Roxanne

I decided not to go telling my aunt all about how I ran into Billie earlier that day or how we exchanged phone numbers for a few reasons.

The first reason was that I found myself afraid that she’d ask me about Billie—including his oh-so lovely age. The fact that Billie was thirty one didn’t bother me as much as it had when I had first learnt it, but it was still on my mind quite a bit. I don’t think it was so much his actual age that was what was bothering me as much as it was what came with age. I couldn’t help but wonder if Billie was, well, married. True, I hadn’t seen a wedding ring on his finger on the plane or at all during both of our meetings, but I knew of a lot of married men who didn’t wear wedding bands and Billie easily looked as if he could have been one of them.

There was also the problem that his age was just about all I knew about Billie.

I’m sure after telling my aunt about the plans I had made with Billie she would expect to know more about him than she previously had, much like anyone would. However, I wouldn’t be able to tell my aunt even a fraction of what she would expect me to because I still didn’t know anything about him.

Billie was thirty one and lived in California. The end.

The second reason that I hadn’t decided to tell my aunt about the exchanging of phone numbers and the plans to sometime “hang out” with Billie was because I knew that my aunt would jump to conclusions. By jumping to conclusions, I mean that my aunt would most likely take the fact that Billie and I had decided to hang out and twist it so that it somehow ended up being a legitimate date. What made that a problem was, well the obvious reason that my aunt would believe that Billie and I were dating, thus bringing us back to the first reason as to why I kept my mouth quiet.

The third and most final reason had to be my biggest fear: my aunt would go and tell my parents. It wouldn’t be malicious or anything because my aunt simply wasn’t like that, but instead an innocent mistake—perhaps my parents would call and my aunt would tell them that I had found a male that I enjoyed spending time with. There wasn’t any reason for her not to tell them if I didn’t ask her not to. And even if I had told her and asked her not to tell them, there was always the chance that she’d let the news slip by pure accident. And then there’d be a problem considering I’m pretty sure that my father wouldn’t enjoy the news that his only child, an eighteen year old girl, was hanging out with some thirty one year old guy.

Of course, there was also the chance that Billie would never call me.

For all I knew, after Billie and I had gone our own directions from the supermarket, he had completely changed his mind. I’m pretty damn sure that my age wasn’t just forgotten all of a sudden. I would have been extraordinarily disappointed if Billie never called, but I was also forcing myself to not get my hopes up on the man. I don’t believe I was exactly strong enough emotionally for more disappointment in my life, especially from a guy.

It was later that night that I could be found sitting in my aunt’s kitchen, watching the television although not focusing on it at all. My aunt had been sitting next to me on another stool. She was also watching the television; however she was also eating some of the baked ziti that I had made earlier that evening before she had gotten home. Other than the television, there had been an incredibly comfortable silence in the large house that hadn’t bothered me in the least.

Well, that was until my cell phone that had been sitting next to me on the island began to belt out my ringtone and vibrate. I slowly turned my attention from the television to the now lit-up screen with little interest considering that it had been in my mind that it would be my parents.

Billie J.

I didn’t recognize the name on the screen at first and so I did nothing but stared at it while trying to figure out who the hell Billie J was. It had never crossed my mind, surprisingly, who it could have been and I believe it was because the possibility of it actually being Billie seemed so small and way too good to be true—we had only exchanged phone numbers earlier that day!

However, once I did indeed realize that I knew no other Billie J’s [or Billie’s for the matter] I jumped quite a bit on my stool and had to steady myself quickly from it.

My aunt cocked an eyebrow and chuckled. “Who is it?” She asked at my obvious surprise.

If I could have re-lived the moment that I had been in, I probably would have made my surprise not so blatant. Perhaps, had I not acted so surprised in the first place my aunt wouldn’t have cared who was calling me like she did as I slid off of my stool and exited the room quickly after mumbling “just a friend from home”.

Honestly, though, I bet if I had had the chance to re-live the moment in which I realized who was calling me that night I still would have reacted the same way because it still would have surprised me. Out of the long list of people that I could have seen calling me that night, Billie was not near the top of it—I don’t believe he was even on the list at all.

I sat down on the stairs in my aunt’s foyer with my vibrating phone still in hand. I probably would have sat and stared at the screen for another minute or so had I not realized how long my phone had been ringing and much sooner than later it was going to go to my voicemail.

It was a bit ridiculous, really, how I was acting over Billie calling me. He had told me he was going to, but that really didn’t mean all that much—men often said they were going to do things that they would never follow through on. It was their nature.

Without anymore hesitation I accepted the call and placed my phone against my ear. “Hello?” I answered. I winced at how small I sounded. I was nervous; incredibly nervous and therefore my voice felt the need to show it bluntly. I was one of the people that had a voice that seemed to rise about five or so pitches when nervous so hiding it was impossible.

If I hadn’t been sure that it was indeed Billie calling me before, I most certainly was now. Despite the fact that I had only spoken to Billie a couple of times before, his laugh and voice were unmistakable. Billie didn’t have a deep voice at all. I’m not saying that his voice sounded like mine or anything because it didn’t—he had a voice that was obviously a males; it just was different from most males that I had heard. I liked it.

“Roxanne?” Billie asked hesitantly. His voice hadn’t risen about five pitches as mine had but I’d like to believe that he almost sounded, well, somewhat equally as nervous as I had.

“Billie?” I returned. I felt stupid because it was obviously Billie. I think the first time you call anyone, though, it’s like this.

Billie chuckled and despite the small butterflies that I had noticed for the first time in my stomach it made me grin. “Yeah,” he answered slowly. “Yeah, hi.” There was then a slight pause, but Billie managed to save it from becoming awkward. “How are you? Did I call at a bad time?”

I was surprised at his questions because they almost made him sound…sweet. I’m not sure what exactly Billie was, but he didn’t seem as sweet as those questions made him sound. I wasn’t one to argue, though. I think what I liked most about Billie was that he seemed like an asshole, if that made any sense at all.

“No,” I murmured, “no, no, it’s fine.” I ran a hand through my hair slowly, racking my brain of what to say without sounded as young and immature as I felt. I think it was a bit inevitable to feel anything but young and immature when talking to a guy so much older. “I’m great, though, thanks. How are you?”

So far so good.

The grin was easy to hear in Billie’s voice. “Likewise,” he agreed. He hesitated. “So, hey, are you busy, uh, tomorrow?”

Was I currently busy tomorrow? No, not at all. Was I hoping to be busy tomorrow after this phone call? Possibly.

“Umm,” I hummed. “Well…no.” I wasn’t going to toy with the man’s head. With my luck, I’d try to do so and piss him off to the point where he would change his mind. I didn’t know how to the hell to flirt or play hard to get or any crap like that.

Billie chuckled at my lack of creativity in my answer. I think laughing was one of Billie’s nervous habits; it sure as hell seemed like it. “Okay, great,” he stated. “Well, then, would you, uh, would you like to…” Billie drifted off and then scowled. “Shit, Roxanne, I’m bad at this kind of shit. I’m fuckin terrible, actually. I don’t know how the fuck to do any of this.”

I tried my absolute best to not embarrass Billie in any way but I couldn’t manage to choke back the laughter that was bubbling into my throat any longer. I wasn’t laughing at him at all, but rather at how…adorable his stuttering was and how blatantly honest he was about it all.

“I am, too,” I agreed. It was the truth. Of course Billie didn’t know it, but he was talking to a girl that had only ever dated one guy. At this point in my life I couldn’t even remember how relationships began or anything of the kind because I had been in one for so long. “I bet I’m worse,” I admitted. “Don’t worry about it.”

If anything, I liked the fact that Billie didn’t know how to make a move or whatever he was trying to do more than if he had “known” how to do it. I liked his lack of confidence; it made him so much more real than if he had had a clue as to what he was doing.

Billie chuckled. “Good,” he sighed. “I don’t feel like such a fucking idiot.” He sighed again. “Alright, alright, okay. Would you like to get lunch with me tomorrow…and then I could show you around.”

I noticed how he added that last part quickly to the end there.

I grinned into the phone as I continued to sit on my aunt’s steps. True, I had come to California refusing any sort of relationship with any man in the whole damn state but by Billie asking me out to lunch it technically wasn’t a relationship. It wasn’t a relationship, actually. If anything, we were becoming friends and I had never chosen to deny myself that.

“I’d like that,” I accepted after realizing that the poor man was probably waiting for an answer. “What time, though?”

“Uh,” Billie mumbled. “Whatever time is good for you? It doesn’t matter to me.”

And that brought up the question of how the hell Billie had money. Tomorrow was indeed a weekday—shouldn’t he have been working like just about every other adult out there? The man was thirty one; shouldn’t he have had a job? How the hell had he paid for a plane ticket and how did he like to travel if he didn’t seem to work a damn job?

“I sleep late,” I admitted openly. “Anywhere around noon is good for me.”

Billie chuckled. “I do, too,” he admitted. “Noon is fine.”

“Do you want me to meet you?” I asked hesitantly. It was only natural to ask but I found myself praying to god that Billie would say no and offer to pick me up. I suppose whether he picked me up or not didn’t make that much of a difference but I would have much rather him pick me up than driving in separate cars so that I could learn as much as possible about him.

I was so desperate to learn more about Billie. It was getting to the point where I almost asked him to tell me about himself on the phone right then, however I held myself back from doing so.

“Nah,” Billie said much to my delight. “I’ll pick you up. I just need to know where you’re staying.”

I groaned inwardly at the last sentence that came from Billie’s mouth. How the hell could I possibly tell him where I was staying if I had had no idea myself? Of course, that meant I’d have to go and ask my aunt her address in order to tell Billie, thus bringing up questions from my aunt as to why I needed the address. The plan of not telling my aunt about Billie just yet seemed to be failing rapidly.

“Can I get back to you on that?” I asked slowly. “I don’t know my aunt’s address or even what street she lives on—I’m so clueless around here.”

Billie laughed. “Don’t worry about it; we’ll take care of it.” He was adorable and it was slowly killing me on the inside.

I decided that I’d hang up with Billie and then as casually as possible, especially after the way I had left my aunt when he had first called ask her where the house that we were currently living in was. It’s not as if asking for the address was an uncommon or unreasonable question—I’m sure many people would have wanted to know where they were staying.

“Do you know how to text message?” I asked after mulling over how to ask my aunt in my head.

“How to what?” Billie asked.

I giggled once remembering how Billie had admitted how terrible he was with technology earlier that day. “Um, text message. Like, I type on my phone and send it to yours—kind of like an email, I guess, but a bit different. It goes to your phone.”

Billie was silent and then scowled. “I…I don’t know jack shit about phones, Roxanne. I barely know how to make and receive calls and I’m still struggling with that shit.”

I continued to giggle quietly. “Well, then I’ll show you how to text message tomorrow, but I was thinking tonight that I could text you my aunt’s address after I ask her.”

Billie was silent for a moment. “Uh.” he sighed in doubt. “You can try but there’s no promising that I’ll get it. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I don’t know shit about technology.”

I loved how honest Billie was when it came to his lack of technology. He didn’t try to sugar coat it or anything; instead he admitted openly how much he truly sucked with it with quite an attitude. The man had a pretty bad attitude, quite honestly, but I believe if he hadn’t had an attitude he wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun to have been around.

“Okay,” I giggled, “well, how about I text you my aunt’s address tonight and then if you don’t get it we’ll talk in the morning or later tonight?” Yes, there was a possibility that I was hoping that he wouldn’t get the text message so I’d be able to talk to him again before our next meeting.

“I won’t get it,” he mumbled lowly. “But I’ll try for your sake.”

“Thank you,” I thanked through an uncontrollable grin.

Despite it all, Billie chuckled. “You’re welcome,” he returned. “When should I expect this text message by? Otherwise I won’t know if I fuckin’ got it or not.”

“By eight-thirty you should have it,” I stated. I looked at the clock to see that it was only seven forty five. “If you don’t get it by then then call me, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Alright, I’ll call you later then.”

I laughed and how pessimistic this poor guy was. “I’m glad to see you’re so optimistic,” I giggled. “Maybe I’ll talk to you later.”

“You will,” Billie urged.

I giggled. “Alright, good luck, Billie.”

Billie scowled. “Thanks, Roxanne.” He then sighed. “Bye.”

I’m not sure if I said goodbye or not to the man on the phone but either way I ended up hanging up in a state of shock. I knew that I had just lived through that phone call and that I hadn’t been dreaming and if anything, I was just realizing it. Whether I liked to admit it or not, Billie was currently making me happy—that is if that’s what I currently was as I sat on my aunt’s stairs.

I didn’t get up right away from the stairs to go ask my aunt about whereabouts her house was but rather continued to sit on the stairs and tried to plan out, to the best of my ability, how exactly I was going to ask her. It was a good thing I had never planned on being an author of any sort because my lack of creativity was absolutely dreadful.

After a few moments of continuing to sit on the stairs, I finally removed myself from them and slowly walked back into the large kitchen. My aunt was still perched on her stool, still watching the television yet the dish she had been eating from was now gone along with the food that had been on it. When she noticed my presence in the room, she cocked an eyebrow. “What was that about?” She asked with a confused laugh.

I supposed I would have done the same thing had I been her and I had a niece that acted the same way.

“What’s your address?” I asked, completely ignoring her question. Yeah, it was pretty damn fantastic that I had never considered being an author.

My aunt’s eyebrow stayed cocked in confusion. “What?” She asked slowly.

“Uhm,” I mumbled. “What’s your address—a friend of mine was wondering where I’m staying.”

My aunt kept the exact same expression for a long moment. I almost took back my question and went to go look outside for myself to see where the hell she lived because this just simply wasn’t working out at all.

My aunt cocked her head to the side a bit, though she continued to watch me. “Why? What friend?”

I groaned loudly and sunk onto a stool on the opposite side of the island that my aunt had been sitting at. I had officially failed to be subtle any way. At this point I was going to do nothing but lie through my teeth. It probably would have been easier to just admit to my aunt that Billie and I now had plans for the next day but I still wasn’t comfortable with her knowing anything about him other than he had helped me out at the airport. As it currently was, I was planning on finding out everything that I possibly could about Billie tomorrow in order to not only know for myself, but so that I could be somewhat comfortable with telling my aunt about him. If anything, I saw tomorrow as a large opportunity more than anything else.

“My friend Sadie,” I lied. “She’s my best friend and she knows Berkeley pretty well because she’s come here a few times over the past few years. She wanted to know where I’m staying. She’s my best friend; practically my sister.”

My aunt stared at me from across the long island and I believe she was contemplating telling me. If she didn’t tell me I just decided that I would go outside and check even though her house was at the end of a long road, much to my luck. However, my aunt finally must have felt a bit of pity for my failure of a story and told me her address. “Roxanne,” my aunt warned. “If I find out that you have a party or anything while I’m at work or when I go down to LA—”

“No!” I cried out, cutting my aunt off. That was the complete opposite of what I had been planning to do. I placed my phone on the island and stood up. “No, no, that’s not it at all. I don’t throw parties and I rarely ever go to them. I promise I would never do anything like that here—I love it here, I wouldn’t go against you like that.”

And it was the truth. I was a good kid; I always had been. I had never had any reason to go against my parent’s regulations. They had given me everything I had ever wanted, including this trip to California and now I felt the same way with my aunt seeing as she was allowing me to stay in her home and trusting me here alone.

My aunt’s gaze finally broke from my face and she smiled sweetly to me. “I do trust you Roxanne, quite a bit, too. Your parents have told me countless number of times how good of a kid you are and I agree with them so far.”

I grinned at my aunt in relief and thanked her multiple times as I picked up my Sidekick and quickly texted Billie the address that my aunt had just told me. It only occurred to me then that he had entered Billie J into my phonebook. The fact that he had entered only a damn J for what I assumed to be his last name bothered me almost too much to put into words.