The Webs We Weave

"Damn it." I yelled and kicked the wall. The doctor had just told Clover she lost our baby. A baby that was a piece of me and a piece of Clover. Something that would have brought us closer together, a reason to get away from Caitlyn. The world around me was spinning and I didn't know how I would react. I never wanted kids. I always thought I would turn out to be a horrible father and fuck the kid up, but that was different now. Knowing that you had a child and it died hurt. It hurt more than anything I had every experienced. The waiting room was silent and I took a seat, trying to calm down. My hands were shaking and my stomach felt like it was in knots. I just wanted to get out of this place. Nothing good ever happened in the hospitals.

"Ronnie?" Her voiced cracked and I wouldn't look at her, I couldn't. "Why does everything happen to us?" Her sobs were harder. "Why did I have to lose our baby? It just doesn't seem fair."

"Maybe its fucking sign." I yelled, my anger far beyond control. "Maybe we aren't supposed to be together Clover."

She shook her head and the tears fell down her slightly rosy cheeks. I didn't mean a word I said to her, and I think she understood that. It just seemed like the right thing to say because it was the truth. Everything happened to Clover and I. Just when we would get everything under control something went wrong. I pulled her close to me and tried my best to comfort her. I couldn't imagine how she felt right now. She was the one that was carrying the baby, it must have been ten times worse for her. I bit down on my bottom lip and blinked hard. I wouldn't cry here in front of Clover.

"Can we just go home?" She mumbled into my chest. "Or anywhere. Just take me anywhere but here."

"I think we need to go to your place." I nodded. "We have a lot to talk about, and its time to say goodbye to Matt."

"Just leave Matt." Clover screamed for the tenth time. We arrived at Clover's apartment to find Matt still lying out on the couch. I sat in her bedroom listening to the whole thing. She made me promise I wouldn't intervene during the argument, and I was done breaking promises. I was going to start being a better person. "You don't understand Matt. I don't love you and I'm sorry I made you think I did. Ronnie and I are going to be together now. So please just leave."

The whole house went silent and you could have heard a pin drop. You could hear the whispers coming from the other room and I covered my ears. I didn't need to hear them talking about me. I've hear it all before. The door slammed and I knew the storm was over. Now Clover and I could start working on our life. I would find Caitlyn a place to stay and then move Clover in with me. We would pick up where we left off two years ago. We could even possibly start a family. Babies had been on my mind since I left the hospital. All I could think about was Clover having our baby and then us being a happy family.

"He's gone." She whispered. "He's really gone. It hurt." I bit down on my lip and nodded. I knew what she was talking about. Just thinking about leaving Caitlyn made me feel awful. "I love you, but knowing that he will no longer be a part of my life hurts."

"I know." I said into her hair. "I'll do it tomorrow. All I need to do is find a place for Caitlyn to stay, and then your moving in with me." I stuck my hand into my pocket and felt the small piece of jewelry. I remember the night Clover gave it back to me. She actually admitted to still loving me. That's when I knew I would always keep the ring until the right moment, and that moment was know. "Clover can I ask you something serious?"

"Sure." She sat up. "What is it?"

"Will you marry me?" I slid the ring onto her finger and watched her face light up. "I know this didn't work out before, but I will give it everything I have this time. I swear to you that we will make this work."