Roxanne

I’m not sure if irony is the best word to use with my situation, but it sure seemed to fit. What I was finding ironic about my situation had to be the fact that I had been so convinced that Billie was one of the biggest, most pompous assholes I had ever seen back in the airport and even on the plane, yet nearly three hours later when our plane had landed in O’Hare, I was still wide awake talking to him.

We weren’t talking about anything in particular or even that interesting, really, but we still entertained each other quite a bit. I tried to find a bit out about the man that was pretty much my only hope of ever reaching California, but he wasn’t all that big on talking about himself I had found out. I had learned that he was apparently heavily into music, which I realized I should have already guessed considering the black Ramones t-shirt he was wearing. He had apparently grown up in California but traveled a lot nowadays, for reasons of which were unknown to me. In return, I admitted to growing up in southern Connecticut and Manhattan and the fact that I was heavily into the theater and photography, which I was. He seemed to like that.

For the rest of the three hours, however, all we really talked about was, well, nothing. It was nice, in all honestly. In fact I couldn’t remember the last time I had spoken to someone aimlessly for hours. Billie was good at it.

When our plane landed at the O’Hare International Airport, a part of me, although I don’t know why, expected Billie to go back into ‘asshole-mode’ and fight his way off the plane. But he didn’t.

Instead of getting up like the rest of the people in first class and filing off the plane slowly, Billie continued to just sit next to me without any signs of getting up. For a moment I wondered if we just stayed on the plane and it took us to California, but once everyone was off Billie stretched out in his seat quickly before standing up and stretching again. He then groaned and ran a hand over his tired face prior to opening up the overhead compartment and taking both of our bags down from it. While he was doing so, I had moved from his original seat at the window to where he had really sat and watched him.

I won’t bother to lie and say that the past three hours hadn’t ended up with me slightly attracted to the faux blonde haired man, but it wasn’t anything outrageous. I think it was really just the shock that he was actually nice or the fact that I was grasping to be attracted to someone other than Bryan Bates and this man just happened to be the first to take notice to me.

Billie looked up from setting our carryon’s on the floor of the plane. He jumped once noticing that I had moved over and then laughed at his own movements while lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. We both stayed there for a second and I believe it was because we were, for the first time, actually seeing each other. We had seen each other’s silhouettes the whole ride and had seen each other when the whole seat controversy had been happening, but we had never really seen each other in the light.

His tattoos were so much more vibrant in the light. I had never been one for tattoos, but I actually didn’t mind Billie’s—perhaps I even liked them a bit even though I had no idea what they were of.

I could feel Billie’s eyes on me and it caused me to purposely avoid any eye contact. I always felt a bit mortified if someone caught me staring at them or if I had caught someone staring at me. It always made situations awkward and I didn’t want to share another with Billie. Not now, at least. To break the silence that was becoming awkward, I stood up and also stretched. “Are we leaving?” I asked hesitantly. I didn’t want to seem like an annoying bitch, but I was becoming convinced that we were the only people left on the plane.

Billie chuckled and slid his hand from the back of his neck to the back of his head, where he tugged on his hair a bit. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He took a step back and motioned for me to go in front of him. I flashed a grin at Billie and stepped into the aisle before him. I picked up my carryon and walked down the aisle and then descended the stairs at the door of the plane with Billie behind me, whistling.

Despite the fact that I had Blondie guiding me through the airport and to the gate for our next flight, I was nervous as hell in O’Hare. It was large and to someone like me, who had never flown on their own before, it was incredibly intimidating. Lucky for me, though, I did have Billie to guide me throughout the airport.

And guiding me was exactly what he was doing. I had expected Billie to walk beside or for some reason in front of me, however he didn’t do either. Instead of walking as I had expected him to, Billie walked to the right of me, only a bit behind me while resting a hand on the back of my shoulder. I didn’t take it as anything…sexual, so to say, or him hitting on me at all, though. It was more of a guiding, comforting grip and that was just about it. I’ll admit that it surprised me a bit at first, though.

Billie stopped us underneath two large screens. I turned to look at him to see him looking upwards at them and despite that it wasn’t bright at all in the airport, he was squinting. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

With my luck, he’d say that we missed our damn plane and would have to spend the night. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Billie, because I honestly did enjoy my time with him, but I could have done without the hassle. There was also the factor that I didn’t even really know this man. Let’s face it, with the amount of trust I was giving this man, who I barely knew at all, he could have easily been a serial killer and abducted me.

Billie didn’t answer at first, just continued to stare upwards until he must have gotten the information he wanted. He looked around the airport and nodded slowly before turning to me. “We’ve got fifteen or so minutes here. Not even, we’ve got to get our bags checked.” He sighed and took the hand that had been comfortably resting on my shoulder to run through his two-toned hair. “Are you hungry? Cause I’m fucking starving.”

I choked back a giggle. Just by listening to the way he spoke it was easy to tell that the man was indeed a hothead. Truth was, I had just eaten a large meal as a farewell from my parents before the first flight, but if Billie, who was practically my knight in shining armor right now, was hungry then I wasn’t going to go deny him food. “Is there anything to eat in fifteen minutes?” I asked slowly.

Billie groaned. “Not anything that’s worth its price, but the shit you’ll find here is better than airplane food.” He then sighed and lifted his other hand to also run through his hair. “There’s got to be some concession stand shit around; they can’t expect people to eat the food on the planes.” I knew that Billie had meant what he was saying, but it still caused me to snort. Upon my snorting, Billie looked at me and chuckled.

Only a couple minutes later, Billie had found a concession stand. I stared at the lack of choices while Billie did the same for a minute or so. He groaned lowly and I laughed, which caused him to grin crookedly before just asking for a bag of chips. The man at the cash register looked up at me with a cocked eyebrow, as if waiting for my response. I hesitated and found myself stuttering due to the fact that I hadn’t really expected to be ordering anything. In the end, I had also ended up with a bag of chips.

I stuck my hand into my pocket to fish out the small amount of money I had placed there before the flight in case I needed it, but was stopped as Billie whacked my arm. He didn’t do it hard, but it stopped me from what I was doing. I hesitated and then proceeded to pull out my ten dollar bill slowly only to have Billie roll his eyes. “Don’t be modest, I’m paying.”

I groaned. “No. You’ve already done enough for me and we’re not even on the plane. If anything, I should be paying for yours.”

Billie waved a hand dismissively at me. “Relax, it’s not like this is some big goddamn task.” He then handed the cashier his own ten dollar bill. “Just be a girl and let me pay for it.”

I think I rather liked the fact that Billie was an asshole. He wasn’t the type of asshole that was repulsive or anything, just an asshole. As contradictive as it sounds, he was a good asshole. Or, rather, he was an asshole with what seemed a good heart.

I scowled. “No, I hate it when people pay for my things.” And it was true. I loathed it when other guys paid for my things. Bryan and I had argued constantly about it.

Billie looked up from the change that he was being handed while I groaned again in realization that I had lost. He laughed at me due to that and tucked the few bills he received back into his pocket. “Like I said, don’t be so goddamn modest.” He winked. “Just take it as a thank you for not boring the fuck out of me on the plane or falling asleep on me.”

“Thanks,” I muttered.

Billie laughed again and shook his head. “I’d say put that in your bag until the plane,” he suggested. “I doubt they’ll let you eat it as you go on.”

I did as Billie said while he also did the same before he lead us off to our gate where our bags would be, yet again checked. Unlike Billie’s time at JFK, the security check was quick and painless and we were both walking towards our plane within a few minutes along with the other people that were headed to Oakland.

Billie chuckled as we entered another plane that looked exactly the same as our previous one. “It starts to all look familiar, doesn’t it? Same boring crap.” He guided us down the aisle and to another pair of seats in which I guessed we would be sitting in. I hesitated and shifted back and forth on my feet. Billie cocked an eyebrow at me. “What’s up?”

“You don’t mind that I sit with you again, do you?” I asked hesitantly. I didn’t really think he did, but if by any chance he did mind, I didn’t want to impose on him anymore than I already had.

Billie waved a hand dismissively at me. “Don’t be crazy. If I didn’t want you sitting here I’d tell you.” I didn’t say anything else as Billie put both of our bags into the overhead compartment, but instead stood awkwardly in the aisle. When he was finished, he turned to look at me and motioned for me to sit down.

And so I sat down, back in the window seat as I had originally been in when we had formally met, only on a different plane while Billie also dropped down in the aisle seat. I actually found myself looking forward to another flight with Billie. He was one of the people that was just incredibly easy to be around even if he did have quite the attitude at some points.

I watched as Billie stretched out in his seat and then relaxed in what looked to be a terribly uncomfortable position, however he couldn’t have minded too much because he didn’t bother to move from it. “Hey,” Billie called after a moment. I shifted in my seat and took my eyes away from the darkness outside of the plane to the man that I pretty much owed my whole damn vacation to. I cocked an eyebrow in response instead of verbally answering. “You don’t mind if I sleep, do you?”

I grinned at Billie. Truth was, I had really been planning on doing the same thing. I wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but I knew it was well into the morning, meaning two or three AM. I didn’t want to get to my aunts and sleep away a few days of my vacation from the lack of sleep on the plane and jet lag. The only con to the whole sleeping idea was the fact that I knew within a few hours, when I’d get off the plane and leave the airport with my aunt, I’d most likely never see Billie again.“No,” I said, “not at all. I was planning on doing the same thing, really.”

Billie sighed in what seemed to be relief. “Thanks.” He ran a hand over his tired face and for the first time, I took notice that his fingers were indeed bare—when it came to jewelry, that is. He seemed to have even a few tattoos there. If he hadn’t decided to sleep on the way to Oakland, I would have asked him about them.

The most mortifying moment of my life had been my 8th grad graduation. For it, we were called onto a stage by rows that we had been set up in by last name. We would get our Middle School diploma and then walk off stage back to our seats. It was eighth grade and I didn’t know how to walk in heels, but I had worn them that night anyway.

Needless to say, when it came to going off of the stage to return to my seat, I somehow ended up on the floor.

It hadn’t been one of those moments that they emphasize is embarrassing in movies by making everyone laugh at the person who had fallen—it was just the opposite. It had been dead quiet. I had managed to pick myself and practically run back to my seat, completely embarrassed. Bryan, the good hearted kid he was, tried to make me laugh it off afterwards.

Four years later it still didn’t amuse me much. I guess I could find that was slightly amusing about it, but I think it would take me another few years before I could actually laugh at the fact that I tumbled off the stage in front of my school and everyone’s families.

I’m not sure if I’d ever bounce back from the mortification I was currently feeling, however.

The plane had landed at Oakland International Airport only a couple of minutes before I had been woken up by the stewardess coming over the speakers to tell us that the flight had landed. When I had woken up, I hadn’t been exactly conscious enough to get up and move. Instead, I continued to lie how I had been for what I assumed was most of the flight without opening my eyes at all for another couple minutes.

I was a natural cuddler. By saying that, I mean that whether I was sleeping in a bed or not, next to a person or anything else, I most likely cuddled. I loved to be cuddled, so in return when I slept I pretty much grabbed onto anything that was close to me and cuddled with it. I guess that’s how you become when you’ve been in love since before you could remember.

And so I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised or at least half as mortified as I was when I felt the “pillow” that I believed I was cuddling against shifted against me.

I groaned and heard myself mutter a few incoherent words as I buried my nose into the soft fabric that my face was resting on while moving my arm that was wrapped around the object. I heard a chuckle and at the same time that the noise hit my ears, the object beneath me moved up and down quickly. What really caught my attention, however, was when my name was called gently.

I lifted my head slowly at the calling of my name and opened my eyes. I groaned and blinked a few times while lifting my hand that hadn’t been wrapped around my pillow to wipe the sleep away from my eyes. It was then that I had noticed that my pillow hadn’t been a pillow at all, but rather a person.

Billie sat next to me in his designated seat with his hand also clearing the sleep from his eyes. That wasn’t the problem; the problem was my arm that had been comfortably wrapped around his rather thin torso and the fact that my face had been buried into his chest.

I stared with wide eyes down at my arm along with Billie. The difference, however, was the fact that he laughed. “Good morning, sunshine,” he greeted sarcastically. It wasn’t rudely sarcastic at all. Instead he sounded quite amused. He obviously wasn’t as appalled my by cuddling as I was.

I slid my arm off of his warm body slowly, trying my best to not let myself turn beet red with embarrassment. I was mortified. If there was any word that expressed how mortified I was better than the word mortified, then I was most definitely was it. If I could have fit, I most likely would have thrown myself out of the planes window and onto the runway in hopes that another plane would run me over. For a moment I believed that I was actually melting into the seat behind me from embarrassment.

Billie was the complete opposite, though. Instead of nearly crying from humiliation, he was laughing. I hadn’t noticed his hand on my shoulder due to the fact that I was almost hyperventilating at first, but when I did Billie did his best to calm me down. “Relax, Roxanne. I woke up pretty much fucking smothering you, too. It’s a natural way to sleep.” He laughed and got up from his seat. “Don’t be embarrassed. If I had noticed or given a fuck I would have moved you.”

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. I had heard his last few words, but as of now all I could really process in my mind was how stupid I felt and how sorry I was.

Billie rolled his eyes at me as he took our bags down. “Don’t apologize for fuckin sleeping.” He then set our bags down with a grunt and closed the compartment. When Billie noticed that I hadn’t moved from the spot that I seemed to be glued to, he sighed and climbed over our bags to get over to me. “Roxanne, breathe.” He then laughed. “This isn’t a big deal. Really. You weren’t molesting me for christsakes.” Billie patted my shoulder reassuringly and stepped away from me, back into the aisle. He grabbed his bag and stood up straight. “Come on, Rox. We’re once again the last ones on the plane.”

I’m not sure what exactly snapped me out of my current unstable state, perhaps it was the way he had cut my name in half, but when he was finished speaking I found myself able to move. I huffed and ran a hand through my red hair before slowly making my way into aisle, in front of Billie. Wordlessly I grabbed my bag and headed off the plane with him once again following me.

Entering Oakland’s airport was bittersweet to me. It was a fantastic feeling to finally be in California, but at the same time I knew that I’d have to find my aunt and leave the man that I had just been smothering. Seeing as I had admitted it a few times already, it wasn’t hard to admit to myself that I had grown rather fond of Billie within the past few hours.

I set down my bag in the middle of the airport, which caused Billie to stop walking next to me. He turned and looked at me while still holding his carryon. “Are you alright?” He asked.

I nodded slowly and found myself yet again running a hand through my hair. If I didn’t fear that I’d cause an awkward situation, I would have just hugged him right then and there. However, there was the fact that the man was still pretty much a stranger to me and I had just woken up from cuddling him. “I should probably find my aunt,” I admitted. “I’m sure she’s here and waiting for me.” I looked down at the ground and then hesitantly up to his eyes.

They were green.

Billie smiled softly at me. “That’s right,” he agreed. We both stood there awkwardly for a moment. “Well, you still have to get your bags. Go find your aunt then go and get them. If I see them while waiting for mine, I’ll grab them.”

“Thank you,” I murmured. He was making it hard to not hug him. “I’ll see you in a bit, then.” Billie nodded and we both went our separate ways for the time being.

It wasn’t hard to find my aunt at all even though I barely knew what she was looking like. What made finding her so easy was the fact that she had found me. I couldn’t make out the words she was saying at all for the first five or so minutes, all I really understood was the fact that she was crushing my lungs and “so happy to finally see” me again. She was sweet; I had to give her that.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she admitted, “your father said he was worried about the whole connecting flight thing, which I completely understand. When I first began flying I had no idea what I was doing. Oh, we knew you’re a smart girl though. Oh god, your red hair! Your mother told me about that—it looks fantastic! Oh, God, Roxanne! I can’t believe how beautiful you are.”

I tried my best to keep up as she continued to compliment me. I had remembered my aunt being well…bouncy. She was incredibly sweet and extraordinarily intelligent, but she was very energetic. I believe she had more energy than I did and I was the eighteen year old here. “I need to go get my bags,” I finally managed to admit after a moment of my aunt choking me through hugs.

She nodded. “Of course, sweetie. I’ll take this one to the car and then bring it up so we can go. Oh, God, you must be exhausted! You poor thing. Okay, okay, go get your bags.”

I nodded slowly and found myself in slight awe of how energetic this forty-seven year old woman was. Once I saw that she had left the airport I turned and headed over to the baggage claim. Billie, low and behold, was standing there with his and my bags only a few feet away. He grinned once he saw me and I returned it as I walked closer. “Thank you,” I sighed. “You’ve done so much for me in the past few hours. I wish I could repay you.”

Billie chuckled as he slid my bags over to me. He then stood up straight and waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about it. You’re sweet, Roxanne.”

I found myself hating his compliments towards me. Not because I didn’t like him or his compliments, but because each one brought a blush to my cheeks. Billie smiled crookedly as he picked up his bags and motioned forward as if to say to walk together. And so we did.

Both of us exited the rather cool airport into the warm Californian air. Billie sighed thankfully and set his bags down. “Home sweet home,” he stated. He then turned and looked at me. “You’ll like it here, Roxanne.” I took notice of how he kept saying my name every time he spoke to me lately. I didn’t mind it at all.

“Thank you,” I thanked for most likely the hundredth time that night. “I honestly don’t know how the hell I would have handled O’Hare if you hadn’t yelled at me about your seat.”

Billie laughed and ran a hand over his unshaven cheek. “Yeah,” he muttered, “I forgot that part.” He then chuckled and looked back to me. “Well, thank you for keeping me company then.” I grinned as we stood there awkwardly. Billie shrugged and then looked to the parking lot as a black BMW pulled up to where we were standing. He waved to it and then turned back to me. “We’ll probably see each other again; I prowl Berkeley and Oakland because I’ve got nothing else to do.” He shrugged slowly. “If not, then have fun in California with your aunt.” He smiled at me and then after hesitating for a moment, wrapped an arm around my back and hugged me so quickly that I’m not sure I even really felt it.

I heard myself stutter a few dazed words as he chuckled and walked to the black car that a taller man with brown hair was getting out of. I watched him, not registering in my mind that my aunt had also pulled up behind the car that Billie was getting into for the next few minutes. When I finally did regain composure, though, I carried my bags to my aunts Mercedes and loaded them into the trunk as Billie did the same to the car that I assumed he would be leaving in. My aunt was quick to ask for detail about the blonde man, but there honestly wasn’t all that much detail to give.

I knew his first name, the fact that he was into music and liked to travel. I assumed by the lack of a wedding ring that he wasn’t married. I assumed that he was pretty young from just looking at him. I assumed a lot of things, but didn’t know much at all. I had no clue what the rest of his name really was, where the hell he lived or anything else about him—only that he seemed to have a temper but a pretty good heart.

A rather large part of me, for reasons which I don’t really understand myself, expected to trade numbers with him. I guess I kind of believed that we had gotten close over the space of, what, five hours? I couldn’t understand why I was so…disappointed at the fact that that was most likely the end of Billie. I didn’t know him at all.

But that’s exactly what I was as I climbed into my aunt’s car—I was absolutely disappointed.