Assassin

Gerard cursed under his breath, pulling a cigarette from his pocket. He struggled with the lighter for a moment before it was able to sustain a flame. Usually, having tobacco in his system would have calmed him down. Today, however, was a completely different matter.

The cool air did help to clear his head somewhat. He closed his eyes and leaned against the brick wall beside him, taking another drag. He needed to stay calm if he was going to get anything done. Forget who she is. Just finish it, he told himself uselessly. Forget her. Right.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, alerting him to a call. He already knew who was on the other end of the call, and he knew what they wanted. Reluctantly, he flipped it open, breathing in smoke as he did so. “Look, I’ll get it-”

“I am aware that your target has not yet been eliminated,” a cool voice cut in smoothly. Gerard cringed. “Why is that, Way?”

“I think she’s caught on,” he lied. He knew she knew. “I haven’t had the opportunity to bring her down. She’s almost as good at this as I am.”

“I am not a patient man, Gerard. I want this threat destroyed by the end of the week. If you are not successful, I will send someone else to take care of the both of you. She lives with you. Take her out while she’s sleeping. Figure something out, or I will.”

Gerard began to reply, but the line was dead. He cursed again and pocketed the phone, dropping his cigarette and grinding it into the ground with his foot. He sighed heavily, trying to concentrate. “Right,” he said out loud, trying to make himself focus. He had a job to do.

He looked up at the stars for a moment, always mesmerized by how they lit up the sky. It was almost as if thousands of little fireflies had gotten themselves stuck up there, constantly glowing and sparkling, ages above his head. Looking at them, he realized that Lyn always had that same kind of sparkle in her eyes when she laughed- always bright and full of life…

He shook his head. Forget about it.

The buildings creating the alley had also kept the wind out of it, so he didn’t realize how cold it was until he stepped out and onto the sidewalk. He zipped up his jacket and grabbed his sunglasses from his pocket, shielding his eyes from the moving air.

His house was not for away, as he had only gone outside to purchase the cigarettes he had already opened. He walked through the door and didn’t bother to hang up his coat before going upstairs. If Lyn would have seen the trail of dirt his boots left on the carpet…

The bedroom door was locked. He tried it again, then paused. He could hear his wife crying on the other side of the wood. He paused for a moment, then hung his head. There was nothing worse, to him, then hearing that and knowing that it was because of him that she was upset. He raised a hand to knock, but let it drop after a moment of deliberation. If Lyn wanted to talk to him, she wouldn’t have locked the door.

Besides, what good was conversation, now? This would only end in a fight, and only one person would walk away. He’d already detached himself from the assignment, now he just had to get it done. He could forget who was in that room. He could pretend it wasn’t the woman he loved. He just needed to take her out and move on to the next assignment, just like he always had…

He was not aware that he had walked away from the door, but he suddenly found himself in front of the shed. He sighed and pushed open the door, walking inside. Lindsey never went in here because the light was broken. Gerard knew his way around, however, and found what he was looking for quickly.

He hadn’t used this gun for months. He turned it over and checked it out, making sure it was loaded. He imagined pointing this at her, pulling the thin piece of metal that would end her life…

She wasn’t on his side, he tried to make himself remember. She worked against the government, not for it. He remembered the shock he felt when he’d first gotten the assignment, when he first realized that Lyn was trying to kill him, too. He shook his head.

He felt around in the darkness, sliding his hand over the counter on the wall where he’d found his older gun. He pulled his hand back sharply when he felt it hit something sharp, but reached out again to grab the knife that he’d come across. He ran his thumb over the handle, feeling the indents where the design was carved in.

Suddenly, a gunshot rang through the air, coming from the house.

He dropped the knife, and for a second, all he could hear was the ringing in his ears. Then, his feet were moving for him as he ran to the house, unthinking. What did it matter if that shot was aimed at Lyn? He had planned to kill her anyways.

He wasn’t being rational, though. All he could think was that Lyn could be hurt. Or worse. He didn’t want to think that she would be gone from him. He just wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay again…

The door was still locked. He twisted the knob frantically while pushing it, calling her name. “Lyn?! Lindsey, open the door, please. Lyn!” When he didn’t hear anything in response, he panicked. He backed up slightly and kicked the door in. Seconds later, he wished he hadn’t.

Good God, Lyn, you didn’t.

He covered him mouth and turned back into the hallway, pushing himself against the wall beside the door. He slid down, slowly, until he was sitting down with his head in his knees. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. It had implanted itself in his brain in crystal-sharp definition, allowing him to remember every detail of what he saw.

She was laying across from the doorway, completely still. In one hand was a folded piece of paper and in the other, her most-used and favorite gun. The front of her shirt was drenched in red. Though those things both helped to bring Gerard to tears, it was her eyes that really got to him.

The sparkle that he’d compared to the stars earlier that day was gone, leaving them empty and vacant. He’d never seen her look so…lifeless, there really was no other word for it. She’d always been so full of energy and emotion, always.

He thought he’d been prepared to lose her. He was going to take her out herself, for crying out loud. He thought he’d completely detached himself from this case. Why, then, was it so hard to let her go?

When his breathing pattern had finally returned to normal, he stood up and wiped under his eyes. He drew in a shaky breath and tried to put himself in a different state of mind. “Pretend it’s not her,” he told himself again, walking in the room.

He examined the scene like he would have any other case, though he had to pretend the blood on her shirt was only paint. He avoided looking directly at her eyes again and instead picked up the paper in her hand. He unfolded it and read her familiar writing.

If I lived through this, they would have killed you.
If I didn’t kill you, they would have killed me.
It was the only way.

He closed his eyes and inhaled a few times, reaching for his phone again. He opened the box for a text message and started pressing the buttons.

‘Target eliminated. And, Brian? I quit.’

He knelt beside his wife and gently picked up the gun from her hand.

It was loaded.