Falling with Every Step

Everyone was now in London for their first concert in Europe. It had been over a week since Mary Jane had thought she had seen Chris at the first concert in Chicago. Since then, everyone would make sure she wasn’t by herself, as that was the time she saw him the most. She would still see him while she was performing on stage, but as soon as she got offstage, Gabe would be waiting for her in her dressing room to comfort her.

Mary Jane continued to have nightmares about the rape every single night. However, they had decreased in number since she had started to see a psychiatrist. After the first couple of nights, they had decided to change the roommate situations around. Vicky had no longer been able to sleep since Mary Jane would scream out every night, so Mary Jane had offered to move out. She was now staying with Gabe, who seemed to be the only one to comfort her after a nightmare.

Mary Jane had continued to think about her relationship with Gabe. He continued to be there for her through everything, and he stuck to his word to wait on her. Every day, Mary Jane would consider giving their relationship another try, but she would always talk herself out of it, saying that it wouldn’t be fair to Gabe.

“You ready for tonight?” Gabe asked Mary Jane as he pulled on his infamous purple hoodie.

“My first concert in Europe?” Mary Jane asked. “Of course! I’m so excited! What about you? Is it still exciting even though you’ve played here before?”

“Yeah, it is,” Gabe told her. “You’ll like it. You ready to go?”

“Yep,” Mary Jane said as she grabbed her sweatshirt off of the chair and they made their way out of the hotel room and down to the elevator.

They met everyone in the lobby, and they all made their way to the venue to start the sound checks. “So,” Vicky said to Mary Jane as they sat in the front row watching Panic at the Disco’s sound check. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” Mary Jane answered.

“I meant,” Vicky began.

“I know what you meant,” Mary Jane told her. “I’m not back to normal, but I don’t think I’ll ever be. I guess you can say I’m trying to get there. I’m not having as many nightmares as before, but I don’t think you want to move back in yet.”

Vicky smiled at her. “How are you and Gabe?”

“Funny you should mention that,” Mary Jane said. “I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately.”

“Are you thinking of getting back together with him?”

“I’ve thought about it, but then I go back to my original thought. I don’t think it’d be fair to him.”

“You know he cares about you, right?” Vicky asked. “He doesn’t want to be with anyone but you. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that.”

“Maybe you should listen to us, then,” Vicky told her.

“Okay, off of my love life, and let’s talk about yours,” Mary Jane said turning the tables on her friend.

“What about mine?”

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been staying with Brendon since I started staying with Gabe,” Mary Jane said smiling at her.

“So,” Vicky replied.

“So? So what’s going on with the two of you?”

“I don’t know,” Vicky answered honestly.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“Well, we hang out all the time, and we kiss and stuff, but we haven’t, you know,” Vicky said, hoping MJ would get the point.

“You haven’t slept together?” Mary Jane asked.

Vicky shook her head no. “I don’t know if it’s something with me or what.”

“Well, you’ve only been together for a couple of weeks. It’s not like it’s been that long,” Mary Jane tried to reason.

“Come on! He’s a musician. Most of the time, they’re sleeping with random girls every night. We’ve been going out for weeks, and we haven’t even come close.”

“Gabe and I never slept together,” Mary Jane reminded her.

“That’s different,” Vicky argued.

“How? Gabe’s a musician.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t want to sleep with him. He wasn’t going to force you,” she stated before she thought about the words she was saying.

“Like Chris,” Mary Jane said.

“I’m so sorry!” Vicky said instantly. “I wasn’t thinking, and…”

“Stop, Vicky, it’s fine,” Mary Jane said quickly.

“No, MJ, I’m sorry,” Vicky repeated.

“It’s okay,” Mary Jane said. “I’m going to go backstage. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Vicky said quietly as she watched MJ head backstage. A moment later, Gabe sat down next to her.

“Where’s MJ going?” he asked her.

“Backstage. I said something stupid, and I think I upset her. She said it was fine, but I don’t think she’s doing okay,” Vicky told him.

“I’ll go check on her, okay?” Gabe asked getting up to leave.

“Thanks,” Vicky smiled.

Gabe made his way backstage to MJ’s dressing room. He knocked on the door and heard her say to come in. “Hey,” he said quietly as he walked in and sat down next to her on the couch.

“Did Vicky send you?” she asked him.

“No. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he admitted as he put his arm around her.

“I’m fine,” she said looking at him. “Why are you doing this?”

“What?” Gabe asked clearly confused.

“Why are you so nice and kind to me? I’ve told you I don’t know if I’m ever going to be ready, and yet you continue to wait on me. Why?”

“MJ, I love you,” Gabe told her.

Mary Jane just stared into his eyes for a few moments, trying to decide if he was telling the truth or not. “You love me?” she slowly asked him.

“Yes, MJ, I love you. Listen, I don’t expect you to say it back. After everything that has happened,” Gabe began before he was cut off by Mary Jane’s lips on his.

“I love you, too, Gabe,” Mary Jane told him. “I need you, Gabe. I’ve tried to get by without you, but I just can’t. Will you be my boyfriend again?”

“Sí, señorita,” Gabe said smiling before he kissed her.