Falling with Every Step

“Okay, we need to talk,” Pete said when he walked into Mary Jane’s room.

“Okay,” Mary Jane said slowly.

“Don’t worry, it’s not bad,” Pete said noticing she was worried.

“What’s up?”

“Do you want to continue with the tour? I mean, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I totally understand with everything that has happened.”

“Do you want me to quit?” Mary Jane asked him.

“Well, no, but I don’t know if you’re comfortable going back on tour.”

“Pete!” Mary Jane cried. “I’m not comfortable anywhere. I would much rather go back on tour than go back to my apartment. At least here I know I have people looking out for me. I don’t know what I’d do if I went back home.”

“It’s decided then,” Pete said smiling. “You’re going on tour!”

“Thank you,” Mary Jane told him.

“For what?”

“For everything,” Mary Jane said smiling.

The next night was the last stop in the United States before they headed off to Europe. It was the first of two nights in Chicago. Mary Jane was listening to everyone else’s sound checks since she was finished with her own. She looked to her left and swore she saw Chris standing there. When she did a double look, she saw no one there.

After Cobra Starship’s sound check was over, Vicky came over to her. “Are you okay?” she asked sitting down next to Mary Jane.

“Yeah, why?”

“You keep looking around the room, and you look worried.”

“You’re going to think I’m crazy,” Mary Jane said looking at her.

“No, I won’t. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I keep seeing Chris,” Mary Jane admitted.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I keep seeing him everywhere I look. Like I’ll see him walk past a door or something.”

“MJ, you know that he can’t be anywhere near here. Pete made sure that all of the security guards knew that he was not allowed here.”

“You think I’m crazy!” Mary Jane cried.

“No, I think something horrible happened, and now your brain’s trying to compensate for it,” Vicky said. “Have you thought about seeing someone?”

“What do you mean? A shrink?”

“Yeah,” Vicky told her. “It might help. When something like this happens, it sometimes helps to talk to a professional. Maybe they can explain why you keep seeing him.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay,” Vicky said smiling.

Four hours later, Mary Jane rushed off stage after finishing her last song. She ran into her dressing room and shut her door. She sat down on the couch and pulled her knees to her chest. She could have sworn that she had seen Chris in the audience smiling at her. She heard a knock at the door and was scared it was him. After another knock, the door opened revealing Gabe standing there.

“Oh my god! It’s you!” she cried running over to him and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked as he looked down and saw the state she was in.

“I thought it was Chris,” she told him as she unlocked her arms and sat back down on the couch.

“What?” Gabe asked as he sat down next to her.

“I keep seeing him everywhere, and I thought I saw him in the audience tonight. I swear it was him! And then I thought he was at the door, and,” Mary Jane said as she burst into tears.

“It’s okay,” Gabe said as he put his arms around her, trying to comfort her. “He wasn’t here. I promise you that.”

“Maybe Vicky’s right.”

“Vicky’s right about what?”

“She said maybe I should go talk to a psychiatrist or something.”

“I think it might help,” Gabe admitted.

“Okay,” Mary Jane said quietly as she lied in Gabe’s arm. They sat like that, neither of them moving, until one of the stage managers came in about an hour later.

“Gabe, you’re on in ten minutes,” he told them, shutting the door behind him.

Gabe looked down at Mary Jane. “Go!” Mary Jane told him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes! I’ll watch you from the side of the stage. Now, let’s go,” she told him as they both got up and made their way to the side of the stage.