Roxanne

It was exactly what I had been hoping—small, quiet and incredibly comfortable.

It wasn’t until I felt Billie’s calloused fingers brushing my shoulder and then holding onto it in order to gain my attention that I realized that the engine to the car had been killed and that Billie had already gotten out and opened up my own door for me. For all I knew, he had been talking to me for ages and I hadn’t heard a damned thing. I tore my eyes from the small pizza joint that stood before the two of us and focused in on the attractive blonde that stood at the door next to me, holding out his hand to help me from the car. Once I realized what his hand was for, I had jumped a bit in what I guess was surprise or something of the sort and placed mine in it to allow him to gently pull me from my seat.

Billie chuckled once I was standing upright on the pavement next to him while fixing my dress with my only free hand. He closed the door behind me gently and then discreetly slid his hand that had still been resting quite comfortably in mine from when he had helped me up to slide the same leather jacket clad arm around my neck and over my bare shoulders. I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew that he really wasn’t nearly as subtle as he must have figured he was considering there had yet to have been a time where I hadn’t noticed his arm when he wrapped it around me. Had there not been an incredibly high chance of it causing an awkward moment or hurting his natural male pride, I would have come right out and told Billie that he didn’t need to try to be subtle about the sweet gesture seeing as I clearly didn’t mind and had I, he certainly would have been the first to know.

My mind slowly drifted back to reality at the sound of a soft chuckle coming from the body that was standing next to mine along with the vibration in the chest that was pressed up against my shoulder. I lifted my eyes from the small pizza parlor and to the green-eyed man that had brought me there only to see his green eyes staring back at me with clear amusement in not only them, but the grin on his face. At the sight of the evident amusement that Billie was feeling, I cocked an eyebrow while one side of my lips rose into what was between a nervous and confused smile. “The look on your face,” Billie pointed out at my silent questioning. Billie’s amused smile twisted into a full-blown, crooked-toothed grin as I only became more confused. He laughed pulled my body against his equally small one with the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders in what was almost like a semi-hug. I wasn’t complaining, however—his body was extraordinarily warm and comfortable. Had I had any say in what went on that evening, I would have suggested that we just stayed like that. “You should see it—it’s like I’ve fulfilled your life’s dreams by taking you here tonight,” he pointed out through a clearly playful grin.

I giggled at Billie’s accusation that was clearly nothing but a harmless joke; however at the same time I was pretty damn sure that it was also an attempt to see if I really ever had been to a pizza parlor prior to that night. I was beginning to get the feeling that Billie may have been victim to the belief that, since my parents had dished out the cash to send their eighteen year old across the country for however long during the summer due to a mere breakup, I was a spoiled little rich kid that had never dined at places such as these. I couldn’t exactly blame him seeing as I would have thought the same exact thing had I been in his shoes, however at the same time I knew that it wouldn’t be hard to prove him wrong. “Oh, of course,” I returned with the same playful grin that Billie had just used on me while he began to lead us towards the glass door to the small restaurant.

Billie grinned down at me, and as if that hadn’t been enough to make me stumble a bit on my feet, I felt him shift so that his nose was buried in my hair while his lips placed a kiss to it as they had done back in my aunt’s house only a little earlier that evening. I had the feeling that not only was Billie pretty damn aware of the way my body had automatically reacted to the feeling of his lips pressed to my hair earlier that evening along with the corners of them the night before, but that he also thoroughly enjoyed it—thus being why he was getting more comfortable with wrapping himself around me and coming into any contact at all with me that night. “I can’t believe how goddamn simple minded you are, Roxy,” Billie pointed out. He was only proving my previously stated point about the belief of me being a spoiled brat even more by stating so. “You’re so…different than I thought you would be.”

Despite the fact that I had already had the idea of Billie thinking that I was a spoiled brat in my mind for a few minutes by then, Billie’s statement had still caught me off guard. I suppose it was because I hadn’t really expected Billie to come right out and admit to me that I was indeed different than the bitch that he had probably thought I was. Still, though, I lifted my head in order to attempt to connect my eyes with his dark green ones to try to get any sort of answer from them while also allowing him to see the confusion in my own. When he didn’t answer my wordless question, I decided to verbalize it. He was a typical man and didn’t answer to anything he didn’t have to and I should have expected it. “Different than you thought?” I asked slowly while cocking an eyebrow.

At the sound of my voice, Billie dropped his head down a bit in order to connect our eyes for a brief moment. He slid his arm from around my shoulders where it had been comfortably resting for the past few minutes and while I resisted the strong temptation to place it back around me where it belonged or to at least tell him to, he outstretched it in front of him to grab the handle of the door. However, once his hand had slid around the metal of the door, he seemed to pause and the question I had just asked seemed to be heard in his mind.

“Uhh…” Billie trailed off slowly. Due to the amount of confusion in my voice and hesitance in his own, Billie must have realized that perhaps his words hadn’t come out exactly as he had meant them. I watched silently with a still-cocked eyebrow as Billie let go of the door and turned to face my body that was standing next to him on the pavement. “Yeah,” he concluded in the same hesitant way that he had started off with. It was the type of hesitant where although he sounded sure of his most recent answer, he seemed to be regretting the statement that had started this whole conversation while also waiting for me to snap at him or something of the sort. When I had failed to move in any sort of way, including the expression of my face, Billie chuckled softly. He rolled his eyes and sighed rather heavily while lifting a tattooed hand to run through his two-toned hair that I was beginning to love nearly as much as his eyes.

After continuing to run his hand through his hair repeatedly for a few moments, Billie dropped his hand down to the back of his neck and began to pull and pinch at the skin in a nervous way. Truth be told, his sudden bashfulness made me feel slightly guilty seeing as I really hadn’t meant to make the guy nervous by asking him what he had meant when he had told me that I was different than he had previously thought—all I had wanted was to know what he had meant by it. Call me crazy, but I originally hadn’t thought of it being that much of a big deal.

However, on the other hand, the fact that it was Billie that was now nervous for once rather than myself was a bit comforting. Perhaps not so much the fact that poor man was actually nervous, but rather the fact that it wasn’t me for the change.

Billie shrugged after continuing to pinch at his neck for a few moments. I twisted my head to the side somewhat as if to ask him again what he meant without actually saying a word and as Billie had done a few times before, he somehow understood my body language. “I just thought you were, y’know, different at first,” he finally stated with another shrug. He dropped his hand down from his neck and tucked it into the pocket of his tight black jeans. “You don’t look nearly as sweet as you are, Roxanne,” he continued. He winced, though, and I assume it was because he had either hated how cheesy the statement was or he had become afraid that he had offended me with that statement, too. “You just—“ He sighed loudly again and rolled his eyes. “Pretty girls like you aren’t normally half as fucking innocent as you are.” Billie chuckled again at what he had just said, however it was a dry chuckle—as in he obviously wasn’t amused with what he had said, but rather embarrassed.

I wasn’t really sure as to what the hell to do once Billie had finished explaining what he had meant when it came to me being different than he had presumed and so I ended up, quite unfortunately, staring at the thirty one year old with nothing but a blank look on my face. I wasn’t exactly sure as to how to take what Billie had just said into context, and therefore I seemed to be able to do nothing else, too. What he had said seemed like a compliment more than him just realizing that he had stereotyped me wrongly, though at the same time I still refused to flatter myself even if it was clear that Billie held an attraction towards me considering we were on a date.

During the time in which I had taken to do nothing but stare mindlessly at Billie, Billie ended up staring right back at me. However instead of looking back at me with the same ridiculous blank expression that I still wore, he had cocked an eyebrow as I had done many times before and stared at me in a confused and questioning manner. He was obviously waiting for me to respond to what he had just said in any sort of way—either verbally or even nonverbally, however I succeeded in failing to do either.

After staring at me in the same perplexed manner for a few long moments and realizing that my face must have become paralyzed seeing as I hadn’t moved even a fraction of an inch, Billie’s confused look faltered and was replaced by a loud laugh in clear amusement while he closed the space between our two equally small bodies. After stepping closer to me and without any hesitation whatsoever; Billie wrapped his leather-clad arms around my bare shoulders and effortlessly pulled me to the inside of his un-zipped leather jacket and against the fabric of his black-shirt.

I was surprised at the amount of affection Billie had already been showing me within the thirty or so minutes that we had been together. The hesitance and awkwardness that we both had to have felt whenever touching each other prior to that night seemed to not only just disappear into thin air, but had become replaced with a natural, relaxed feeling while around each other. It was almost as if the fact that we were on a date with each other was the reason for the whole relaxed nature itself because it was a date rather than just “hanging out”.

Billie chuckled softly and I smiled at the vibration in his chest that my head had buried itself in over the space of 30 seconds. I had tried my best to subtly inhale deeply through my nose to be able to smell him; however I’m sure I was about as subtle to him with that as he had been when wrapping an arm around me. It didn’t take much of an inhale to get a strong whiff of the blonde, though, seeing as he smelt almost too strongly of cologne—much like many guys did on first dates. Although I had never had the joy of having such an experience for myself before that moment, I had always heard from my friends that when they went on first dates, their boyfriends had always used about half a bottle of cologne in hopes to smell good and impress them. The fact that Billie was victim to the same mistakes as seventeen and eighteen year old boys was almost unbearable for my wall that was still barely standing against mankind.

I felt Billie shift his body against mine and then after hesitating, he began to pull his chest away from my face. We both knew that we couldn’t really sit outside of the restaurant all night like that, no matter how tempting it sounded at the moment, and Billie was the first to make the move to go inside. I suppose it was a good thing that he had, because truth be told, I couldn’t see myself doing it. His body was far too comfortable for my own health.

I groaned inwardly at the cold air that wasn’t nearly as warm or welcoming as Billie’s body had been, however I was stopped short as I felt one of Billie’s arms brush my own and not before long, his own hand gripping my own. It wasn’t a strong grip, but rather a light one as if he wasn’t sure whether or not he was making the right move by holding my hand.

He must have decided that it was the correct move to make seeing as about half a minute later, his fingers had laced themselves with my own in a stronger, almost confident hold and he was gently guiding me towards the door that we had once been close to going inside of already that night. I didn’t argue or make it difficult to get there seeing as I was far too dazed by the fact that Billie was really holding my hand to concentrate on anything. The man could have been leading me to the edge of a cliff rather than the pizza joint and I would have followed without a second thought.

I suppose that you could say that I was blowing the whole situation out of proportion seeing that all Billie had done was held onto my hand, but at the same time, I felt like the fifteen year old shy girl on her first date that I was currently acting like. For the last seven years of my life, I had been the closest thing to married without actually legally being married and even though seven years wasn’t all too long memory wise, I was still unable to remember the feeling of holding Bryan Bates hand for the first time or going out on our first date. I couldn’t remember what it was like to get to know someone and then have feelings for them along with the feeling of when finding out that they liked you back.

As far as I was concerned, I was currently on my first date—ever.

I was brought back to reality for what had to have been at least the fifth time that night by Billie sliding his hand from my own in order to open up the door to the small restaurant. Once he had moved his body so that it was holding the door open, he looked back at me and smiled while gesturing for me to step inside. As soon as I had stepped through the doorway, Billie followed and instead of his hand holding mine again, it was placed on the small of my back where it subconsciously played with the fabric of my dress.

The restaurant had been much different than I had originally expected—and by that I mean that it hadn’t been nearly as uncomfortable as Rudy’s. It wasn’t that Rudy’s had been uncomfortable, but rather the people inside of had been. And while I hadn’t realized it until I was standing with Billie inside of it, I had expected this restaurant to be the exact same way. I had fully expected to walk into the small building and receive looks of awe and even anger from the people who occupied it, however I was pleasantly surprised when the few people that were in there either didn’t look at Billie and I at all or just glanced quickly at the curiosity of who was coming inside.

I assume that Billie must have been victim to the same fear as me, because once we had both been fully inside the restaurant, his body had tensed quite noticeably as I’m sure mine had. However, once he had also realized that the people inside showed absolutely no interest in us—or rather, him seeing as we both pretty much knew that he had been the reason for the looks we had received the day before, his body relaxed against mine.

I felt Billie nudge my back and in return I lifted my eyes from the booths that I had been subconsciously staring at and to his own. Once our eyes had connected, Billie grinned down at me and his hand that hadn’t left my back began to rub it in a surprisingly affectionate way. “Casual enough?” He asked while gently pushing my body so that I got the hint to walk. Although I suppose his question could have been taken as him being sarcastic, it didn’t sound sarcastic in the least—but rather actually genuine.

I felt my cheeks burn at Billie’s question and immediately looked away from his clearly amused face in order to save some of my dignity. Though, it didn’t do much for me seeing as Billie chuckled in a way that was clearly admitting that he knew that I was blushing. When I failed to look back at him, Billie muted his amusement for my sake and began to pat my back in a comforting way as if to silently tell me to relax.

“Buongiorno, Billie Joe!”

At the sound of Billie’s voice being called and destroying the silence that was becoming comfortable between the two of us, both Billie’s and my own head snapped towards the counter where your stereotypical Italian man stood with a grin on his lips and his arms spread wide above him. Billie laughed and lifted the arm that wasn’t resting on my back to wave back to the man.

I cocked an eyebrow at Billie as he took his seat across from me in the booth that a waitress had lead us to. Truth be told, I had found what the man had called Billie somewhat weird. I hadn’t been aware that Billie apparently also went by Billie Joe and considering that I was so used to knowing him only by Billie by now, the thought of it was odd to me. It was almost as if it didn’t sound right. While he looked like a Billie, I couldn’t really imagine calling Billie by his first and middle name. Billie Joe sounded so…southern.

Billie looked up at me from his hands that had clasped themselves together on the table. He grinned at the confused expression on my face and tilted his head to the side a bit. “What’s that look for?” He asked. After a moment, his lips were pulled back over his yellow teeth in a relaxed grin that I was sure there because he knew the effect it had on me.

I dropped my eyes from Billie’s smile and down to the menu that had been previously placed on the table before us while lifting a hand to run through my red hair. After a moment of pretending to read the menu, I shrugged and looked back up the blonde that’s eyes were still focused on me. “What look?” I asked with the same platonic smile that Billie had just used on me. When I saw Billie roll his eyes playfully and give me a clearly unimpressed look as a response to my lack of an answer, I giggled quietly. I shrugged after a moment and tried to find the best way to word my thoughts without sounding incredibly stupid or saying something that would embarrass me. It was hard to do, though, with Billie’s eyes on me the whole time. “So do you go by Billie or Billie Joe?” I asked after a moment. It was easier than to try to explain my thoughts.

Billie shrugged and sat up straighter in his seat. He grinned at me, nevertheless. “Both,” he stated easily. He shrugged once again. “My close friends and family call me Billie because they’ve known me for a while,” he admitted. “But people that I’m just meeting usually call me Billie Joe.” He chuckled. “Or other’s when they’re mad at me.” With that said he reached across the table and stole my menu. An accomplished smile crossed his face when I didn’t argue or really even notice. “It doesn’t really matter.”

I nodded slowly and went to look back down at my menu, however scowled when I realized that he had taken it. Billie laughed at my sudden realization and went to push it back to me, but I waved a hand carelessly to tell him that he could have it seeing as I wasn’t a picky eater in the least. Whatever Billie wanted, unless it was absolutely gross, I would eat. “So should I call you Billie or Billie Joe?” I asked while cocking my head to the side and crossing my legs underneath the table. I blushed as my leg brushed his and he chuckled quietly.

“Billie,” he confirmed while nodding his head. He winked at me from across the table and though my mind didn’t make much of a deal about it, I briefly felt the feeling of my heart dropping into my stomach. I probably would have blushed, had I not still been blushing from our legs brushing each others. “Calling me Billie Joe would make you too much of a friend, y’know?” He rolled his eyes at how little sense his statement had made. “Just call me Billie.”

I giggled at the trouble he seemed to be having at the statement, however nodded nonetheless. “So what about him?” I asked. When all I received for a response from Billie was the cocking of an eyebrow, I turned and looked over my shoulder at where the man that had sparked my interest in Billie had been standing when we had walked in. The man was now gone, however Billie had caught on to who I was talking about. “Are you friends with him?”

Billie grinned and lifted a hand to run through his mess of a hair. He tugged at it a few times and shrugged. “I come in here a lot,” he admitted. “They’ve got takeout, too, and well…” He drifted off and laughed. “There’re only so many nights a week that you can have Kraft Macaroni and cheese.”

I giggled at the mental image of Billie making and eating macaroni and cheese every night. “So you’re one of those guys?” I asked while stealing the menu back. I didn’t steal it back so much to look at it, but rather just because he had stolen it in the first place instead of looking at his own.

Billie cocked his head to the side. “One of what guys?” He asked. “The ones that live on shit?” He nodded with a guilty grin. “Yeah.”

I continued to giggle, only now it was at the fact that he was so honest about it and nodded. “The kind that depend on women to make real food, so when they’re on their own they’re helpless.”

Billie laughed and bowed his head out of bashfulness seeing as I seemed to be correct. “Yeah,” he admitted honestly. He shrugged. “I don’t cook,” he added after a moment. “I don’t like trying to sit and read recipes. They make shit so much more complicated than it has be to.” He shook his head. “They just piss me off.” I laughed at the mental image of the rather angry Billie that I had first met at the airport trying to read recipes while he chuckled quietly and fooled with the straw of his drink. “For a while I was living on macaroni and cheese, because it’s easy to make, y’know?” He shrugged again. “I had that shit every day for a goddamn week.” He scowled. “Then my kids came over that weekend so I was planning on taking them out—but apparently Adie has been trying to get them to eat right, so when they saw the boxes they practically verbally beat me until I made it for them.”

I laughed while Billie scowled at the thought of his apparently regular dinner and dropped my eyes back down to the menu. I still felt pretty guilty for having made such a big deal over Billie’s kids and the fact that he was a father in general the night before. The fact that I had made Billie seemingly worried about telling about me the boys made me feel like quite the evil bitch and I was thankful that he hadn’t felt the same way. Currently, though, as Billie continued to explain what his eating habits were with his boys, I realized that my mind had done a complete 180 since Rudy’s—in fact, the thought of Billie being a father was more adorable than anything as of now. The thought of Billie helping to raising two boys that were made by him was almost heartwarming. While it was still hard to believe that the relatively young guy sitting across from me really was indeed a father, I was more in love with the idea of it than anything.

“I love cooking,” I admitted after a moment of “reading” the menu. I looked up at Billie and smiled. “I cook so much.” It was my turn to roll my eyes as Billie cracked a grin. “I’m such a stereotypical 1950’s housewife that it’s almost disgusting.”

Billie’s grin didn’t fade, but rather grew as he shook his head. “It’s not disgusting,” he argued.

I felt my cheeks that had finally been calming down begin to burn again and avoided eye contact with the man across from me at all costs. I knew that Billie seeing and recognizing my blatantly obvious blush was inevitable, however just because he saw them didn’t mean that I had to look at his reaction and become even more humiliated with myself. In response to my obvious embarrassment and lack of preparation when it came to compliments, Billie chuckled and stole my menu back once again as if to lighten the mood.

Despite Billie’s attempt to calm me down, my body relaxed automatically as a waitress came to take our order. However, considering that neither Billie nor I had really paid attention to the menu other than when stealing it from each other or what we had wanted to eat, when she had asked us if we were ready to order, the two of us ended up staring rather blankly at each other as if it would help us decide. Once seeing the blank looks on our faces, the waitress only laughed and told us that she’d come back with our drinks.

Billie chuckled once she had left and lifted a hand to run through his thick hair again. “Do you just want pizza?” He asked. I provided the simplest answer by just nodding. “Alright,” he agreed. “I don’t really give a shit what we get on it—as long as it’s not some weird shit like sardines.” He winced. “My oldest son likes fucking pineapple and ham on his.”

I started to laugh. “Kids always like weird things. It’s like part of their nature,” I agreed. I then shrugged. “I like anything, though. I’m not a picky eater. As long as it’s edible, I’ll eat it. My parents have really creepy toppings for their pizzas, too.”

Billie chuckled and as fast as the topic of what we had wanted to eat came, it disappeared. “So you like to cook?” He asked. I nodded at once and he laughed. He grinned slyly at me. “Are you any good?” I knew at once what he was hinting at, however I didn’t mind in the least.

I shrugged slowly while running my nails over the smooth table top idly. I didn’t want to sound like an egotistical bitch by saying that I was indeed good at cooking; however at the same time I knew that I was. “I’m told I am,” I admitted slowly. I shrugged to show that it wasn’t a big deal. “I’ll just have to cook for you sometime. You can make your own judgment.” I stole the menu back.

“Go ahead,” Billie encouraged with what seemed to be a rather eager nod at my offer of making him any kind of meal. Apparently he was keen on the idea of me doing so. “I can’t remember the last time I had real food.” He rolled his eyes and scowled loudly. “I’m so fucking sick of living on pizza and macaroni and cheese. I’m starting to consider eating fucking dirt.”

I laughed quite loudly and shifted in my seat. “If you had told me that, I would have just offered tonight,” I admitted.

Billie laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he agreed sarcastically. “Roxanne, will you go out with me to dinner, but make the dinner?” He rolled his eyes again. “Because that’s promising. Any girl would love that.”

I giggled at Billie despite the fact that he was mocking me and in return he grinned. “Well, I would have if I knew you were sick of pizza. I really love to cook, Billie. I just offered the first thing that came into my mind—you should have said no.”

Billie reached back across the table and stole the menu back. “I don’t mind,” he said with a careless shrug. “I don’t mind coming here tonight. There’s a difference between eating pizza alone and eating pizza with a gorgeous girl.” For the second time that night, he winked at me.

I wasn’t really sure with how to deal with Billie making any sort of move on me or complimenting me in any way. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, seeing as I did considering the more time I spent with the man the more I adored him, but rather that I wasn’t used to a male saying such things to me. It wasn’t that Bryan had never complimented me, seeing as he had…but Billie wasn’t Bryan and therefore the situation was completely different to the point where I felt as if I was allowed to be nervous about it. However, while I allowed myself to be bashful and shy whenever Billie made comments about me, I was also somewhat worried that I would start to annoy Billie because of it, even if it was inevitable on my part. Though, I suppose that if Billie really had had a problem with my shyness, he probably wouldn’t have continued to call me and certainly wouldn’t have asked me out on a date.

I was saved from complete embarrassment once again by the waitress that now appeared at our table with the two drinks that we had ordered. It was when she had smiled at us and jokingly asked if we had been ready to order that we realized that we had once again failed to pick out what we wanted other than agreeing on pizza. At the realization of our lack of preparation, the waitress laughed while I stole the menu back from Billie a final time.

“Well, we did agree on pizza,” Billie admitted slowly as if he wasn’t even sure about that. In fact, it sounded more like a question rather than a statement. “What do you want on it, Roxy?”

I looked up from the menu that seemed to be a better object to use for adverting my eyes to rather than actually ordering from. I hesitated for a long moment and bit my bottom lip as Billie stole the menu back, earning an off look from the waitress seeing as he still had the same exact menu sitting in front of him. “I’ll have anything,” I admitted in hopes to avoid being difficult. However, by doing that, I was only unintentionally being difficult.

“Pepperoni?” Billie asked without looking at the menu. I had reason to believe that the only reason he stole it back was for sake of having it last before it was to be taken for good by the waitress.

“Sure,” I agreed effortlessly. I took the menu back and pretended to look over it again, which caused a grin to spread over Billie’s lips that the waitress surely wouldn’t understand. By that point in time, we were both well aware that neither of us were actually reading the menu, but instead having a small war over it.

“Pepperoni it is then,” Billie confirmed while allowing his eyes to leave mine briefly and connect with the waitress’s as if to confirm that he was speaking to her rather than me. The waitress nodded and took Billie’s abandoned menu hesitantly, as if she wasn’t sure whether or not to. She went to take mine, however as her hand reached out to take it, Billie got hold of it quickly and handed it to her as if trying to be a gentlemen and help. I scowled lowly and subconsciously while Billie giggled silently and smiled triumphantly towards me.

After hesitating, as if expecting the two of us to request something else or to perhaps change our order since we hadn’t sounded all-too sure to begin with, the waitress smiled somewhat nervously and told us she’d be back with our pizza soon. After smiling and thanking her politely, both Billie and my eyes connected and his polite smile was twisted into a knowing smirk. A part of me was expecting Billie to bring up the menu either straightforwardly or subtly, however I was proved wrong as he shifted in his seat and ran a hand through his light hair. “You wanted pepperoni, right?” He asked. It was hesitant and had I not wanted pepperoni pizza prior to his bashful question, I certainly did then.

I lifted the drink that the waitress had just brought only a few minutes ago and took a sip in order to mute my giggles. Once I had gained enough confidence so that I wouldn’t laugh at Billie, I placed it back down onto the table before me and tried my best to ignore the feeling of his eyes watching my every move. “I love pepperoni,” I stated with a dismissive shrug. “My mom has pictures of me just sitting on our kitchen floor and eating it when I was younger.” I winced automatically in embarrassment at the word vomit that I had just become victim to.

I jumped in slight surprise at the feeling of something brushing my leg underneath the table only a minute or two later. When my eyes rose from the table and to Billie’s slightly confused, yet amused ones, I realized that what had brushed my leg had really been him prodding me with his foot in order to get my attention. When our eyes met, his lips were pulled upwards into a smile. “Stop being nervous, Roxanne.” The tone of Billie’s voice was enough to show that he was being dead serious, however at the look of my face which couldn’t have been too short of mortification I imagine, he chuckled and his smile was turned into a full-blown grin. “You’re always blushing and you always seem so damn nervous—Christ, you’re starting to fucking make me nervous!”

Despite the fact that I knew Billie was joking, I also knew that what he was saying was honest and what he was requesting was really what he wanted. Due to that knowledge and Billie’s accusations, I felt my cheeks burn with the familiar warmth that Billie had literally just pointed out t me. I bowed my head slightly in order to attempt to subtly hide my blush so that he wouldn’t see; however I was pretty damn positive that it didn’t work. There really wasn’t any easy way to hide a blush like mine. “Sorry,” I apologized lamely while picking at my dress. It was all I knew to do. After all, what else was I supposed to say, “okay”?

Billie cocked an eyebrow at my apology that must have made literally zero sense to him, then laughed rather loudly. He had obviously caught sight of the color that was still flowing into my cheeks. “You’re blushing!” He pointed out as if I was oblivious to it. The same grin that had spread across his face was still there, only larger—he was beyond amused at this point. At the sight of the rather bright pigment of my cheeks, Billie forced himself to sit back in his seat; however the grin was still there. “Why the hell are you blushing, Roxy?” He asked, although amused, incredulously.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled lamely. At this point, those three words were the absolute best that I could do. I groaned and lifted a hand to my cheeks to bury my face in as they became even hotter in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” I apologized again. I was speechless and it wasn’t because I was flattered, but rather absolutely mortified. I knew that Billie wasn’t embarrassing me on purpose or out of maliciousness, but either way I was beginning to consider jumping out the window.

Billie laughed. He reached across the table and pried my hand from my cheeks that probably looked as if they had been sun burnt by now. He grinned while still holding onto my hand in a comforting manner. “Don’t apologize,” he told me. “I’m not looking for an apology, sweetie. I just don’t get why the hell you’re so bashful—do your parents beat you or something?”

At the realization that Billie was joking, I giggled quietly. I bowed my head to look down at my lap and then shook it faintly. “No,” I answered honestly despite the small giggle that accompanied it. “They don’t.” I looked back up and shrugged. “I don’t know,” I admitted again. “I really don’t.”

Billie tilted his head to the side and his eyes narrowed. Apparently my answer hadn’t been satisfying to him. “Didn’t you say that you’re in your schools plays?” He asked slowly. I nodded the same way that I had shaken my head a few moments ago; however I was confused at what that had to do with anything. “Didn’t you say you were the lead role sometimes?” He asked in the same accusing tone. Again, I wordlessly nodded. I felt as if Billie was accusing me rather than asking a question. At my nod, Billie’s eyes no longer stayed narrowed while he also sat up straighter. The grin that had been on his face prior to those questions was back as if it had never felt. “How the hell do you do that if you’re so goddamn shy, Roxanne?” He asked. “You can’t be that way up on stage.” He laughed. “Aren’t all you theater kids expressive and outgoing?” His last statement was a clear mockery of the stereotypical high school kid and he knew it.

Before I had the chance to even think of an answer to Billie’s most recent accusations, our attention was drawn to the waitress that was carrying a round tray that held the pizza we had ordered. We both broke our gazes from each other’s eyes that we had apparently become rather interested in and to the young girl that was smiling at us. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Billie sit up straighter, thus disconnecting our hands that I hadn’t realized were connected in the first place. Apparently when he had taken my hand from my cheeks when I had been blushing, he had forgotten to release it.

The waitress had placed plates before the two of us and then the tray of pizza on the table between the two of us. After asking if we needed anything she left the table for the third time that night, resulting in a surprisingly somewhat awkward silence as we both took a slice from the tray.

I could feel Billie’s eyes on me and hear the chuckle in his throat as I ripped off the pepperoni from my pizza and ate it separately. I lifted my eyes from the pizza before me to the good-looking man and grinned bashfully. He was correct when he had previously said that the theater kids were “expressive” and outgoing and while I suppose at some situations I was both of those, I was, for the most part, a pretty quiet girl. Bryan had always been the loud and somewhat obnoxious one, so I never had felt the need to.

When I realized that the silence between us wasn’t caused by the food in our mouths but rather Billie waiting for me to answer his questions that had been asked before the waitress came, I wiped my hands on my napkin and shrugged. “I’m kinda outgoing,” I admitted lamely. I could tell by the grin on his face that he wasn’t all-too convinced…at all. I giggled at the lack of convincing I had done and shrugged. “I am,” I insisted. “I mean, I’m not loud, per say, but I’m pretty outgoing.”

Billie chuckled and I believe that it had to do with the fact that I had completely avoided what he was really asking—why the hell was I so nervous around him.

“I’m not used to meeting guys,” I finally admitted after another silence. Other than chuckling, Billie hadn’t spoken after my last explanation. When I had continued on with my latest statement, I had quite obviously caught his attention because he placed his pizza down on his plate and tilted his head to the side. I groaned inwardly. I had been hoping that Billie would have paid as much attention to what I was currently saying as I’m sure he did to the rest. Billie didn’t speak, however nodded as if to tell me to continue. Out of stubbornness, I ripped off a piece of the crust to my pizza and ate it first. A knowing grin had spread across Billie’s face as I had done so. “Imagine only dating one person in your life—ever.” I continued hesitantly after a moment. “Not like, you dated them for a few weeks and then never dated again, but dated them since before you can even remember.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m not used to getting to know guys. I’ve been in the same relationship since I was eleven,” I concluded slowly. I hesitated and winced as I continued seeing as not many people would like to call themselves what I was about to. “I’m completely sheltered when it comes to the whole dating thing.” I sighed. “I mean…” I trailed off. “As far as I’m concerned, this is kinda my first date ever.” At the realization of how stupid I sounded, I scowled and rolled my eyes.

What I had just said must have caught up to Billie, for the piece of pizza that he had just picked up again had been dropped back onto his plate and he was gawking at me somewhat. “Didn’t you and your boyfriend ever go on dates, Roxanne?” He asked incredulously.

“Did you and your wife?” I returned quite rudely. Billie winced. “I’m sorry,” I apologized with a sigh after a moment. “We did go out—but it wasn’t really considered a date. I mean, we’d go to the movies or to dinner but it was so simple.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ve never gone on a first date with a guy. I mean, I’m sure Bryan and I went on one, but I don’t remember it. I don’t remember just getting to know him. I don’t remember any of that.”

Billie stared at me for a moment, though he seemed to have been lost in thought rather than actually staring. After a moment of silence that included me picking apart my pizza, Billie began to laugh. It wasn’t a full laugh, as if he was amused at what I had just said or a mocking laugh, but rather a nervous one. I tilted my head to the side in confusion at his reaction to what had just taken a lot of emotional energy, however once Billie saw my expression, he began to shake his head. “I’m so damn surprised, Roxanne,” he admitted with a chuckle. “Pretty damn nervous, too,” he added after a moment of pausing to think. He then nodded as if to confirm that he had meant it.

“Nervous?” I asked in confusion. If Billie was as nervous as he was saying, then I wanted tips from him on how to mask my emotions. Pronto.

Billie nodded. He ripped off a piece of his pepperoni from his pizza and after eyeing it rather hungrily for a moment, he reached his hand out to offer it to me. I looked at Billie’s hand in surprise for a moment and then bashfully accepted the piece of meat he was holding when I realized that I had eaten all of mine. Apparently Billie had been paying more attention to my actions than I had expected. And even though it was indeed a rather odd gesture, it was just as sweet.

I took the pepperoni from Billie’s hand and once I began to eat it, Billie chuckled. “Nervous,” he confirmed after taking a sip of his drink and nodding his head. “You’ve put this pressure on me, Roxy,” he added. I was confused and slightly taken back at how I could have possibly put pressure on Billie by simply explaining that I was a sheltered child, however once I saw the grin on his lips I realized that he was joking—to some extent, at least.

“Pressure?” I asked with the same tone of confusion as I had used only a minute or so before. I was finding myself having trouble keeping up with Billie by this point, but at the same time I didn’t want to look like a naïve idiot.

Billie nodded again and shrugged. He stared at me for a moment and then shook his head. “I should have taken you somewhere other than a pizza joint,” he stated after a moment. He chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, I feel kinda crappy that your idea of a first date is some pizza restaurant with some pedophile thirty one year old.”

I burst into giggles at the sound of Billie calling himself a pedophile considering how absolutely ridiculous it had sounded to me. “That’s not true at all!” I argued through the grin that was now plastered to my face. “Billie, I told you—I love places like this.” He cocked an eyebrow and I giggled, which resulted in a grin spreading across his lips. “I don’t like fancy things—I’m a teenager,” I pointed out even though I’m sure neither of us had really forgotten it.

“I know,” he agreed lamely. He ran a hand through his hair again and then ruffled it, causing it to stick up on all ends in a complete mess. I adored it. “But I shoulda surprised you or something, y’know?”

I scowled loudly and shook my head, causing Billie to cock an eyebrow in surprise. “I hate it when guys do that,” I stated firmly.”I would have been upset if you brought me to some overly-suave place. This is literally perfect.”

I lifted my eyes from Billie’s face that was clearly lost in thought at what I had just said and placed them on the destroyed piece of pizza that sat before me on my plate. When I had lost interest in studying the piece of dough with only my eyes, I lifted them back up to connect them with Billie’s, however my attention was caught by his hand that was once again outstretched before him holding another piece of pepperoni.