We're All Mad Here.
Enough was Enough.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered; her breath was hot on his already overheated face.
Enough was enough.
He shook his head. “You have no idea what it’s like,” the tears spilled over and poured down his face. “To love someone, who doesn’t love you back, and maybe never will.”
Her throat welled up and ached. She was choking on her words and her thoughts spun out of control.
“I can, I will, just—just please, give me some time. Don’t leave me, Aaron. Please, I can love you, I promise I won’t hurt you anymore.” Her lip protruded a bit and her hand flew to her throat, making him wish he had never said anything.
He wasn’t sure anymore, he wasn’t sure if she was still using him because she needed to feel loved, or if she truly did want him, if she really could love him. But he did know that at that moment he wanted nothing more than to be right where he was, with her in his arms. So once again, he stayed, still engrossed in her deep green eyes and pleading words.
Eventually she drifted back to sleep and he continued to hold her through it. When she awoke the next morning Aaron was busying himself around the room, rearranging her ‘Get Well Soon’ cards and vases full of pungent flowers.
“What are you doing?” she asked as politely as possible.
He shrugged. “Do you know if this thing works?” he reached his arm up and tapped the small TV hanging in the corner.
She scoffed, “barely. Why?”
“I was just wondering, maybe I could bring you some movies?” his eyes wandered from her face, ashamed. “Or some clothes?”
“Oh.” A pained expression crossed her face.
Then, the realization hit.
She drew a quick, sharp breath. “Oh!”
He was talking about her bruises; he was utterly repulsed by the black and blue sea that had drowned her pale peach skin. He thought she was ugly.
“It’s just that, y’know those hospital pajamas don’t look too comfortable and you must be dying for some normal clothes,” he forced a small laugh. “Right?”
She nodded meekly.
“Great!” A genuine smile spread across his face as he kissed her forehead and rushed out of the room.
He hadn’t only thought she was ugly, he also had desperately wanted to get out of the room. He couldn’t stand her.
What had she done? She was doing her best to love him, to appreciate him but it was so hard in this situation, it was so difficult to even keep her thoughts on her main goal; getting out of here.
She couldn’t love him, not right now. She couldn’t be what he wanted, probably not ever but she wasn’t going to let him go either. She couldn’t let someone as wonderful as him walk out of her life, no, she’d keep him here as long as she could; no matter what it took. She’d continue to lie, and pretend, maybe she could even fake love. Could you fake love?
She was sure as hell going to try, anything to make him stay.
Enough was enough.
He shook his head. “You have no idea what it’s like,” the tears spilled over and poured down his face. “To love someone, who doesn’t love you back, and maybe never will.”
Her throat welled up and ached. She was choking on her words and her thoughts spun out of control.
“I can, I will, just—just please, give me some time. Don’t leave me, Aaron. Please, I can love you, I promise I won’t hurt you anymore.” Her lip protruded a bit and her hand flew to her throat, making him wish he had never said anything.
He wasn’t sure anymore, he wasn’t sure if she was still using him because she needed to feel loved, or if she truly did want him, if she really could love him. But he did know that at that moment he wanted nothing more than to be right where he was, with her in his arms. So once again, he stayed, still engrossed in her deep green eyes and pleading words.
Eventually she drifted back to sleep and he continued to hold her through it. When she awoke the next morning Aaron was busying himself around the room, rearranging her ‘Get Well Soon’ cards and vases full of pungent flowers.
“What are you doing?” she asked as politely as possible.
He shrugged. “Do you know if this thing works?” he reached his arm up and tapped the small TV hanging in the corner.
She scoffed, “barely. Why?”
“I was just wondering, maybe I could bring you some movies?” his eyes wandered from her face, ashamed. “Or some clothes?”
“Oh.” A pained expression crossed her face.
Then, the realization hit.
She drew a quick, sharp breath. “Oh!”
He was talking about her bruises; he was utterly repulsed by the black and blue sea that had drowned her pale peach skin. He thought she was ugly.
“It’s just that, y’know those hospital pajamas don’t look too comfortable and you must be dying for some normal clothes,” he forced a small laugh. “Right?”
She nodded meekly.
“Great!” A genuine smile spread across his face as he kissed her forehead and rushed out of the room.
He hadn’t only thought she was ugly, he also had desperately wanted to get out of the room. He couldn’t stand her.
What had she done? She was doing her best to love him, to appreciate him but it was so hard in this situation, it was so difficult to even keep her thoughts on her main goal; getting out of here.
She couldn’t love him, not right now. She couldn’t be what he wanted, probably not ever but she wasn’t going to let him go either. She couldn’t let someone as wonderful as him walk out of her life, no, she’d keep him here as long as she could; no matter what it took. She’d continue to lie, and pretend, maybe she could even fake love. Could you fake love?
She was sure as hell going to try, anything to make him stay.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thanks to Dana again. =-]