Roxanne

By eleven o’clock the next morning, I had been up, showered, and standing at Billie’s doorstep wearing a pair of denim shorts and a white v-neck t-shirt with a dress clutched in my hand.

When I had woken up that morning, I had been surprised by just how warm it was that morning and decided to dress a little more for the weather and occasion by wearing a pair of shorts and a regular t-shirt. I didn’t want to wear one of my dresses that either had thin or no straps since I was going to be around children, however I brought one just in case Billie thought the shorts were too short. I didn’t want to be dressed skimpily in front of his children.

I stood on his doorstep for about ten or so minutes without any sign of life coming from inside the house and it was when I was beginning to get discouraged and was about to head back to my car that I heard the sound of footsteps behind me on the path. I turned around just in time to be met with a pair of sweaty lips.

“Sorry,” Billie apologized. He pulled the headphones he had been wearing from his ears and lifted the sunglasses he had been wearing to the top of his head. I grinned at the sight of the sweaty mess that was standing before me. It would be a lie to say that I didn’t find men that worked out insanely attractive. Considering the fact I had dated an athlete my entire life, I couldn’t help but to swoon over a sweaty man after a workout. “I didn’t realize what time it was, I was gone for a lot longer than I thought.”

I couldn’t be angry with him, not with how good he currently looked. I could pretend, however. “Hmm,” I hummed as he let us into his castle, “you could be late, but I was threatened if I was even a minute late.”

Billie laughed and waved a hand dismissively at me as he kicked off his pair of Nikes. “I was being nice and giving you a few extra minutes. I’m surprised you’re actually here.”

I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed once he saw. “You threatened me to the point where I was afraid to not be here,” I pointed out begrudgingly. “I didn’t exactly have much of a choice.”

Billie snorted loudly and grabbed onto my waist. Before I could protest, considering what a sweaty mess he was, he pulled my body against his and pressed a kiss against my lips. My motivation to push the gross man away had been forgotten for the moment as my arms found themselves around his neck. “What can I say, I like to keep you on your toes,” he stated through a childish grin. Another kiss.

I stuck my tongue out at him when we parted. “You also guilted me a lot. That was unnecessary.”

Billie laughed loudly at my pouting and pressed another kiss to my lips. Despite trying my best to continue to at least pretend to be angry with him, I melted against them once again. “I was just trying to get you to hang out with me today, Roxy,” he cooed while looking up at me from under his lashes like a child who had just been caught doing something wrong. He pushed out his bottom lip. “I just wanted to see you and you were making it hard.”

It was almost insufferable how well he was at making me feel guilty. “I was trying to be responsible,” I retorted.

Billie rolled his eyes at me and shook his head. He slid his hand into my own and began to lead me down the hall to I assumed the kitchen. “You were being a pain in the ass.” When I scoffed, he giggled. “You worry too much about everything. By the end of the summer you’re going to be as irresponsible as I am.”

I stuck my tongue out at him only to have him do it back. “I’m going to go take a shower,” Billie stated once we had arrived in the kitchen. He grinned wolfishly at me. “You’re more than welcome to join, if you’d like.”

I felt my cheeks burn at Billie’s provocative offer. I was just getting used to him making minor passes at me, not anything like this. If he kept this up my cheeks were going to be permanently red. “I just showered, but I’ll keep that in mind.”

Billie laughed at my nervous decline of his invitation. He reached over and kissed my lips and then was gone. He returned only about fifteen or so minutes later with his damp blonde hair matted down to his head. On his torso he wore a red band t-shirt while on his hips sat a black pair of shorts.

“What time is the game?” I asked Billie as he led me through the door outside and pushed me down into a lawn chair. It was quite evident that he had had no plans to be leaving his castle anytime soon.

“Mmm,” he hummed while sliding down into the chair next to me. “2:30,” he admitted.

I scowled at him. “Why am I here at eleven then?” I asked.

Billie rolled his eyes. “Oh poor baby, did Billie make you get up at a reasonable hour this morning?” He sarcastically cooed. I pursed my lips into a pout and folded my arms. Billie giggled at my pathetic attempt to be angry with him. “I wanted to spend time with you before the brats are here,” he stated. He laughed when I gasped at what he had referred to his children as. “What?” He asked with a chuckle. “They are brats. I love them, though.”

“My father calls me a brat all the time,” I admitted.

Billie laughed. He kissed my temple. “That’s because you are most definitely a brat.” I scowled at him and he giggled. “So tell me about yesterday,” he started. “How did it go with your aunt?” I told Billie about the entire day I had shared with my aunt, including her horrible tale about the guy she had fallen in love with. It seemed that what my aunt had told us had had an effect on both of us. “Well,” Billie mumbled, “I guess I can see why she hates me,” he admitted. He frowned. “I’m not a piece of shit like that, though, Roxanne, you know that, right?”

“I do,” I agreed. Truth was I really had no clue, much like my aunt didn’t, but despite what my aunt had warned me, I was still choosing to give Billie a chance and trust him anyway. I was in far too deep to have done anything but.

“Good,” Billie mumbled against my lips. “So what do you think this all means when it comes to the three of us?” He asked.

I shrugged. “I think she accepted that she can’t actually stop me from seeing you. She’s not really embracing it, but she’s not going to go out of her way to attempt to stop it, either. She knows she can’t.” Billie grinned. I decided against tell him about my aunt going away next week until I was sure that I actually wanted him to know. While I loved nothing more than spending my time with Billie, the thought of actually being alone with him still frightened me. A rather large part of me knew it was because of my aunt’s story. I knew that Billie wasn’t going to even attempt to take advantage of me, but at the same time I also couldn’t shake what my aunt had told me.

I sighed inwardly and pushed the unnecessary thoughts from my mind. If I decided to let Billie in on the fact that I was going to have complete freedom from my aunt along with her house to myself, I would have more than enough time to tell him. I didn’t need to decide or worry about any of it then.

It was until about 2:00 that Billie and I had continued to bum around his house, spending most of our time mainly by his pool. There was a lot of talking about nonsense, and an equal amount of making out. It seemed as if we had picked up exactly where we left off the other night when I had been forced to leave.

“Shit,” Billie mumbled when he took his phone out to look at the time. “We have to go,” he groaned. I felt my heart skip a beat at the thought of what we were going to. I wanted so desperately to just continue what we had been doing all morning. For a moment I considered trying to seduce Billie into doing so, but then realized that it was probably not the best idea. He slid out from underneath my body and once standing up and stretching, he helped me up also. “See,” he cooed as he led me through his house. He paused to lock a struggling Rocky in the kitchen. “Aren’t you glad you got up early to be with me?”

I shrugged. “I guess I’m not disappointed.”

Billie scowled and flashed me the middle finger as he fastened the gate to keep Rocky from getting out. I gasped at his vulgar motion and then began to laugh. He lead me throughout his castle and then after slipping on a pair of black and white converse, down the black BMW that was beginning to actually be familiar. We had only just made it out of his gated driveway and down the street when his Blackberry, which he had placed in the cup holder in the middle console, began to go off.

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat when they fell upon the name that had lit up the screen of Billie’s phone: Adrienne. I swallowed thickly. While Billie had told me that we were going to see his son’s baseball game, it had never actually occurred to me who may have been there with us. His ex wife’s name had never even crossed my mind when thinking about whom I was about to meet and spend my day with. Surely there was no way Billie was really going to make me meet his ex wife on top of his sons without preparing me? That would be too cruel, even for him.

“Ah, shit,” Billie muttered. He glanced at the clock and then at me. “We were supposed to be there by two.” I looked over at the clock on the dashboard, which now read 2:15. He hesitated while looking at the name, then rolled his eyes, sighed heavily and answered. “Hey, Adie,” he greeted. I tried my best to not eavesdrop on their conversation, however there’s only so much that I could do considering I was sitting less than a foot away from the guy in a small car. From the phone, I faintly heart a woman’s voice. She didn’t sound pleased. “We’re almost there,” he stated into the phone that was cradled against his ear. “Alright, well tell him that I’m on my way and I didn’t forget about him. Alright. Bye.”

I cocked an eyebrow while looking over at Billie as he hung up his cell phone. He rolled his eyes. “I knew she’d be pissed. The game doesn’t even start until 2:30, but god forbid I’m not there a half hour early.”

I frowned. “Is, uh, is she there?” I asked lamely.

Billie’s ranting stopped for a moment in order for him to process what I had said. He then nodded. “Yeah,” he answered nonchalantly while bobbing his head up and down. “They’re her kids, too, y’know,” he stated through a grin. He obviously didn’t find Adrienne’s presence as big of a deal as I had.

I frowned. He hadn’t told me that his ex wife would be attending the game. While I suppose that I should have anticipated the mother of his kids to have attended the game, I truly had given it no thought. Perhaps I had blocked it out on purpose.

“You didn’t tell me that,” I stated boldly.

The smile on Billie’s face began to falter. He looked slightly worried. “Well, y’know, I figured you would have figured she would be there.”

I groaned inwardly and pressed the palm of my hand to my forehead while closing my eyes. Meeting Billie’s kids was enough, in fact, almost too much for me to handle for the day, never mind meeting his ex wife. While his kids were more than likely going to be skeptical of me, there was no way that his ex wife was going to be accepting at all. I was an eighteen year old girl that was seeing her ex husband. She would going to chew me up and spit me out.

“Does she know?” I choked out. I was almost positive that I was going to cry. I was even more positive that I was shaking. “A-about me?”

“Of course,” Billie answered. He glanced away from the road and to me repeatedly. The worried expression on his face was growing. “I wouldn’t surprise her with that, Roxanne.”

“What’d she say?” I asked boldly. I probably didn’t want to know.

Billie smiled at me. “She asked me what the fuck I was thinking,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle. I choked. His ex wife already hated me and he was bringing me to meet her? Was he mental? “But I explained everything to her. She thinks I’m an asshole, but promised me she wouldn’t make any judgments.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t really give a fuck about what she thinks. She’s my ex-wife, Roxy, not my mother. Most of the guys she’s seen after me have been chumps, so I don’t really give a fuck about her opinion.”

“I don’t want to meet her,” I stated. It was stupid. I didn’t have much of an option anymore considering the baseball field was within sight now and we were already late.

“Roxy, sweetheart, it’ll be fine.” I shook my head vigorously and tilted my head back in the seat. My heart was thumping louder than the drums at any rock concert. I could feel my heartbeat speeding up and was trying my best to ignore it, however it wasn’t working very well for me. “Jesus, Roxy, calm down,” Billie gasped. I felt the car veer off of the road and was vaguely aware of Billie pulling over. “Don’t give yourself an anxiety attack, sweetheart.”

“I’m not ready for this,” I admitted through hollow breaths. “I’m sorry, but I’m really not. I can’t do this, Billie.” I attempted to inhale deeply, but came up short. I loathed hyperventilating mainly because it never went unnoticed. Whenever someone started to hyperventilate, it was always the end of the world. “I’m barely ready to meet your kids, but I can’t meet your ex wife.”

Billie unbuckled his seatbelt and threw the door to the driver’s side open. In a daze I watched him go around the nose of the car and then pull open the door to the passengers side. He knelt down so that he was at the same height as I was sitting in his car, and pulled my body against his own. “Roxy, they’re just people,” he cooed into my ear while rubbing the back of my neck soothingly with his thumb. He chuckled. “Christ, I’m the celebrity here, I’m the one you should be fuckin’ nervous about meeting, not them.”

Despite the tears that were running down my cheeks, and the mental breakdown that I was currently having, I laughed into Billie’s shoulder. Billie cradled me against his torso for a few more minutes until I managed to regain my composure. When my breathing had finally evened out, he gently pushed my body back so that he could see my face. He smiled when he spotted my tear-stained cheeks and gently rubbed his thumb over then to clear the tears. “If you really want to go home, Roxy, I’ll bring you home,” he offered, “but just know that I’m willing to do almost anything to get you to come with me today. I promise you that it won’t suck. This is in your head. They’re fucking kids, Roxanne, not piranhas that can smell fear.” I giggled quietly as Billie’s description.

“You owe me big time,” I mumbled while wiping at my cheeks.

Billie grinned widely. “Thatta’ girl,” he mumbled. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against my forehead, and then on my lips. After making sure that I was alright, he rounded the car and climbed back into the driver’s side. He reached over and linked the fingers of the hand that he wasn’t using to drive with one of my hands, “If Adrienne is rude to you, I’ll call her a bitch in front of my own kids, alright? That’s how confident I am that everything is going to be fine.” He leaned over and kissed me sweetly. I savored it.

“Fine,” I sighed slowly. I ran the hand that wasn’t clutching his thrown my red hair slowly while taking a deep breath. After making sure I was alright one last time, Billie started the car and continued to the baseball field that was only five minutes away at most from where I had had my meltdown.

Once we had gotten to the baseball field Billie had give my hand one last reassuring squeeze and then removed himself from the car. I went to get out of the car on my own, however by the time I had taken off my belt, Billie had already pulled open the door and was sticking out a hand for me to take to help me out.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Billie asked when I was standing. He placed both of his hands on my shoulders and connected his beautiful eyes with my own. A nervous smile spread across my lips. I nodded slowly and shrugged.

“I mean, she can’t react much worse than my aunt, can she?” I asked with a hopeful smile.

Billie laughed and slid his hands from my shoulders to cup my cheeks and pull my head towards his so that he could kiss me sweetly. When he pulled away, there was still a smile on his face. He slid his hand into my own and after making sure his car was locked, he began to lead me in the direction of the field and the metal bleachers that I assumed we would be sitting in that afternoon.

The bleachers were surprisingly full for an early Thursday afternoon. I had gone to a few little league games back in Connecticut because of friends younger siblings, and the turnout had never been as nice. Most of the time there were nannies at the games, not actual families. When I had done sports when I was younger, my parents only ever went to the games on the weekends when they were home. It wasn't that they didn't care about me or my games, just that they had other obligations. The east coast, especially around New York, was too busy for such petty things such as a kids baseball game. It was refreshing to see that not all of the country took parenting so lightly.

Billie paused at the bottom of the bleachers and from underneath his sunglasses looked at all of the people sitting in front of us. I did the same as him, however I had no idea who I was looking for. My eyes ghosted over a few young, beautiful women's faces, faces that I was praying didn't belong to Billie's ex wife. None of them looked friendly. My attention had been suddenly grabbed from the unfriendly faces of the women closest to us to a hand that was waving up towards the other side of the bleachers. The hand belonged to a woman with dark hair, and small boy seated next to her.

Billie waved back. I felt as if I was going to be sick.

"Ready?" Billie asked.

I meant to nod my head to tell Billie that I was in fact ready, and that I wasn't nervous about meeting his ex wife and his family, although I wasn't sure if my head ended up moving at all. My body, however, did. "Oh my god, Roxy," Billie gasped. He looked up back to where Adrienne sat, held up a finger as if to motion one minute and then gently pulled me to behind the bleachers and out of sight. He pushed me up against the metal pole of the bleachers and placed his hands on my shoulders as he had done when we had gotten out of the car. "Calm down, sweetheart," he cooed. I hadn't even realized that I had been shaking until Billie had begun to attempt to stop me.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. The embarrassment I had felt on the plane when I had woken up to practically smothering Billie didn't compare to how I felt at the moment. I was mortified. I was such a baby. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever that I should have been shaking as much as I had been at the moment. "I just," I shook my head, "you don't understand how terrifying this is, Billie."

A warm smile melted across his face. "You're building it all up in your head, Roxy. Adrienne isn't a bitch. She's not going to say anything nasty to you. I've told her about us. No, she doesn't necessarily understand, but neither do we, right?" He asked with a chuckle. Despite the feeling that I was going to vomit, a smile tugged at my lips. "This is what breaking up is, Roxy. I'm sure you'll meet someone that Bryan will be seeing someday, too," I winced and Billie kissed me sweetly. I didn't even want to think of seeing Bryan with any other girl, ever. Even if Billie meant the world to me, even the thought of Bryan looking at another girl was too much for my heart.

"But I'll hate her," I argued. Billie grinned. "Just like she's going to hate me."

"No," Billie argued. Another kiss. "Because that's what moving on is, Roxy. I don't expect you to have moved on from Bryan right now, but in time you will. And you'll meet whoever he's with and you'll be happy for him because you're happy."

I felt my heart drop at Billie's words. While I knew he was trying to comfort me, and tell me that Adrienne and him had moved on and therefor she would like me if anything for Billie, I also felt quite horrible at the fact that Billie seemed to think that I hadn't moved on. Truth be told, if Bryan had appeared at that baseball game and had asked for me back, I would have chosen Billie in a heart beat. The feelings Billie gave me were indescribable.

I was just a clusterfuck of feelings.

"Are you okay, now?" Billie asked with a smile. I smiled back at him. "No hyperventilating again?"

"I'm sorry," I mumbled while avoiding eye contact. My cheeks began to burn in embarrassment. "I get really bad anxiety sometimes."

Billie chuckled. He pulled my body from where I had been resting against the bleacher and into his arms. I welcomed his embrace and buried my head into his neck. He kissed the side of my head. "You don't have to explain to me, Roxy," he stated, "I get panic attacks."

"You do?" I asked in surprise as he began to lead me back to the front of the bleachers. He had released me out of his hold, however picked my hand back up. While I totally expected Billie to be a hot head, he seemed so calm otherwise. I couldn't imagine Billie having an actual panic disorder.

"Not too frequently," he stated with a shrug. He was so nonchalant about the whole thing to the point where I almost didn't believe him. "But they do happen. They're pretty rough. It happens to all of us." He squeezed my hand reassuringly. "We're all a little fucked up, kid." His eyes met my own briefly. He winked at me while a smile tugged at his lips and with one last squeeze of my hand, he began to ascend the stairs of the bleachers.

If I hadn't known that the pretty lady with perhaps the most hair I'd ever seen that had been waving to us was in fact Adrienne, I quickly learned that we were in the right place due to the scream of "Daddy" and the small child that had jumped down from his seat that came sprinting towards the man that stood between the two of us. Without missing a beat, Billie bent down and scooped the small boy up into his arms. I stared in awe. Before me was a small boy that Billie seemed to love more than life itself. A small boy that wouldn’t be alive if it hadn’t been for Billie. While I had always been more than aware that Billie was a father, it never really dawned on me until that moment what exactly that had meant. Billie had helped create two people, one of which I was currently about to meet. It was mind boggling.

"Hey buddy," he greeted while hugging the small boy close to him. The boy giggled in his fathers arms. "How's it going?"

"Good," his son replied. "You're late."

Billie chuckled and ruffled his sons hair. "I'm on time for me. Is your mom mad?" The boy nodded and Billie laughed. He turned slightly and looked over at me over the shoulder that his son wasn't resting on and smiled. Except he was beaming rather than just smiling. I had known that Billie adored his children, but the look on his face expressed an emotion that was so much greater than love. It made my heart flutter.

"Jake, I want you to meet someone," Billie started. I bit down on my lip as I tried to keep my emotions in check. Everything was going to be okay, the kid was going to like me. Billie knew his kids, for christsakes he made them, he would know whether or not they would like me. He wouldn’t have brought me there if he didn’t think it was going to go well.

The small child's eyes met my own and I felt my breath get caught in my throat. His resemblance to Billie was uncanny. He had a head full of short, shaggy dark hair which I assumed Billie would also have had he not dyed it blonde and such an adorable small face. I assumed that Adrienne had brown eyes due to the fact that it looked as if his son had inherited those rather than Billie’s green ones. A small smile tugged at the child’s pink lips as we were both introduced to each other.

“This is Roxanne,” Billie continued. His eyes flickered up from his son and to me. He smiled at me and winked. “She’s daddy’s new friend.” I waved awkwardly at Jakob and was pleasantly surprised when he waved back. In fact, I was almost positive that my heart skipped a beat. Perhaps Billie had been right and the tragedy of this day really was all my imagination.

“Is she your best friend?” Jake asked.

A small bubble of laughter rose in my throat, however I managed to suppress it. Billie didn’t, though. He chuckled at his sons words and looked back to me in amusement. “More or less,” he answered easily. I blushed, although it went unnoticed by the small child. He probably didn’t even know what blushing was.

“Can she be my best friend, too?” Jake asked his father. I nearly choked on my own saliva at the innocent question that had completely blindsided me. By that point, I was positive that I was shaking, I had just begun to pray that the kid hadn’t noticed it. This was far too much for me to handle.

Billie grinned at his son that was now starting to squirm and he let him down from his arms . “Well, why don’t you ask her?”

Billie’s eyes met my own and he chuckled at the pleading look I was giving him. The fact that I had to meet his kid was more than enough for me to currently handle, talking to him was an entirely different story. Billie, despite understanding what I had been trying so desperately to communicate to him without words, only continued to attempt to get Jakob and I to speak to each other.

Jakob looked up at me and with one of his hands balled into a fist against his mouth, he murmured quietly, “will you be my friend, too?”

“I don’t think she can hear you, buddy,” Billie cooed. I glared at him and he grinned playfully up at me.

“Uh,” I choked awkwardly. My heart was pounding to the point where I thought Billie’s ex wife, who at that point I noticed was staring down at us from the other end of the bleachers with her lips pursed, could hear it. The anxiety that I had felt from the thought of meeting Billie’s son was back, and far worse. While Jakob was an oblivious child, I was sure that Adrienne knew what kind of friends Billie and I were. I could almost feel the judgment radiating off of her. She wasn’t going to like me, and while I couldn’t blame her, it only made the thought of actually meeting her somehow more terrifying. At the moment, I couldn’t think of anything that I wanted to do less than meet the former Mrs. Armstrong. “I, uh, of course, I would love to be your friend.”

An infectious grin took over Jakobs face. He took a few small steps forward and held out his arms at me. It took me a few seconds to understand and accept the fact that the child was looking for a hug from me. As soon as I realized what the small boy was waiting for, I bent down and accepted and returned the hug that he had been offering. I looked up at Billie over the small boy’s shoulder and felt my heart melt at the expression on his face. Quite honestly, he looked as if he was about to cry. I imagine that he had to have been at least as relieved as I had been. “Do you like video games?” He asked when we parted.

“I’ve played them before,” I answered with a shrug.

“Will you play with me at dads house?” He asked. “We have Mario Kart. I’m really good at it and Joey gets mad and never lets me be the dinosaur. If you let me be the dinosaur I’ll play with you.”

I giggled at the small child’s rambling and nodded. I hadn’t really given the rest of that afternoon much of a thought until that moment. I suppose that I had assumed that I would have left Billie’s home after the game to allow him to spend time with his sons. “That sounds like a plan.”

Jakob grinned widely up at me and without so much as a second thought, he turned and ran back to Adrienne, who was still watching us with her lips still pursed. I would have done almost anything to have been able to read her mind at the moment, although at the same time I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to know what she thought about me. She didn’t look nearly as friendly as Billie had promised me she was.

“Christ, Roxy, you’re still shaking,” Billie gasped as soon as his son was out of earshot. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I told you he didn’t bite.”

“Your ex wife looks like she does,” I muttered into his shoulder. Billie snorted.

“Don’t be afraid. She’s all bark, no bite.” Billie pulled away from my body. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss sweetly, yet reassuringly against my lips. “Come on, Roxy. You’re going to make it, I promise.”

It wasn’t as if I had had much of a choice because within only a matter of seconds, Billie was leading me down the bleachers to where his ex wife still stood and his son now sat. As I got closer to Adrienne, I noticed that the dark brown hair that had been piled on her head was actually neatly formed dreadlocks that had were piled on her head. She wore a black v-neck t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans that had been rolled up a little bit past her calves. I suddenly felt stupid for wearing a pair of shorts when she had been wearing jeans. A pair of black and white converse sat on her feet while a pair of ray-bans covered her eyes. Christ, they even wore the same pair of shoes. She looked like a mature woman. I couldn’t help but to feel as if I looked like a stupid slut to her. I probably looked like the stupid young girls that went after her ex husband because of his social status. I suddenly felt ridiculously underdressed. Why hadn’t Billie said anything to me?

She was absolutely beautiful, and based upon looks alone, a much better fit for Billie. Of course Billie would have been attracted to her. I couldn’t have imagined anyone who looked like they belonged with Billie more than her. The two looked like soul mates.

While I’m aware of how many times I’ve stated that I was in no way jealous of what Adrienne meant to Billie due to the fact that Bryan and I had had a much similar bond, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealously bubbling within my stomach upon meeting her and their children. The more you fall for someone, the harder it became to remember and accept the fact that they had felt the same way about someone else before, also. Adrienne had been married to Billie. She had created not one, but two children with each other. They had been in love with each other. The bond that Billie and her shared, although not being married or in love anymore, would more than likely be greater than any one I could have with Billie, especially anytime soon. While Bryan and I had been together for seven years, the pair of people I was now staring at had been married for nine and had produced two children during them. Adrienne knew Billie inside and out. Not only had she known some of his secrets, but she had probably experienced some of them. Being jealous of her was inevitable.

I wondered that if Billie ever met Bryan, how he would feel about him.

“Hey,” Billie greeted with a wave from the hand that wasn’t holding my own. My heart fluttered at the realization that he hadn’t dropped my hand as I had expected him to upon meeting Adrienne. In fact, he actually had begun to rub his thumb over the back of my own in a reassuring way.

Adrienne smiled tightly at him. “The game started at two.”

Billie rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in annoyance, however didn’t bicker back. I shifted uncomfortably at the obvious tension between the two. I wondered if it was a constant thing. Billie had said that the two were fine, but I couldn’t help but feel as if we both had different definitions for fine.

From underneath her sunglasses I noticed Adrienne’s eyes settle back upon me. I not only saw, but felt her eyes crawl across my body. I took a deep breath and did my absolute best to not crumble under her gaze. Adrienne didn’t have any power over me, but I couldn’t help but be intimidated by her. I watched as Adrienne’s eyes narrowed, her lips pursed once more and then much to my surprise, she smiled. “You must be Roxanne,” she stated. Her tone was much friendlier when speaking to me than to Billie. She lifted a hand to offer. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

I lifted a shaking hand to shake hers and offered perhaps the most pathetic smile I could have mustered up. Stage fright had been nothing compared to this. I would have rather performed one of my high school shows at Madison Square Garden than have met Adrienne at the moment. “Me too,” I stumbled. She smiled sweetly at me.

I was sure that she hated me.

The three of us had gone to take our seats around Jakob when black ink on Adrienne’s arm caught my eye. I swallowed thickly as my eyes focused on what it had been. My heart skipped a beat while my stomach churned uncomfortably at the sight of it.

Billie Joe

Billie’s name had been inked into her arm and boarded with a beautiful design.

I felt like such an asshole.

I didn’t belong there at that game with that family. I couldn’t have been more out of place if I had been thrown into a different country. The two of them had each others names tattooed onto their bodies. Who the hell was I to either one?

Billie sat between Jakob and I, while Adrienne sat at the opposite end of I, next to Jakob. “You’re still shaking,” Billie murmured into my ear. He placed a comforting hand on my bare leg and rubbed it reassuringly.

“I’m probably going to pass out,” I muttered.

Billie chuckled. “Don’t do that. You’ll fall and hit your beautiful face on the metal bleacher and then your aunt will probably think I beat you.”

Truth be told, what Billie had just described almost sounded better than what I was currently being forced to endure. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes for a few seconds in order to steady my heart beat. Today had been far too much for me already and I hadn’t even met the entire Armstrong clan.

“Which one is your son?” I asked in attempt to create conversation in order to keep myself calm.

Billie lifted the arm that had been resting on my leg and slung it around my shoulder. “Number eight,” he said. He looked around the field for the moment and then lifted his other hand to point at one of the small kids that was in the outfield. “He hates outfield,” he admitted, “he thinks the ball is going to hit him every time someone swings the bat.” Billie laughed. “The kids can’t even get it high enough to hit him.”

I giggled at Billie making fun of his sons sport. “Has he ever been hit?” I asked.

“Once,” Billie answered. He bit onto his bottom lip. “By me.” I gasped and he waved his hand at me. “Ah, it wasn’t hard or anything, don’t go reporting me to the fuckin’ children’s services or anyone.” He rolled his eyes and shoved me playfully. “it was a few years ago. We were fuck--messing around in the back yard and I hit the ball harder than I meant to.” He giggled quietly while I continued to gawk at him. “He had a nice egg on his head, but he wasn’t hurt otherwise.”

“You’re awful,” I gasped. “I’d be scarred for life, too.”

Billie laughed. “I bought him ice cream every day for a week. He probably doesn’t even remember it.”

“You’re horrible,” I muttered while shaking my head in disbelief.

Billie shrugged and pulled my body to his own. He kissed the side of my head quickly however didn’t move his arm from around my shoulders and continued to hold me close as the game started.

The first half of Joey’s baseball game was, much to my surprise, as Billie promised, actually fun. Turns out, it was quite interesting watching the small kids run around chasing balls that had barely been hit. I had been to plenty of high school baseball games considering Bryan had played it a few seasons and while they were most definitely fun, they were far more competitive, which surprisingly enough took away from the game. I hadn’t spoken much to Adrienne nor Jakob, but as far as I was concerned that was quite alright. Meeting them had been enough for me for the time being.

“Are you thirsty?” Billie asked during towards the end of the second inning.

“Not really,” I answered with a shrug.

“I am,” he admitted. I cocked an eyebrow as if to ask him what he wanted from me, and he laughed and stuck out his tongue. He turned to his right to look at Jakob and Adrienne. “Are either of you thirsty?” He asked.

Adrienne declined politely, however Jakob jumped up at the question. “I am, I am,” he cried. For a moment I wondered if he understood the question due to just how excited he was. I had never seen a child so excited over being offered a beverage.

“You want a drink, buddy?” Billie offered. Jakob nodded vigorously and Billie chuckled at his enthusiastic son. “Alright, come on, I’ll get you a soda.”

“Water,” Adrienne interjected.

Billie rolled his eyes. “Really? It’s a fuckin’ baseball game, Adie. Let the kid be a kid.”

Adrienne pursed her lips and scowled at her ex husband. “Fine. When our kid turns into a diabetic, we’ll know who to blame. And watch your mouth in front of him.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Billie snapped back. I was beginning to believe that the divorce really was mutual.

Billie turned back to me. “You sure you don’t want anything?” He asked while slowly standing up. I looked up at him in confusion. Why was he making sure that I didn’t want anything? He didn’t think that he was going to leave me there with his ex wife, did he?

“I’ll see what they have,” I answered nonchalantly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Billie said. Jake had already pranced off before him and was waiting to descend the stairs.

I stared up at Billie with wide eyes as it began to dawn on me that he was indeed planning on leaving me there with his ex wife. He surely must not have known what the hell he was doing, because what motivation would he have possibly had to do such a thing to me?

“I’ll just go and see,” I stated slowly while eyeing him carefully.

Billie leant forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll be right back, you’ll be fine. I promise.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. This had to have been a sick joke. He wasn’t really attempting to ditch me with his wife, was he?

Billie chuckled. “Five minutes. Tops. You’ll be okay. I’ll be right back.” Another kiss, however this one was to my lips. For the first time since I had known Billie and he had been kissing me, I hadn’t returned it. For a split second I could have sworn I saw a look of offence cross his face, however it was covered by half of a smile. Before I had the time to react, Billie had taken off after Jake, who had begun to descend the stairs after having being made to wait for too long of a time.

For a moment I just sat there. I didn’t move, in fact I wasn’t even sure that I was breathing until I managed to choke on a bit of saliva. I coughed for a moment or two, but then went back to being still as if Adrienne was a predator and that was my mechanism of defense. While I realized I must have looked like a complete fool sitting there like a deer in headlights, I was also well aware of the fact that if I allowed myself to move and even to think, I was more than likely going to begin to cry. As I sat there, I could feel the tears burning in my throat.

What the hell had given Billie the idea to leave me there with his ex wife? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t known how terrified I was of her. He had most definitely known. He had been the one to keep commenting on how horribly I had been shaking.

What the hell had he done?

“He means well,” I heard from next to me. It took me a few moments to realize that the words were spoken to me.

I cleared my throat and choked back a few tears. There was no way I was going to cry in front of Billie’s ex wife because he had left me there. She probably thought I was immature enough without the water works. “Um, w-what? Excuse me?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if she had heard me at all.

A surprisingly warm smile melted over Adrienne’s mouth. She hesitated for a moment and then slid closer to me on the bench. “That’s Billie for you,” she said with a soft smile. “He does really stupid things like that, but it’s never out of malice. He always means well.” She looked down to the bottom of the bleachers where Jakob and Billie stood at a concession stand. “The first time I met his family he left me for an hour with his mother while he hung out with Mike and Tre.” She rolled her eyes. “You have every right to be angry at him. I didn’t speak to him for a few hours.”

“I’m pretty angry,” I admitted lamely to her.

Adrienne grinned. “I would kill him,” she said with a soft laugh. There was something about her voice that was surprisingly comforting. “Just don’t be too angry, know it was done with good intentions.” I rolled my eyes and she laughed. “He’s such an idiot.”

“He is,” I mumbled. I felt stupid for my lack of response, however I didn’t have much else to say to her. Despite how nice she was being, I was still absolutely terrified of her.

“Can I ask you something?” She asked quietly. I nodded. It wasn’t as if I would or could actually tell her no. “What do you see in him?” She asked.

I frowned. I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer such a bold question. There weren’t really too specific of things that I liked about Billie. As far as I was concerned, I liked everything about him. Except for the way he tried to introduce people.

“You’re eighteen, aren’t you?” She asked. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t sound nearly as judgmental as I had expected her to.

“I didn’t know how old he was when I met him,” I answered honestly. I was tired of having to explain such a thing to people, almost as if it was a disclaimer. I ran a hand up and down my thigh in anxiety. “I liked him the moment he started talking to me on the plane.” I hesitated and shrugged. “I just like being around him. He gives me the worst butterflies I’ve ever felt.”

Adrienne smiled sweetly at me. “He’s a good guy,” she stated. “He really is. You don’t come across too many like him.” She hesitated. “I know your relationship isn’t my place to judge, and so I’m doing my best to restrain myself.” She chuckled to herself. “I knew Billie would get a girlfriend eventually, I just didn’t expect her to be a teenager.”

I almost choked on my saliva once again. Had Adrienne really called me Billie’s girlfriend? While I suppose such a title shouldn’t have been so surprising to me, it had been the last thing I had expected to hear out of her mouth. Billie and I hadn’t discussed exactly what we were. The thought of actually being his girlfriend wasn’t exactly revolting, however.

“I didn’t even know he liked me that much,” I admitted with a nervous laugh. Billie had showered me with compliments, but I hadn’t really actually ever thought that he really liked me. I understood that he was attracted to me, and enjoyed kissing me, but actually wanting to be with someone was a completely different story.

Adrienne laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, you’re quite oblivious then.” I felt my cheeks begin to burn profusely. Adrienne’s smile faltered. “The last two girls he was with were using him,” she stated. I frowned as I recalled Billie telling me their story briefly. My heart hurt for how he must have felt. “He told me that you had no idea who he is, is that actually true?”

I appreciated that Adrienne was trying to protect her ex husband. In fact, I found it quite sweet. However, I wanted to assure her that she didn’t need to protect Billie from me. I had it bad for Billie, and at the end of the summer or whenever it came to be time for me to leave, if one of us was going to end up having our heart broken, I would have put my money on it being myself.

“My ex boyfriend listened to Green Day,” I explained briefly, “so I’ve heard of the band, but I never cared enough to actually listen to them on my own. I don’t know any of the members. I don’t even know who else is in it, other than him.” I shrugged. “When I think about it, I guess his name does sound vaguely familiar, but that’s really it.”

Adrienne’s eyes lifted from my own to over my shoulder. I twisted my neck to look behind me to see Jakob and Billie making their way back down towards us. “Don’t let him off easy,” Adrienne said to me through a smile. She winked at me and then turned her attention to her child. “Whatcha’ get?” She asked.

I shifted over so that Jakob could sit between Adrienne and I. Rather than taking back his seat next to his son and ex wife, Billie sat to the left of me. For a few seconds I felt a pang of anxiety, however I forced myself to swallow it. Everything was okay. Even if Adrienne didn’t agree with our relationship, she didn’t seem to have anything against me alone, therefore I had no reason to not want to be near her. The few minutes I had had with her truly hadn’t been that bad.

That didn’t mean I wasn’t taking her wise words into consideration, however.

Jakob held up a Sprite bottle to his mother. “Dad let me have this, but he said it’s the last sugary crap I can have all day.”

Adrienne gasped and scowled at her sons language that he had undoubtedly picked up from his father. “Jake, don’t use those kind of words. What have I told you about dad’s language?”

“It’s ugly?”

I giggled at the lesson Adrienne had drilled into her sons head. From the left of me, I heard Billie scowl at Adrienne’s conditioning. He placed a hand on my thigh and for a moment I considered brushing it off, however I decided that that would have been too cold.

“I got you a water,” Billie said to me. I shifted on the bench so that I could see his face. At the sight of his green eyes I felt my body begin to melt, however I forced myself to be strong. What he had done was, although done with good intentions, absolutely awful. He had practically thrown me to the sharks.

“Thank you,” I thanked awkwardly. I took the water from him and took a sip of it. I could see Billie frowning from next to me. I wondered if he knew how awful what he had just done to me was.

“Are you mad?” He asked hesitantly.

I almost scoffed aloud at how stupid he sounded at the moment. Did he really have to ask me if I had been angry at him? What did he expect me to be? Thankful? He had just left me with his ex wife who I had been terrified of. I had had a small anxiety attack before the game when I had learned that I was being forced to meet him. He really had to ask if I was angry at him?

Men were so stupid to the point where it was almost insulting.

“No,” I answered shortly. “What reason would I have to be angry?”

Billie frowned deeply. He didn’t move his eyes from my face. “How did it go?” He asked hesitantly.

“How did what go?”

“I saw you talking to Adrienne.”

It took a lot to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Of course he had seen me talking to Adrienne. I shrugged and took another sip of my water. “It wasn’t bad,” I answered. I knew that he had to have been dying for an answer, therefor that was exactly what he wasn’t going to get.

Billie hadn’t tried too much with me for the rest of the game, which hadn’t been much longer. For the rest of the game Billie had attempted to get me to speak to him, whether it have been joking or kissing me, however I had been having none of it. By the end of the game, Billie seemed to have been in an even more sour mood than I was.

Joey’s team had ended up winning much to everybody’s delight. Apparently, due to the victory (although Billie told me that they went out after almost every game win or lose) Billie offered to take everyone for lunch. Despite how desperately I wanted to be back at Billie’s house so that I could at least attempt to be comfortable with my existence, I didn’t have much say in what we were doing after the game. I was the one entering and ruining a family tradition, not vice versa.

I didn’t have to wait to be introduced to Joey by Billie or even Adrienne, because Jakob had taken that duty as his own. As soon as Joey had walked through the gates to where families stood waiting and congratulating their kids, Jakob had grabbed his brother and had begun to explain who I was to him.

“This is Roxanne. She mine and dad’s new best friend,” he stated proudly. Billie chuckled from the side while I paled at being forced to meet another Armstrong. “She’s going to play Mario Kart with us today. But she’s playing with me first because she said she wants to.” I hadn’t said that at all, however I didn’t feel like arguing with a five year old.

Joey looked up at me. Like his younger brother, rather than inheriting Billie’s green eyes, he had been born with his mothers brown ones. If I had thought that Jakob looked anything like Billie, the resemblance Joey had to his father had blown me away. It was actually almost as if they had cloned Billie and given him childlike features to create Joey. Apparently Billie had some strong genes.

For a moment I was worried that, due to the fact that he was older than the brother that had already accepted me he would be a bit more curious of me, however rather than questioning me, he waved. I waved back. “Did he make you let him be Yoshi?” He asked. I nodded and he rolled his eyes. “He always cries that no one lets him be it but every time I pick him he starts crying and then dad says we can’t play.”

I looked at Billie with a cocked eyebrow and he shrugged. “You should hear them fight over the stupid thing. Every weekend. I tried to sell the stupid thing, but some new one came out so nobody wants the Nintendo 64 anymore.”

I went to speak, however Jakob cut me off. “Are we getting lunch?” He asked while looking between at the three larger people of the five. Kids really had no couth.

“Yeah, buddy,” Billie answered. He squatted down so that he was the same height as his son. “You’re gonna go with your mom and Joey and Roxanne and I’ll meet you guys there, okay?” He asked. He looked up at Adrienne pleadingly from where he was squatting. Nobody had discussed how everybody was getting to wherever we were going before. He was begging for her to enforce what he was saying.

“Can’t I go with you guys?” Jakob asked.

“No, sweetie, you have to come with me,” Adrienne answered before Billie could argue with his son. “Come on, we’ll beat them there anyway, then we’ll get to eat first.”

Jakob sighed heavily. “Fine,” he muttered. For such an exuberant child, he had given in quite easily.

Adrienne and the two boys started to head to the car they had come in. I had attempted to follow suit, however Billie caught my arm and stopped me before I could do so. “We’re alone,” he pointed out. I cocked an eyebrow and nodded at his obvious statement. He sighed heavily. “Now tell me what’s wrong.” He frowned. “It’s fucking killing me that you’re obviously angry at me, Roxanne. I know you’re shy, so I let it go until we were alone.”

I rolled my eyes. “Billie, we have to go. You can’t keep your kids waiting at the diner for us,” I pointed out.

“Then just tell me what the fuck is wrong,” Billie snapped at me. My eyes widened in surprise at his nasty tone that seemed to have come out of nowhere. He ran a hand through his hair hastily. “Shit, Roxanne, at first I thought Adrienne upset you, but then I realized that the two of you were getting along better than we were!”

“Shh,” I hissed once I felt a few angry stares from parents being directed as us. “Nothing is wrong, Billie. We should go, though. You’re causing a scene in front of children.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” he snapped back at me. I gave him the evil eye. “I hate when girls pull that shit. If there’s obviously something wrong then just tell me. There’s no use fucking sitting and sulking over it. That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard of, yet you all do it!”

I hadn’t seen or heard Billie so angry since I had first met him at the airport. Apparently I had been correct and he really was the hot had I had assumed he was. It wasn’t as adorable when I was having to deal with it.

“I’m hungry,” I complained. Billie stared at me with his mouth agape in bewilderment at how I ignoring his angry ranting, scowled and then began to walk to the car. Despite his obvious sour mood, his hand managed to find my own and he began to rub his thumb reassuringly over the back of my own as he had done earlier that afternoon.

We both got into Billie’s black BMW in silence. He started it and smacked the power button for the radio to turn on. I frowned. I was becoming unsure of if I was still actually angry at him or if I was beginning to feel bad for the obvious bad mood I had put him in.

“Why would you just leave me there?” I blurted out. I was never any good at hiding why I was angry. I hated fighting more than just about anything in the world and three out of four times, did my absolute best to prevent it.

“What?” Billie snapped. He placed a cigarette in his mouth and fumbled with the lighter in his hand. I wanted to snap at him not to smoke in front of me, however I bit my tongue. The guy had been smoking longer than I had been alive. While I would eventually do my best to get him to kick the habit, now was certainly not the time.

“Earlier this afternoon. You know I was scared of Adrienne, why the hell would you just leave me there alone?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, Roxanne. I knew it was that.”

“Of course it was that!” I cried out. “Do you not realize what you did? You left me alone with your ex wife the day that I met her!”

Billie sighed heavily after exhaling smoke from his cigarette. He continued to drive in silence for a minute or so until he veered off of the busy street and onto a much less busy side road. I was about to ask him what he was doing, but he beat me to it.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized lamely. He took one last drag of his cigarette and then flicked the butt out of the window. My eyes widened in surprise at Billie’s apology. Had I been having the same argument with Bryan, he would have already made me apologize. Bryan didn’t apologize. Ever. The kid had forgotten my birthday one year and I had ended up apologizing when all was said and done. While Billie had already apologized to me before for something petty, I was still unable to process what it meant for a guy to apologize.

“Really?” I asked lamely.

Billie cocked an eyebrow at my odd reaction. “Yes?” He asked with the same confusion I had just expressed. He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “I just wanted you two to get along. Things were awkward between the two of you, and I know you two are such fucking sweethearts, so I just wanted you guys to realize it, too.”

A warm smile melted over my mouth while I stared at Billie adoringly. I couldn’t stay angry at him, especially when he had apologized. At the sight of the lovesick expression that had taken over the look of anger that had previously been on my face, the look of confusion on Billie’s face twisted into a grin. Adrienne had been completely right. Billie may have done stupid things, but he really had had good intentions. I wanted to tell Billie what Adrienne had said about me being his girlfriend, but decided that another time would probably be better than on the way to meet his kids and ex wife.

Billie unbuckled his seatbelt and I was about to ask him just what he was doing, considering we were still not where his kids were, however before I had a chance to do so he had practically climbed over the center console and latched himself onto my lips.

I giggled feverishly at Billie’s crazy antics while allowing him to assault me with kisses. His lips started out on my own, then moved down over my jaw and down my neck, then back up and quite honestly, all over me. As soon as I was finally able to grab onto his cheeks and force his lips to stay on my own for more than a few seconds, I didn’t hesitate to. I wasn’t sure if there was currently anything in the world that I enjoyed more than kissing him.

After a few moments, Billie forced himself off of me and began to attempt to compose himself. He slid back over the middle console of the car and into the drivers seat. “She’s going to kick my ass,” Billie said once he turned on the car and saw that we had been pulled over for about ten or so minutes.

We had only been driving for another five or so minutes at the most when Billie slowed and entered the driveway to a small diner. “We come here after every game,” he explained. “We used to come only after Joe’s team won, but he would get really fuckin’ depressed when his team lost because he knew we weren’t coming here, so we decided to just do it after every game.” I giggled at the thought of what a pushover Billie was with his kids.

Billie glided his BMW into an empty parking space next to a Lexus SUV that I soon realized held Adrienne and his kids. I inhaled slowly in attempt to mentally prepare myself for lunch with the family. I had survived the baseball game, however I hadn’t had to speak at all during it. I knew the chance of being able to do the same during the lunch was incredibly slim. I didn’t want to come off as stuck up because I was shy.

Billie reached over and patted the inside of my thigh gently. Our eyes connected and he grinned a crooked smile. As odd as it sounds, I was beginning to thoroughly believe that his crooked teeth were one of my favorite things about him. “Ready for round two?”

Not particularly.