Roxanne

I had made it back to my aunt’s home within ten or so minutes, however it had taken me another ten to actually get out of the car. To say that I was absolutely dreading the next few hours of my life was quite the understatement. The entire day, even including the minor bumps in the road, had honestly been one of the best I had ever had and I wasn’t quite ready for it to be ruined yet.

It took me a good few minutes to mentally prepare myself for what I was going to endure inside my aunt’s home. I figured the best move I could make would be to lie to my aunt and agree with her that Billie wasn’t right for me and that I had been stupid. It would be quick and easy and painless, and considering her work schedule, I would still be able to get my way.

I glanced into the rear view mirror in the car and applied a bit more foundation to the bruises that Billie had left on my neck earlier that day and after pulling my hair to that side of my neck, I slowly eased myself out of my aunts car and up the path to her front door.

I pushed open the door to my aunts home and after slipping off of my shoes, figuring that there was absolutely no point in even attempting to avoid my aunt considering it was her home and she would find me right away anyway, I headed towards the kitchen.

Sure enough my aunt sat on one of the stools at the island in her kitchen with her eyes fixated upon the small television that was over the counter and a small plate of food in front of her. When she noticed that I had entered the room, a small smile appeared across her lips. She looked at nervous as I felt.

“Hey,” my aunt greeted. I smiled and murmured it back to her. She motioned to the stool across from her and after hesitating for a moment, I crossed the kitchen to take it. “There’s some penne a la vodka in the fridge,” she said while motioning towards it.

I felt my cheeks burn and my eyes became focused on the tiled floor in embarrassment. “No, there’s not. I ate it at like 3 o’clock this morning. It was delicious, thank you.”

My aunt’s eyes widened in surprise and she laughed. “Oh, well, you’re welcome. Are you hungry? I’m sure we could find something.”

I waved my hand at her. “No, I’m fine. I had popcorn at the theater.” Truth was, I was still stuffed from the Chinese food Billie had ordered that evening.

“Okay,” my aunt answered. We both sat in awkward silence for a moment or two. I suppose she didn’t exactly know how to start what she had wanted to say and considering the fact that I hadn’t wanted to talk at all about the subject, I refused to start any conversation on it.

“I’m sorry for flipping out on you, Roxanne,” my aunt started. I exhaled slowly at the realization that this was it. This was the talk. There was no way to avoid it. “I just,” she sighed softly, “I knew you were going to find someone this summer,” she stated. “You’re young and you’re gorgeous, and you’re bound to rebound after getting out of a relationship—especially one that’s lasted as long as yours did. I understood that. I just,” she sighed once again and shook her head. “I wasn’t expecting that. I figured you’d be safe for the first week or so here, because you don’t know anybody. And I figured that when you would rebound, it would be someone that was born in the same generation as you.”

I frowned deeply. I wanted so desperately to just agree with my aunt because of how easy that would have been, but at the same time doing so was going to kill me. If I had started to disagree with what she was saying already, I knew the rest of the conversation wasn’t going to go well.

“I wasn’t rebounding,” I stated while looking down at my nails. I tried my absolute best to say it without any attitude, however I’m not sure if it came across that way or not.

My aunt ran a hand through her hair. “Roxy, nobody plans on rebounding. But that’s what rebounding is—when you go and find somebody and well, you know,” she waved her hand at me, “do what you and him were doing.”

I frowned. I understood what my aunt had been saying, but I also understood that I was most definitely not rebounding with Billie. My feelings for the guy were far too strong for him to just be a rebound. I knew that my aunt would try to tell me that strong feelings for a person was just a part of rebounding, so I decided against mentioning them. I couldn’t handle it when people tried to tell me my feelings and I knew that the second my aunt started to try to convince me of what I was “really” feeling about Billie, I would snap.

“He’s the guy I met on the plane,” I stated. I knew I had already explained all of this to her, but I seriously doubted that she remembered any of it considering the fact that she hadn’t seemed to be listening to me the day before. “I went out with him a couple times last week, too,” I admitted. It was probably a stupid thing to say, but I wanted so desperately to convince my aunt that Billie wasn’t a pig that was taking advantage of me and that I wasn’t some stupid teenager. “He bumped into me in the supermarket a couple days after I got here. He found out how old I am and vice versa, but we exchanged numbers as friends and he took me out one day as a friend to show me the area.” I shrugged. “And we actually planned on being friends because we know that our age difference is quite a difference…but we like each other.” I pulled more hair to the side of my neck. “I really like him.” Truth was, I was infatuated with Billie, however I felt as if my aunt didn’t need to know just how into him I was at the moment.

My aunt looked sad after I had finished speaking and it honestly made me a bit angry. There was no reason for her to look sad. Couldn’t she tell that I was genuinely happy? While I understood that my relationship with Billie wasn’t the easiest to understand, if my aunt had showed up with a sixty year old man I wouldn’t have said a word about it. Sadie had dated plenty of guys that I had hated, and I hadn’t said a word until she had realized what assholes they were herself. Even if Billie did turn out to be the worst thing that would ever happened to me, I needed to figure that out on my own.

My aunt sighed softly and ran a hand through her blonde hair. “You actually went out with him?” My aunt asked. Her baffled tone didn’t match the sad expression on her face. “You actually put your life into his hands, Roxanne?” She shook her head slowly. “You’re trying to tell me how mature you are and how I’m seeing this all wrong, Roxanne, but as of right now I’m not able to see your side at all.”

“That’s the problem,” I snapped. I balled my hands into fists in order to calm myself down as much as possible. I felt as if I was talking to a wall. “You haven’t even attempted at seeing my side! All you’ve done is tell me how naïve and immature I am! I’m not a baby, Aunt Jen. I was walking around Brooklyn with Sadie by the time I was fifteen. I’m not trying to tell you that I’m mature but I’m asking you to have some sort of faith in me.”

My aunt’s eyebrow cocked and she tapped on her chin for a few seconds. She sighed again and looked down at her dinner that still sat half eaten in front of her. “This is a lot different than walking around a city on your own. I’m really trying, Roxanne,” she admitted. “I am. It has been on my mind the entire day, trust me. I’ve tried to look at it from every angle but none of them have convinced me that this isn’t destined for a disaster!”

“Maybe it is,” I agreed, “but if it is, let me figure it out on my own. I’m not a child anymore, Aunt Jen.”

“But you are, Roxanne,” she snapped back at me. I frowned. “That’s what’s so wrong with all of this. You’re eighteen. You are still a baby!” My aunt pressed her fingers to her temple. “You think that because you’re legally an adult you are one! You haven’t even graduated high school!” She scoffed loudly. “That’s why you were sent to stay with me, Roxanne. For me to look after you this summer. Because you are still a child.”

“Well you’re certainly doing a great job,” I snarled back at my thought. I had spoken before the words had even attempted to cross my mind or else I probably would have acted a bit more rationally. The maturity that I had been screaming about to my aunt that evening seemed to have escaped me at the moment.

My aunt’s eyes widened and her mouth shut. Her lips pursed and for a second, but only a second, I could have sworn that I saw her eyes cloud over as if she was about to cry. I felt my heart sink immediately. If I had thought for a second that apologizing for my harsh words could have undone them, I wouldn’t have hesitated to do so.

My aunt stood up from the counter. She smoothed down her outfit, turned off the television and placed her dish in the sink. “I had a long day,” she stated. I slightly nodded. “I’m going to bed, I have to be up early tomorrow.” Her eyes crawled over my body and stopped almost immediately when they had reached my neck. I swallowed thickly as she studied it. “Good night, Roxanne.”

And then she was gone.

I continued to stand awkwardly in my aunt’s kitchen for a few more minutes. A large part of me wanted to go up to my aunts room and apologize to her, however the other part of me, which was equally as large, still held too much pride to go and do so.

I turned from the kitchen and head back up the stairs to my bedroom with my phone clutched tightly in my hand as if was a stress ball rather than an expensive electronic. What a clusterfuck of a “vacation” this had been. If I had been told that all of this was going to happen as I was boarding the plane to California, I probably would have turned right around and headed back home. As much as I liked Billie, I was beginning to feel as if we were beginning to be too much trouble for each other.

Perhaps I should have just gone home.

I seemed to be stressing my aunt out beyond belief and I probably wasn’t doing much good for Billie either, considering how much backlash he was going to inevitably get when people found out about us and whatever we were. Truth be told, I wouldn’t have been all too surprised if I was woken up the next morning to my aunt packing my bags. I probably would have, too.

I stepped into my dark bedroom and tossed my bag down onto my bed carelessly. I was about to do the same to my phone, however I caught myself before it actually left my hand. Billie had told me to call him once I had arrive home, and after I had had that argument with my aunt, all I wanted to do was hear his voice. I wanted him, or somebody, anybody to tell me that what was going on was okay and normal.

I sank down onto my bed that sat in the middle of the room and after selecting Billie’s name from my electronic phonebook, I cradled my phone against my ear. The more I thought about it, the more sure I became about my aunt sending me home. I had done nothing but brought chaos into her life and then yelled at her about it.

“Pick up,” I muttered to myself as I stood up from my bed and paced around the room. I was restless. “Come on, come on, please just pick up the goddamn phone for once.” I couldn’t understand, for the life of me, why Billie’s phone seemed to work only one way. Whenever he called me, I answered, however whenever I tried to reach him, I seemed to always come up shorthanded. This was no exception.

I scowled loudly as an automated tone answered me rather than Billie’s nasal voice that I had learned to love. He had told me to call him. It wasn’t as if I had just called Billie randomly as I had done last weekend, he had told me to call him. Who tells a girl to call them after they had just spent a pretty damn amazing evening with them and then didn’t answer?

I would have hung up without leaving a message seeing as how they really weren’t my thing, however by the time I remembered to hang up the phone, my phone was already recording me. “Uhh…hey Billie it’s Roxy, I’m home and alive. I guess I’ll talk to you later.” I cringed as I clicked the end button. What a repulsively awkward message. I hoped he was too stupid to figure out his voicemail.

I placed my phone on my bed next to me and waited probably around fifteen minutes or so until I finally accepted the fact that I was not going to be cheered up by my rock star that evening and considering so, probably the healthiest thing for me to do at the moment was to attempt to get some sleep. Although I had been joking about Billie taking me to San Francisco the next day, Billie had seemed pretty adamant on it and the last thing I needed was to be a grouchy bitch if he had decided to take me.

Then again, it probably wouldn’t matter what Billie wanted to do with me the next day or ever at all since my aunt was probably going to be sending me home.

I sighed heavily as I drew back the blankets on my bed and crawled underneath them. I placed my phone not on the table next to my bed, but on the pillow next to my head. If Billie called me at all, even if it was 5am and drunk again, I wanted to make sure I would be awake for it.

It took me another hour to fall asleep that night, and for that entire hour I continued to stare at my phone while lost in thought. How in the hell had my life gotten to where it was? Back in May I had been back in Connecticut with my boyfriend that I had been with since before puberty expecting some sort of marriage proposal from him despite my age. And then there was now. Now, only a month later, I was fooling around and becoming infatuated with a guy that turned out to be a world famous rock star that was also almost twice my age and divorced with two children. On top of that, I had managed to burn my bridges with my aunt after only seeing her probably ten or so times that entire summer.

Perhaps going home would have been the best thing for me, even if that meant just ending my fling with Billie. While I knew that he had stated time and time again that he was going to follow me to New York and visit me, I took it with a grain of salt. If I could barely contact him now, how was I supposed to believe that he would be any easier to reach once I was a country away? He was a rock star, I was sure he had said something similar to another girl just as naïve as me before. In fact, hadn’t he just gotten back from New York?

I frowned into my pillow. I understood why Billie hadn’t wanted to tell me he was a rock star. I had promised not to judge him any differently than I had from just knowing him as the asshole from the plane, but I couldn’t deny that I seemed to be doing just that. Billie had explained to me that he had gone to New York to escape California once his wife had left him and his album had started to get stressful. He had blatantly told me that he had rebounded and that it had sucked. Billie was not a pig, despite how much my aunt thought the opposite. Almost at once did I feel bad for my accusing thoughts about him to the point where I actually considered calling him and apologizing. I restrained myself, however. It wasn’t like he was going to pick up, anyway.

I stared at my phone for a few more moments, praying that the screen would light up and it would begin to vibrate to say that a phone call was being received, but once nothing happened once again, I finally allowed my mind and my body to rest.

+++

I was surprised to be woken up the next morning by a soft knocking against my door. For a moment, in a daze, I stared at the door and waited for it to open but when it didn’t I just turned over and attempted falling back asleep. The knocking had begun once again however and before my mind woke up and considered what it could have been, the door was being pushed over. I hadn’t even realized how much I had expected it to be Bryan until I was disappointed that it wasn’t. It was when I realized that I was still in California and I hadn’t been dreaming that I became even more disappointed that it wasn’t Billie.

“Roxanne,” my aunt cooed. I mumbled a few incoherent words at her. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but I knew that I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep. “Roxanne, hunny, wake up.” Slowly but surely, I did what I had been told.

I propped myself up in the bed that I called my own for now and with one hand, cleared the sleep my eyes hesitantly. Once I was able to actually see and take in my surroundings did I notice my aunt standing in front of me. She was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt. I cocked an eyebrow at her unusually casual attire. “Good morning,” I greeted groggily. I frowned when I saw that the clock read 7:43 AM. Was she never a teenager?

My smile sweetly down at me and then sat down at the foot of my bed. “You should get up,” she responded. I stayed put. When she saw that I wasn’t going to get up without an explanation, she laughed. “I took the day off from work,” she stated. My eyebrows rose in surprise. “I realize that for the entire time you’ve been here, I’ve barely even seen you. I mean, we’ve had the weekend together or so, but I want to actually spend time with you. You’re my niece and I’m tired of us feeling like strangers.” She smiled. “I was thinking of going to San Francisco? I recall your parents saying that you were excited to finally be able to see it.”

I don’t mean to sound like a brat, but at the realization that my aunt would be taking me to San Francisco today rather than Billie, I was able to feel my heart plummet into my stomach. I had been ridiculously excited to go and spend the day with Billie walking around the city that day, and now not only was I not going to be able to see him at all, but he wasn’t going to be the one to take me at all. Instead I was going to go with my aunt, who was a polar opposite of me. I wouldn’t have normally minded spending a day with my aunt, but at the moment, after the last couple days, I wanted nothing more than to hide from her. Disappointed didn’t begin to explain how I felt.

I felt bad almost at once for being disappointed when my aunt had surely gone out of her way to get out of work that day. Even if I was upset, I refused to show that to my aunt. And so instead of allowing myself to look like a child that just found out they were allergic to puppies, I grinned widely at her. “Oh my god, really?” I asked. I actually sounded pretty damn good considering how I felt.

My aunt grinned back at me. “Yeah. So get up, and go take a shower. I’ll be downstairs waiting.”

“Okay,” I agreed effortlessly. Either way, although it wasn’t ideal, I was getting a day in San Francisco. I wished that my aunt hadn’t hated Billie so much so that I could even invite him and the three of us could go. “Aunt Jen, I’m sorry for what I said last night,” I apologized quietly while lifting myself from the bed.

Even if I was still angry at her for her stubbornness when it came to Billie, what I had snapped at her last night had obviously hurt her feelings, and was out of line. Truth was, my aunt had been doing a fantastic job at watching me. My parents hadn’t sent me over for her to be my babysitter, and I was relieved that she wasn’t trying to be.

My aunt waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about it. We were both tired and grouchy. Let’s just go have a good day in San Francisco.” Without another word, she excused herself from the room to allow me to get ready.

I wasn’t sure if I should have called Billie in order to let him know that I had different plans that day considering I still wasn’t sure how legitimate ours were for the day, however I decided to give him a call once I was out of the shower. Either way, it still gave me the opportunity to speak to him.

As soon as I stepped out of the shower with the towel wrapped around my body, I sat down on the edge of my bed and began to look for Billie's name in my phone. As soon as I found it, in it's usual spot right above Bryan's name, I selected it and placed the phone against my ear. As I had unfortunately expected, much like the night before, the phone rang for a good thirty or so seconds before I was greeted by his voicemail. I scowled at the automated tone and hung up. The only reason I had been calling him so early was because I wanted to be mature and didn't want to blow him off. Of course, however, I wasn't going to sit and call him multiple times if he was going to be impossible to reach. That would be on him.

I had called him once last night, and once this morning. That was it. If there had been one piece of advice that my mother had given me that I had followed the most, it had to have been to never chase a boy. While I didn't have to chase Billie, seeing as I seemed to already have him, he was impossible to contact and I wasn't going to go out of my way to do so.

Almost as soon as I placed the phone back down onto my bed and pulled a dress from the drawer in the room did my phone light up and Matthew Bellamy began to serenade me. I pulled on a pair of underwear and a bra quickly and then grabbed onto my Sidekick. Despite my aggravation, my heart skipped a beat at the name that was staring up at me. Without any hesitation, I accepted the call. "Hello?" I answered awkwardly as I back down on my bed.

"Roxy?" Billie called. He sounded exhausted, as if he had just been running.

"So this is the right number," I stated sarcastically. Billie chuckled.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," he apologized. "Half the time I don't hear the goddamn thing. Jake put it on vibrate a few days ago and I don't know how to take it off, can you show me?" My heart fluttered at how much he sounded like a lost child. "I'm sorry about last night, I passed out when you left. My sleeping patterns are all fucked up. Some nights I have to take sleeping pills to sleep, others I'm out by eight. It comes with what I do. I'm always all over the world, so my sleeping pattern doesn't exist." He sighed heavily and I imagined him running a hand through his hair. "I was just out for a run and left my phone home, I walked in to hear it buzzing on the counter. I'm sorry, sweetheart, can you ever forgive me?"

I grinned at his hint of sarcasm. "I'm not sure, I'm pretty heart broken." Billie laughed. "You go running?" I asked.

"Every morning," he answered. "Or afternoon, whenever I get up. I had a beer gut through most of my twenties, so I started running so that I don't look like the alcoholic that I am." I snorted loudly despite the fact that I didn't doubt that that was true. "Why are you up, Roxy?" He asked. "So far I've had to call to wake you up every morning."

I sighed in discontent. "It's not my doing, trust me," I mumbled. I yawned as if my words weren't enough evidence that I didn't want to be awake. "My aunt woke me up." I hesitated. "She, er, she took the day off of work." I pursed my lips and sighed. "She wants to spend the day with me. She feels bad about all of this, and wants some quality time with me."

"Ah," Billie murmured, "I understand." I went to speak, however he continued. "Wow, not even the what, second date and you're blowing me off? Hmm." I knew by his playful tone that he was far from serious and despite how disappointed I was and bad I felt, a grin crossed my face. "I'll try not to be too insulted."

I rolled my eyes. "Says the guy who never picks up when I call."

Billie laughed. "Alright, alright, fine, we're even." He paused. "So where are you two going?"

I hesitated before telling him. Truthfully, I really didn't want to tell him seeing as how bad I felt, but I wasn't going to lie over something so petty. After all, it hadn't been my doing. My aunt had been the one to suggest it and I couldn't exactly say no because I already had plans to go with Billie. "Err, I think she said she was taking me to San Francisco."

Billie gasped overly-dramatically. "Not only are you blowing me off, but you're blowing me off to do the same exact thing we were going to do. Low blow, Roxy. Low blow."

"It's not my fault," I moaned into the phone. "I won't even let us see the best parts. I'll go shopping, since she's also a woman she'll love it. It's what we bond over. Can we go tomorrow?" I offered.

"Nope, I'm sorry Roxy, this was a one day only deal." When I scowled at him, Billie laughed. "Actually, I would love nothing more than to take you tomorrow, but unfortunately I really can't. Joey has a baseball game and I'm getting the kids early because of it."

I frowned deeply as my heart sunk inside of my chest. Not only was I not going to be able to see Billie today, but for the rest of the weekend, also. I felt like a kid who had just received a pair of socks for their birthday.

"Oh," I murmured into the phone. Despite how disappointed I was, I didn't want to let Billie know. He was spending time with his kids, I had no right to be disappointed and selfish.

"You should come with me tomorrow," Billie offered.

I stared blankly at the wall in front of me as I tried to comprehend Billie's words. At first they didn't make sense. I should go tomorrow? As in, I should go with Billie to his sons baseball game? I almost laughed at the thought that that had actually been what he meant. "Come with you where?" I asked. I wondered if I sounded as stupid as I felt.

Billie clicked his tongue and I knew he was rolling his eyes at me. He knew I was going to be difficult about this. "To Joey's game," he confirmed. "Come with me, Roxy. His games are so much fun."

There wasn't any way that he was serious. I was so sure that he was screwing with me, that I actually began to laugh. Billie, however, didn't join in. "You're kidding me, right?" I asked after an awkward moment of silence after my laughter had died down. "Are you aware of what you just asked me?"

Billie chuckled. "Yes, Roxanne, surprisingly enough I know the words that come out of my mouth. I'm not kidding you. I really think you should come--I want you to come." The more he spoke about it, the more confident he sounded.

Wasn't this backwards? Didn't guys usually keep their girlfriends or friends that were girls or whatever we were from their immediate family until he basically had no choice but to introduce them? While Billie had told me before that he would love for me to meet his kids one day, I had never thought that that day would be tomorrow. Truth be told, I didn't think for even a second that I would be meeting the guys kids that summer at all. I had met Billie all of two weeks ago at most and while the two of us had indeed become rather close during the short amount of time, never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that he would even consider having me meet his kids.

"Really?" I asked stupidly. "Why?" I continued.

Billie laughed again. "I'm not as insane as you think," he stated. I begged to differ. "I think it'd be good to have you meet them right now," he admitted. "I'd rather have you meet them and have them get to know you as I do rather than just shove you on them months down the line when we're serious."

My breath caught in my throat and before I realized it, I was choking on air. I couldn't handle any of this, the man was blowing my mind. Not only was he telling me to meet his children, little people that had been created by him and his ex wife, but he had just openly spoken about being serious in the future. If I had ever even considered speaking to Bryan about the two of us for even six months in advanced, he would awkwardly change the subject. Billie was the complete 180. If anything, it broke my heart even more to hear my aunt snarl about how disgusting of a pig Billie was and how he was using me when he really did seem to want just the opposite. "Don't you think that could mess them up?" I asked hesitantly once I had regained my composure. "I mean, if you had them meet every girl that--,"

"I don't," Billie interrupted. "I don't just bring girls around them, Roxy. I've seen other girls since the divorce and they haven't met any of them." He sighed. "I can see why you're hesitant. I'm sorry if I surprised you with this. But I really want you to come."

"I don't know, Billie," I said warily, "it doesn't feel right. I would be imposing."

"It is right. You're not imposing, Roxanne, I'm inviting you--no, I'm telling you to go. Come on." The last part came out as more of a whine than anything. "It's the least you could do if you're blowing me off today."

I gasped and scowled. "Low blow."

Billie laughed. "But did it work?"

I pursed my lips and tapped a finger to my chin. Billie had had a good point when he had said that it would be smarter to introduce me to his kids while we were still friends rather than throwing me at them down the road, but I couldn't help but worry that the road wasn't much longer and it would make him look bad to his kids and his ex wife.

"If it makes you feel any better, they live with Adrienne, so they've met all the guys she's gone on dates with. They know mommy and daddy aren't together anymore, Roxy."

I frowned deeply at Billie's encouraging words that, despite their intentions, saddened me. I didn't want to be the first girl that Billie introduced to their kids. They most certainly weren't going to like the first girl that their father was with. Not to mention his ex wife, who would more than likely be there. While his kids would have no idea how old I was, I couldn't imagine that his ex wife, who was older than him would be very accepting of my age.

"I don't know, Billie," I mumbled.

Billie groaned. "Come on, Roxy. What can I say to convince you to come tomorrow? They won't bite you. They're just kids."

I wanted to argue with Billie that kids were actually notorious for biting people, however all of my thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at my door. I froze solid and it took me a few moments to stumble and greet my aunt. I grabbed onto my towel and wrapped it around my body before calling to her that she could enter the room. She stuck her head in. "Are you ready?" She cooed.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I'll be right out." I held up the phone that had been cradled against my ear to show what had been taking me so long. "I have to go, Sadie," I spoke into the phone quickly, praying that Billie would understand what I was doing.

Thankfully, he was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for. "Alright," he sighed. "Please just think about it, Roxy."

"I will," I agreed. I would probably be thinking about it the entire day.

"I wouldn't ask you to come if I didn't think it was a good move, Roxy," he murmured. "I know my kids, I'm the reason they exist," he stated with a chuckle. A grin pulled at the side of my lips. "Really consider it. I'd love to have you there with me tomorrow."

My heart melted at his words. While I would have loved nothing more than to have been there with him tomorrow, I couldn't help feeling as if I would be imposing on the rest of his family. "I'll talk to you later," I murmured.

"Have a good day, beautiful," Billie cooed.

Blood rushed to my cheeks and my heart skipped a beat. Even if Billie wasn't a rock star and didn't have girls throwing themselves at him, I didn't think for a second that he still wouldn't have women all over him. He was one charming bastard.

"Bye," I whispered back and then despite how desperately I didn't want to, I ended the call.

+++

For the most part, the day with my aunt had gone rather well. Like I had promised, although I was sure that he didn't actually care, I tried my best to restrain myself from actually sightseeing. Considering the day was being used more for bonding than sightseeing, my aunt didn't seem to notice nor care.

The ride into San Francisco had been slightly awkward considering our argument the night before and we were both still upset with each other. However, once we had gotten into the city, the tension had melted a bit and we began to get along. I knew that, no matter how well we got along, though, the big elephant in the room couldn't be avoided.

"I'm going to LA next Friday," my aunt stated once we were seated at a small cafe.

I looked up from the menu and cocked an eyebrow. I had known that my aunt commuted quite a bit a long distance, but I never really expected her to actually leave. "Oh?" I cooed.

She nodded while looking down at the menu. "Yeah, until probably Wednesday or so." My heart skipped a beat from either excitement or anxiety at the thought that I would have six or so days with Billie. Even if I wouldn't see him over the weekend because of his kids, I would still have at least two or three days with him. Alone. She paused and bit down onto her bottom lip. "You're welcome to come, you know," she added.

I shuffled in my seat. Truth to be told, even if I didn't want to stay to be with Billie, I wasn't sure that I would have taken up her invitation. Bryan was in Los Angeles. Bryan had dumped me because he was going to be in Los Angeles. The last place on the entire planet that I wanted to ever be was Los Angeles. You couldn't pay me to go to Los Angeles.

"Um," I mumbled. I looked down to intentionally avoid eye contact. "No thank you," I declined as nicely as humanly possible.

My aunt sighed. "I was afraid you'd say that," she admitted. I frowned.

"It's not what you think," I stated firmly. "It's not for--for the reason you think. Bryan, uh, Bryan lives down there," I admitted. Despite how much I didn't want to talk about him, I wanted to talk about Billie with my aunt even less. I looked back up at her and to my surprise, saw a sympathetic look upon her face.

"Los Angeles is a big city, Roxanne," she murmured.

"I know," I agreed, "but the thought of even being in the same city as him just makes me sick," I admitted. "I don't know what I would do if I ran into him while down there."

"You're going to have to face him, eventually, Roxanne. You're both from the same town. He'll be home for all the vacations."

I felt my heart drop at the thought of having to live within the same town as Bryan again. New Canaan was a very small town and almost anywhere you went at anytime would you see someone that you knew. The only way to escape that was to physically leave the town. "I know," I agreed quietly. "But I'm hoping by then I'll be stronger. It's only been a couple weeks since he dumped me. I'm beginning to pick myself up." I paused in order to choke back a few tears. Despite how fantastic of a time I had been having in California, anything to do with Bryan still hurt. There was still a rather large hole in my heart that I was pretty confident would never be filled. "I'm not okay this far away, I'd be a wreck down there."

A small, sympathetic smile pulled back my aunt's lips. She reached across the table and placed her hand on my arm in a reassuring fashion. "I understand," she admitted. She paused and bit down onto her lip. "I just," she paused and the smile slowly dropped from her face. "You don't know how much I don't want to leave you here by yourself, Roxanne."

I frowned and closed my eyes briefly in attempt to mentally prepare myself for this inevitable conversation. "I'll be fine, Aunt Jen," I said quietly. "I'm a big girl."

My aunt sighed once again and took a sip of her water. "I know you are, sweetie," she stated. I waited for her to continue, hoping that she wouldn't and that this conversation would be dropped. "It's not you I'm worried about, it's you that I'm worried for."

"That's silly," I said. I was trying to keep it as lighthearted as humanly possible.

My aunt watched me for a moment with wary eyes as if she was mapping out the rest of our conversation. She bit down onto her bottom lip and then after pursing her lips, she spoke once again. "Promise me you won't see him," she ordered.

The firmness of her tone actually surprised me. While I had expected her to attempt to take some authority while being gone, I hadn't truly expected her to order me not to see Billie. Surely she had to know that I would lie to her about it, didn't she? I hesitated for a moment and decided to take a different approach to this conversation. "That's not fair," I fought back. No matter how this turned out, I would still be seeing Billie while she was gone. What else did she think I would do? Sit and twiddle my thumbs all day?

My aunt cocked an eyebrow in surprise at my answer. Perhaps she had wanted me to lie. If I had lied to her and told her that I wouldn't be seeing Billie at all the time that she was gone, she would force herself to believe me and therefor not have to worry about a thing when going away. Now that I had been just as brutally honest as she had, however, she wouldn't be able to leave with a clear conscious. I actually felt kind of bad.

"What?" My aunt asked. She sounded baffled. "How the hell is that not fair, Roxanne? I'm letting you have my house alone for a week and you're crying that I'm not being fair?"

"I don't know anyone else here, Aunt Jen," I said in attempt to guilt her. "What do you want me to do the entire time you're gone?"

"I invited you to go with me, Roxanne," she snapped back at me. "Don't make me force you. How about you go out and meet someone of your own decade?"

I frowned deeply and sat back in my seat. My appetite had gone down the drain. I didn't want to meet anyone else my own age. I knew plenty of people that were my age. I wanted Billie. I wanted to sit out on his balcony with him again at night and not have to worry about getting home before my aunt. I wanted to fall asleep on that balcony with him and wake up to the sunrise over San Francisco. I wanted to fool around in her pool with him and make dinner for him while being comfortable. I wanted time.

"I really like him," I whispered quietly while avoiding eye contact. "I just wish you would take the time to meet him. You would feel so differently."

My aunt rolled her eyes. "I think I can be pretty confident when I say that I will never see that man as something other than a pedophile, Roxanne." She bit down onto her lip. "Don't you understand how dangerous your fling with him was to begin with? I can't even imagine what he could and would have done to you if I hadn't gotten home that day! I don't even want to think of what he could do to you if I wasn't there for a week."

It took every last ounce of self control to not snap back at my aunt and tell her how Billie had treated me the day before. How when he had been kissing me I had pushed him off and started to cry because I wasn't comfortable, and instead of flipping out and raping me as she assumed he would of course do, he comforted me and ordered chinese food for us. He had even apologized. Truth be told, I wasn't sure if I had ever seen somebody so concerned with my tears as Billie had been.

"What do I have to do to get you to stop seeing him, Roxanne?" My aunt asked with a heavy sigh. "I've thought of sending you home to get you literally as far away from him as possible, but your parents are home as much as I am, and I don't doubt for a second that you would just get yourself into a more dangerous situation over there." She ran a hand through her blonde hair. "I've considered calling your parents, but I don't want to get you into trouble. This isn't you doing something bad, this is just you being misguided."

I bit down onto my bottom lip to restrain myself from snapping at my aunt. The only thing she was going to be able to do was to just deal. Billie and I had a thing whether or not she liked it. There were plenty of things that I hated that my friends did, but I learned to just deal with them. I wasn't stupid. If Billie was dangerous, I wouldn't still be hooked on him. The guy was a rock star. It was safe to say that if he had a criminal background that involved murder, he probably wouldn't be notorious for the music he created. The guy was a hot head, but he was harmless.

My aunt laughed without any humor and rubbed her eyes. "This is why I'm not a parent, Roxanne. I knew I wouldn't be able handle situations like these. I'm not fit for this."

"He goes through internal battles with this, too," I admitted. Perhaps if I attempted to have my aunt see us through our point of view I would at least alter her opinion somewhat. "I do, too. We both had every intention to just be company for each other. It's not like I met Billie on the plane and he started hitting on me." My aunt rolled her eyes. "He didn't even give me his number when we got off. We met at a grocery store and when I told him I didn't know anyone or anything here, he offered to show me around since he's lived here his entire life."

"And you accepted," my aunt groaned. "Isn't that the first thing you're taught in every grade in every school you've gone to?"

"I knew he was harmless," I argued. "If I had suspected anything off about him, I wouldn't have gone."

My aunt frowned. "Of course you didn't suspect anything off about him, Roxanne. The only reason you're falling so blindly for this guy is because you're rebounding. You probably think he's your knight in shining armor, but he's not, Roxanne. The guy is a creep. He's going after a vulnerable eighteen year old girl." I watched as her bottom lip quivered and for a second, although it was gone so quick I wasn't sure if I had seen it at all, I could have sworn her eyes gloss over with tears. "You are a beautiful girl, and this guy is taking advantage of you. And if he isn't now, he is going to. He doesn't want what you want, Roxanne. He doesn't want a family. That's what they say."

She rolled her eyes and it was then that I became positive that she was about to cry. My heart dropped. There was just something so awful and heartbreaking about watching a family member, especially an older family member cry. I went to lift myself from my seat to run over and hug her, but she waved her hand at me to sit down. "Roxanne, this is killing me because I was you at one point in my life," she admitted. I swallowed thickly. She didn't continue for a moment and although I wanted to respect her and the fact that she was obviously upset, I wanted so desperately for her to continue.

"I had a really awful break up in college, Roxanne," my aunt started after she had taken a sip of her water. She had composed herself and had done a good job at it, too. "He cheated on me with my best friend. We had been together for four years." I bit my lip at the feeling of my heart swelling at the thought of the pain that my aunt must have felt. "I couldn't handle being in the same school as them. It killed me. It stripped me of all of my emotions--everything. So I went to Europe for the summer." She sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair. "I was really lost over there, despite how much fun I was having. I didn't know any of the languages. But thankfully, one night when I was grabbing something to eat I met a fellow American. His name was Benjamin. " She smiled grimly. "Oh, Roxanne, he was beautiful. He was such a sweetheart. He told me that he was over traveling Europe, too, because he needed to get away from America for a while. Apparently he worked on Wall Street and he said it was starting to just drain him of life." She hesitated for a moment. "He was ten years older than me. I was twenty and he was thirty. But I had the same attitude as you, I didn't care."

"So we traveled the rest of Europe together and, ugh, it was fabulous, Roxanne." She smiled at me. "It was the best time of my life. I didn't think of Alex the entire time I was there. I fell for him so deeply, Roxanne. We talked about getting married as soon as we got back. We spent a few nights mapping out the house we would have in Connecticut, or the beautiful apartment we would have in Manhattan." Her eyes filled with tears once again, however the sad smile on her face left me wondering whether they were tears of pain or not. I knew either way that this story was going to end tragically. My heart quivered at the sad smile that crossed my aunt's face. As quickly as it came, however, it left. "And then the last night we were there, he raped, beat me, took my plane ticket and left."

I choked on my breath at my aunt's last sentence and although I managed to clear my throat, I still felt as if I couldn't breathe. I had always heard of people being "date raped" at parties and as horrible as it sounds, I had heard of a few girls who had had it happen to them at parties that I had even been to, however none of those claims or stories had hit as close to home as my aunt's. All of a sudden, the last few days made complete sense to me. I saw why my aunt loathed Billie with all of her being and although I didn't agree with her, I saw exactly where she was coming from. I was no longer angry at my aunt for wanting to keep Billie away from me, but rather almost thankful. What she was doing wasn't out of spite. It was from a genuine heart.

"I am," I finally mustered up. It didn't take me long to start stumbling over my words, however. "Aunt Jen, I'm...I am so, so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, sweetheart," she cooed at me from across the table. She looked up at the ceiling to stop tears from leaking from her beautiful eyes. "I'm not telling you this for you to be sorry. I want you to understand why I can't fathom the idea of you wanting to see him." She shook her head slowly. "They're all sweethearts when you first meet them, Roxanne."

I didn't want to argue with my aunt, especially not after what she had confessed to me. However, despite her horrible story, I still couldn't help but to disagree with her about Billie. That wasn't Billie. The guy had cried to me the night before about his fathers death. He had had a wife and kids. He wasn't a rapist. He had such a genuine heart.

"I know I'm not going to convince you to stop seeing him no matter how hard I try, Roxanne," my aunt admitted. "I'm not naive, I know that. Don't you think that when I called home every once in a while to say hi to my friends and family they didn't flip out at me telling me to stop seeing him, also?" She shook her head. "I didn't tell my parents, of course, but I did tell your father. And he begged me to stop seeing him just as I am begging you. And I know, because you are exactly like me, that you will lie to me and tell me that you're going to stop seeing him, and then the second I turn my back you'll be in his arms." A small, sympathetic smile crossed her face. "And I don't blame you, Roxanne. I know I yell at you, and scream at you, and have been the biggest bitch to you, but I'm not angry at you, nor do I blame you. I know how you feel, sweetheart. I know you think this guy is the best thing that's ever happened to you."

I didn't quite think that Billie was the best thing to ever happen to me, but at the same time I also considered the fact that he had the potential to be.

"I keep telling myself that I need to stop and let you figure this all out on your own, but I am terrified that this is going to happen to you, because I will be the one to blame."

I shook my head furiously at my aunt's words. "No, oh my god, no--,"

"I will," she argued. "Because I could send you home, and I could call your parents to stop it from happening, and if I don't I'm allowing it to happen."

"You're letting me grow up," I argued desperately. "Calling my parents, or--or sending me home, that won't do any good."

"I know," she admitted. She sighed heavily. "I just look back and wish that I had had someone to send me home the day I met him, but I also know that I wouldn't have listened or gone, just like you won't." She ran a hand over her face and wiped at her eyes. "I can't condone this, Roxanne. I will never support what's going on between the two of you." A small, sad smile pulled at her lips. "But I beg of you, I beg of you to be careful. If you ever end up in a situation that shakes you, even the slightest bit, no matter where I am or who you are with, please call me."

"I will," I agreed quietly. And I wasn't just saying it to get my aunt to shut up. Although before this summer I had spoken to my aunt perhaps once or twice my entire life, I had never felt as close to anyone as I had to her at the moment. My aunt was by far the strongest person in my life and I knew that even when I went back to Connecticut, I would be able to look to her for anything.

I hesitated for the moment before I lifted myself from the chair in the cafe and went over to where my aunt was seated in hers. She stared up at me in confusion from her seat, however once she understood what I was doing, she smiled and stood up also and embraced me. For the first time in the past few days, all of the tension that had amounted between my aunt and I had finally begun to cease to exist and my aunt and I began to actually bond.

The rest of the day with my aunt had gone surprisingly well. I had decided to stop trying to avoid sight seeing with my aunt in order to spare it for when I was with Billie once I had realized that I was nearly positive that he really wouldn't have given a damn what I saw or not. While I was sure that he would probably take me to all of the same places as my aunt, going with him would still be a completely different experience than when I was there with her.

For the rest of the day Billie's name hadn't left either of our lips, but instead she told me stories about almost every street we were on while asking me about my life at the same time. I had learned more about my aunt in the ten or so hours that we had wandered around San Francisco than I had throughout the entirety of my life. My aunt was actually an incredible person once you got to know her. I had always assumed that she was prudish and even somewhat stuck up despite her sweet demeanor because she hadn't been married and had moved away from the rest of our family to California, but the more time I spent with her, the more I began to wish that I could live out in California with her.

When we had gotten home that night, which was surprisingly late at midnight, my aunt and I had sat downstairs for what had to have been anywhere from a half hour to an hour before she finally turned in once remembering that she still had to be up early the next morning. She had given me a tight hug and had actually thanked me for having such an amazing day with her before she ascended the stairs to her bedroom. I followed suit not too long after.

When I had gotten into my room I placed my purse and my phone on the small table next to my bed. After I had changed into my pajamas and slipped into the bed, I picked up my phone in order to plug it in, however before I actually connected it to the wire, I decided to attempt to call Billie. I knew he wouldn't answer, especially at this hour seeing as it was one o'clock in the morning, but I figured it was worth a try.

I had spent every second that I could that afternoon contemplating on whether or not to go to Billie's sons baseball game the next day, however as I lied in bed that night, I still found myself inconclusive. While a large part of me wanted to go in order to spend time with Billie, an equally large part of me wasn't ready to meet his kids. They were his kids. After seeing the way Billie's eyes shone so proudly at even the thought of them, the thought of meeting them was quite intimidating.

I selected Billie's name from the list of recently called contacts and after rolling my eyes at myself for bothering to even attempt to contact him, I placed the phone against my ear.

The phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Four...

"Good evening, Miss Watson," Billie greeted.

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice and my body tensed in excitement at the realization that Billie had actually answered the phone. I suppose I hadn't realized just how much I had wanted to speak to him until he had answered.

"Wow," I answered, "are you aware that it was me calling you?"

"Ha, ha," Billie mock laughed. I grinned. "What are you doing awake? Isn't it past your bed time?"

"I actually just got in," I stated proudly.

"Really?" Billie asked. He actually sounded surprised. "So how did it go? I'm surprised you're still calling me and she hasn't convinced you otherwise."

"It actually went well," I admitted. "We bonded a lot. It's a really long story."

"I'm glad," he murmured. "Did you have a good day? Where did you two go?" A lovesick smile crossed my face at how genuinely interested he sounded in my day. I don't believe Bryan had ever been as interested in anything I had done when he wasn't around, especially if it had been done with my family. I wondered if my aunt had fallen for Benjamin at the same rate I was falling for Billie, because there was absolutely no way that this was sane or safe.

"We went all over," I said. "I saw Alcatraz. I've wanted to see it since I learned about it in elementary school. It's such an amazing building," I gushed.

Billie chuckled. "Did you tour it?"

I frowned. Tickets had been sold out when we had gone to, and it had been getting too late. I had been disappointed, but I had hidden it from my aunt as to not make her feel bad. It wasn't her fault. "No," I mumbled.

"Good, that's something I can take you to do when we go."

I bit down on my lip while my heart fluttered in my chest. I wondered if there was ever going to be a day where I wouldn't swoon over Billie like a lovesick puppy. "So you're still taking me?" I asked.

"That depends," Billie quipped, "are you coming with me tomorrow?"

I groaned audibly at Billie's conditioning. It seemed that whether or not I truly wanted to go with him to the game the next day, I was going to be forced to. I bit down onto my lip as I quickly racked my brain trying to recall the pro's and cons of going that I had come up with throughout the day. Unfortunately, due to how much Billie shook me up, I was unable to make any conclusions at all. "Don't--don't you think we're moving too fast?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to insult him. It wasn't that I was uncomfortable with how fast we were going, but rather I wasn't sure how comfortable others would be.

Billie chuckled. "I'm not asking you to fuckin' marry me, Roxy. Just come to a baseball game and meet my kids." He sighed. "Roxanne, as of right now I have you for three weeks. If we're lucky, I get you for like what, three months? If I'm making you uncomfortable, tell me. I'm sorry. I just don't want to put you on that plane in September and have a big long list of shit I wish I had done with you."

"I'm not uncomfortable," I argued. It was true. I wasn't uncomfortable at all. Perhaps I got a bit nervous around him at times, but that was only because I liked him so much that it scared me. "I'm worried that other people, like your kids will be uncomfortable."

"Mmm," Billie hummed. "Well, for all they know, I could have been seeing you for six months. But, I was considering this, and if it'll make you feel better, I was thinking to just introduce you as a friend tomorrow." Before I could respond, he quickly added in, "if you don't mind."

I thought for a moment while chewing on my lip. While it sounded as Billie was worried that he insulted me, I liked the idea. I couldn't be angry, nor would he be lying because wasn't that technically what we were? Even if we weren't, I saw no harm in telling his kids that if he didn't. "That could work," I agreed slowly.

"Really?" Billie asked. He sounded surprised.

"I'd rather that, actually," I admitted. "I feel like they'll hate me less if you tell them that I'm just your friend."

Billie snorted loudly. "Oh stop it. Roxanne, I could go up to them tomorrow and tell them that you're my new wife and they'd love you. You're an amazing girl and they're great kids. If I didn't think this was a good idea, I wouldn't be begging you to come." He paused. "So...does that mean you're going to stop being stubborn and come with me tomorrow?"

I scowled loudly at him. "I'm not being stubborn, I'm being responsible."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you're being, you're finally coming with me?"

I groaned loudly and slid my hand down over my face as I attempted to list the pros and cons again before I gave Billie a final decision, however I had a feeling that no matter what I ended up telling Billie tonight, he'd eventually force me to join him. And so I finally conformed. "Yeah, fine, I'll go."

Billie exhaled loudly what sounded like a sigh of relief. "Thank fucking god, Jesus Christ. You're so goddamn impossible, shit." I laughed at his bitter mutters. "Now that you've said yes you can't back out. I'm serious, Roxy. I'll show up at your aunt's house tomorrow morning to get you whether I hear from you or not."

I giggled. "I'll meet you at your house, just in case my aunt comes home again, I can tell her I'm out." Although I personally believed that while my aunt would never support our relationship, she wasn't going to go out of her way to stop it anymore, I still wanted to play it safe. It felt wrong to shove it in her face.

"Fine," Billie agreed. "But if you're not here by eleven, I'm coming to get you."

"Eleven?" I asked in shock. It was a kids baseball game on a Thursday morning? I had never heard of that early of games before, especially on a weekday for little kids.

"Yes, eleven. I want to see your cute ass here by eleven tomorrow morning."

I blushed profusely at his comment, however ignored it. "That's so early," I whined.

"Roxanne," he said in a warning tone. "You blew me off today, it's the least you could do."

I laughed only because I knew he wasn't actually upset and didn't really consider what happened today as me blowing him off. "Is this going to be held against me for forever?"

"It's going to be held against you for as long as it gets things done," Billie answered.

I rolled my eyes. It wasn't as if he actually had to use anything against me to get me to spend time with him or do anything related to him. Even at times like such, if I was hesitant about doing something, I'd more than likely be swayed to do whatever resulted in me spending time with him. I was hooked.

"Go to sleep, Roxy," Billie cooed. "It's one thirty in the morning, and I need you up bright and early to be here."

While I would have preferred to just skip sleep altogether and stay on the phone with him until I left for his house the next morning, I decided that attempted that probably would have come off as creepy and decided to listen to him. "Fine," I agreed begrudgingly. "You, too. What are you even doing awake? And sober?"

Billie laughed. "You put ideas in my head, Roxy," he said, "I've been writing. I think I may actually have something. An idea, at least." He paused. "And I waiting for you to call," he added quietly. I bit down on my lip while my cheeks began to burn. "Alright, go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, beautiful."

I wish I had had enough confidence to respond with something just as sweet as he had, such as goodnight, handsome, or really anything, however all I was able to muster up was, "Goodnight Billie, sweet dreams."

And with a response of "you, too, darling," he was gone, and I was left alone with my thoughts that were full of worst case scenarios that I prayed I would not experience.