The Webs We Weave

I leaned against the building to catch my breath. I had just kissed Clover and ran off. I turned around and hurried in the direction I had left her. She was slowly walking away when I reached the alley. I felt awful for what I was doing. She didn't believe a word I said to her though. I was going to leave her when I saw a couple of men walking towards her. I watched closely thinking maybe she knew them, but when they started to corner her I ran her way. I knew I was the last person she wanted to see, but I just couldn't let these creeps touch her.

"Hey." I said and they both faced me. "Leave her alone."

Clover looked at me through teary eyes when the men hurried off. I wrapped my arms around her loosely and she cried on my shoulder. The whole scene that happened earlier was far from being on my mind. I felt bad for doing all this to her. She wanted me to leave her alone, but I wouldn't. When her sobs grew softer I dropped my arms and stepped back. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." I shook my head. "You told me to leave you alone, and I keep coming back."

"Thank you." She said hugging me again. I smiled a little loving the way her arms felt around me. "I'm sorry I said all that to you, but Ronnie we have both moved on, and I can't hurt Matt."

I nodded. "I know. I don't want to hurt Caitlyn either, but I she's not you Clover."

She looked into my eyes and I fell for her all over again. The tension between us was unbelievable. You could see the anger, fear, and joy in her eyes. She was a open book and showed her every emotion. The air around us was getting cooler by minute, but we never pulled apart. Then she pushed her lips to mine and kissed me. Our kisses started out innocent and slow, but soon I was licking her bottom lip, dying to deepen the kiss. I had missed this feeling for so long. Someone cleared their throat and Clover pulled away, leaving me wanting more.

"Bloody hell." Matt groaned.

"Nicholls you scared me you bastard." Clover said letting the breath she was holding out.

"Sorry." He slurred. "I didn't see anything. Have you seen Jen? I need to find her."

Clover nodded and grabbed Matt's elbow, leading him back to the party. She didn't even turn to look at me. I slid down the wall and looked at the clear night sky. I didn't expect everything to go back to normal. I just wished I could have had a few more minutes with her. The kissing wasn't enough. I wanted to have an actual conversation, but there was no chance at that. She was back inside now, probably with her fiance. I got up from the dirty ground and went back inside myself. The music was loud and lights were flashing. People were dancing, but all I wanted to do was sit down and think about Clover. She was everything to me and I was letting her get away. Monte sat down across from me and I expected him to cuss me.

"Look I know it's hard." I looked at him and raised my eyebrow.

"You don't know Monte. You don't understand how hard it is. You think I can just stay away and everything be fine? Well you're fucking wrong. Staying away from Clover is harder than getting clean. You think I want this? I'm hurting two wonderful people. Not only is Clover hurting, but so is Caitlyn."

"Sorry." He mumbled. "I'm just sick of Clover breaking down. Every time you come around you hurt her and as her friend that's hard to see."

"She called me." I said taking his drink. "I wrote her a note, and she called me. I could tell she regretted it, but I don't. You know I think she's pissed because I told her I didn't regret leaving. I just want to explain that a little more."

Monte looked at the table and let out a sigh. "I'll tell her what you meant because I know how you feel. You may not believe it, but I do."

I gave Monte a smile and knew he would talk to Clover just like he promised. He was a great kid and I was happy he was friends with Clover. I was jealous of him though. He got to be there for her when she needed help, and I was the one causing her pain. I shook the thought away knowing putting myself down would only make things worse. When I looked up Monte's face looked as if he would be sick.

"Ronnie?" I closed my eyes knowing this wouldn't be good.