The Webs We Weave

"Clover, I want you to leave. Please." I looked at him, hurt flooding through my eyes. Max had to do this again? He messed it all up again. "Oh, okay. I am sorry I came over, I just wanted to uh, make sure everything was okay. Rider is at my place and uh...yeah. Oh hi Caitlyn, I am sorry I cannot stay to talk. Ronnie, Max I need you at my apartment in the morning for a photo shoot. I will have you follow me to location." Max nodded but Ronnie just stood there. He seemed to realize he made a mistake, but was not sure if he really wanted to fix it. "I guess I will leave then." I waved awkwardly and walked away. "Clover, wait! Please wait!" I did not turn around; I couldn't be sucked up into this cruel charade anymore. I got in my car and threw it in reverse leaving Max and Ronnie both sitting in the driveway calling after me.

I pulled into my apartment complex and smiled when I saw Matt's car in the space where I normally parked. I was tired of games I decided, and I was going to marry Matt. Ronnie had his chance to be my prince charming and he failed; now Matt and I could ride off into the sunset. I strode up to my apartment and juggled my keys in my pocket for a minute before pushing open my door and walking in. "Hey Matt." I said seeing his bag on my floor. I walked over to my couch and looked down. I stepped back and closed my eyes. Hurt was filing every orphice in my body. "Really Rider, we are back to that? I thought we were past that." Matt and Rider sat up quickly and wiped their mouths. If it were any other people than us three I would have laughed, but the thing was, I was in no mood to laugh. I turned and left the apartment and walked back to my car and sat in it. I gripped the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were turning white and felt as though my joints were going to poke through my skin.

I threw the car into drive and pushed onto the accelerator and headed to the park where I had vroke down all those years ago, I had nobody right now, and I was not feeling so well. I grabbed my phone and dialed Monte's number. "Hello?" "Can you get Jen and Beth and meet me at the park by your old house please? I just caught Matt and Rider, and Ronnie doesnt want anything to do with me anymore." "Yeah, I will do that. I will be there in just a moment." "Okay, I am pulling up now, I will be at the swings."

I walked to the swings and sat down on it. The rusty chain looked as though it would snap at any moment, and it squeaked every time I would fidget in my seat. "Hey. Nicky is on her way, and Jen is here with Beth and I, and Shauna is on the next plane here." "Gosh, did you bring the Spanish armada as well?" "Do you want them?" I laughed and Monte sat next to me, and was eventually joined by the others. "Well, I guess this is it, the point where my life falls apart." They all looked at me with sympathy and I closed my eyes. I opened them when I heard the squealing sound of brakes being slammed and tires being drug. My eyes snapped up and I grimaced. "What the hell guys, who told him we were here?" I demanded as Ronnie stepped out of his car and walked over towards us. "I did." Nicky said timidly, "I was staying at Riders and Max's when you talked to him and I made it clear to Ronnie that Max misunderstood you." They all stood up and Ronnie approached me with hesitation. "Are you here to tell me to leave again?" He smiled and sat next to me. "When did we get like this Ronnie?" He shook his head and I looked at the ground. "I am not sure. We just did I guess, I hate it so much. I hate you more than I have hated anyone in my entire life, but I love you, and if you were to disappear, my life would be over." I smiled and looked into his eyes. "You sir, have a way of words." I could hear the others leaving in their cars and I laid down in the dirt with Ronnie. "Clover, I cant leave her just yet. I hope you know that." "I do, I am not happy about it but it's whatever.” The truth was that I did know it, and it broke every bone in my body, and it stopped my heart, and all of my thoughts ran rabid. To any other person it would seem like a over dramatic reaction, but they didn’t understand. When he told me that, I knew that this was it, he was never going to leave her, so my response was totally rationalized.

“Do me a favor please?” He looked at me and nodded, “Anything.” “Sing me something. Anything, but make it special.” He smiled and began to sing to me. “It's ripping me and tempting me to give you this gun. But all the time that you have lied I've known what you done.” His voice was smooth and I could not understand how he managed to stay so calm. "You know, I used to play the piano all the time. When my parents where together, when we were together. I was always so happy, and I wanted to play all the time. After you would leave, I would play for hours, even after Max would yell at me to stop, and then when you left me, and I got with Matt, I couldn't play. I just couldn't do anything really, couldn't function. I would look at my piano, and I would want to play it so bad, but I couldn't." "And why is that?" "Because it reminded me so much of you, and the happiness we had." He nodded and we sat there for a moment akward before finally I groaned lightly and said, “Matt and Rider hooked up on my couch.” He laughed lightly and I smacked at him. “What is so damn funny?” “Nothing, its just kind of funny is all. What do you say we go back to Max’s and Riders? They aren’t there and I want to get away from all of this madness.” I nodded and we stood up and made our way to our cars.

I sat in front of the fireplace, watching as the flames licked at the logs, diminishing any hope of living that they had. Ronnie sat next to me his eyes resting on the fire as well. We had been sitting like this for a long time before I looked at him. “It is okay you know.” “What?” He made no attempt to look at me, but his voice told me that he understood. “For you to move on. I can understand if you want to. She seems like a nice girl, a lot like me, but she wont hurt you.” He looked at me and I took a breath. “Are you leaving me?” I smiled and grabbed his hand. “Never. I would never leave you, all I am saying is it is okay if you leave me. I love you, but I am not stupid, I know the storm is coming.” He nodded recognizing the truth in my statement. “I wont leave you. No matter what.” I smiled before suddenly doubling over in intense pain. “Oh my god Ronnie, call an ambulance.” He looked startled and I doubled over again, this time vomiting up blood. The world began to swirl and I blacked out.

“Mrs. Radke?” I looked around, who in the hell were they talking to? The doctor shined a light in my eyes and Ronnie grabbed my hand. I groaned, I had been in this situation to many times. “So, the lab results are back, you are okay to leave, but I am sorry Mr. and Mrs. Radke, the baby was lost. Such a shame, so early into the pregnancy, couldn’t have even been two weeks. Such a violent response, it is a surprise you made it that far. Good thing your husband was there or you could have died of blood loss.” I looked at Ronnie and his face was pale. “I…I was pregnant?”