The Webs We Weave

I smiled with some sort of pleasure, I wanted to say yes, there was no doubt about that. I really wanted to but there was a part of me that was unsure of that. What would happen when we got mad at each other and I decided it was not going to work, then what? I would be a single and homeless mom. "I don't know Ronnie I mean there are alot of things that can go wrong." He nodded but smiled. "That is half of the fun don't you see? You want adventure and that is the way to do it, we mess up and we have an adventure trying to fix it." I could not help but smile at his terrible logic. "Well, I suppose Katie could use her mom here."

I finally unpacked my final box and laid down on the bed, it had taken almost two months for me to move back in, I was changing my mind almost daily. I sighed and Ronnie wrapped his arm around my stomach. I had been in pain alkmost all day but being eight months in the preggo department I didn't think all that much of it. Katie ran in with her dollie and grabbed my hand. "Well arent we just the snapshot of perfection." I laughed. "No we are too fucked up to be perfect, I would shoot more for a snapshot of reality." I smiled and clutched at my stomach as a terrible ripple of pain ripped through again. "Ow." I mumbled and Ronnie looked over at me with concern and I tried desperately to get the look of anguish I knew was playing on my face. "Are you okay, what is it?" "I think it may just be indegestion but I don't know, I havent exactly gotten this far in a pregnancy before." I muttered as I felt myself breaking out in a cold sweat and the pain grew. "I think I should probably go to the doctor." I said finally as I felt my body swaying. "Okay, Katie can you go to your room and call Nicky and Jen and let them know mommy is in labor." Katie nodded and ran into her room and I let out a scream of anguish and pain, I felt like my insides were being pulled out of my mouth and being lit on fire.

"Congratulations it is a healthy baby girl." The doctor said and I laid my head back on the hospital bed. Never had I experienced that kind of pain and if Ronnie was thinking about another one I was going to kill him. "Oh wow." Ronnie said before kissing me on the forehead. I sighed and closed my eyes and somewhere in the distance I could swear I heard a flatline and screams of hemoraghing, but I felt at peace because I knew my daughter and Ronnie were going to be okay, even if it was not going to be that way for me. I walked up to the bridge that I saw, it was beautiful even though it was wooden and ruined with time, it had a story and that is what made it so great. The brook below it was beautiful beyond comparison but the most wonderful thing happened to me while I was standing there, I had fought all of my life to figure it all out and I finally knew what I was supposed to do.

"Clear!" I felt my body thrust upward and I opened my eyes in pain and took in a gasp. "Get her to an O.R stat, she is losing blood." I heard another yell. I smiled knowing I was going to be okay, I knew it. Ronnie and I had almost lost each other over and over, but when I was on that bridge I realized that we would never lose one another because we were one another. We were two souls that co-mingled together and we were one entity, for now at least. However slowly I could feel the possibility of the fact that this really could be it for me. I clutched onto a doctor and looked at him and with quivering lips I managed to mutter "Tell them I love them." and then it went black.

"Well Mr. Radke, we believe she will make a full recovery and the anasthesia will wear off soon and she will be lucid enough to name your daughter. She should be waking up soon though. She should be dead Mr. Radke you are really lucky you have a fighter on your hands, never in my thirty years here at the hospital have I seen a patient come back to life after almost twenty minutes of death." "I only love fighters." Ronnie said laughing weakly. I could tell immediately that he had been crying for quite some time. I am not really sure why and I am sure that length of my death was debatable, it hadn't even seemed like death. Death was supposed to be dreary and terrible and that was not. "Emery, I want her name to be Emery Jennifer Nichole Radke." Ronnie looked over at me and I smiled, he was so tired looking. He ran over and grabbed at my hand and I was not sure what was going through his head at that moment but I wanted to. "Ronnie you want to know something?" "It was not that bad, death I mean, but I will never leave you alone. I am not sure what life or death would be like without you but I do not want to figure it out." He nodded and kissed me quickly. "Mr. Radke, do you approve of the name?" The doctor asked his nose turned up in disgust, he was not a fan of people like us obviously. "Emery Jennifer Nichole Radke sounds perfect to me but dont be suprised when she is in th third grade pissed off because she is the only one without a pencil with her name on it." I laughed weakly and pressed the button for the pain medicine. "She will get over it, her daddy is the Ronnie Radke, the man a million girls want." I slurred before falling into a dremaless sleep.