The Webs We Weave

I went back to the apartment alone. Clover wanted to stay behind and talk to Max, so I wasn't going to stop her. I loved and trusted her. So I needed to prove it. Right? I paced around the living room, looking up at the clock every second. I felt like she was gone for too long and I was worried. What if she just suddenly decided she didn't want me? She wanted Max? I wouldn't know what to do if that happened. I couldn't hate Max or Clover, but I would never be able to face them again. I gave up and fell back onto the couch. I wasn't doing myself any good by worrying. I pulled my phone out and found Clover's number. I wanted to call, but I just couldn't. It started to vibrate in my hand and Caitlyn's picture pop up onto the screen.

"What?" I grumbled into the phone.

"I'm sorry Ronnie." Caitlyn sighed. "I'm sorry for everything that happened tonight. I was just scared that I was losing you, and I can't stand that. I know Clover is with Matt Good and she isn't going to take you. Can you apologize to her for me?"

"Listen. I'll call you back later and tell you what's going on."

I hung up and grabbed my jacket. I wasn't going to wait around here and see if she came back. Someone needed to straighten things out and it was going to be me. Clover was mine, and losing her wasn't an option. Max had been my best friend for years now, but now I was willing to give all that up. I couldn't let another man take her from me again. I had let her get away from me too many times and it was time for me to take action of my life. I was tired of people running over my life like I was nothing. I wanted a say so in what happened with my future.

I pulled into the drive way and gripped the steering wheel. What are you doing here? You're going to ruin things. I put the car in reverse and pulled out of the Max's house. I couldn't go in there and face what was happening. Today was full of What ifs and I was sick of it. I drove around for awhile, not having any place to go. When I felt I had drove around enough, I went back to the apartment. The lights were her living room and I knew she was home. Looking myself over in the mirror I knew I was prepared for whatever may happen. I could get through anything.

Awkward. That was the word to describe earlier. I had walked right into Clover's house and there was Matt. He looked me over a few times. He couldn't believe that Clover's first love just came prancing through her door. I could see the anger in his face. The way his blue eyes dulled, and I just stood there, frozen. Do you have any milk that Caitlyn and I could borrow? That was my lame excuse of why I was there. I knew it wasn't very convincing and I felt horrible for leaving her there.

"I'm glad you're home." Caitlyn said wrapping her arms around my waist. "I was so scared I had already lost you."

"Get off me." I said as nicely as I could. "I need time. I'm not here because everything is perfect again. I'm here because Clover's fiancee came back and looked pretty pissed about me being there."

"Why?" She asked a tear streaming down her face. "Am I not good enough for you? I've tried everything Ronnie. But it seems that everything I do is not good enough."

Leaving the room was the only thing I could do. I couldn't stand to see someone I cared for crying. Caitlyn was a good person and hurting her was not something I wanted. Right now I was hurting everybody. The drugs were calling my name and it was taking all my will power not to find a dealer. I bit down on my bottom lip and closed my eyes. Everything was so hard, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Clover." I said when she answered. "Please tell me everything is okay? I'm sorry I didn't know Matt would show up. Please tell me he didn't suspect anything."

"He didn't." She sighed. "I slept with him. I'm sorry. It seemed like the only way to prove myself to him. Are you mad?"

"No." I laughed. "I understand. So are we going with my plan?"

"Yes. Make Caitlyn think you're back for good now, and we'll get together whenever we can. Matt's tour is on a break for three weeks. So make things right, and in two months I will have my answer."

"I love you." I said. And it was true. I loved her more than anything. So if lying was what I had to do, then I would do it proudly.