Roxanne
023.
“So,” Billie started while slowly lifting himself onto his elbows. I looked up at him lazily from where my head had been currently resting on his lap. A grin spread across his lips. “Since that I’ve been bombarded with questions all of today and you’ve found out all of my deepest, darkest secrets, it’s my turn to find out yours.”
I laughed. If Billie had truly been serious, then he was going to be incredibly disappointed. I was a boring eighteen year old girl. The worst I had ever done was skip school to go to a concert in Central Park earlier that year. “Okay, well then give me all you’ve got.”
Billie had, after we had escaped the studio, decided to show me his backyard. Though it was small, it was absolutely gorgeous. He had had a large built in pool, surrounded by stone with a small little pool house next to it. It hadn’t been much of a house, but rather a changing area with it own small fireplace I suppose, but either way it was adorable and perfect for two people to fit in.
We had ended up sitting by Billie’s pool after he had shown me his beautiful backyard and the clouds had started to break up and after shifting multiple times, I had ended up lying down next to him and my head had ended up in his lap with his fingers running through my hair. While I’ll admit that I had been tense when we shifted into such a position, my body has started to settle more as the day went on and I accepted that this hadn’t been Billie making a move on me.
Billie chuckled as he continued to slide fingers throughout my hair. “I’m sure there’s some deep, dark secret that you’re keeping from me,” Billie accused. The playful grin he gave after though showed that he wasn’t actually accusing me.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I don’t, though,” I stated with a huff. “I’m serious, Billie. I’m some boring eighteen year old from Connecticut.”
Billie rolled his eyes back at me. “You’re a spoiled little eighteen year old. I don’t believe for a second that you’re boring.”
I scoffed loudly at Billie and whacked his legs next to me. “You keep going on about how spoiled I am, but your kids are going to be spoiled, too, pot.”
Billie’s lips pursed as he took a moment to understand what I had called him. When he realized that I had been referring to the saying the pot calling the kettle black, he laughed. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I’m just saying, it’s usually the little rich ones that are the craziest.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t drink. The craziest thing I’ve ever done was stolen a shirt from Saks Fifth Avenue.” I giggled quietly to myself. “I cried when I got outside and it’s still in my closet. I refuse to wear it because I think it’s tainted.”
Billie snorted loudly at my story and lifted the hand that hadn’t been running through my hair, but holding one of my own to place a kiss against my wrist. “You really are a sad little girl.” I only grinned up at him as he began to play with my hand. “Why are you so opposed to drinking?” He asked.
I frowned. “I don’t mind when other people do, unless they get sloppy, but I just don’t like it. I don’t like hangovers. I can’t even be around throw up. I try to crawl out of my own skin when I have the flu, why would I want to do it on a weekend basis?” I shuddered at the thought of all of the parties and probably the gallons of throw up I had seen in my time. “It’s disgusting. Bryan threw up on me once at a party and I didn’t talk to him for a week.”
Billie stared down at me with a cocked eyebrow for a moment and I was about to ask him what his problem was, when he had burst into a fit of laughter. I scowled up at him and turned to focus my eyes upon his beautiful pool while I felt my cheeks begin to burn. There really wasn’t anything fun about being laughed at.
Billie’s laughter died down to short snorts of giggles and he gently slid both of his hands between my body and his lap to tug me upwards so that I was seated next to him. I still managed to avoid eye contact despite the fact that he was well aware that I was doing so. Billie slid a hand up the back of my head and gently pushed it forward so that our lips had connected. If he wanted a forgiving kiss, then he was going to have to do better than that.
“I’m sorry for laughing at you,” he cooed. Had I not seen that playful smirk upon his lips I probably would have believed him. “Oh come on, Roxy. You’re so fucking adorable. I mean, nobody likes throw up, but I was half expecting you to cry there.” I scowled at him and he giggled. He turned his body so that he was then facing me and pulled me into his chest. He was lucky, because if I hadn’t become so infatuated with him and unable to stop myself from melting upon contact with him, I would have fought a lot more. “So you admit that you were hungover once,” Billie stated. I cocked an eyebrow and looked up at him.
I rolled my eyes. “Why are you so infatuated with my drinking history?” I asked.
Billie cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you so infatuated with my tattoos?” He countered.
I frowned. “Touché.”
“I just find it hard to believe that you’re not a partier. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I was—am,” he admitted. “You’re the only girl I have ever been with that seems to have no interest in any of that, so I’m just a little curious. That’s all.”
“I just had a really bad experience with drinking,” I admitted. Billie cocked an eyebrow. “It was probably the second time I ever drank, and I got really, really drunk. We were at a cast party after a play. I don’t remember the night at all, and I just know that I woke up the next morning naked in my friends bed, thankfully with Bryan next to me. He had apparently kept watch of me all night long since he saw me getting pretty intoxicated. And it just scared me a lot, because if he hadn’t been such a good guy then I could have ended up in a lot of trouble.”
Billie smiled sympathetically at me and gingerly rubbed my shoulder. “Far enough,” he agreed. “I could see why that’d scare you. It’s happened to me a few times,” he admitted with a hint of a chuckle. “Got me into a lot of trouble. But,” he shrugged, “life goes on.” He lifted a hand to run through his hair. “Cast party, you said?” He asked. I nodded and his eyes lit up. “That’s right, you said you were in your schools plays.” Truth be told, I was absolutely baffled that Billie had remembered something so petty. While I hung on every word that he had said, in no way had I expected him to do the same.
“I was,” I agreed with a nod of my head. He looked far too excited for something so petty.
“So you like to act, then?” He asked.
“I do,” I agreed. I shrugged. “But I mean, I’m not obsessed with it. I just do it for fun. Sports were never really my thing, so I decided to audition for the school play. We just did Beauty and the Beast this past year.”
Billie grinned at me. “And who did you play?” He asked.
“Belle,” I admitted quietly. I shouldn’t have been embarrassed considering that it actually took work to get the lead in school plays, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like a five year old compared to Billie.
Billie’s eyes lit up as he realized what playing Belle meant. I felt my stomach twist. He looked far too excited. A part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he was only acting this excited to get back at me for how I had reacted earlier. “You were the lead?” He asked.
“I was,” I admitted.
Billie’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing, Roxanne,” he gasped. He sounded almost as ridiculous as I had when I had been gushing about his singing. Only, he was acting even more ridiculous than I had because being the lead in a school play was nothing compared to the amount of talent he had. For christsakes, I was the lead in a high school play. Not Julliard. “How often does your school do plays?” He asked.
“About once or twice a year. There’s a smaller one in the fall and usually the big Spring play. They’re always fun.”
“Could I see one?” He asked coyly. “I mean, not right now, obviously, but y’know, in the fall or the spring—whichever one you’re in…”
I felt my heart skip quite a few beats and my throat close up a bit as Billie’s words began to become clear to me. He was asking if it was alright for him to attend one of my high school plays later that fall or even next spring. Billie was making plans for us as far as about a year away.
He had most definitely just requested to go to one of my school plays to flatter me. Nothing more. While he may have actually been interested, I knew that there was almost no way in hell that he was serious about going to a play that was so far away. By next May, he would probably be with a girl that was at least of drinking age and laughing at the thought of my ridiculous school play.
His words had still meant a lot, though.
“I, uh, uh of—of course,” I spluttered. A warm grin melted over Billie’s lips. “I mean, I probably won’t get the lead again, but yeah, of course you can. They’re open to anyone. I can send you a ticket when the time comes around.”
Billie chuckled at my reaction and placed a warm kiss against my lips. I welcomed them.
“You’re drop dead gorgeous, you cook, you bake, you’re the lead of your schools play and you’re cleaner than I was the day that I was born,” Billie stated with a grin pulling the corner of his lips, “and yet you were going on about how perfect I am earlier?” A soft chuckle escaped Billie’s lips as he cupped my chin and pulled my face against his own to kiss me once again. “The only problem with you is that you’re slightly insane and completely dillusional.”
My eyes widened in surprise at Billie’s backhanded compliment and I spluttered a few giggles. “I, I’m—I’m not anything special,” I mumbled awkwardly with a shrug.
Billie rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up.” My mouth dropped open in shock at Billie, however before I could gasp, his lips had placed themselves upon my own and he was pulling my body against his.
I slid into Billie’s lap rather easily and within only a matter of seconds were my hands tangled within his hair my legs were wrapped around his waist. I gasped loudly as he accidently bit down onto my bottom lip and between harsh kisses, Billie managed to mutter our a muffled sorry.
His lips hadn’t stayed on my own for too much longer. In fact, only few minutes after we seemed to pick up where we had left off only 24 hours ago, Billie had taken his lips from my own and had placed them onto my jaw and then various spots upon my neck. Almost instantly I had tilted my head the opposite way in order to expose more and allow easier access to the skin that Billie was now focused upon.
I applied more pressure to the back of Billie’s head, urging him to continue what he was doing. I wanted—needed more of him. The feeling of Billie’s body pressed up against my own along with the feeling of the bruises he was leaving on my neck wasn’t enough. Nothing would actually be enough for me. I wanted to inside of the man, and even that probably wouldn’t have satisfied me.
Billie’s hands slid up and back from where they had placed themselves upon my back so that they were now cupping the base of my neck. They slowly began to move south from the base of my neck to my chest, where the ghosted over until they finally placed themselves on my waist. I had thought that they were set until they began to slide down over my thighs to the opening of my dress, which was much more pronounced due to the fact that my legs had been wrapped around his waist. As soon as I felt his hand thumb at the fabric and begin to slid underneath, however, I pushed it away.
“Sorry,” he gasped.
I shook my head quickly and pushed a blond curl from hanging over his eyes. A wolfish grin appeared on his lips and in one swift movement, he had lifted me from his lap and had gently lied me down next to the pool. He slid his legs on either side of my body so that he was straddling me and without missing a beat, his lips had attached themselves back onto my neck and were beginning, as his hands had, to move south.
His mouth placed itself and sucked gently on my collar bone, and then down to what had to have been half of an inch above where my dress sat on my chest. I gasped at the sensation of his warm lips against skin that was just so close to my breast. I expected Billie to take the plunge and pull the sweetheart neckline of my dress down, however he placed another kiss just to the side of the former one. It was when he reached the middle of my cleavage, where the sweetheart neckline of my dress dipped the most, that his lips drifted southward.
I gasped loudly as his teeth grazed my skin. However the only difference between this gasp and the many others that had left my lips within the last few minutes was the fact that this one had been followed by a nauseas feeling in my stomach.
This wasn’t me.
I had been with Bryan Bates about four years before we had moved any farther than making out, and there I was, lying on the side of Billie’s pool, practically allowing him to remove my top like a complete whore when I had just known him a little over a week.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to Billie and that I hadn’t wanted him to kiss me everywhere that he had, because lord knows that that certainly wasn’t the case—but Billie was the second guy in my entire life that I had ever kissed. It had taken me years to sleep with Bryan Bates and while I knew that it obviously wouldn’t take Billie and I nearly as long (that is, if we ever actually did), I certainly wasn’t ready to spread my legs for him now.
This was too fast. This was too far too fast. This was not me.
I pushed Billie off of me rather harshly, much more harshly than I had meant to, however as soon as he was off of me, I sat up and turned to face away from him. I hastily wiped at the few tears that had swelled up in my eyes with one hand as I adjusted my dress with the other. I couldn’t let him see me cry. It had been bad enough yesterday when he had seen me crying when my aunt had been yelling at us.
“Roxy?” Billie called desperately as soon as he became aware of his surroundings. “Shit, did I hurt you? I’m sorry, sometimes I get carried—holy shit, are you crying?”
I had buried my head far into my hands and refused to allow Billie to see me in all of my shame. I couldn’t believe that I was crying at the moment. There had been absolutely no reason for me to be crying. Billie had done absolutely nothing wrong—I had done nothing wrong. What Billie and I had been doing was normal. We were two young people making out and progressing in our relationship. I enjoyed it.
In one swift movement Billie had scooped me into his arms and pulled me against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I sobbed. Despite how furiously I wiped at the tears, they refused to disappear.
“Why are you sorry? Why are you crying? Oh shit, Roxy, are you okay?”
I shook my head vigorously as I continued to angrily wipe at my eyes. “It’s not you, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry.”
Billie twisted me around in his arms so that I was forced to face him. He pushed my hands away from my eyes so that he could take my place in wiping them. Billie looked paler than a ghost, yet just as horrified as if he had seen one himself. While I had only known Billie for a little over a week, it was safe to say that I had never seen him look so frightened.
“What happened?” He asked once my pathetic sobs had faded.
“I—I don’t know,” I lied. “I’m sorry. I—I just got scared. This, this just isn’t me,” I babbled while motioning between Billie and I.
Billie cocked an eyebrow and his terrified expression turned to one of concern and confusion. “What isn’t you?” He asked slowly.
“I just, I’m not used to this,” I blubbered. “You’re—you’re only the second guy I’ve ever kissed. I’m not used to this with anyone else. I’ve never moved this fast with anyone. Bryan and I, we started dating when we were eleven so it took us years to do this.” I looked up at Billie through tearful eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just scared.”
Almost at once did a warm smile melt across Billie’s lips. He pulled me against his chest and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “Oh shit, Roxy. I thought I hurt you.” He gently pushed me away so that he could see my face. “I’m sorry, Roxy. I forget just how young you are.” He shook his head slowly. “You need to tell me when you’re uncomfortable, darling.”
I shook my head slowly. “I didn’t realize I was until I pushed you away. I just—I’m not used to this. I don’t know what moving too fast is.”
Billie smiled down at me and pulled me in to brush an adoring kiss against my lips. “It’s okay, Roxy.” Another kiss.
“I’m so sorry,” I continued to apologize. I started to stand up from where we had sat together in his backyard and started towards the beautiful vine-covered door that lead back into his kitchen. “I should just go.”
“What?” Billie spluttered. He stood up also and was hot on my heels. “What are you going on about? Shit, Roxanne. Have you been listening to me at all? I understand that you’re scared, Roxy. Moving on is scary. You’ve been with Bryan since you can remember.” He pulled my body into his arms. “Come on. Let’s go inside and let me order us a pizza or chinese.”
I felt my heart skip a beat at Billie’s words. He was so accepting and so much less of an asshole than I seemed to have subconsciously expected. I would have done almost anything for my aunt to have seen how Billie was currently treating me.
I followed Billie back inside of his beautiful castle and slid into one of the seats at the kitchen island. “Can I use your bathroom?” I asked after a minute or so of watching Billie search through drawers for what I assumed was a menu.
“Yeah,” Billie answered while digging through a stack of papers. “Down the hall, to the left.”
I slid off of the stool and followed his directions, surely enough, to the bathroom that Billie had been able to decorate that he had shown me before. I flicked on the light and stepped over to the mirror to adjust my hair and makeup, seeing as both were a mess from earlier.
I ran a hand through my red hair and pulled it to one shoulder. As soon as I did though, however, I gasped loudly and felt my heart drop into my stomach. Lining various spots of my neck had been about three or four purple bruises. While I had thought that it had felt like Billie had been leaving me hickies, I had never actually thought that he was, or what in the world I would tell my aunt.
She was going to be able to call complete bullshit on whatever I told her I had been doing that day if it was anything other than seeing Billie.
I quickly exited the bathroom and entered the foyer where my bag had been placed earlier that afternoon and took out a bottle of foundation that I had thankfully carried around with me at all times. I quickly applied it onto my neck and after fidgeting with my hair for a good few minutes, I made my way back into the kitchen.
“Chinese or pizza?” Billie asked once I reentered the kitchen. I slid back onto the chair that I had been seated on before.
I smiled to myself as I watched Billie stare down at the two menus that were placed on the island in front of him. I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
+++
“Alright,” Billie started while wheeling around on the balls of his feet to face me. I had serious déjà vu from our conversation outside of his studio earlier that afternoon. “I didn’t clean in here. I rarely clean in here. I’m sure your room is picture fucking perfect like you are, but mine isn’t. Don’t judge me.”
Billie had ended up ordering chinese food for the two of us, and despite the clusterfuck of a day we had had, we ended up eating our dinner on his patio with Rocky in fantastic moods.
After we had eaten dinner and the sun had begun to set, Billie had lead both Rocky and I back inside and after grabbing a beer for himself and a bottle of water for me, he had taken me by my hand and had lead me upstairs to the one room he had neglected to show me before.
I giggled quietly at how defensive Billie was over the mess in his room. He had been acting as if there was absolutely no possibility for me to have ever seen a dirtier home in my life when in reality, I had seen much, much worse. Throughout the 7 years I had been dating Bryan, I believe that his room had been clean once, maybe twice.
“I promise not to judge you on anything I see in here, unless it’s ludicrous.”
Billie chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll take my chances. Alright, come on.” He twisted open the door handle and pushed open the door with the side of his foot so that he didn’t have to balance the bottle of beer and my glass of water in one.
I followed Billie up a few stairs that the door had lead to and into by far the largest room in the house. Much like the other rooms in the home, Billie’s bedroom had surprised me, also. I wasn’t sure exactly why, considering I had accepted that the interior of Billie’s home hadn’t matched the outside or his “punk rock” attitude, but the fact that the walls of Billie’s bedroom were a bright creamed color rather than a darker tone had blindsided me.
The cream colored walls of Billie’s bedroom were currently lit up by a beautiful black chandelier that hung from the ceiling over a king sized bed decorated with black and white sheets and pillows that had been tossed around the unmade bed. On the opposite side of the room from the bed, placed so that Billie could watch it while lying in bed I assumed, was perhaps one of the largest televisions I had ever seen. Strewn across the oak floors that made up the bedroom were various articles of clothing and a few beer bottles. For a bachelor pad, it didn’t look half bad.
Billie crossed his bedroom to a pair of French doors that I hadn’t even noticed. I cocked an eyebrow in curiosity as to why Billie had had to large French doors in his bedroom, however all of my questions had been answered as soon as he opened them and stepped out onto an adorable little balcony that from what I could see, had two gray Adirondack chairs placed on it. I felt my heart quiver at the adorable site ahead of me along with the thought that Billie had actually planned to sit on his balcony with me that evening all day long.
“This is so adorable,” I gasped as I stepped onto the small balcony.
Billie chuckled and placed the beverages onto the side of the balcony. “Thanks. It’s cute. When I’m not sitting in my studio drunk, I’m usually sitting out here.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he dipped his head bashfully. “I’m glad it’s a clear night, or I’d feel like a dipshit with my rant earlier.”
I cocked an eyebrow and my head to the side slightly in confusion as to what Billie was talking about, however as soon as the words left his mouth, Billie turned to look out over the balcony at the breathtaking view that I had somehow managed to miss. “Oh my god,” I gasped. Billie stepped over to the side of the balcony and I followed suit with my hand placed over my mouth. What was in front of me was perhaps the most beautiful view that I had ever seen within the entirety of my life. I could have spent the rest of my life attempting to describe how beautiful the view from Billie’s balcony was, however I genuinely believe that I never would have been able to do it justice.
Below us was the rest of Piedmont and the homes surrounding Billie’s, perhaps even my aunt’s considering how close to him she lived. And while looking down at the rest of the homes surrounding Billie’s was beautiful enough, the sight of the bridge that connected us to San Francisco and the actual city of San Francisco itself was what left me breathless. From Billie’s bedroom I could see almost the entire city of San Francisco.
“I am so jealous,” I whispered as my eyes ghosted over the city in front of us. “Oh my god, you wake up to this every morning?” I asked while glancing at Billie from the side of my eyes.
Billie chuckled. “I do,” he admitted while nodding. “Maybe if you stayed over a night or two, you could wake up to it, too.” He grinned and winked at me. I felt my cheeks burn profusely and my breath get caught in my throat. Billie certainly hadn’t missed any opportunity to hit on me that day, not that I could actually complain. “I’ve gotten pretty used to it, but I figured you’d get a kick out of it. It’s much prettier at night, so that’s why I saved this for last. One last effort at wiping you off of your feet.”
I continued to blush profusely. What was baffling to me was the fact that Billie seemed to actually think that he had to wipe me off of my feet. Hadn’t he realized that from the moment he had agreed to help me on the plane I had been infatuated with him? I was borderline obsessed with the man and he seemed to actually be trying to win my affection.
“Well, this uh, this may have done the trick,” I admitted while staring out over the bay. I sighed loudly. “Wow. I could totally get used to this view.”
Billie laughed softly and after taking his bottle of beer, took a seat back in the Adirondack chair that was placed in back of him. After a moment or two I went to take a seat in the one to the right of his, however Billie had been quick to catch my arm and pulled me down into his lap. With an embarrassing surprised squeal I fell back onto his body.
“I want to go to San Francisco so bad,” I admitted dreamily while looking out over the bay. Way off in the distance, barely visible at all, I could have sworn that I could see the Golden Gate bridge.
“So why don’t you?” Billie asked lazily while taking a sip of his beer. He shifted and stretched back in the chair underneath me so that his small legs were stretched out in front of us and his head rested comfortably against the back of the chair. I took one last look at the beautiful city that sat before me before relaxing my body back against Billie’s.
“I live in Connecticut,” I pointed out. “It’s not exactly a day trip for me. I was considering coming a couple years ago for spring break with Sadie, her boyfriend and Bryan, and we would have stayed with my aunt, but it didn’t work out.”
“Shame,” Billie murmured. I looked up at him and was rather surprised when I noticed that his eyes had been closed. I felt my heat quiver at the sight of Billie’s sleepy expression and slowly slid one of my arms around his thin waist. His eyes opened briefly at that and looked down to meet my own. We both smiled at each other and then his eyes were closed again. I shifted in his lap so that I could rest my head on his shoulder and before doing so, placed a kiss upon his lips.
“Do you go often?” I asked while looking back at the city once again.
“I do,” Billie stated. He chuckled. “Why don't you just ask me, Roxy?” He asked.
I cocked an eyebrow and lifted my head from his shoulder. Almost immediately he lifted the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his bottle of beer to attempt to push it back down. “Excuse me?” I asked awkwardly.
A grin pulled at the side of Billie’s lips and another chuckle left them. His beautiful eyes opened once again and connected with my own. “C’mon, Roxy. You’re sitting here gazing dreamingly at San Francisco, acting as if you you’re not fifteen minutes from it and you don’t have your own personal tour guide of California sitting beneath you. You could ask me to take you down to fuckin’ Los Angeles and you know I’d jump to do it. Just name the day that you want to go, and I’ll take you.”
My eyes widened at Billie’s words. Truth be told, as ridiculous as it sounds, I hadn’t even considered asking Billie to take me to San Francisco. It wasn’t Billie’s job to drive me around California, and I felt bad even asking him. Bringing me to San Francisco required him spending money on me, and while he seemed to jump at the opportunity, I didn’t want him to think of me as just using him.
“You would take me?” I asked Billie awkwardly.
Billie rolled his eyes. “You’re kidding me, right? Roxy, I’d be insulted if you didn’t ask me to take you. Name the day and I’ll be more than happy to take you.”
I bit down my bottom lip in excitement at the fact that I was almost guaranteed to see Billie once again after our day together was over. While I suppose I had always known that I would see Billie after I left that evening, the actual promise of it made butterflies flutter in my stomach.
“What about tomorrow?” I asked. I wasn’t serious, I didn’t actually expect him to take me the very next morning.
“Alright,” Billie agreed. He laughed when he saw my eyes widen. “I don’t know why you’re expecting me to say no, Roxy. Isn’t it obvious that I want to spend as much time with you while you’re here as possible?”
“I, uh, yeah, I guess,” I agreed awkwardly. “But what about your band? Don’t you have to see them sometime?”
Billie waved a hand dismissively at me. “They can wait. Like I’ve said. We’re not getting anywhere at the time. None of us are agreeing on anything. I don’t know what the fuck they expect from me. I just went through a goddamn divorce, obviously this isn’t going to be some of my best material.”
I frowned at the obvious problems Billie and his friends were going through at the time and despite how little I knew about Billie’s life, nonetheless his music, I wanted so desperately to be able to help him. “Why won’t you write anything about your divorce?” I asked awkwardly. I knew damn well that I was venturing into dangerous waters. “I mean, if music is a way to express yourself--,”
“Because it makes me look and feel stupid as fuck,” Billie snapped. My eyes widened in surprise at his tone. “I’m not doing that to myself. I’m not doing that to Adrienne and I’m sure as hell not doing that to my kids. I’m not going to have my kids be fourteen or fifteen and be listening to dads heartbroken songs about their mother.” I nodded slowly. He most definitely had had a fantastic point. He shrugged once again. “And I’m getting over it. I’m not sitting up all night wondering what I did wrong anymore, or going on binges because I can’t cope with what’s going on. I feel good again, and writing about it will just bring me down. I’d rather focus on other things in my life.” His eyes lifted to meet my own and a coy smile appeared on his lips. I felt my heart skip a beat and immediately adverted my eyes.
“Could I give you a suggestion?” I asked quietly while twisting a ring that sat on my ring finger. Billie hummed mhmmm in response. “I, uhm, well, why don’t you, er, why don’t you write about him?” I asked.
Billie cocked an eyebrow. “Who?” He asked rather bluntly. At once I regretted my decision. I really was stupid. I was just beginning to get to know Billie, and there I was, suggesting writing material to him as if I had known him for his entire life. I was being stupid.
“No one,” I murmured quietly while focusing my eyes upon the beer bottle that was still being clutched in Billie’s hands. I felt like his friends that had been pushing him for material.
“My dad?” Billie asked. He hadn’t sounded nearly as offended as I had expected him to, but rather baffled. He was probably baffled that I had actually had the balls to recommend something so gutsy.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized automatically. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my place. That’s a very personal matter. I’m sorry.” I sounded ridiculous with the way that I was stumbling over my words.
“Roxy, Roxy, calm down, hey, hey calm down,” Billie cooed. He sat up from his relaxed position in the chair underneath me and gently pulled my body into his chest. “I’m not angry. You just caught me off guard. I don’t know why I don’t write about him—it’s just a painful memory that I try to block out, so I’ve never really considered it. I’ve written a few lines about him, but nothing ever came from them.” He placed two fingers underneath my chin and pushed my face up to look at him so that he could brush a kiss over my lips. “I know you’re just trying to help me, and I appreciate it.”
“It still wasn’t my place, and I’m sorry.”
Billie laughed quietly and placed another kiss upon my lips. “You’re helping me a lot, Roxy. You really are. I’ve told you. You’re the only rational one in the bay area anymore, it seems. I’m not sure if I’ll really follow through, because I’m a stubborn ass, but I appreciate everything you have to say.” Another kiss. “You’re my last piece of sanity.”
I wanted so desperately to respond to Billie, and I probably would have, had Matthew Bellamy’s voice not cut me off. At the realization that my phone was going off, I gasped loudly and pulled it from the place in my bra that I had tucked it before. Billie snorted loudly while I felt myself blush in embarrassment. All the color that had just flooded to my cheeks had drained rather quickly, however, once I saw the name that was displayed upon the screen.
“Shit,” I hissed as I hopped off of Billie’s lap and quickly darted into his room. I lifted my hand to my hair and ran it through hastily as I tried to figure out what to do. Billie, hot on my heels, stood up quickly and was immediately looking over my shoulder at the name that had caused my sudden anxiety. A deep frown formed over his face.
“Oh,” he muttered lamely. “You should, uh, you should probably get that?” He was most definitely giving me advice, however he seemed to be questioning it himself.
I sighed heavily and nodded slowly while pressing the button to accept the call. “Hello?” I answered quietly. I placed my finger over my lips to tell Billie to be quiet. He nodded and in the meantime, grabbed a pack of Marlboro’s that I hadn’t noticed before from the dresser in his bedroom and headed back outside to light it up. Despite the fact that I had always tasted cigarettes while kissing Billie, I was still mildly surprised to see that he actually smoked. I would have been lying if I had said that it hadn’t turned me off a bit.
“Roxanne?” My aunt called into the phone. She sounded friendly enough, however I still winced.
“Hi Aunt Jen,” I greeted awkwardly. I stepped back onto the balcony because despite the fact that the smell of cigarettes disgusted me, I couldn’t find it within me to part myself from Billie.
“Where are you?” My aunt asked. I mentally scolded myself at the fact that I hadn’t even considered what time it had been. I should have left Billie’s at least an hour ago. “I just got home and I was hoping I could talk to you.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized lamely. “I, uh, I was down so I decided to go out and,” I paused momentarily and looked to Billie for help as to what to say to my aunt. Billie only stared back at me with wide eyes and exhaled smoke from his mouth while shrugging. I stuck my tongue out at him. “I ended up going to the movies,” I lied.
“Oh?” My aunt asked. I knew damn well that she didn’t believe me. And even if she had, the hickies that Billie had left all over my neck earlier certainly would persuade her otherwise. “What are you seeing?” She asked.
“Finding Nemo,” I blurted. Billie looked amused as he took another drag of his cigarette and I swatted at his arm. “I needed a feel good, pick me up movie and that seemed the perfect one to do it.”
“Oh, that’s cute,” my aunt stated. “When is it over? Do you know when you’ll be home? I’d really love to talk to you, Roxanne. I’m sorry about how yesterday happened. I should have let you talk. I know you’re going through a difficult time in your life, and I wasn’t being sensitive. I’m sorry.”
To say I was surprised was most definitely and understatement to say in the least. My aunt had seemed so much more rational than she had 24 hours ago, and perhaps talking to her wouldn’t have been as horrible as I had expected. “Thank you, Aunt Jen,” I thanked. “I—I, I appreciate it. The movie just started, so I’ll be home when it’s over, is that okay?”
“Okay,” my aunt agreed. She sighed heavily. “I hope you can see where I’m coming from, Roxanne. Being with someone that much older than you is a terrible idea. What you want in a relationship and what he wants are two completely different things.”
I frowned deeply. Apparently she wasn’t going to be as rational as I had assumed.
“I have to go, Aunt Jen,” I lied. I pinched the bridge of my nose and did everything I could to stop myself from breaking down at the moment. It seemed as if being in California wasn’t going to be nearly as relaxing as my parents had planned for it to be. “The movie’s starting, and I’m out in the lobby. I’d really like to see it. Can I just talk to you when I get home?”
“Of course, sweetie,” my aunt cooed. “Enjoy your movie, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
We both said our goodbye’s and hung up only a few seconds later. As soon as I hit the end button on my phone, I tossed it angrily back into Billie’s bedroom and let out a discouraged groan. Billie took one last drag of his cigarette, exhaled, and then put it out in an ashtray that he had had sitting on the balcony with us. As soon as it was out, he had collected me within his arms and was placing a comforting kiss on my temple.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” I stated begrudgingly as he pulled me back down into the chair with him.
“I have since before you were alive,” Billie admitted with a nervous chuckle. It was pretty apparent that I didn’t exactly approve.
“You shouldn’t,” I stated. Billie rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, I’m sure you’ve heard it before it. But your job is based on your voice. And I mean, you know--,”
“What did your aunt say?” Billie snapped rather brutally while intentionally interrupting me. At once I felt absolutely horrid for the words that had been on their way from my mouth. I wanted so desperately to apologize for how terrible I had just been, however Billie seemed ready to move on and forget our short conversation.
“She apologized for screaming at me yesterday.” Billie’s eyebrows rose in surprise, however I shook my head. “Don’t get excited. She still managed to tell me that us being together isn’t right and she hopes I can see where she’s coming from. She clearly has no desire to allow us to see each other anytime soon.”
Billie frowned. “Well, that’s alright,” he said while attempting to lighten the mood. “I don’t think today went all that bad. I’d be alright with having you here with me and taking you out this summer.”
I smiled sadly up at Billie. “I guess. I’m just so afraid that she’s going to find out and send me home.”
Billie smiled down at me and gently placed his fingers at either corners of my lips so that he could drag my lips from a frown into a smile. “Then I’ll come see you. It’ll all work out, Roxy. It always does.” He placed a kiss upon my lips. “But Finding Nemo, really?” He asked with a bubbling laugh.
I giggled and rolled my eyes. “The only reason I said that was because it bought us another hour and a half and I figured you could tell me what happened in it so I could go home and tell her if she asked. I wouldn’t know anything about any other movie.”
“Well, I hate to disappoint you, beautiful, but I slept through about half of it, so I’m not going to be able to help you much.”
I sighed heavily wrapped my arms back around Billie’s neck. Subconsciously I began to thread a couple of my fingers through the small hairs on the back of his neck. “I’m scared to talk to her,” I admitted to him after we sat in a moment of comfortable silence.
Billie smiled. “Don’t be,” he cooed.
“She thinks you’re hot,” I stated. My nose crinkled in disgust as I thought back to the other night. Billie laughed loudly at the look on my face. “She came in when I was listening to Green Day, after you were to sketchy about you guys, and mentioned how the lead singer lives around here and how he’s good looking.” I groaned and shuddered.
“Good thing she didn’t blow my cover yesterday.”
“She was probably too busy shooting daggers at you to realize who you were yesterday. That would have been really awkward if she had started going on about you being the lead singer of Green Day.”
Billie laughed quietly and placed a kiss upon my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly. “For lying to you.”
I placed both of my hands on either sides of Billie’s cheeks that had clear evidence of 5 o’clock shadow and placed a harsh kiss on his lips. “It’s over now. Don’t be sorry. Just no more.” He nodded and I smiled at him.
“How much longer do I get to keep you tonight?” He asked while rubbing his cheek against my hand. Due to his stubble feeling like sandpaper, it actually felt somewhat good.
“An hour and a half or so,” I stated while lifting my free hand to run through his shaggy hair.
“Mmm,” Billie hummed. “That’s not long enough. Just stay the night. Fuck your aunt. Stay here with me, you can wake up to the view you’ve been raging about and then I can take you there.”
I would be lying if I was to say that what Billie had just offered didn’t sound like absolute paradise, however I also knew that it was far too good to be true. Within the next couple hours, I was inevitably going to have to say good night to Billie and leave his castle.
The next hour and a half was spent on Billie’s balcony in his Adirondack chair talking about absolute nonsense. I had told Billie all about my schools football games and the play I had been in while he had told me about some of the best shows he had ever played.
Truth be told, that hour and a half was probably one of the best ones that I had ever lived.
I had set the alarm on my phone for 11 o’clock that night so that Billie and I didn’t end up talking and/or falling asleep that night however as soon as it went off, I instantly regretted setting it in the first place. At the sound of my alarm, a deep frown crawled across Billie’s face.
“I should head out,” I stated hesitantly while slowly lifting my body from the position that we had been cuddling in in the chair that night. I could tell that Billie was trying to be mature and letting me go easily, however it was much easier said than done.
“Don’t go,” he moaned. “I’m serious. Just crash here. Tell your aunt you got real lost. We can get up early and I can take you to San Francisco.” A warm, yet somewhat sad smile crossed his lips as he lifted a hand to cup my cheek. “What’s the worst your aunt can do? She can’t prove that you were here.”
I giggled quietly as I stood up from Billie’s lap and grabbed my Sidekick from the chair next to us. “She’ll know, especially with these hickies all over my neck. I’m lucky enough if I can get them past her with being home on time.”
Billie chuckled as he also stood up. He stretched his arms above his head with a groan and I couldn’t help my eyes from wandering to where his shirt rose above his shorts and exposed some skin. Sue me.
We slowly but steadily made our way through Billie’s beautiful bedroom and to the foyer of his house where I slid on my flats and grabbed my bag from where it sat by the door. I had expected Billie to say goodbye and goodnight to me on his doorstep, but was surprised when he followed me down to my aunts car. I unlocked the car and went to pull open the drivers side door, however it was slammed shut as Billie slammed my body up against it.
His hands slid to the back of my head and into my hair as his pressed his lips harshly against my own. After what seemed to have been a substantial amount of time, I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. A large grin appeared on Billie’s lips as he wiped the saliva from his mouth. “Sorry,” he apologized lamely. He most certainly wasn’t.
I grinned up at him and pulled him by the collar of his shirt back in for another kiss, however this one was much shorter and sweeter. “So you’re really going to take me to San Francisco?” I asked Billie.
Billie rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t lying, Roxy. Of course I am. I would never want you venturing there on your own, and plus I get a day with you out of it.” He smiled warmly down at me. “Just tell me any day, any time that you want me to go, and I’ll be there.”
I pulled him in for another kiss that we both grinned during. “Last chance,” he murmured against my lips. “You don’t have to go. You can stay here. I won’t make any moves on you. I’ll be good.” I giggled against his lips and he sighed in somewhat disappointment when he accepted that I clearly wasn’t buying it.
“I would love to,” I admitted. “But I don’t think that it’ll work nearly as well as you think.”
Billie sighed softly and reached behind me to open the driver side door for me. “Can you just let me know when you get in?” He asked as I moved to slowly get into the car. I cocked an eyebrow. “I just worry. You’re an eighteen year old girl, which means you probably drive like a fuckin’ lunatic.”
I laughed loudly at Billie’s words. “I’m a fantastic driver, thank you.”
Billie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure you are. Just let me know. I worry. It’s all part of being a parent. Once you have kids all you do is worry about everyone everywhere.”
I giggled as I sat down in the drivers seat and fastened my seatbelt. “I’ll let you know when I’m inside.”
“And let me know how it goes with your aunt,” Billie added. “If she really talks to you tonight. I can come over and not be a pussy and actually rescue you this time if shit gets rough.”
I giggled at Billie as he ducked inside of the car to place another kiss on my lips. “Last chance,” he murmured against my lips.
“You already said that.”
He sighed. “I know, but I just wanted to make sure that you were sure last time.”
I giggled against Billie’s lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. He squeezed me back. “Goodnight, Billie,” I murmured against his lips.
“Good night, Roxy. Don’t be a stranger.”
I grinned. “Of course not. You owe me many trips to San Francisco.” That, and I was infatuated with the man. I would be genuinely surprised if I was going to be able to go another day this summer without seeing his handsome face and his beautiful eyes.
We both shared one last kiss and then after reluctantly shutting the drivers door for me, Billie stepped away from the vehicle and I started out of the drive way and to my home, where my aunt would undoubtedly be waiting awake for me.
I laughed. If Billie had truly been serious, then he was going to be incredibly disappointed. I was a boring eighteen year old girl. The worst I had ever done was skip school to go to a concert in Central Park earlier that year. “Okay, well then give me all you’ve got.”
Billie had, after we had escaped the studio, decided to show me his backyard. Though it was small, it was absolutely gorgeous. He had had a large built in pool, surrounded by stone with a small little pool house next to it. It hadn’t been much of a house, but rather a changing area with it own small fireplace I suppose, but either way it was adorable and perfect for two people to fit in.
We had ended up sitting by Billie’s pool after he had shown me his beautiful backyard and the clouds had started to break up and after shifting multiple times, I had ended up lying down next to him and my head had ended up in his lap with his fingers running through my hair. While I’ll admit that I had been tense when we shifted into such a position, my body has started to settle more as the day went on and I accepted that this hadn’t been Billie making a move on me.
Billie chuckled as he continued to slide fingers throughout my hair. “I’m sure there’s some deep, dark secret that you’re keeping from me,” Billie accused. The playful grin he gave after though showed that he wasn’t actually accusing me.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I don’t, though,” I stated with a huff. “I’m serious, Billie. I’m some boring eighteen year old from Connecticut.”
Billie rolled his eyes back at me. “You’re a spoiled little eighteen year old. I don’t believe for a second that you’re boring.”
I scoffed loudly at Billie and whacked his legs next to me. “You keep going on about how spoiled I am, but your kids are going to be spoiled, too, pot.”
Billie’s lips pursed as he took a moment to understand what I had called him. When he realized that I had been referring to the saying the pot calling the kettle black, he laughed. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I’m just saying, it’s usually the little rich ones that are the craziest.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t drink. The craziest thing I’ve ever done was stolen a shirt from Saks Fifth Avenue.” I giggled quietly to myself. “I cried when I got outside and it’s still in my closet. I refuse to wear it because I think it’s tainted.”
Billie snorted loudly at my story and lifted the hand that hadn’t been running through my hair, but holding one of my own to place a kiss against my wrist. “You really are a sad little girl.” I only grinned up at him as he began to play with my hand. “Why are you so opposed to drinking?” He asked.
I frowned. “I don’t mind when other people do, unless they get sloppy, but I just don’t like it. I don’t like hangovers. I can’t even be around throw up. I try to crawl out of my own skin when I have the flu, why would I want to do it on a weekend basis?” I shuddered at the thought of all of the parties and probably the gallons of throw up I had seen in my time. “It’s disgusting. Bryan threw up on me once at a party and I didn’t talk to him for a week.”
Billie stared down at me with a cocked eyebrow for a moment and I was about to ask him what his problem was, when he had burst into a fit of laughter. I scowled up at him and turned to focus my eyes upon his beautiful pool while I felt my cheeks begin to burn. There really wasn’t anything fun about being laughed at.
Billie’s laughter died down to short snorts of giggles and he gently slid both of his hands between my body and his lap to tug me upwards so that I was seated next to him. I still managed to avoid eye contact despite the fact that he was well aware that I was doing so. Billie slid a hand up the back of my head and gently pushed it forward so that our lips had connected. If he wanted a forgiving kiss, then he was going to have to do better than that.
“I’m sorry for laughing at you,” he cooed. Had I not seen that playful smirk upon his lips I probably would have believed him. “Oh come on, Roxy. You’re so fucking adorable. I mean, nobody likes throw up, but I was half expecting you to cry there.” I scowled at him and he giggled. He turned his body so that he was then facing me and pulled me into his chest. He was lucky, because if I hadn’t become so infatuated with him and unable to stop myself from melting upon contact with him, I would have fought a lot more. “So you admit that you were hungover once,” Billie stated. I cocked an eyebrow and looked up at him.
I rolled my eyes. “Why are you so infatuated with my drinking history?” I asked.
Billie cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you so infatuated with my tattoos?” He countered.
I frowned. “Touché.”
“I just find it hard to believe that you’re not a partier. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I was—am,” he admitted. “You’re the only girl I have ever been with that seems to have no interest in any of that, so I’m just a little curious. That’s all.”
“I just had a really bad experience with drinking,” I admitted. Billie cocked an eyebrow. “It was probably the second time I ever drank, and I got really, really drunk. We were at a cast party after a play. I don’t remember the night at all, and I just know that I woke up the next morning naked in my friends bed, thankfully with Bryan next to me. He had apparently kept watch of me all night long since he saw me getting pretty intoxicated. And it just scared me a lot, because if he hadn’t been such a good guy then I could have ended up in a lot of trouble.”
Billie smiled sympathetically at me and gingerly rubbed my shoulder. “Far enough,” he agreed. “I could see why that’d scare you. It’s happened to me a few times,” he admitted with a hint of a chuckle. “Got me into a lot of trouble. But,” he shrugged, “life goes on.” He lifted a hand to run through his hair. “Cast party, you said?” He asked. I nodded and his eyes lit up. “That’s right, you said you were in your schools plays.” Truth be told, I was absolutely baffled that Billie had remembered something so petty. While I hung on every word that he had said, in no way had I expected him to do the same.
“I was,” I agreed with a nod of my head. He looked far too excited for something so petty.
“So you like to act, then?” He asked.
“I do,” I agreed. I shrugged. “But I mean, I’m not obsessed with it. I just do it for fun. Sports were never really my thing, so I decided to audition for the school play. We just did Beauty and the Beast this past year.”
Billie grinned at me. “And who did you play?” He asked.
“Belle,” I admitted quietly. I shouldn’t have been embarrassed considering that it actually took work to get the lead in school plays, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like a five year old compared to Billie.
Billie’s eyes lit up as he realized what playing Belle meant. I felt my stomach twist. He looked far too excited. A part of me couldn’t help but wonder if he was only acting this excited to get back at me for how I had reacted earlier. “You were the lead?” He asked.
“I was,” I admitted.
Billie’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing, Roxanne,” he gasped. He sounded almost as ridiculous as I had when I had been gushing about his singing. Only, he was acting even more ridiculous than I had because being the lead in a school play was nothing compared to the amount of talent he had. For christsakes, I was the lead in a high school play. Not Julliard. “How often does your school do plays?” He asked.
“About once or twice a year. There’s a smaller one in the fall and usually the big Spring play. They’re always fun.”
“Could I see one?” He asked coyly. “I mean, not right now, obviously, but y’know, in the fall or the spring—whichever one you’re in…”
I felt my heart skip quite a few beats and my throat close up a bit as Billie’s words began to become clear to me. He was asking if it was alright for him to attend one of my high school plays later that fall or even next spring. Billie was making plans for us as far as about a year away.
He had most definitely just requested to go to one of my school plays to flatter me. Nothing more. While he may have actually been interested, I knew that there was almost no way in hell that he was serious about going to a play that was so far away. By next May, he would probably be with a girl that was at least of drinking age and laughing at the thought of my ridiculous school play.
His words had still meant a lot, though.
“I, uh, uh of—of course,” I spluttered. A warm grin melted over Billie’s lips. “I mean, I probably won’t get the lead again, but yeah, of course you can. They’re open to anyone. I can send you a ticket when the time comes around.”
Billie chuckled at my reaction and placed a warm kiss against my lips. I welcomed them.
“You’re drop dead gorgeous, you cook, you bake, you’re the lead of your schools play and you’re cleaner than I was the day that I was born,” Billie stated with a grin pulling the corner of his lips, “and yet you were going on about how perfect I am earlier?” A soft chuckle escaped Billie’s lips as he cupped my chin and pulled my face against his own to kiss me once again. “The only problem with you is that you’re slightly insane and completely dillusional.”
My eyes widened in surprise at Billie’s backhanded compliment and I spluttered a few giggles. “I, I’m—I’m not anything special,” I mumbled awkwardly with a shrug.
Billie rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up.” My mouth dropped open in shock at Billie, however before I could gasp, his lips had placed themselves upon my own and he was pulling my body against his.
I slid into Billie’s lap rather easily and within only a matter of seconds were my hands tangled within his hair my legs were wrapped around his waist. I gasped loudly as he accidently bit down onto my bottom lip and between harsh kisses, Billie managed to mutter our a muffled sorry.
His lips hadn’t stayed on my own for too much longer. In fact, only few minutes after we seemed to pick up where we had left off only 24 hours ago, Billie had taken his lips from my own and had placed them onto my jaw and then various spots upon my neck. Almost instantly I had tilted my head the opposite way in order to expose more and allow easier access to the skin that Billie was now focused upon.
I applied more pressure to the back of Billie’s head, urging him to continue what he was doing. I wanted—needed more of him. The feeling of Billie’s body pressed up against my own along with the feeling of the bruises he was leaving on my neck wasn’t enough. Nothing would actually be enough for me. I wanted to inside of the man, and even that probably wouldn’t have satisfied me.
Billie’s hands slid up and back from where they had placed themselves upon my back so that they were now cupping the base of my neck. They slowly began to move south from the base of my neck to my chest, where the ghosted over until they finally placed themselves on my waist. I had thought that they were set until they began to slide down over my thighs to the opening of my dress, which was much more pronounced due to the fact that my legs had been wrapped around his waist. As soon as I felt his hand thumb at the fabric and begin to slid underneath, however, I pushed it away.
“Sorry,” he gasped.
I shook my head quickly and pushed a blond curl from hanging over his eyes. A wolfish grin appeared on his lips and in one swift movement, he had lifted me from his lap and had gently lied me down next to the pool. He slid his legs on either side of my body so that he was straddling me and without missing a beat, his lips had attached themselves back onto my neck and were beginning, as his hands had, to move south.
His mouth placed itself and sucked gently on my collar bone, and then down to what had to have been half of an inch above where my dress sat on my chest. I gasped at the sensation of his warm lips against skin that was just so close to my breast. I expected Billie to take the plunge and pull the sweetheart neckline of my dress down, however he placed another kiss just to the side of the former one. It was when he reached the middle of my cleavage, where the sweetheart neckline of my dress dipped the most, that his lips drifted southward.
I gasped loudly as his teeth grazed my skin. However the only difference between this gasp and the many others that had left my lips within the last few minutes was the fact that this one had been followed by a nauseas feeling in my stomach.
This wasn’t me.
I had been with Bryan Bates about four years before we had moved any farther than making out, and there I was, lying on the side of Billie’s pool, practically allowing him to remove my top like a complete whore when I had just known him a little over a week.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to Billie and that I hadn’t wanted him to kiss me everywhere that he had, because lord knows that that certainly wasn’t the case—but Billie was the second guy in my entire life that I had ever kissed. It had taken me years to sleep with Bryan Bates and while I knew that it obviously wouldn’t take Billie and I nearly as long (that is, if we ever actually did), I certainly wasn’t ready to spread my legs for him now.
This was too fast. This was too far too fast. This was not me.
I pushed Billie off of me rather harshly, much more harshly than I had meant to, however as soon as he was off of me, I sat up and turned to face away from him. I hastily wiped at the few tears that had swelled up in my eyes with one hand as I adjusted my dress with the other. I couldn’t let him see me cry. It had been bad enough yesterday when he had seen me crying when my aunt had been yelling at us.
“Roxy?” Billie called desperately as soon as he became aware of his surroundings. “Shit, did I hurt you? I’m sorry, sometimes I get carried—holy shit, are you crying?”
I had buried my head far into my hands and refused to allow Billie to see me in all of my shame. I couldn’t believe that I was crying at the moment. There had been absolutely no reason for me to be crying. Billie had done absolutely nothing wrong—I had done nothing wrong. What Billie and I had been doing was normal. We were two young people making out and progressing in our relationship. I enjoyed it.
In one swift movement Billie had scooped me into his arms and pulled me against his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I sobbed. Despite how furiously I wiped at the tears, they refused to disappear.
“Why are you sorry? Why are you crying? Oh shit, Roxy, are you okay?”
I shook my head vigorously as I continued to angrily wipe at my eyes. “It’s not you, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m sorry.”
Billie twisted me around in his arms so that I was forced to face him. He pushed my hands away from my eyes so that he could take my place in wiping them. Billie looked paler than a ghost, yet just as horrified as if he had seen one himself. While I had only known Billie for a little over a week, it was safe to say that I had never seen him look so frightened.
“What happened?” He asked once my pathetic sobs had faded.
“I—I don’t know,” I lied. “I’m sorry. I—I just got scared. This, this just isn’t me,” I babbled while motioning between Billie and I.
Billie cocked an eyebrow and his terrified expression turned to one of concern and confusion. “What isn’t you?” He asked slowly.
“I just, I’m not used to this,” I blubbered. “You’re—you’re only the second guy I’ve ever kissed. I’m not used to this with anyone else. I’ve never moved this fast with anyone. Bryan and I, we started dating when we were eleven so it took us years to do this.” I looked up at Billie through tearful eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m just scared.”
Almost at once did a warm smile melt across Billie’s lips. He pulled me against his chest and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “Oh shit, Roxy. I thought I hurt you.” He gently pushed me away so that he could see my face. “I’m sorry, Roxy. I forget just how young you are.” He shook his head slowly. “You need to tell me when you’re uncomfortable, darling.”
I shook my head slowly. “I didn’t realize I was until I pushed you away. I just—I’m not used to this. I don’t know what moving too fast is.”
Billie smiled down at me and pulled me in to brush an adoring kiss against my lips. “It’s okay, Roxy.” Another kiss.
“I’m so sorry,” I continued to apologize. I started to stand up from where we had sat together in his backyard and started towards the beautiful vine-covered door that lead back into his kitchen. “I should just go.”
“What?” Billie spluttered. He stood up also and was hot on my heels. “What are you going on about? Shit, Roxanne. Have you been listening to me at all? I understand that you’re scared, Roxy. Moving on is scary. You’ve been with Bryan since you can remember.” He pulled my body into his arms. “Come on. Let’s go inside and let me order us a pizza or chinese.”
I felt my heart skip a beat at Billie’s words. He was so accepting and so much less of an asshole than I seemed to have subconsciously expected. I would have done almost anything for my aunt to have seen how Billie was currently treating me.
I followed Billie back inside of his beautiful castle and slid into one of the seats at the kitchen island. “Can I use your bathroom?” I asked after a minute or so of watching Billie search through drawers for what I assumed was a menu.
“Yeah,” Billie answered while digging through a stack of papers. “Down the hall, to the left.”
I slid off of the stool and followed his directions, surely enough, to the bathroom that Billie had been able to decorate that he had shown me before. I flicked on the light and stepped over to the mirror to adjust my hair and makeup, seeing as both were a mess from earlier.
I ran a hand through my red hair and pulled it to one shoulder. As soon as I did though, however, I gasped loudly and felt my heart drop into my stomach. Lining various spots of my neck had been about three or four purple bruises. While I had thought that it had felt like Billie had been leaving me hickies, I had never actually thought that he was, or what in the world I would tell my aunt.
She was going to be able to call complete bullshit on whatever I told her I had been doing that day if it was anything other than seeing Billie.
I quickly exited the bathroom and entered the foyer where my bag had been placed earlier that afternoon and took out a bottle of foundation that I had thankfully carried around with me at all times. I quickly applied it onto my neck and after fidgeting with my hair for a good few minutes, I made my way back into the kitchen.
“Chinese or pizza?” Billie asked once I reentered the kitchen. I slid back onto the chair that I had been seated on before.
I smiled to myself as I watched Billie stare down at the two menus that were placed on the island in front of him. I shrugged. “Surprise me.”
+++
“Alright,” Billie started while wheeling around on the balls of his feet to face me. I had serious déjà vu from our conversation outside of his studio earlier that afternoon. “I didn’t clean in here. I rarely clean in here. I’m sure your room is picture fucking perfect like you are, but mine isn’t. Don’t judge me.”
Billie had ended up ordering chinese food for the two of us, and despite the clusterfuck of a day we had had, we ended up eating our dinner on his patio with Rocky in fantastic moods.
After we had eaten dinner and the sun had begun to set, Billie had lead both Rocky and I back inside and after grabbing a beer for himself and a bottle of water for me, he had taken me by my hand and had lead me upstairs to the one room he had neglected to show me before.
I giggled quietly at how defensive Billie was over the mess in his room. He had been acting as if there was absolutely no possibility for me to have ever seen a dirtier home in my life when in reality, I had seen much, much worse. Throughout the 7 years I had been dating Bryan, I believe that his room had been clean once, maybe twice.
“I promise not to judge you on anything I see in here, unless it’s ludicrous.”
Billie chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’ll take my chances. Alright, come on.” He twisted open the door handle and pushed open the door with the side of his foot so that he didn’t have to balance the bottle of beer and my glass of water in one.
I followed Billie up a few stairs that the door had lead to and into by far the largest room in the house. Much like the other rooms in the home, Billie’s bedroom had surprised me, also. I wasn’t sure exactly why, considering I had accepted that the interior of Billie’s home hadn’t matched the outside or his “punk rock” attitude, but the fact that the walls of Billie’s bedroom were a bright creamed color rather than a darker tone had blindsided me.
The cream colored walls of Billie’s bedroom were currently lit up by a beautiful black chandelier that hung from the ceiling over a king sized bed decorated with black and white sheets and pillows that had been tossed around the unmade bed. On the opposite side of the room from the bed, placed so that Billie could watch it while lying in bed I assumed, was perhaps one of the largest televisions I had ever seen. Strewn across the oak floors that made up the bedroom were various articles of clothing and a few beer bottles. For a bachelor pad, it didn’t look half bad.
Billie crossed his bedroom to a pair of French doors that I hadn’t even noticed. I cocked an eyebrow in curiosity as to why Billie had had to large French doors in his bedroom, however all of my questions had been answered as soon as he opened them and stepped out onto an adorable little balcony that from what I could see, had two gray Adirondack chairs placed on it. I felt my heart quiver at the adorable site ahead of me along with the thought that Billie had actually planned to sit on his balcony with me that evening all day long.
“This is so adorable,” I gasped as I stepped onto the small balcony.
Billie chuckled and placed the beverages onto the side of the balcony. “Thanks. It’s cute. When I’m not sitting in my studio drunk, I’m usually sitting out here.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he dipped his head bashfully. “I’m glad it’s a clear night, or I’d feel like a dipshit with my rant earlier.”
I cocked an eyebrow and my head to the side slightly in confusion as to what Billie was talking about, however as soon as the words left his mouth, Billie turned to look out over the balcony at the breathtaking view that I had somehow managed to miss. “Oh my god,” I gasped. Billie stepped over to the side of the balcony and I followed suit with my hand placed over my mouth. What was in front of me was perhaps the most beautiful view that I had ever seen within the entirety of my life. I could have spent the rest of my life attempting to describe how beautiful the view from Billie’s balcony was, however I genuinely believe that I never would have been able to do it justice.
Below us was the rest of Piedmont and the homes surrounding Billie’s, perhaps even my aunt’s considering how close to him she lived. And while looking down at the rest of the homes surrounding Billie’s was beautiful enough, the sight of the bridge that connected us to San Francisco and the actual city of San Francisco itself was what left me breathless. From Billie’s bedroom I could see almost the entire city of San Francisco.
“I am so jealous,” I whispered as my eyes ghosted over the city in front of us. “Oh my god, you wake up to this every morning?” I asked while glancing at Billie from the side of my eyes.
Billie chuckled. “I do,” he admitted while nodding. “Maybe if you stayed over a night or two, you could wake up to it, too.” He grinned and winked at me. I felt my cheeks burn profusely and my breath get caught in my throat. Billie certainly hadn’t missed any opportunity to hit on me that day, not that I could actually complain. “I’ve gotten pretty used to it, but I figured you’d get a kick out of it. It’s much prettier at night, so that’s why I saved this for last. One last effort at wiping you off of your feet.”
I continued to blush profusely. What was baffling to me was the fact that Billie seemed to actually think that he had to wipe me off of my feet. Hadn’t he realized that from the moment he had agreed to help me on the plane I had been infatuated with him? I was borderline obsessed with the man and he seemed to actually be trying to win my affection.
“Well, this uh, this may have done the trick,” I admitted while staring out over the bay. I sighed loudly. “Wow. I could totally get used to this view.”
Billie laughed softly and after taking his bottle of beer, took a seat back in the Adirondack chair that was placed in back of him. After a moment or two I went to take a seat in the one to the right of his, however Billie had been quick to catch my arm and pulled me down into his lap. With an embarrassing surprised squeal I fell back onto his body.
“I want to go to San Francisco so bad,” I admitted dreamily while looking out over the bay. Way off in the distance, barely visible at all, I could have sworn that I could see the Golden Gate bridge.
“So why don’t you?” Billie asked lazily while taking a sip of his beer. He shifted and stretched back in the chair underneath me so that his small legs were stretched out in front of us and his head rested comfortably against the back of the chair. I took one last look at the beautiful city that sat before me before relaxing my body back against Billie’s.
“I live in Connecticut,” I pointed out. “It’s not exactly a day trip for me. I was considering coming a couple years ago for spring break with Sadie, her boyfriend and Bryan, and we would have stayed with my aunt, but it didn’t work out.”
“Shame,” Billie murmured. I looked up at him and was rather surprised when I noticed that his eyes had been closed. I felt my heat quiver at the sight of Billie’s sleepy expression and slowly slid one of my arms around his thin waist. His eyes opened briefly at that and looked down to meet my own. We both smiled at each other and then his eyes were closed again. I shifted in his lap so that I could rest my head on his shoulder and before doing so, placed a kiss upon his lips.
“Do you go often?” I asked while looking back at the city once again.
“I do,” Billie stated. He chuckled. “Why don't you just ask me, Roxy?” He asked.
I cocked an eyebrow and lifted my head from his shoulder. Almost immediately he lifted the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his bottle of beer to attempt to push it back down. “Excuse me?” I asked awkwardly.
A grin pulled at the side of Billie’s lips and another chuckle left them. His beautiful eyes opened once again and connected with my own. “C’mon, Roxy. You’re sitting here gazing dreamingly at San Francisco, acting as if you you’re not fifteen minutes from it and you don’t have your own personal tour guide of California sitting beneath you. You could ask me to take you down to fuckin’ Los Angeles and you know I’d jump to do it. Just name the day that you want to go, and I’ll take you.”
My eyes widened at Billie’s words. Truth be told, as ridiculous as it sounds, I hadn’t even considered asking Billie to take me to San Francisco. It wasn’t Billie’s job to drive me around California, and I felt bad even asking him. Bringing me to San Francisco required him spending money on me, and while he seemed to jump at the opportunity, I didn’t want him to think of me as just using him.
“You would take me?” I asked Billie awkwardly.
Billie rolled his eyes. “You’re kidding me, right? Roxy, I’d be insulted if you didn’t ask me to take you. Name the day and I’ll be more than happy to take you.”
I bit down my bottom lip in excitement at the fact that I was almost guaranteed to see Billie once again after our day together was over. While I suppose I had always known that I would see Billie after I left that evening, the actual promise of it made butterflies flutter in my stomach.
“What about tomorrow?” I asked. I wasn’t serious, I didn’t actually expect him to take me the very next morning.
“Alright,” Billie agreed. He laughed when he saw my eyes widen. “I don’t know why you’re expecting me to say no, Roxy. Isn’t it obvious that I want to spend as much time with you while you’re here as possible?”
“I, uh, yeah, I guess,” I agreed awkwardly. “But what about your band? Don’t you have to see them sometime?”
Billie waved a hand dismissively at me. “They can wait. Like I’ve said. We’re not getting anywhere at the time. None of us are agreeing on anything. I don’t know what the fuck they expect from me. I just went through a goddamn divorce, obviously this isn’t going to be some of my best material.”
I frowned at the obvious problems Billie and his friends were going through at the time and despite how little I knew about Billie’s life, nonetheless his music, I wanted so desperately to be able to help him. “Why won’t you write anything about your divorce?” I asked awkwardly. I knew damn well that I was venturing into dangerous waters. “I mean, if music is a way to express yourself--,”
“Because it makes me look and feel stupid as fuck,” Billie snapped. My eyes widened in surprise at his tone. “I’m not doing that to myself. I’m not doing that to Adrienne and I’m sure as hell not doing that to my kids. I’m not going to have my kids be fourteen or fifteen and be listening to dads heartbroken songs about their mother.” I nodded slowly. He most definitely had had a fantastic point. He shrugged once again. “And I’m getting over it. I’m not sitting up all night wondering what I did wrong anymore, or going on binges because I can’t cope with what’s going on. I feel good again, and writing about it will just bring me down. I’d rather focus on other things in my life.” His eyes lifted to meet my own and a coy smile appeared on his lips. I felt my heart skip a beat and immediately adverted my eyes.
“Could I give you a suggestion?” I asked quietly while twisting a ring that sat on my ring finger. Billie hummed mhmmm in response. “I, uhm, well, why don’t you, er, why don’t you write about him?” I asked.
Billie cocked an eyebrow. “Who?” He asked rather bluntly. At once I regretted my decision. I really was stupid. I was just beginning to get to know Billie, and there I was, suggesting writing material to him as if I had known him for his entire life. I was being stupid.
“No one,” I murmured quietly while focusing my eyes upon the beer bottle that was still being clutched in Billie’s hands. I felt like his friends that had been pushing him for material.
“My dad?” Billie asked. He hadn’t sounded nearly as offended as I had expected him to, but rather baffled. He was probably baffled that I had actually had the balls to recommend something so gutsy.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized automatically. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my place. That’s a very personal matter. I’m sorry.” I sounded ridiculous with the way that I was stumbling over my words.
“Roxy, Roxy, calm down, hey, hey calm down,” Billie cooed. He sat up from his relaxed position in the chair underneath me and gently pulled my body into his chest. “I’m not angry. You just caught me off guard. I don’t know why I don’t write about him—it’s just a painful memory that I try to block out, so I’ve never really considered it. I’ve written a few lines about him, but nothing ever came from them.” He placed two fingers underneath my chin and pushed my face up to look at him so that he could brush a kiss over my lips. “I know you’re just trying to help me, and I appreciate it.”
“It still wasn’t my place, and I’m sorry.”
Billie laughed quietly and placed another kiss upon my lips. “You’re helping me a lot, Roxy. You really are. I’ve told you. You’re the only rational one in the bay area anymore, it seems. I’m not sure if I’ll really follow through, because I’m a stubborn ass, but I appreciate everything you have to say.” Another kiss. “You’re my last piece of sanity.”
I wanted so desperately to respond to Billie, and I probably would have, had Matthew Bellamy’s voice not cut me off. At the realization that my phone was going off, I gasped loudly and pulled it from the place in my bra that I had tucked it before. Billie snorted loudly while I felt myself blush in embarrassment. All the color that had just flooded to my cheeks had drained rather quickly, however, once I saw the name that was displayed upon the screen.
“Shit,” I hissed as I hopped off of Billie’s lap and quickly darted into his room. I lifted my hand to my hair and ran it through hastily as I tried to figure out what to do. Billie, hot on my heels, stood up quickly and was immediately looking over my shoulder at the name that had caused my sudden anxiety. A deep frown formed over his face.
“Oh,” he muttered lamely. “You should, uh, you should probably get that?” He was most definitely giving me advice, however he seemed to be questioning it himself.
I sighed heavily and nodded slowly while pressing the button to accept the call. “Hello?” I answered quietly. I placed my finger over my lips to tell Billie to be quiet. He nodded and in the meantime, grabbed a pack of Marlboro’s that I hadn’t noticed before from the dresser in his bedroom and headed back outside to light it up. Despite the fact that I had always tasted cigarettes while kissing Billie, I was still mildly surprised to see that he actually smoked. I would have been lying if I had said that it hadn’t turned me off a bit.
“Roxanne?” My aunt called into the phone. She sounded friendly enough, however I still winced.
“Hi Aunt Jen,” I greeted awkwardly. I stepped back onto the balcony because despite the fact that the smell of cigarettes disgusted me, I couldn’t find it within me to part myself from Billie.
“Where are you?” My aunt asked. I mentally scolded myself at the fact that I hadn’t even considered what time it had been. I should have left Billie’s at least an hour ago. “I just got home and I was hoping I could talk to you.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized lamely. “I, uh, I was down so I decided to go out and,” I paused momentarily and looked to Billie for help as to what to say to my aunt. Billie only stared back at me with wide eyes and exhaled smoke from his mouth while shrugging. I stuck my tongue out at him. “I ended up going to the movies,” I lied.
“Oh?” My aunt asked. I knew damn well that she didn’t believe me. And even if she had, the hickies that Billie had left all over my neck earlier certainly would persuade her otherwise. “What are you seeing?” She asked.
“Finding Nemo,” I blurted. Billie looked amused as he took another drag of his cigarette and I swatted at his arm. “I needed a feel good, pick me up movie and that seemed the perfect one to do it.”
“Oh, that’s cute,” my aunt stated. “When is it over? Do you know when you’ll be home? I’d really love to talk to you, Roxanne. I’m sorry about how yesterday happened. I should have let you talk. I know you’re going through a difficult time in your life, and I wasn’t being sensitive. I’m sorry.”
To say I was surprised was most definitely and understatement to say in the least. My aunt had seemed so much more rational than she had 24 hours ago, and perhaps talking to her wouldn’t have been as horrible as I had expected. “Thank you, Aunt Jen,” I thanked. “I—I, I appreciate it. The movie just started, so I’ll be home when it’s over, is that okay?”
“Okay,” my aunt agreed. She sighed heavily. “I hope you can see where I’m coming from, Roxanne. Being with someone that much older than you is a terrible idea. What you want in a relationship and what he wants are two completely different things.”
I frowned deeply. Apparently she wasn’t going to be as rational as I had assumed.
“I have to go, Aunt Jen,” I lied. I pinched the bridge of my nose and did everything I could to stop myself from breaking down at the moment. It seemed as if being in California wasn’t going to be nearly as relaxing as my parents had planned for it to be. “The movie’s starting, and I’m out in the lobby. I’d really like to see it. Can I just talk to you when I get home?”
“Of course, sweetie,” my aunt cooed. “Enjoy your movie, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
We both said our goodbye’s and hung up only a few seconds later. As soon as I hit the end button on my phone, I tossed it angrily back into Billie’s bedroom and let out a discouraged groan. Billie took one last drag of his cigarette, exhaled, and then put it out in an ashtray that he had had sitting on the balcony with us. As soon as it was out, he had collected me within his arms and was placing a comforting kiss on my temple.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” I stated begrudgingly as he pulled me back down into the chair with him.
“I have since before you were alive,” Billie admitted with a nervous chuckle. It was pretty apparent that I didn’t exactly approve.
“You shouldn’t,” I stated. Billie rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, I’m sure you’ve heard it before it. But your job is based on your voice. And I mean, you know--,”
“What did your aunt say?” Billie snapped rather brutally while intentionally interrupting me. At once I felt absolutely horrid for the words that had been on their way from my mouth. I wanted so desperately to apologize for how terrible I had just been, however Billie seemed ready to move on and forget our short conversation.
“She apologized for screaming at me yesterday.” Billie’s eyebrows rose in surprise, however I shook my head. “Don’t get excited. She still managed to tell me that us being together isn’t right and she hopes I can see where she’s coming from. She clearly has no desire to allow us to see each other anytime soon.”
Billie frowned. “Well, that’s alright,” he said while attempting to lighten the mood. “I don’t think today went all that bad. I’d be alright with having you here with me and taking you out this summer.”
I smiled sadly up at Billie. “I guess. I’m just so afraid that she’s going to find out and send me home.”
Billie smiled down at me and gently placed his fingers at either corners of my lips so that he could drag my lips from a frown into a smile. “Then I’ll come see you. It’ll all work out, Roxy. It always does.” He placed a kiss upon my lips. “But Finding Nemo, really?” He asked with a bubbling laugh.
I giggled and rolled my eyes. “The only reason I said that was because it bought us another hour and a half and I figured you could tell me what happened in it so I could go home and tell her if she asked. I wouldn’t know anything about any other movie.”
“Well, I hate to disappoint you, beautiful, but I slept through about half of it, so I’m not going to be able to help you much.”
I sighed heavily wrapped my arms back around Billie’s neck. Subconsciously I began to thread a couple of my fingers through the small hairs on the back of his neck. “I’m scared to talk to her,” I admitted to him after we sat in a moment of comfortable silence.
Billie smiled. “Don’t be,” he cooed.
“She thinks you’re hot,” I stated. My nose crinkled in disgust as I thought back to the other night. Billie laughed loudly at the look on my face. “She came in when I was listening to Green Day, after you were to sketchy about you guys, and mentioned how the lead singer lives around here and how he’s good looking.” I groaned and shuddered.
“Good thing she didn’t blow my cover yesterday.”
“She was probably too busy shooting daggers at you to realize who you were yesterday. That would have been really awkward if she had started going on about you being the lead singer of Green Day.”
Billie laughed quietly and placed a kiss upon my cheek. “I’m sorry,” he apologized quietly. “For lying to you.”
I placed both of my hands on either sides of Billie’s cheeks that had clear evidence of 5 o’clock shadow and placed a harsh kiss on his lips. “It’s over now. Don’t be sorry. Just no more.” He nodded and I smiled at him.
“How much longer do I get to keep you tonight?” He asked while rubbing his cheek against my hand. Due to his stubble feeling like sandpaper, it actually felt somewhat good.
“An hour and a half or so,” I stated while lifting my free hand to run through his shaggy hair.
“Mmm,” Billie hummed. “That’s not long enough. Just stay the night. Fuck your aunt. Stay here with me, you can wake up to the view you’ve been raging about and then I can take you there.”
I would be lying if I was to say that what Billie had just offered didn’t sound like absolute paradise, however I also knew that it was far too good to be true. Within the next couple hours, I was inevitably going to have to say good night to Billie and leave his castle.
The next hour and a half was spent on Billie’s balcony in his Adirondack chair talking about absolute nonsense. I had told Billie all about my schools football games and the play I had been in while he had told me about some of the best shows he had ever played.
Truth be told, that hour and a half was probably one of the best ones that I had ever lived.
I had set the alarm on my phone for 11 o’clock that night so that Billie and I didn’t end up talking and/or falling asleep that night however as soon as it went off, I instantly regretted setting it in the first place. At the sound of my alarm, a deep frown crawled across Billie’s face.
“I should head out,” I stated hesitantly while slowly lifting my body from the position that we had been cuddling in in the chair that night. I could tell that Billie was trying to be mature and letting me go easily, however it was much easier said than done.
“Don’t go,” he moaned. “I’m serious. Just crash here. Tell your aunt you got real lost. We can get up early and I can take you to San Francisco.” A warm, yet somewhat sad smile crossed his lips as he lifted a hand to cup my cheek. “What’s the worst your aunt can do? She can’t prove that you were here.”
I giggled quietly as I stood up from Billie’s lap and grabbed my Sidekick from the chair next to us. “She’ll know, especially with these hickies all over my neck. I’m lucky enough if I can get them past her with being home on time.”
Billie chuckled as he also stood up. He stretched his arms above his head with a groan and I couldn’t help my eyes from wandering to where his shirt rose above his shorts and exposed some skin. Sue me.
We slowly but steadily made our way through Billie’s beautiful bedroom and to the foyer of his house where I slid on my flats and grabbed my bag from where it sat by the door. I had expected Billie to say goodbye and goodnight to me on his doorstep, but was surprised when he followed me down to my aunts car. I unlocked the car and went to pull open the drivers side door, however it was slammed shut as Billie slammed my body up against it.
His hands slid to the back of my head and into my hair as his pressed his lips harshly against my own. After what seemed to have been a substantial amount of time, I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. A large grin appeared on Billie’s lips as he wiped the saliva from his mouth. “Sorry,” he apologized lamely. He most certainly wasn’t.
I grinned up at him and pulled him by the collar of his shirt back in for another kiss, however this one was much shorter and sweeter. “So you’re really going to take me to San Francisco?” I asked Billie.
Billie rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t lying, Roxy. Of course I am. I would never want you venturing there on your own, and plus I get a day with you out of it.” He smiled warmly down at me. “Just tell me any day, any time that you want me to go, and I’ll be there.”
I pulled him in for another kiss that we both grinned during. “Last chance,” he murmured against my lips. “You don’t have to go. You can stay here. I won’t make any moves on you. I’ll be good.” I giggled against his lips and he sighed in somewhat disappointment when he accepted that I clearly wasn’t buying it.
“I would love to,” I admitted. “But I don’t think that it’ll work nearly as well as you think.”
Billie sighed softly and reached behind me to open the driver side door for me. “Can you just let me know when you get in?” He asked as I moved to slowly get into the car. I cocked an eyebrow. “I just worry. You’re an eighteen year old girl, which means you probably drive like a fuckin’ lunatic.”
I laughed loudly at Billie’s words. “I’m a fantastic driver, thank you.”
Billie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah I’m sure you are. Just let me know. I worry. It’s all part of being a parent. Once you have kids all you do is worry about everyone everywhere.”
I giggled as I sat down in the drivers seat and fastened my seatbelt. “I’ll let you know when I’m inside.”
“And let me know how it goes with your aunt,” Billie added. “If she really talks to you tonight. I can come over and not be a pussy and actually rescue you this time if shit gets rough.”
I giggled at Billie as he ducked inside of the car to place another kiss on my lips. “Last chance,” he murmured against my lips.
“You already said that.”
He sighed. “I know, but I just wanted to make sure that you were sure last time.”
I giggled against Billie’s lips as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. He squeezed me back. “Goodnight, Billie,” I murmured against his lips.
“Good night, Roxy. Don’t be a stranger.”
I grinned. “Of course not. You owe me many trips to San Francisco.” That, and I was infatuated with the man. I would be genuinely surprised if I was going to be able to go another day this summer without seeing his handsome face and his beautiful eyes.
We both shared one last kiss and then after reluctantly shutting the drivers door for me, Billie stepped away from the vehicle and I started out of the drive way and to my home, where my aunt would undoubtedly be waiting awake for me.
♠ ♠ ♠
so this took so long because I went on vacation for a week and my mind still isn't able to adjust being back from it. Sorry! But it is a nice long one for you. :) your feedback is so very lovely and greatly appreciated <33333