Two Kids, One Love, Who Cares If We Make It Up?

Sitting at the picnic table, I took a big bite of the hamburger that my cousin brought me for lunch, "Sean, why are boys so fucking dumb?" I asked with my mouth full.

He eyed me then shrugged, "I dont know. Peyton, I'm a boy."

I rolled my eyes, "A lot of help you are," I muttered as I grabbed my soda and took a drink of it.

Sean continued to give me an odd look, "I'm taking it that even though John is thousands of miles away he managed to piss you off?"

"Yes!" I grabbed a couple of french fries and shoved them in my mouth, "He cant make it out for Valentines day."

"Right," He nodded a bit, "Good reason to be upset," He pointed to my food, "Do you usually eat when you're upset?"

"Yes," I admitted then sighed, "I eat when I get depressed and upset. I'm eating like a fucking cow right now, huh?"

"No, it's a normal value meal from McDonalds, but it's just the way you're eating it. You seemed very pissed."

"Moving here has completely fucked up my life. Right when I think I've gotten things under control my parents do this to me. I was finally loving my life, Sean."

"Cant you love life here?" He mumbled, "Listen, I know we dont know each other that well, but you're my cousin, and I love you. I'm worried about you. I remember when we were kids you were my only friend, I was picked on alot by the kids, but you were always there by my side. When you left I felt like my world was turned upside down and it was ruined. Life went on though, I got over it, now look at me, I know everyone."

I narrowed my eyes on him, "But are you happy knowing everyone?"

He licked his lips, "I'm happy that you're finally home. You've only been here a week and a half, and look at us, we're best friends again, right?"

I smiled at him then nodded. He's been by my side since the day my Father gave him the ok to come see me giving the first few days I was here I was homicidal and would've killed anyone who walked into my room without my permission, "Yeah, best friends. But Sean you have to understand, this isnt my home. No, I may have been born here but Arizona is my home. John is home."

"You really love him, dont you?"

"Yes, I do. If he were here, maybe things wouldnt be so weird for me. But it's hard for me to start over right now. I'm set in my ways, every school morning since freshman year I would go get Starbucks with John, then at lunch we'd sit at the same table with our same group of friends. Every friday is our 'going out' date night, where we go find a party or two, maybe go to dinner and a movie, then Saturday is our night that we stay in, maybe call a few friends over but we dont leave the house. Then Sundays is our day to be lazy and cuddle. He's my other half, he takes care of me."

Sean smiled, "Listen, I know you miss John and his news he gave you was lousy, but four months will come and go, then you'll be going home again." He nodded, "Trust me, if you just let loose you'll love it here just as much as you love it there,"

"Can I tell you something?" I muttered as I looked down at my burger.

"Yeah."

"I'm afraid I'm going to lose him." I admitted.

"That's why you're being this way. Not letting go."

I nodded, "John isnt ugly by any means. I'm not just saying that because he's my boyfriend or whatever, he truly isnt ugly. Girls really like him back home, and when they know I'm gone they're going to try and get their grubby little paws all over my man. I'm afraid one of them will win him over."

"You love him but you dont trust him?"

"I trust him, I dont trust other people. Plus when Johno gets drunk he is easily swayed."

"I think that if he loves you the way you say he does, alcohol isnt going to change anything."

I shrugged then started to finish my lunch.

"Peyton, please try and have fun here. You've got people willing to be your friends, you have all of your family here..." He paused, "Your Dad is worried about you."

I looked up at him, 'So this is why you're talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to you because I need to. Not just as your cousin but your friend. He thinks you're hurting yourself."

My eyes went wide, "What!?"

"And the way you've been acting, it had me thinking that maybe you ARE hurting yourself."

"I'm not." I said sternly and truthfully, "I'm not like that."

"Ok, I beleive you." He said softly, "But can you try and cheer up, for me?"

I eyed my cousin then nodded, "Yeah, I can try."

He smiled, "Thank you," He sighed as he looked around, "Do you wanna get out of here?" He muttered, "Find something to do? Today is my day off, I dont have school or work. So go see what kind of damage we can get into."

I smiled, "can I finish my food first. I may be trying to cheer up but right now I'm still in my 'I need to eat everything' phase."

He laughed, "Of course, take your time."

I smiled then sighed as I changed the subject, "Was I really your only friend? And how come I dont remember this place? I lived here until I was almost seven."

He shrugged, "You were my only friend and I dont know why you dont remember it here. Maybe because before you settled in Arizona, you guys did a bunch of moving. What, six different houses in a year and a half?"

"Nine," I corrected, "We go to the point where we put all of our things in a storage unit where ever we moved to and then we'd only have our clothes and beds, that was it. I remember a few times we didnt even have a dinner table. We ate sitting at the counter or in the living room, sitting on the floor while watching TV. It was hard time, then when we got to Arizona, my Dad promised no more moving, I believed him."

Sean frowned, "Ah, bitterness towards your Father."

"Yeah."

"I have that too." He admitted, "My Dad walked out my Mom and I."

"And yet you still love my Dad whose your Dad's brother?"

"Danny isnt the one who walked out on us. Danny doesnt like my dad either." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Danny has always sent my Mother a check every month to help out with bills, food, my clothes. When I turned sixteen, he sent my Mother the money to buy me my first car. He's been like my Dad."

I smiled, "I guess my Dad isnt so bad."

"You guess?" Sean taunted jokingly then rolled his eyes, "You are so hard headed."

"Be nice," I huffed, "I'm emotionally hurt because my boyfriend would rather spend Valentines day with his family instead of his girlfriend."

Sean shook his head, "Such a drama queen," He laughed then it slowly died down as he gave me a soft nod, "Things will get better, promise."

I smiled back then nodded as well, "I honestly dont know what I would do without you Sean. I've always wanted a big brother."

"Well, technically I'm not your brother, but hey ... I'm willing to have a little sister to protect."

I kicked his shin under the table then shook my head as I finished my Lunch. Everything is going to be better now, and I'll always see John on spring break.