Roxanne

I had been in my aunt’s backyard, lying upon a float in her pool while taking the chance of listening to my iPod although surrounded by water when my phone rang.

At first I had taken the fact that I hadn’t had any sort of contact from Billie since Thursday when our date had taken place and that it was now Monday into consideration and ignored Matthew Bellamy’s voice as it continued to belt out from my phone, however soon after I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me. As much as I had begun to finally deny it, fact was I was pretty damn desperate to hear from the thirty one year old “sweet child”.

I had originally woken up Friday morning fully expecting to hear from the man that had been doing a fantastic job at driving me absolutely crazy lately. In fact, truth be told, the sole reason as to why I had woken up that Friday morning prior to twelve as I had developed the habit to already that summer was because I had thought that I had heard my phone going off and had, of course, assumed that it would be Billie. And, well, it hadn’t been as if my expectations were crazy or anything seeing as before Billie had left that evening, when he had managed to fit in a few words between the extraordinarily shy brushing of our lips, he had promised that he’d call me the next day.

Although I had been a bit disgruntled when I had woken up and realized that it hadn’t been Billie calling me and that my phone really hadn’t even been ringing at all, there had been absolutely no part of me that worried about receiving a call from Billie that day. Rather than worrying, I had ended up getting up from bed and showering in case the man that had already taken over my mind for the day despite the fact that I hadn’t been awake for even ten minute, did end up calling and asking me to do something that day. I suppose that you could say that Billie’s kisses had left me on a rather large high due to the fact that never in my life had I been so optimistic about a situation, never mind a person.

It would be a lie to say that even though I was on my high from the night before I didn’t worry about the weekend and how it would work out for the thirty one year old and myself. Considering the fact that my aunt didn’t work on the weekends, she would quite obviously be home with me for it. The fact that she would be home for the weekend would make any plans that Billie and I would possibly make more complicated than the plans that we had easily been making all week long. If the two of us decided to do anything that weekend, I knew damn well that I’d either have to make up an excuse to my aunt as to why I would be leaving her home and then perhaps even meet Billie somewhere, or tell my aunt about Billie. And well, truth be told, I still wasn’t ready to sit down and explain to my aunt that I had taken interest into a thirty one year old man and then continue to explain how he was not a pedophile in any way, shape or form.

I suppose that I shouldn’t have spent so much time worrying about how being with Billie that weekend would have worked out due to the fact that that same Friday night, I had ended up lying in my aunt’s den watching movies on HBO and text messaging Sadie rather than going out with the thirty one year old. I hadn’t gone out with Billie due to the fact that I had received no phone call from him during the day or any contact all, really.

For a while I had begun to wonder if I should have called Billie or if I had misheard him the night before seeing how caught up I had been in his lips rather than words and instead of telling me that he’d call me that day he told me that he wouldn’t. However, the more I thought of my idea and theory, the more I realized how ridiculous they were. In all honesty, if I had managed to even get the guts to get as far as even considering in calling Billie, I wouldn’t have known what to have said—especially if he had picked up. If I had managed to call Billie and he had picked up, out of pure embarrassment I probably would have hung up rather than taken my chances with an awkward conversation.

And well, no matter how little attention I had been paying to Billie’s words the night before, I was still pretty damn sure in what he had said to me. After all, I found it pretty hard to believe that Billie would have acted the way he had by alternating sweet, short kisses from my cheek, to my jaw and even my lips if he had been telling me that he wouldn’t be calling me.

It had taken me a while that Friday night, but I managed to brush off the fact that Billie hadn’t called me and quite obviously wasn’t going to. While I was slightly disappointed from not hearing from the thirty one year old, I also knew that I didn’t want to become one of those needy, high-maintenance girlfriends [if that’s what I even was to Billie] that threw a fit every time their boyfriend didn’t call. They were absolutely awful and the last thing I wanted was for Billie to compare me to one.

I had woken up Saturday with a little less bounce in my step seeing as my high from the feeling of Billie’s lips was beginning to wear off.

My aunt had already been up and had already made a pot of coffee and even waffles by the time I had made it down into the kitchen that morning. As soon as I had walked in and had smelt the food and beverages that I wasn’t used to smelling seeing as my aunt had never been there in the mornings, my body had jerked awake and I believe I had even jumped a bit, which caught my aunt’s attention.

“Are you alright, dear?” She had asked while trying to conceal the clear amusement in her voice at my obvious surprise.

Instead of giving my aunt an actual answer, I grumbled a bit to myself as I had shuffled over to a stool near my aunts and perched myself on it. “Yeah,” I muttered lamely after a long silence. “I’m just not used to having people here when I wake up.” I didn’t really need to tell my aunt that, considering I do believe she understood from the look of surprise on my face when I had entered the kitchen.

After grabbing a plate of waffles and sitting with my aunt in her kitchen for a good hour or so, my aunt had apparently decided that she had had enough of sitting around. After clearing our plates from the island that we had both been sitting at, she had clapped her hands loudly and obnoxiously. In response, I only cocked an eyebrow. “Let’s go see a movie,” my aunt proposed. “And we can have lunch and I can show you around Berkeley.” I groaned inwardly as my aunt shut off the television before us. “Your parents sent you out here to have a good time and get your mind off of your deadbeat ex-boyfriend.” She smiled sympathetically at me while I tried to ignore it. I didn’t want sympathy for Bryan Bates simply because it only made me feel as if I was still mourning over the death of our relationship. “I know that I’m not here on weekdays, and for that I’m sorry—but it’s the weekend now and I want to get you out of this house. I can’t imagine how bored you are of it!”

I chuckled quietly at the fact that my aunt truly was completely oblivious to the things I had done this past week, yet at the same time I kept it quiet so that she wouldn’t realize that something was up. After realizing that my aunt was waiting for an answer from me, I nodded my head and accepted her offer to see a movie and Berkeley. After all, I had been sent to California to relax at my aunt’s house and even with my aunt when she would be around—not a thirty one year old guitarist that I would meet on the plane.

It had been when I was in my room and picking out my outfit for the day when I began to wonder what would have happened that day if I were to receive a call from Billie or even perhaps run into him while I was out with my aunt in Berkeley. Billie had once told me that he prowled Berkeley when he was bored and so I suppose the thought of running into him wasn’t completely crazy, nor was the thought of him calling me.

I knew that if Billie had called me at any time during that day, I would act as if I was talking to Sadie or someone back from Connecticut. Considering that Billie already knew that I hadn’t told my aunt about him, he would probably pick up what I was doing rather fast—or so I hoped, at least. If not, I’d excuse myself from my aunt quickly and talk to him quickly, then tell my aunt that it was a friend from Connecticut once we hung up.

If I saw Billie, though—that was completely different. If somehow and someway Billie and I ended up in the same place that Saturday at the same time, I wasn’t sure exactly what I would do. I knew damn well that I wouldn’t be able to run over and hug the man as I certainly would want to, however at the same time I also knew that I wouldn’t be able to walk by him without acknowledging him somehow. I suppose if I absolutely had to, I’d introduce my aunt to Billie, however I can’t promise that I’d introduce him as the man that had I had spent the whole week with and was steadily beginning to fall for.

I shouldn’t have been surprised nor let down Saturday night when my aunt and I had returned home from catching a movie and dinner in Berkeley. Although I had already known and somewhat accepted that the chances of seeing Billie were indeed very small, the fact that I hadn’t run into him nor heard from him all day still caused a small black cloud to hang over my head.

When I woke up Sunday morning and spent half of my afternoon lying on a float in my aunt’s pool as she tanned in one of the chairs on the patio with still no contact from the thirty one year old bastard, I could have sworn that a few drops had begun to fall from my small black cloud and I suppose you could say that I began to over react about the whole lack of contact ordeal.

It had gotten to the point where I was beginning to wonder why I hadn’t heard anything from the thirty one year old man. Had I said something Thursday that had ticked him off? Had the fact that I hadn’t told my aunt really bothered him more than he had let on? Well, shit, was I a bad kisser? After kissing me, did Billie realize that I really was too young for his liking? Otherwise, I couldn’t pinpoint as to why the bastard hadn’t called me.

It was about two o’clock when I excused myself to my aunt and from her pool to use the bathroom. After drying off by my aunt’s French doors, I had wrapped my towel around my body and made my way through her large maze of a home and to my bedroom rather than bathroom where I sat myself down on the bed. After rolling my phone in my hands for a few moments and doing nothing by staring down at it for that time, I decided that I had had enough of the lack of contact between Billie and myself and decided that I’d be the one to call him.

Before calling Billie, I planned out what would happen if Billie did or did not pick up the phone. If Billie ended up picking up, rather than snapping at him like I was beginning to want to do considering I was a teenage girl and it was pretty much my job to overreact, I would just make small, stupid talk. I knew that if I actually got as far as talking to the faux blonde that I’d sit and kick myself in the head for only planning small talk, however at the time I could plan no better.

If Billie didn’t pick up, though, I wasn’t sure what I would do. Depending on how I felt, I’d either leave him a voice mail or just hang up. Due to the fact that I found voicemails incredibly awkward and would have no idea what the hell to say to his voicemail, I had a pretty good feeling that I’d end up hanging up.

And so I took my chance. I found Billie’s name in my phone’s contact list in a matter of seconds and after hesitating for a good minute or two, I pressed the call button and placed my phone against my ear rather awkwardly.

At first, while it had began to ring, I immediately felt regret in calling him and realized that I’d do nothing but stumble like a complete psychotic child over my words if he picked up and pulled my phone from my ear to end the call. However, as Billie’s phone continued to ring without any answer or any sign of one, I managed to force myself to stay connected in the call and began to attempt to plan out what I would do if he picked up once again considering I seemed to have forgotten. I began to run over the conversations Billie and I had had when Billie had called me the few times. Since each time he had called me had been, for the most part, only slightly awkward, I knew that if I stayed along the lines of those conversations I’d be fine.

It had to have been only a minute later when Billie voice came through the speaker. At first at the sound of his voice I felt my body, never mind my heart jerk a little in surprise and I supposed even hope; however it was only about a fraction of a second later when I realized that rather than it actually being Billie picking up the phone, it was just his voicemail. Once I realized that it really was his voicemail rather then him, I jumped slightly and automatically ended the call before the automated voice had the time to tell me to leave a message after the beep.

As soon as I placed my phone back on my bed, I ended up scowling quite loudly in defeat. I had called Billie after two days of not hearing from him and had still come up empty-handed. Considering calling Billie was the best thing I could have done seeing as I didn’t know where Billie lived and wouldn’t have showed up randomly even if I had, I truly was shit out of luck when it came to reaching the bastard.

For a while I began to mentally beat myself for not leaving a voicemail when I had called. Even if I had left a short, awkward one it would have been something for Billie to hear. For a moment I began to wonder if I should have called Billie back quickly and left a voicemail. All I would say was hi and to call me back when he had the chance or something along the lines, however I disregarded myself on account of I didn’t want to seem like an annoying bitch by calling two times within a space of ten minutes. I would have looked like an obsessive bitch if I had called back, especially if I had left a voicemail the second time. And, well, leaving an awkward message wouldn’t have really helped me, anyway.

After sulking for a good five minutes and perhaps even waiting to see if I would suddenly become lucky and receive a call from Billie, I ended up getting up from my bed and heading back outside to where my aunt still lied, completely oblivious to the real reason why I had just gone inside for the small amount of time that I hadn’t been there.

“Hello?” I answered monotonously. I wedged my phone between my ear and my left shoulder as I hoisted my body up from the water in my aunt’s pool and onto the patio next to it. While I had been lifting my body, my phone slipped from my shoulder and landed with a rather loud clunk on the patio. In return, I winced at the damage that was probably caused due to how many times I had dropped my phone already over the year that I had had it and scowled loudly while grabbing it. “Sorry,” I apologized lamely to whom I still didn’t know. “My phone fell.”

For the first time in four days, I was graced with the sound of a chuckle that had become incredibly familiar to me recently. At the sound of the soft laugh, my body froze in shock and I found myself fumbling with my phone quickly yet clumsily to avoid dropping it on my aunt’s patio again. “Roxanne?” Billie called once I had placed my phone back against my ear. He must have heard my fumbling.

I winced. I was beginning to wonder if Billie was beginning to think that I was slightly psychotic. It wasn’t as if I could blame him, considering I was beginning to believe it myself. Perhaps that had been the reason as to why he hadn’t called me—he thought I was psychotic. And well, who wanted a psychotic girl, never mind a teenager. “Billie?” I answered awkwardly. I wasn’t real sure of what else to say at the moment. ’Hello, how are you’ didn’t seem to fit the situation.

Billie chuckled once again and I found myself surprised as a great amount of tension that I hadn’t noticed was released from my body at the sound of it. A reaction like that from something as simple as a laugh couldn’t have been healthy for me. “Hi,” Billie greeted. He sounded slightly nervous. “How…uh, how are you?”

Or maybe it did.

I cocked an eyebrow at Billie’s awkward attempt to make conversation, but answered him honestly nonetheless. “I’m pretty good,” I answered slowly. “How are you?” Oh, and where have you been for the past three days? Just wondering for shits and giggles.

“Good,” Billie answered. “I’m good.” We both fell silent and I rolled my eyes. This was ridiculous. The two of us hadn’t spoken for a mere three days and now we were suddenly back to square one and awkward? I felt as if I was talking to the same Billie as I had been the first time he had ever called me Tuesday night. It wasn’t a comforting thought. Billie sighed loudly, catching my attention. “I’m sorry for not calling you this weekend, Roxy,” he apologized in a surprisingly sincere manner. “I had every intention to,” he continued. “I was going to call you Friday morning when I woke up, but I was woken up by Adrienne. She had some business shit or something, I don’t know—I couldn’t really ask. But she asked if I could take the boys early, and well, I wasn’t going to say no to my own children, y’know?” He explained.

Not only had I felt as if Billie had literally slapped me, but I winced as if he had, too.

Billie had spent the weekend with his children and I had spent my weekend sulking over the fact that he hadn’t called me. I truly was a brat—a spoiled, rotten brat.

While I suppose that there truly was no way for me to find out that Billie had spent the weekend with his kids prior to then, and so my reaction towards the lack of contact between the two of us was somewhat justified, I still felt guilty as hell. I should have at least considered his kids at least an option. The fact that I hadn’t made me feel like a completely stupid bitch.

“Oh,” I murmured quietly into the phone once I realized that Billie had been waiting for some kind of sign that I was still there. I had absolutely nothing else to say at the moment. I wanted desperately to apologize to Billie for the thoughts that had crossed my mind and had begun to turn ruthless that weekend, however at the same time I knew that if I did apologize to him, I’d have to explain why I was apologizing.

“Yeah,” Billie sighed. He chuckled, though. “And, y’know, even Friday they fucking had me running all over. Adrienne left, then they came in and asked for breakfast. I don’t have jack shit here—you saw what I got the other day, Roxy. Fuckin’ hamburgers, chips and beer.” Truth be told, I hadn’t really taken notice to what Billie had gotten when we had met in the supermarket, but I believed him anyway and it brought quite the smile to my face. He truly was a typical male. “I was still planning on going grocery shopping before they came.” He groaned while I giggled quietly. “So I took them out to eat. They fucking verbally beat me until I took them to Denny’s. Adrienne tries to make them eat healthy, so they go to dad’s house and have a fucking fiesta.” He sighed loudly and I giggled. After a minute or so, my giggles faded and a silence took over our conversation. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should have spoken, however Billie thankfully made my decision for me. “But I’m sorry, Roxy,” he apologized with a much calmer and softer tone. “I was going to call you Friday night, but by the time I got Jake back into his room to finally sleep and chased all the monsters out from under his bed, it was real late and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

If my mouth hadn’t already been stretched as far as possible with a smile at the fact that Billie’s kids took clear advantage of him and that he damn well knew it, the image of Billie chasing the “monsters” our of his kids room certainly would have done the job.

“I turn my phone off at night,” I lied. I didn’t want Billie to feel guilty in any sort of way for not calling me that weekend anymore. “So I wouldn’t have gotten it anyway.” I shrugged despite the fact that Billie couldn’t see me. “My aunt was home, anyway,” I explained. “I’m not even sure if I would have been able to subtly get to my phone.”

Billie laughed and another smile spread across my face. His laughter softened and then faded into a comfortable silence as my giggles had just done not too long ago. “Is your aunt home now?” Billie asked rather hesitantly.

“Nope.” If she had been, our phone call would have been incredibly awkward and most likely rushed. Not to mention that I probably would have been calling Billie “Sadie” rather than his actual name.

“Hmm…” Billie hummed. I cocked an eyebrow and bit down onto my bottom lip in curiosity as to what was going through his mind as he became quiet. “Well then maybe I could make up for a weekend of leaving you hanging.”

Sensing the amusement in Billie’s voice was inevitable and so was grin that made its way onto my face at the thought of seeing what had to be my favorite Californian again. While I know that it had only been a mere three days since I had last seen Billie, I missed the hell out of him. Before the weekend and excluding Monday, I had seen Billie every single day since I had arrived in California and although my attitude had changed completely about it, I still wasn’t keen on the three day break we had taken.

“Maybe you could,” I responded with the same tone as Billie. “It depends on what you have in mind.”

Truth be told, Billie could have told me that he was thinking of going skydiving and I would have followed him, terrified of heights or not.

Billie laughed lightly. “Um...I don’t really know. I’m a guy,” he stated as if it was an actual excuse. “I don’t really care, either—I just want to see you.”

My body jerked a bit in surprise as my heart skipped a beat and my cheeks began to burn as if rather than admitting that he wanted to see me, Billie had held a match to them. By the end of our date Thursday night I had had confidence in the fact that I was getting used to being around Billie and his compliments, however I had apparently been proven wrong. Apparently I still wasn’t alright with accepting the fact that someone other than Bryan Bates, especially someone like Billie, actually wanted me.

“Roxanne?” Billie called. He then must have figured out that I was, unsurprisingly, having a small heart attack because he chuckled. Apparently he was used to my overreacting by now. I suppose that that was a good thing, considering he hadn’t run away yet. “You’re still alive, right?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled once I realized that he was speaking to me. “No, no, I’m fine, sorry,” I rambled aimlessly. I sighed loudly at how ridiculous I was while beginning to fumble with the straps to my bikini. “My mind drifts off every once in a while,” I added lamely. I suppose if I lied to myself about having a mental breakdown, Billie may have believed it, too. Or perhaps he’d just feel bad for me and let it go.

Billie laughed loudly while I scowled. “What do you have in mind, Roxy?” He asked thoughtfully after a moment. “I’ve chosen so far and well, I’m old and boring.” He laughed at his own joke.

I giggled quietly at Billie as I continued to play with the strings to my bikini. Truth was, if Billie and I were to go out that day, that’d mean I’d have to shower and get ready, which would end up taking a good chunk of unnecessary time. And well, let’s face it—not only was I becoming incredibly tired of Billie spending his money on me, but I was feeling ridiculously lazy. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to go out.

“I’ve been tanning all day,” I stated. I imagined Billie cocking an eyebrow at how irrelevant my statement was and grinned. “If we were to go out, I’d have to shower and get ready and crap and I’m a girl so naturally, I take forever.” Billie laughed at my brutal honesty while I smiled. “You can come over, though,” I offered after a moment of running the possibilities of what to do through my head. “My aunt has a pool and, well, I’m kinda sick of having you pay for me, anyway.”

I grinned widely as Billie sighed at my last statement. “I didn’t buy you a goddamn car, Roxy.” He chuckled. “But I’m considering it just to see the look on your face.” I gasped automatically at the thought of Billie doing something so stupid and in return he snorted. If Billie had ever done something such as that, I wouldn’t have known what to do. “Would it be alright if I went over?” Billie asked hesitantly. “I don’t want you to get in some trouble or shit because of it.”

“My aunt doesn’t get home until about eight or so,” I pointed out. “I mean, Thursday she didn’t get home until like ten thirty.” Thank god. I shrugged again despite the fact that Billie still couldn’t see it.

I decided to not tell Billie about the talk that my aunt and I had had the first day that I had been in California about how she didn’t want guys over her house with me for obvious reasons.

“Alright,” Billie accepted after a moment of silence in which I believe he used to mull over his decision. Truth be told, I hadn’t really expected him to turn down my offer. “Should I bring anything over?” He asked. “Lunch? I could pick something up on my way.” I rolled my eyes and sighed at how I had just told Billie that a main reason that I didn’t want to go out was to avoid him spending money on me, yet he still offered to buy lunch. Before I could even think of a response to Billie’s offer, he cut me off. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, Roxanne,” he ordered in a surprisingly stern tone. If Billie hadn’t added my name at the end of his sentence, I would have thought that he was talking to one of his boys.

Once I realized that Billie had called me out, I was unable to keep a straight face and burst into a fit of giggles. “What?” I asked in confusion. “I didn’t just roll my eyes at you.” I wasn’t actually going to admit to him that I had just rolled my eyes at him.

Billie chuckled. “You just got that teenage girl attitude on me,” he stated. “You sighed and I could hear it in your sigh that you totally just rolled your eyes at me.” I giggled quietly and ignored the burning in my cheeks at not only the fact that Billie had called me out on rolling my eyes, but at the way he had described it. There was also the fact that while describing to me what I had done, he had raised his voice a pitch or so and added a lisp as if to mock a female. Or, well, as if to mock me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I continued to deny while biting my thumb’s nail shyly.

Billie laughed loudly at the fact that I was obviously guilty. “No, I’m sure you don’t,” he agreed. His laughter faded a bit. “But do you want me to pick anything up, Roxy?” He asked. I groaned inwardly at the conversation that we were returning to. “I’d hate to show up empty handed, and it’s noon…I could get pizza, or sandwiches or some shit, I don’t know, whatever you’d like.”

“Billie,” I called quietly. Despite my lack of volume, Billie stopped talking immediately as if I had yelled at him instead. “I told you I’d cook for you, so I’ll just make something here. My aunt sent me grocery shopping last Tuesday, so we’ve got plenty of crap here.”

“Are you sure?” Billie asked. He was hesitant and in return, I sighed. We were beginning to go in circles and it was becoming not only extraordinarily redundant, but somewhat obnoxious.

“Obviously not, since I’m offering,” I muttered. “Billie, seeing me doesn’t require you paying for a meal.”

Billie snorted. He seemed more proud of the fact that he had gotten me to snap at him than anything else. “Alright, alright,” he finally mumbled in defeat. “I’ll come over soon then—after I stop at the dealership. You said your birthday already passed this year? Good, consider it a late birthday gift from me to you. You like BMW’s? You seem like the Mercedes type to me.”

It took me a moment, however I gasped once what Billie had said had registered in my mind and then scowled loudly at the teasing Billie was doing to me. He only snickered. “You’re hilarious, Billie,” I snapped.