before moving on to the kitchen.
I spent the first hour of my time cleaning the piano room and tackling the kitchen before I felt a presence behind me. Turning my head slightly, I glanced over my shoulder at Matt, who was slowly trudging toward the kitchen, yawning and scratching the back of his head. He was dressed in a pair of tight white pants and a white long sleeve button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up once again. His hair was styled perfectly once again to look like he rolled right out of bed, sticking up in different places.
I pulled out one of my ear buds and tucked it into the collar of my shirt so I would be able to hear him. I turned back to washing the dishes in the sink as he walked in through the doorway, trying to make it seem like I hadn't been watching him this whole time.
"Morning Matt," I said cheerily, scrubbing on plate ferociously with the sponge.
"Mornin'," he said, sounding less enthusiastic than normal.
He walked past me, heading straight for the coffeepot and opening the cabinet above it. He seemed to be searching for something that wasn't there because he closed it a moment later, slightly frowning at the door. He glanced over at me for a moment, smiling to himself, before he turned back towards the front room.
"I'm goin' out for coffee since I have none here," he told me.
"I put your coat back in the closet for you," I said, rinsing the plate I had been scrubbing.
"Thank you," he said, turning back around. "Do you want anything from the shop?"
"Oh, um," I said, caught off guard by his offer. "No, it's alright, thanks."
"You sure? It's my treat," he smiled.
"Well," I said, feeling unsure still about this offer. Thinking about it, a cup of coffee did sound rather nice so I nodded, "A cup of coffee?"
"Sure," he nodded. "Do you take it any specific way?"
"Just some sugar," I said, walking out of the kitchen. "Here, I'll give you some money for it," I told him, heading towards my purse.
"Nah, that's ok. I told you, it's my treat," he smiled, putting his hands up as a signal to stop.
"It's alright, you know. I don't mind paying for it myself," I said, not sure how to feel about his gesture.
"Just like I don't mind paying for it," he argued back, that damn smile still on his face.
I sighed in defeat, "Alright then. Thank you."
"No problem," he said, turning to the closet. He picked up his coat, the one that I returned to him, and slipped it on before heading to the front door. "I'll be back in about ten minutes or so."
"Ok," I nodded.
He walked out of the house, shutting the door quietly as he went and leaving me to stand there with a fluttering feeling in my heart. I bit my lower lip, trying to stop the uncontrollable smile from spreading across my face but it was useless. That smile was already on my face because my feelings were misplaced. I reminded myself that I was going to destroy the enemy known as Dom for planting this idea in my head. Before he traipsed into the kitchen for his daily dose of vitamin C, I was perfectly content with my wavering feelings for Matthew Bellamy. After that stupid, grinning fool gave his speech, I've been completely messed up. He was so going to pay for that.
I decided that since Matt was out of his bedroom, I should gather the laundry and start it so I could finish it before I left for the day. I wandered up the stairs to the bedroom, seeing that it really wasn't as dirty as it has been. There were no clothes on the floor and the bed was already made. I walked over to the comforter, picking up the blanket and giving it a sniff. It smelled of the laundry soap I used on Matt's clothing, which meant he already did his laundry.
I felt a little confused because he just seemed so incapable of looking after himself. Before I came along, he probably would've just worn dirty, smelly clothing wherever he went but now, he was washing his own clothes. I was beginning to wonder what got into him but I figured it was just a fluke. Next week, I would be back to washing his clothes.
I straightened up the room quickly, since it was only a few things were out of place and then wandered back into the kitchen where I was washing dishes. I got back to work immediately, swaying side to side as I scrubbed the dishes and softly singing along to the random songs that started to play through my headphones. Nodding along, I found myself finishing up in the kitchen quicker than I thought I would have.
I started cleaning the front room, straightening up the pillows on the plushy couch and then making piles of the magazines and papers scattered across the table. I was beginning to wonder what I would have left to clean after this, other than the bathrooms. Things weren't as messy this week as they had been, demonstrating that Matt was more than capable of cleaning up after himself. Was this his way of getting rid of me? Was he unhappy with the way I was doing things? There were too many questions running through my mind, making me think that I would have to find a new job soon in order to make rent on my flat. I needed to work five days a week to pay for living in Soho. It was too expensive to not work full-time.
My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder, making me jump a little. My eyes flew directly to Matt's blue ones as he held out a coffee mug to me, his eyebrows knit together in confusion as he studied my expression. His eyes seemed to show worry but I wasn't sure what to think about it. I set down the magazines I had been holding in my hands and took out my earphones, wrapping them around my neck.
"Thank you," I said quietly, taking the cup from him.
Matt took a seat next to me, stirring his coffee with a spoon and watching me with the same expression. I diverted my eyes away, looking into the dark brown liquid in my cup and worrying about finding another Friday job. I took a sip, feeling the coffee's warmth spread down my throat as I swallowed it, relishing in the taste.
"Azriel," Matt said, startling me out of my contentment with my beverage. I looked up at him questioningly. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," I nodded in reassurance, adding a small smile.
"You sure? You look confused," he said.
"Well, I have a question," I said, tracing my fingers around the top of the cup in endless circles. Matt's body seemed to perk up at this admission, unconsciously leaning a little closer to me, demonstrating his interest in my question. "Are you planning on firing me or something?"
"What? No, of course not," he chuckled, as I breathed out in relief. "What would make you think such a thing?"
"Well, things aren't so messy as they have been so I thought maybe you started picking up after yourself. If you do that, then there's really no use in my being here, is there?" I laughed nervously, setting the cup on the table and wringing my hands together.
"I'm not firing you," he said reassuringly. "Though I didn't really want you to clean today so I picked up a bit to lighten your load," he admitted as I looked at him in shock.
"Why?" I asked incredulously.
"Honestly," he sighed, taking a sip of coffee before speaking again, "I just wanted to spend some time with you today."
"Again, why?" I asked in the same tone.
"I guess I just want to get to know you better is all or perhaps I'm just in need of some comfort to soothe my loneliness. I don't really know," he shrugged. "I'll still pay you for the full day. I just need to bide my time with someone new doin' something that's not music related. I just want a normal day."
I sat there for a moment, feeling perplexed about his proposal and the intentions behind it. It was making me wonder if he had some ulterior motives behind them or if he was just striving for a moment of solace where he didn't have to worry about the band or his music. I felt a little unsure but still intrigued by his offer. The part of me that was attracted to him was telling me to stay while another part of me was thinking that this was all some kind of trick. Thinking about it for a moment, I took another sip of coffee.
"Ok," I said quietly, setting the mug back on the table. I turned so that I was looking at him as a smile spread across that beautiful face of his. I ran a hand through my red curls before settling them in my lap comfortably. "Just so we're clear though, we're only going to hang out. I'm not going to sleep with you or anything."
"Of course not!" he laughed. "This isn't a ploy to get you into bed, I promise. I will behave like a gentleman."
I nodded, "I just wanted to make that clear."
"It's understood," he said, setting his mug down on the table.
"So, did you have a particular plan for what you wanted to do today or are we just gonna wing it?" I asked.
"Um, what would you do if you had a day off from work?" he asked, scratching the back of his head.
"I normally paint but that's usually because I have an assignment for school. I rarely get to paint out of pleasure these days with my schedule," I replied, leaning back against the couch. "I guess I would watch television. I never usually get the time to sit down and watch anything because I'm so tired all the time."
"Well, we could just do that then," he smiled, reaching for the remote. "Do you have anything in particular that you would like to watch?"
"I guess anything interesting. I'm not too picky," I shrugged.
He leaned back against the couch, turning on the flat screen and flipping through the millions of channels that he had because he had cable. I was skimming through the titles of shows, wondering which one we should watch when I saw that 'House' was on, a show that I had been meaning to watch but never could since I had school on Thursday nights when it was on.
"Do you mind if we watch 'House'? My flatmate, Lucy, told me that I needed to see this show," I said, biting my bottom lip nervously.
He gave me a slight nod, smiling a bit, "Sure."
He flipped on the show as we settled into the couch, watching the beginning scene where people were walking into a church where a young man started preaching about healing through the power of Jesus rather than through the advancement of science and medicine. I laughed a little at how ridiculous he sounded and then laughed even louder when he needed a doctor. Matt shot me a curious look and I just shook my head, smiling at the television.
We spent the next hour watching the episode, laughing at how utterly absurd the patient was and at all the things said by House. I found him to be rude, obnoxious, egotistical, relentless, and a complete smartass. As I watched further, I found myself warming up to him and by the end of the episode when the diagnosis is discovered; I wanted to hang out with him and his oncologist friend Wilson. I imagined drinking with the two of them at the bar, House speaking negatively, Wilson trying to look on the bright side of things, and me acting as the balance between House's negativity and Wilson's positive look on life. I had a feeling that if they were real, they would definitely be my kind of people to spend time with.
From time to time, I glanced over to Matt, who seemed as engrossed in the television as I was. There were times where we made eye contact, thinking we had been sly to slip a peek at one another and then getting caught. We would quickly look back to the television and say nothing about it. It made me wonder why Matt seemed to watch me so often. I wondered what was so fascinating about me that he felt the need to stare at me.
"I really like him," I said aloud, my eyes still focused on the television.
"Who? House?" Matt questioned, glancing at me.
"Yeah," I smiled, looking to Matt.
"Really? Why's that?" Matt asked, seemingly shocked.
"Well, though I find him to be a complete asshole most of the time, it's really obvious that it's just a ruse, a way to keep everyone else away from him. He only has his friend Wilson, who coincidentally, is House's conscious, which says a lot about him in general if they're both able to keep a friendship with their different views on things. I guess there's that born female instinct in me that's attracted to him because he's so obviously damaged and I want to fix it," I explained, talking with my hands.
"What is it with women and damaged men that gets their knickers in a twist?" Matt asked seriously as I laughed at his phrasing.
"Women want to fix things on an emotional level whereas men usually want to fix things externally. It's just different I guess," I shrugged. "But let's just make one thing clear, I don't want someone like him romantically. That would just be too much work and I'm too young for all that angst and pain. I would rather just be a friend and act as the median of the angel and devil," I said.
"So you wanna be their mate who acts as referee?" Matt asked quizzically.
"It's no different from what I do now for my flatmates so I don't see the harm," I shrugged. "I guess this would just be more of a challenge because House is more of a jerk than Symon is."
"You're really an interesting person, you know that?" Matt said seriously after a moment of silence.
"Why?" I laughed. "Because I could explain myself really well when it came to talking about a fictional character I enjoyed?"
"Because that entire explanation made logical sense," he said.
"Thanks," I said, narrowing my eyes at him questioningly. "I tend to make a lot of sense most of the time though I know I don't look it most of the time."
He laughed, shaking his head as we shifted our attention to the next episode of the medical comedy/drama. I found that I was slowly becoming attached to the show purely due to House's outrageously inappropriately hilarious comments to his staff and to the patients. There was something about Dr. Gregory House that was really starting to grow on me. I could tell that I would be watching this series whenever I got the chance.
We spent hours sitting on the couch, watching the show and unconsciously moving closer to one another on the couch. It wasn't long until I noticed that we were right next to each other, almost touching when I started to feel that stupid fluttering of my heart, urging me to move even closer to him. We had occasional conversation about the episode but nothing more than that was said. Around Matt, I didn't feel the need to carry on much of a conversation and neither did he. I felt really comfortable in the silence we shared a majority of the time since most of the time, I hated sitting with someone I barely knew in silence. It always made me question their thoughts.
I glanced at the clock on the wall near the television, seeing that it was nearing six in the evening and sighed loudly. Matt glanced at me questioning as I stared despondently into the empty coffee mug on the table. Our time was to come to an end and right now, I really didn't want it to. I wanted to stay and watch more of the antihero in the exaggerated medical drama with Matt, who had an effect on me that turned me into a young schoolgirl with a crush on the older, cooler guy. Though I hated the thought of that, I also enjoyed the feeling of liking someone. It had been too long since I had a crush on anyone.
"I should probably be heading home now. It's getting late," I said quietly.
"Oh," Matt said, glancing at the wall where the clock was and then back to me, a look of sadness in his eyes. "Right, well I guess so," he sighed.
"I had a lot of fun today though," I said reassuringly. "This is probably the first time I've ever gotten paid to sit on a couch and watch something I found highly amusing," I laughed.
"Well, you know what they say, 'there's a first time for everything', ya know?" he laughed along with me.
"I guess so," I nodded, tucking some of my hair behind my left ear. "Though next week, don't clean up the house. Let the professionals take care of the domestic work."
"If that is your wish," he dramatically sighed, shooting me a tiny smile.
"Seriously, I wish," I said. "I don't want to get paid for doing absolutely no work. Makes me feel like I'm taking advantage of your generosity," I told him.
"Trust me, you're the one being more than generous by spendin' time with me rather than doin' your job. You could've easily gone home and left me here all alone," he said.
"No I couldn't," I said, shaking my head. "You were paying me to do something and as it so happens, it was something I really liked to do so I guess it was a fair trade off if we both had a good time."
"I agree," he smiled.
We fell into an awkward silence, neither one of us knowing what to say. It seemed that whenever our conversations came to an end, it was always awkward. It made me wonder if he felt the same way I felt about ending our conversations. I didn't really want them to end. I wanted to spend more time with him but I had a feeling that Owen would start calling me soon to ask where I've been. I hated concerning Owen because he was overprotective of me the way an older brother was, which I appreciated most of the time. I decided to make it home before he called and decided to pick me up.
I stood from the couch, running a hand through my hair and then stepping around Matt to the closet, grabbing my coat. I could feel his presence close behind me as I slipped the coat on, grabbing my bag from the floor and digging around for my cell phone. Looking it over, I saw that I didn't have a missed call so I was safe for the time being. I looked up at Matt, who was standing at the door, ready to open it whenever I needed.
"Well, today was interesting," I said.
"It was. I'm glad we both slacked off today," he smiled.
"I am too," I said with a nod. "Well, next week then?"
"Definitely," he replied, opening the door for me.
"Bye Matt," I waved.
"Bye Azriel," he replied quietly as I walked through the threshold and down the steps.
I kept walking down the street, putting my headphones back on and listening to the atmospheric music by Angels and Airwaves. Tom DeLong's voice drifted in and out against the slow musical backdrop, making me slow my walk a bit as I trotted along. I probably looked silly to people passing by in their cars on their drive home from another day at the office but I remained oblivious, too wrapped up in the giddy feeling I had from spending an entire day with Matt where it seemed like we were friends of sorts.
'I think I like today. I think it's good. It's something I can't get my head around.'
Yes Tom, I think I'll have to agree with that statement. Today was a very good day indeed.
♠ ♠ ♠
[Title Credit: Blur]So thank you to everyone that's commented. I really appreciate it. =] I hope you all like the digital cookies I'm sending! *throws boxes of chocolate chip cookies at everyone* =]
So this update's crap. I really don't like it but I needed it cuz I need something between the last one and the next one, that's gonna be way better I promise! =] I hate fillers, you know. This is just a filler.
Well, enjoy... or don't. =/