Roxanne

016.

Billie, much to my surprise, arrived within ten minutes of our phone call.

Despite the fact that Billie had only been late picking me up once out of the couple of times that we had gone out together and the other time he had actually been early, I suppose that I hadn’t really expected him to show up at my aunt’s so quickly. Due to my expectations, rather than slipping on a pair of shorts and heading inside to wait for the thirty one year old, I sprawled out across the patio that surrounded the pool that I had just spent my day in.

And well, if I told you that when my aunt’s doorbell echoed throughout the house and even faintly into the back yard in what had to have been less than ten minutes after my phone call with Billie had ended that I was not surprised, I’d be lying.

It took me a moment to realize what exactly was going on and that a doorbell had even been wrung in the first place. Once my mind seemed to process the fact that there was indeed someone at the door, I had managed to quickly get up and pull on a pair of shorts with the same speed. It was when I was pulling on that pair of shorts that I seemed to have started to realize that the doorbell that I had heard had to have been wrung by none other than Billie seeing as he was the only one that would feel the need to ring a doorbell, never mind the fact that he was also the only one I was expecting considering he was the only person on the whole West Coast that I was familiar with.

And it was while I was realizing that Billie had indeed arrived that I felt a small inkling of panic arise in my chest.

I suppose that the fact that I was beginning to somewhat panic inside my mind at the thought of facing Billie for the first time in three days was indeed ridiculous considering it had only been a mere three days, but at the same time I knew damn well that it was inevitable. I believe that I was beginning to accept the fact that I was somewhat of a nervous wreck around Billie at all times, no matter how well I hid it.

As soon as I had pulled up my shorts and fastened the button, I hurried from my aunt’s backyard, into the kitchen of her house through the French doors and through her house to the foyer. It was when I reached the foyer that I forced myself to take a deep breath and collect my thoughts so that when I opened the door and finally actually faced Billie I wouldn’t come off as the psychotic teenager that I’m sure, despite his sincerity, he had pegged me for. For a moment I began to wonder if I should have quickly gone up to my room and grabbed a tank top to throw over my bikini top, however at the same time I knew that at some point during the day, considering the fact that Billie came over to hang around outside with me and most likely swim, I’d end up having to take it off. And well, I preferred to get the staring at me done rather than having to practically strip in front of Billie’s eyes later. I don’t mean to sound egotistical by assuming that Billie was going to stare at my bikini-top clad body, but Billie was a man and no matter how good of a man he was proving himself to be, he was still a guy.

And, well…there were some aspects of a guy that would never change, no matter how genuine.

After hesitating for a few moments and mulling over the decision of whether or not to quickly grab any sort of shirt from my bedroom, I shook off my thoughts and unlocked the heavy front door to my aunt’s home. For a second I had begun to worry that I had made Billie wait too long and that rather than receiving a grin once finally opening the door I’d receive a scowl, however for what had to have been the umpteenth time since I had met Billie, I realized that I needed to stop assuming things.

As if Billie had known the precise moment that I was going to heave open the door to my aunt’s home, a genuine grin had already melted across his face and he began to stand upright from the slouched over position he had taken against the side of my aunt’s doorway. For the first time in three days, the butterflies that I seemed to fall victim to every time I saw that man began to awaken and flutter in my stomach. And although to say that I was sick of feeling nervous around Billie every time I saw him was probably the world’s largest understatement, I don’t believe I would have traded the feeling of butterflies I got every time I had any sort of contact with him for anything.

Despite the fact that I was unable to see Billie’s eyes behind the sunglasses that he wore, I could feel his gaze upon my face almost as if he was actually waiting for me to make eye contact with him. Once my eyes rose up from the white Misfits t-shirt and to his own clean-shaven face, they did just that. The genuine grin that had originally been on Billie’s face returned. “Hello gorgeous,” he greeted.

Up until that moment I wasn’t exactly sure as to what expression my face wore, however I do know that it had to have been ridiculous because as soon as Billie greeted me, he chuckled and stepped into the shade of my aunt’s home. As soon as he was close enough to me so that he could reach me, Billie outstretched his arms in front of himself and wrapped one around my waist while the other snaked around my back in what was a surprisingly comfortable hug.

And although I know that it had only been a mere three goddamn days since I had seen Billie, and that I had spent those three days worrying my ass off about him, it was that hug that truly made me realize that I had missed him like hell.

“I…er, hi,” I greeted awkwardly into his shoulder. I pressed my nose into the fabric of his white t-shirt and inhaled deeply. He was wearing a considerably less amount of cologne than he was the other night and if the fact that I wasn’t currently wrapped in his arms wasn’t enough to make me smile, the memory of how he seemed to have bathed in cologne that night was.

Billie chuckled as he pulled out of our embrace somewhat, however only enough so that he could see my face. He must have realized that I was having a hard time finding his eyes behind the dark lenses covering them because after doing his best to make eye contact with me once again, that genuine grin was back and he had taken his hand from my back to push his sunglasses into his tousled hair. And while I’m fully aware of the fact that I had seen Billie’s eyes multiple times prior to that early afternoon and that I had already been well aware of the fact that they were indeed a rather beautiful shade of green, I don’t believe that I had ever realized how beautiful of a green they were. Due to the fact that the sun was providing sunlight all around us despite the fact that we were hidden in the shade, Billie’s pupils had shrunken to what had to have been the minimal dilation, thus leaving his eyes to be two large irises of what had to have been the most beautiful shade of green that I had ever seen amongst any human, never mind a man.

I was brought back to reality upon the feeling of somewhat moist warmth being pressed to my cheek. It only took me a few seconds to realize that the source of that warmth had to have been Billie’s lips. And to be perfectly honest, as soon as I realized that the warmth was Billie’s lips, I found myself somewhat disappointed, no matter how childish it sounds, that he had kissed my cheek rather than my own lips. I had been desperate to re-live the feeling of his lips brushing my own all weekend, however I certainly wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move.

Billie laughed rather sweetly against my skin. “You look like you’ve seen a fuckin’ ghost, Roxy,” he pointed out with a highly amused chuckle. He pulled his face back to grin at me while my cheeks began to burn.

I giggled quietly as I shifted in Billie’s arms and although our eyes had disconnected by then, I sure as hell didn’t miss his eye’s dropping down to my chest as quickly and as subtly as possible. I didn’t miss the way he swallowed rather thickly after doing so, either. I shrugged it off for more of my own sake than his. If I were to call Billie out on glancing at my chest, I knew that it would end up with me somehow becoming more embarrassed than him and to be honest, it just wasn’t worth it.

I backed out of Billie’s arms that had slackened quite a bit around my body so that rather than hugging me he was more or less holding me and into the foyer of my aunt’s home. Without being verbally told to, Billie followed suit while also closing the door behind him. It was when I was leading him into the kitchen that was practically glowing due to the sunlight shining in through the French doors and all of the windows that he grabbed my hand and held it loosely with his own.

“Your aunt has a nice house,” Billie complimented as we entered the kitchen. “What does she do? Every time I talk to you, you tell me she’s not home.” He chuckled and turned his head to look at me. “Does she even live here?”

I hesitated as Billie awkwardly perched himself on a stool before me. It was as if he had wanted to sit down on one, yet he couldn’t be bothered to actually get his whole ass onto the seat of it so he settled for something in between. Truth was, I had no idea what the hell my aunt did. I knew she was rarely home and that every once in a while she had to go down to LA for whatever reasons, but that was as far as it went. Either way, she didn’t seem to mind all the time she spent with her occupation nor the traveling. “I don’t know,” I admitted lamely after realizing that Billie was waiting for an answer. Billie cocked an eyebrow while narrowing his eyes. And although I knew that he hadn’t verbally made one, he had a point. “She works a lot, though,” I pointed out while stating the obvious. I shrugged. “She goes down to LA a lot, too.”

Billie’s eyebrow stayed cocked. And while I had been waiting for him to fire more questions about me, such as why my aunt would want to live in Berkeley, which was a good six or seven hours out of LA, he did nothing of the sort. Instead he just hmm’d quietly as if he was contemplating an idea of his. I tugged on his hand as if to ask what he was hmming about and was mildly surprised when Billie answered. “Nothing,” he answered lightly. His lips were pulled back across his yellow teeth in a grin that reminded me so much of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. “So,” he started. His voice had regained its regular warmth and I was glad to hear it. He gently pulled my body even closer to his own awkwardly situated one and placed a kiss to my cheek again. “How was your weekend?” He asked.

I grinned at the feeling of his other arm taking its place back around my waist and without any hesitation or thought, I answered. “Good,” I admitted, though slowly. I certainly wasn’t about to tell him that I had just spent the whole weekend pining over him like a lovesick thirteen year old. Billie cocked an eyebrow in interest and waited silently for me to continue. “I spent some time with my aunt since she has weekends off,” I added with a shrug.

Billie laughed and wriggled his eyebrows. “Oh bonding time,” he teased. He wasn’t mocking me as he was so much the situation. After all, what teenager wanted to spend time with their family?

I giggled at Billie’s teasing and shifted in his tattooed arm. His eyes quickly drifted below my neck again. I rolled my eyes, but didn’t say a word about it. “No,” I murmured while shaking my head slowly. “It actually wasn’t that bad. She’s actually pretty laid back,” I stated. “We get along really well.”

Billie only hummed softly at my statement and shifted his arm around me. I dropped my eyes down to his face from his two-toned hair that I was becoming desperate to run my hands through and bit back a smile as his bright green irises caught my own. For a moment I found myself becoming lost in them and wondering if I had ever seen a man, or really any person at all with such a beautiful color of eyes, however I was snapped back into reality once I realized that they had become clouded over with rather obvious, mutual thoughts.

Thank god my aunt and I got along—and well, too.

Due to our situation, meaning the fact that not only did I live in Connecticut but was due to return there in a matter of a couple weeks while Billie would still live out here in California and we were only beginning to form some sort of relationship, I needed to be on my aunt’s good side. If I was on my aunt’s good side, which by now didn’t seem like too much of a responsibility, then there should have been absolutely no problem with asking my aunt to spend more time in California than originally planned with her—with him.

I knew damn well that all I'd have to do, if my aunt liked me, was shed a few tears over the thought of returning back to where I had just had my heart broken and I'd be set.

“So,” I started after a moment of silence. Billie’s eyes seemed to become actually focused on mine for the first time since they had connected a few minutes ago and he grinned toothily. The ridiculous one he received back from me was inevitable. “How was your weekend?” I asked.

Billie cocked his head to the side as if I had asked him a question that required quite a bit of thought rather than just how his weekend was. He then chuckled and shook his head. “Y’know,” he began through the same grin, “I never felt old until I had kids.” I giggled quietly as Billie placed a kiss upon my arm seeing as it was the closest part of my body to his lips. “I always think that, y’know, I’m only thirty one and that thirty one is still pretty young and a lot of my friends are only having kids now.” He paused. “But then…” he trailed off and sighed. “Then I get my kids for the weekend, and they’re like little fucking balls of energy.” I snorted.

Billie rolled his eyes. “Friday, they showed up at nine and were immediately looking for food and well…” he trailed off with a sheepish grin. I grinned and bit back a giggle at it and the information that Billie had already given me this morning about the food inside his house. “I told you about that. I don’t have food. I’m a thirty year old single guy in a band—I drink beer and eat chips and I’m fine. If I want more than that, I order pizza or some other shit that’ll give me a heart attack one day.” I whacked Billie’s arm and he giggled quietly at my silent anger. “I don’t have cereal and waffles and shit around the house anymore. My kids are little fucking eating machines—whatever I buy for them on the weekends is gone by Sunday night when I take them back to Adie.” Billie paused and shifted on his stool. I believe his pause was more for me than for him trying to recollect his memories of the weekend. Truth be told, I think that ever since my awful reaction at Rudy’s once Billie had told me about his kids to begin with was still fresh in his memory, thus resulting in him still being hesitant about his kids no matter how many times I could have told him how much I didn’t mind and in fact, loved the thought instead.

I rose my eyebrows as if to tell Billie to continue. And he did—with quite the smile, too.

“So Friday morning I took them to Denny’s and then the supermarket.” He rolled his eyes. “Of course they go right for the Oreos and shit and I have to say no and try to enforce the fucking lettuce and carrots on them—my oldest kid is eight, Roxy.” He sighed heavily. “We get up to the register after an hour or two of hell, and I’m putting shit on the conveyor belt that I don’t even fucking see get into the carriage. I can’t even fucking take it off and tell them to put it back because they’ll throw fucking temper tantrums and the guy has fucking rung up half of it and there's suddenly a fucking line behind me so I end up leaving the goddamn market with bags full of shit that I didn’t even know about.” He rolled his eyes again. “So I do the next best thing—I hide half the shit when we get home and tell them not to tell their mother because every time they do, she calls up and I get my ass handed to me because of it.” He rolled his eyes. “She tells me I should be enforcing rules and not trying to be the cool parent by going against them and feeding them shit—but whatever,” he muttered. “They’re kids. Let them eat whatever the fuck they want for now.”

I giggled quietly at the mental image of Billie being harassed by his two small children and then after finally giving into them, being yelled at by his ex-wife because of it.

Billie sighed loudly and lifted a hand to rub his jaw. He placed another kiss upon my arm and I grinned at the warmth of his lips. “Saturday,” Billie started slowly. He continued to rub his jaw as he began to reflect upon whatever had happened that weekend. He chuckled and shifted on his seat in what I assumed to be something he was about to tell me about. The arm that he had lifted from my waist not too long ago was back and pulling my body closer against his. “Saturday, Joey had a baseball game.” He paused as his lips curved upwards in a proud grin. “You should see him, Roxy,” he began to gush as only a parent would about their own child while shifting more on the wooden stool. His eyes lit up at the mention of his child's hobby. “I know he’s only eight, but he’s fucking great—he loves it, too. He gets so excited before a game.” He chuckled quietly and shook his head. After a moment, his eyes lifted and connected with my own. “I want to take you to one of his games, Roxy,” he admitted. For a moment he eyed me suspiciously, as if waiting for me to decline his offer or show any sign of wanting to.

I showed no sign of what he was obviously fearing, but instead smiled. “I’d love to,” I murmured after I realized that Billie truly wasn’t understanding how I worked yet. If Billie wanted me to spend time with and get to know the two boys that his life seemed to revolve around, there was absolutely no way I could have ever declined--even if the thought did make me nervous.

I was somewhat insulted that he thought, even if only for a second, that I would have.

Billie grinned up at me and placed yet another kiss upon my arm. “He’s great,” he repeated after a moment. He then laughed and shook his head. “After the game, Joey went to a friend’s house, so I took Jake to get ice cream since he gets all fuckin’ huffy if Joey leaves. He’s at the age where he wants to follow Joey everywhere and Joey gets angry and tries to get away.” I giggled and this time, Billie did, also. “He was fucking wired when we got home. He wouldn’t stop pissing and moaning until we went swimming since I’ve got a pool.” Billie shrugged. “He’s a kid, so he’s like a fucking fish. It could be thirty fuckin’ degrees out and he’d still want to go swimming.” He sighed and lifted his free hand to run through his hair again. I bit back a grin at the multiple angles his hair stuck upwards at afterwards. “After we went swimming he pretty much passed out on me on the couch with the Disney channel on, so I sat watching some cartoon called Kim Possible for like five hours.” He scowled for a moment while I giggled. While Billie was still obviously immature, I doubted the fact that he was immature enough to enjoy a cartoon on Disney for five straight hours. I was somewhat surprised, however, when his lips were pulled into a smirk. He reached out, and without so much as a second though or any sign of any sort of hesitation, slid a hand through my red hair wordlessly. In return, my eyes widening quite a bit in surprise. I had been in silent turmoil over wanting to run a hand through Billie’s disheveled hair desperately for days, yet he had shown absolutely no sign of any thought or concern at all when reaching out and running one through mine.

I suppose that really did panic too much for my own good—he was, once again, absolutely right.

“The only good thing about that show was that Kim had red hair, so I guess I was entertained for a little while.” Billie chuckled and slid his ass off of the stool so that he was standing before me while continuing to thread his fingers throughout my hair. He placed a kiss upon the top of my head.

It didn’t take me long to realize what he was referring to, and when I did I giggled quietly. Billie took the opportunity to quickly glance at my chest and like I had the other few times, I continued to ignore it. “I don’t know if I should be insulted or not that you spent five hours on Saturday comparing me to a Disney cartoon character,” I teased. Truth was, it was nice to know that I had crossed Billie’s mind at least once this past weekend, even if was motivated by a cartoon.

Billie laughed loudly and pressed his nose to my temple. “Don’t worry,” he murmured. “You’re much hotter.” As if the sickening feeling of my stomach bottoming out and falling into my legs along with all of my butterflies wasn’t enough of a reaction from my body, the familiar horrible burning sensation returned to my cheeks and I found myself fighting helplessly against a blush. I know that being called hot by a man was slightly degrading and that any female would rather be called beautiful or gorgeous, but either way I was attractive to Billie, and that thought alone was enough to flatter me. Billie snorted at my reaction and shook his head, though didn’t call me out as he usually had. “She tried too hard to be bad ass and I don’t know what the fuck she was wearing, but her boobs were fucking triangles.”

My eyebrows shot upwards in shock while a snort of laughter escaped my lips at the bluntness of Billie. Once he caught sight of the look of surprise on my face, Billie giggled and buried his nose into the top of my head. “She’s a cartoon, Billie,” I stated after a moment. Rather than receiving a verbal answer, Billie only continued to laugh into my hair. “So that’s what you do on weekends?” I teased. Billie picked his face from my hair and took a small step backwards so that he could see my face. He cocked an eyebrow and waited for me to continue. “You use the excuse of your kids to sit and watch Disney?”

Billie chuckled. He lifted his other tattooed hand and placed it on the base of my neck as he continued to play with my hair in content. “You don’t even know the half of it, Roxy,” he mumbled through a coy grin. “Saturday I fuckin sat and watched Kim Possible save the day over and over and over again with a naked mole rat and as if that wasn’t enough, on Sunday Jake sat and pleaded with me to take them to see Finding Nemo.” I giggled at his expression and the fact that it was quite evident that Billie hadn’t been nearly as thrilled as his youngest son was to see the movie. He rolled his eyes. “Joey tried to be all cool about it and, y’know, he just nodded and said sure when I asked if seeing it was alright with him like he was agreeing as a favor, but…” Billie trailed off. He snorted loudly and shook his head while I cocked an eyebrow. After a moment he regained his composure, however not completely for a giggle or two still emitted from his lips as he began to speak. “He was real pissed when I fell asleep during the middle of it.”

I heard myself gasp as Billie failed to hold himself together at the memory of what had happened the day before. “Oh, Billie,” I crooned. “That’s horrible—my father used to do that to me when I was younger. It got me so angry.”

For a moment a small part of me began to fear that comparing Billie to my father would create an awkward silence or tension, however Billie instead giggled and nodded. “He was so mad, Roxy.” Despite the fact that he was talking about his own son being infuriated with him, Billie was still unable to choke back his laughter. He lifted the hand that had been resting on the base of my neck to rub his face tiredly and then his eyes as snorts of laughter still emitted from his grinning lips. “He, uh—he told me that I was snoring and people were looking at us.” His laughter died a bit as he leant against me to bury his nose back into my hair. “I had to bribe him after for forgiveness.” He giggled again. “He was so mad.”

“Well, that’s what you get for falling asleep when you take your kids to see a movie,” I teased.

Billie pulled back and grinned down at me. “It was Finding Nemo, Roxy,” he stated incredulously—as if it was why it was alright for him to have fallen asleep. From the look he was giving me and the tone of his voice, I believe that he was waiting for me to agree with him to some extent, even if I was only a teenager. “I mean, it was cute and shit, but…I don’t get off to talking fish and sea animals like I used to,” he joked. I snorted while he grinned.

“You just need to channel your inner-youth, that’s all,” I joked while sliding an arm around the back of Billie’s torso and playing with the fabric of his t-shirt. He laughed in response and kissed my forehead.

“That’s what I have kids for,” he murmured against me. There was no reason to verbally respond to Billie’s attempt of an excuse, and so I decided to just smile and press a kiss to his warm cheek. While I had wanted so desperately to kiss his lips for the first time since Thursday evening, I wasn’t about to go make a fool of myself by attempting to do so`. While Billie had been pressing kisses to different areas of my face and hair since he had arrived only fifteen or so minutes ago, he seemed to have been doing a pretty damn good job at avoiding that certain region. And although I had no idea what it could have been, I figured that there was some sort of reason for it.

Perhaps his conscious had caught up to him—kind of.

Despite the fact that I was almost positive that our age difference was now nothing but a mere fact that had been pushed to the backs of both of our minds, I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t mildly surprised that Billie’s conscious hadn’t made that mere fact a very frequent thought of his. Then again, I also wasn’t complaining. In fact, I suppose a part of me was still worried that the fact that I was still a teenager would become very real to Billie very soon.

And well, needless to say, there'd probably be a change of heart with our current situation.

“Let’s go outside,” Billie suggested. I jerked my head slightly as if to shake off my thoughts and for the first time in a few minutes, my eyes connected with Billie’s ones again. Billie cocked an eyebrow in question at where my mind had managed to drift off to during the small time period of what had to have been a mere couple of minutes, however brushed it off with a chuckle and a kiss to my nose. I giggled quietly at the feeling of his lips upon my nose and disconnected our eyes once I felt my cheeks begin to burn a bit. I knew damn well that he’d notice my blush, considering he had every other time, but I didn’t currently feel like seeing the amusement in his eyes from it.

Billie caught my attention once again by removing the hand that had been idly running through my hair and taking up my own hand with it instead. My eyebrows rose in curiosity as I watched him press the palm of his hand against my own and what probably had to be the most ridiculous grin melted across my face as his fingers slid between mine so that they were entwined. Without so much as another word, Billie gently tugged on my hand as if to tell me to go with him, and without so much as a second thought, I did.
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update soon. i promise you.