When You Wake up and Scream

Naoise was late back from the library that night. She hurried through the dark corridors with a few book and got back to her room, and she was about to let herself in when she caught her name from inside. Frowning, she put her ear to the door.

"I don’t know, she's just being really weird lately." Mary's voice was saying. "She hangs about with that weirdo who was stalking her a couple of weeks ago, you know, when Frances came up to tell her. She didn’t like him then, and all of a sudden she goes out drinking with him and spends all night at his place."

"Perhaps she's sleeping with him?" one of the other girls, Colleen, giggled. Naoise frowned as she heard the rest of them laughing.

"Do you think she would do that, Mary?" the third girl, Clodagh, asked.

"I don’t know what’s up with her anymore. She's changed way too much for me to know where she's at. She used to be so easy to understand, you know? Now she's got into all of this criminal psychology stuff she's either out at all hours running around with all sorts of weirdoes or she's sitting in here thinking that she knows everything about everyone."

"Well, it's her choice if she wants to go out at all hours and get raped." Colleen said. Naoise pulled a face of disgust.

"I wonder where she is now?"

"Probably at that weird freak's place, he's got her wrapped around his little finger, you know? He's fed her all sorts of crap about this unloved childhood and she fell for it hook, line and sinker. Apparently he was beaten and starved and tortured and all sorts. She's probably over there drinking up more lies. She can be such an idiot sometimes, she never acknowledges that she could be wrong."

Naoise had had enough of hearing who she thought were her friends slagging her off. She walked in through the door, acting as though she hadn't heard. Her acting paid off, as the worried expression on all of the girls' faces disappeared promptly.

"Hi, Naoise," Mary said lightly.

"Hi, Mary, you two-faced bitch." Naoise replied brightly, going over to her bed and putting her books down on it. "Having a nice wee slabber, I see? Good for you!"

"Don't you know it's rude to eavesdrop?" Colleen asked. She and Naoise had never got along at the best of times.

"Don't you know it's rude to but into other people's conversations?" Naoise replied cheerily. "I believe I was talking to dear Mary, who I thought was my friend until a couple of minutes ago, where she seems to think that I'm off being raped and thinking that I know everything."

Mary wasn't making eye contact.

"So, Mary?" Naoise asked, as though she was discussing the weather. "If you've it anything to say, why don't you be a big girl about it and say it to my face, instead of acting like you're back in primary school?"

"Well, it's true." Mary mumbled. "You're being a gullible idiot."

"Have you ever spoken to someone who has been abused, Mary?" Naoise asked, her voice still light.

"No, but –"

"So how do you know if he's lying or not?"

"Because I saw him at Starbucks and he looks like a right creep."

"Well, it's a shame you didn’t get to know him, because he's a nice guy." Naoise replied. "But, as usual, you judge before you know. You'll miss out on a lot of good friends that way, Mary."

"He's probably only in it to get you in bed!"

Naoise narrowed her eyes.

"Unlike you, Mary," she hissed, her voice no longer playful but now dangerously low. "I'm not a complete slut who will fall for such things."

Mary stood up quickly.

"Who the Hell are you calling a slut?"

"I believe it was you."

"You've a fine nerve, Naoise McCullough! I'm not the one going around strange people's places when I've known them for, like, two weeks!"

"I know you're not, Mary, dear, two weeks is a bit of a wait for you, isn't it?" Naoise spat out.

Mary went to slap her by Naoise caught her hand and pushed her away.

"Don’t you dare!" she hissed. "You've no call, bitching about me behind my back! That's a fine way to treat a friend, isn't it?"

"Perhaps you should act more like a friend, then?"

"I have been acting like a friend! It's you who leaves your essays until the last minute so we can't go out! I'm not going to sit here and wait for you, Mary!"

"I would wait for you."

"Don’t be a liar, you never wait for me."

"Well, is it any surprise? I'm glad you heard what I was saying, at least this way I don’t have to pretend to be your friend anymore!"

"Pretend to be my friend?" Naoise repeated.

"Yes! I can’t stand you, Naoise McCullough! You've changed way too much! I've been closer to Clodagh and Colleen for ages and you've never noticed because you're too busy for me now!"

"Well, I guess if I just leave then you'll be fine without me, then?"

"Naoise –"

"No, it's all right, Mary," Naoise replied, her voice sweet again. "I'll be seeing you round. Have fun with your new chums, won't you? And have a nice little bitch while I'm gone."

"We will." Colleen said, smirking. Naoise smirked back.

"And, Colleen, now all of the hatred is out in the open, I'd just like to say to you that you should really bleach that moustache of yours. Whenever I try to talk to you, it's all I can see."

Naoise walked out of the door.

"Naoise!" Mary yelled after her, but Naoise took off at a run. She was too angry and hurt by what had been said to want to talk things though logically, and so she ran out of the ground and up the deserted O'Connell Street, remembering the night she had first seen Conán. He had looked weird that night, but now she knew him better she realised he must have been drunk.

She had no lectures the next day, and so she began thinking about perhaps heading home. Tears were stinging her eyes now she thought about what had been said.

At least this way I don't have to pretend to be your friend anymore!

That had hurt. That had wounded Naoise deeply. She tried to kid herself that Mary had been saying it in the heat of the moment, but she had sounded like she had truly meant it.

She didn’t realise that she was sobbing until she realised she could barely see where she was going. She stopped and furiously wiped her eyes of the tears. She sniffed, more tears running down her face, feeling embarrassed at the fact she was crying over such a stupid thing like an argument with her friend. Well, who she thought had been her friend.

She sighed, trying to tell herself that if Mary was just going to bitch behind her back, then she didn’t want her for a friend anyway. She began walking again, dragging her feet on the floor and glaring angrily at nothing in particular.

"Oi! Lass! You're out late!"

Naoise turned around and glared at the speaker, an old hobo sitting on the pavement.

"And what's it to you?" she asked, turning around again.

"You should be getting home. Look at you! You look about twelve!"

"Don't be stupid, I'm eighteen."

"What's wrong with you? You split up with your boyfriend, eh?" The hobo stood up shakily. "Give us a kiss, then."

Naoise laughed.

"Don’t flatter yourself."

"Ah, that's no way to treat another person, is it? Go on, gorgeous, you know you want to."

Naoise pulled a face.

"I'd rather go and die in a hole." she told him.

"You might just be able to if you carry on being so cheeky."

"You would do well to not be so threatening."

"And why? They're no one around. I could choke you right now and no one would hear you scream."

"That's because I wouldn't scream. It would be you screaming when I kicked you right where it hurts." Naoise spat viciously, hoping that she sounded tougher than she felt. She knew that he could easily overpower her, but she hoped she could act her way out of it. She couldn't. He leapt at her and she did scream, but as she did someone else came from the side and knocked him flying back to the floor.